This post is inspired by questions from Julia who was married for 12 years and has been divorced for 2 years. She asks why non-monogamous relationships disturb her so much and wants to know if she should be more open to them?
Julia was monogamous in her marriage, but now has questions about open relationships as a single person. Sometimes she thinks she should try it because she gets so obsessed in her romantic relationships, but the thought disturbs her to the core.
The Council suggests Julia find the love for herself she’s looking for in relationships and asks why she wants to experience something she knows will be unpleasant in order to fit in. They also suggest Julia listen to herself and ask why make herself uncomfortable.
The Council advises more self-love, more doing for herself, and being gentle with herself to draw in the right people.
In one lifetime she was one of many wives and wasn’t made to feel special. She was lonely, didn’t receive enough attention, and that began her uncomfortable feeling she carries into this lifetime. Perhaps knowing where this feeling of uncomfortableness with open relationships comes from will make it possible to release this and work on loving herself more.
The Council says it’s fine to be in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships, but encourages Julia to choose what’s comfortable for her and ask why she’d put herself in a relationship where there’s no comfort. Choosing a monogamous relationship with someone who has similar beliefs would be easier for her.
Listen to the entire 9-minute conversation with The Council to hear all of what they had to say.
This post is inspired by an anonymous reader who says she’s suffered over a contract with her soul mate that he’s repeatedly broken. But The Counsel says there’s no contract to break, just an agreement, and it’s time to change it, to end it, or redesign it.
She seeks a release from the suffering she’s experienced, has no interest in men she meets even though they’re interesting, says she wants out of the relationship with her soul mate, and doubts she’ll feel love again although she’d like to. The Counsel asks how she can never feel love again when that is what she truly is. It is her essence even though she chooses out of fear, frustration, and anger not to experience it.
The Counsel says the man she calls her soul mate isn’t involved with other women out of weakness, but because he’s searching for love and that’s all good. They suggest she move forward in a loving spirit and understand this is just a plan that’s taken a turn. Nothing is wrong. There’s just a different way to experience the love she thought she’d have with this man.
The Council says the most important thing to remember is that these two people agreed they would try to bring love into this reality. But there are difficult times and the question is, can you stay in the love? The Counsel believes she doesn’t feel this love for herself so they say to step away from this relationship and find it. When she finds it things will change for her. It’s possible it will be a magnet that will bring him back or she will bring in new people that are the same loving vibration.
Listen to the entire 11-minute session to hear all the details.
Copyright ℗ 2015 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
This post is inspired by the following question for The Council from Anne.
“Do you see me in a loving relationship with a man coming into my life? I have created the space and I am open to be with an amazing man.”
The black bar below plays a 2½ minute recording of the segment of a session with The Council to answer Anne’s question.
Play: Click triangle (►). Pause: Click icon (||) that that replaces the triangle while the recording plays. Fast Forward/Rewind: Click to the right/left of the play bar during play. Mute on/off: Click speaker icon. Volume: Click bar to the right of the speaker icon.
Keep Focused on What You Desire
The Council’s answer to Anne’s question emphasizes the importance of your focus of attention and how this relates to getting what you want in your life. The following Council quotes are session highlights to help you decide if you want to use the audio player above to listen to these comments in the context of the session. The first comment below was their response being read the first sentence of Anne’s question: “Do you see me in a loving relationship with a man coming into my life?”
“No, no, no, no, no [quickly 9-10 times]. Does she see herself in a relationship with a wonderful man coming into her life? Do you see where we’re going [with this]?”
“Talk about it… feel it… imagine it… draw pictures of it… watch romantic movies. Whatever it is that keeps your focus [on] the relationship that you want, right down to every detail that you would like, is a wonderful exercise.
“And so do we see it? Yes, we do see this. It is there in what she would consider her future.
“It is also there [in Anne’s future] that she does not meet this particular man that she would have a wonderful life with.
“It is her focus [that determines] what will be brought into her life. But if she, [as] she says, clears the space [and] focuses on this [relationship], yes we do see this for her.”
How is your attention focused?
If Anne consistently focuses her attention on the relationship and the man she desires in her life, The Council says they see this happening for her. They also mention the possibility of a future for Anne where this doesn’t happen, and The Council emphasizes Anne’s focus of attention on her desire will determine the future she experiences. The question is: what kind of focus of attention will allow Anne to experience her desired outcome?
This post is inspired by an overlooked question asked several years ago by reader named Fe, who made some interesting observations about the differences between the roles of men and women, and she asks The Council: “When All That Is conceived of and created our species for this physical reality, what was the intended nature of each gender, of their roles, and of their intimate relationship?”
“From the very beginning, when spirit created male and female it was known that as we continue through our expansion and our many many lives, that we would take part in each gender. And so we would experience being the man [and] we would experience being the woman.
“And the only thing that was pre-planned at that time was that we would have the man and the woman. We would come into this lifetime… into these bodies… and (as they say) work it day by day. There was no assumption that the male would be stronger and the female would be weaker.
“And through different periods of time the man was stronger and the woman was weaker. And the roles were reversed and the woman was stronger (and we believe you have heard stories, which are true, of the Amazons) and the man was weaker.
“The intention was to experience both and create it the way you wanted it to be. So there was no fine line that said the man will be stronger [and] the female weaker, or vice verse.
“In your recent generations many women were taught that the man was the head of the house… that a woman that was not married was an old maid… and pity the person that could not find themselves in a permanent relationship. And then there was the thought that if you did marry and did not have children, that was oh so sad.
“And so now you have seen this changing. Many women choose not to be in relationships. Many women choose to set their sights on careers, or just evolve in their own lives, whether with different partners or going forward alone.
“And so as you can see, through all these generations the roles do change; they swing like a pendulum. The most important thing right now is (of course the way we always say) to remember you’re a spirit in a physical body, and you will experience both. How you experience it is entirely up to you because you create as you go along. Is that understood?”
(The formatting above throughout this post represents The Council’s comments during our session. Text [in brackets] in these quotations has been added to improve readability and clarity when this seems useful.)
The idea some things in life are ‘meant to be’ and others aren’t, is an interesting and somewhat popular one, particularly when it comes to relationships. Lots of people who wouldn’t ordinarily admit they believe in fate or destiny seem tolerant of the idea that in close personal relationships, things are sometimes meant to be.
In this post we look at The Council’s answer to questions from Chris about what’s meant to be in her life. Although Chris’s questions are about a meaningful relationship, The Council’s answer is a reminder that you create your reality, and their answer offers helpful guidance on how you can do this. Here’s Chris’s question:
“How do I know if I’m meant to be with someone?
“I am 51 years old, am still single, and want to finally stop waiting, working toward, or wondering if I am MEANT to be with anyone.”
“I was in two long-term relationships before, one of which I wanted to work out, but didn’t.
“Then I learned to be ok and fine alone, happy, and rarely longing for someone.
“But now I feel more alone, and was wondering if ‘my time’ was finally coming, or I am just not dealing with my reality?”
The Council’s Answer
“And so she says, is she meant to be with someone, and is her time coming?
“She is the one that will decide if she is meant. She is the one that will decide if her time is coming, because… why? [Because] we are spirit in a physical body and we create our reality.
“And so from what she says, she has experienced a relationship and she has experienced being alone. And so we think for her, she should look back at both situations and focus on what she found loving and pleasant in both situations.
“And so when she can appreciate being in a relationship, and being alone (being with herself and feeling the appreciation and the love [for that]), she will then bring in someone new, someone more on the same vibration that she would be on.
“And it would be more of a relationship that would work out because if she is feeling loving and appreciation, and brings someone of that vibration into her reality, it will be a long-lasting relationship.”
“First to raise her vibration, and once that is in the vibration of love and appreciation, she will (as they say, like attracts like) bring the perfect person in for her to have a life-long relationship, if that is what she wants.
“But we would like her to know that she is not running out of time. There is nowhere it is written that she is meant or not meant to be in a relationship.
“And so, with her thoughts, and with her feelings, and her focus, she will create what she wants.”
“And so when she can focus always on that [happy memories] instead of on the doubt and the worry that time is running out, it will completely change the vibration… and what she brings in.”
(Text [in brackets] in these quotations has been added to improve readability and clarity when this seems useful.)
This post is inspired by a request from Kali, who writes that her partner (father of her two young sons) didn’t physically survive a car crash a couple months ago. She adds that she can’t accept he’s gone, her pain is unbearable, she’s desperately trying to develop herself spiritually so she can connect with the love of her life, and she’d appreciate any guidance The Council can offer.
Do You Believe You are Spirit in a Physical Body?
On November 11, 2013 we did a session with The Council to see if we could get the guidance Kali requested. The Council began this session with the following comments:
“Well first we want to say he [Kali’s partner] hasn’t gone anywhere, he is just out of his physical body.
“You are stating you are desperate and trying to develop spiritually, so first we ask you to meditate on this question: Do you believe you are a spirit here, operating in this physical body? Because that is who you truly are.
“And spirit – which is light and energy – never dies; we transition. We choose to create physical bodies to come into this environment and when we are done, we leave the physical body. But there is no dying; there is no end to spirit. Is that understood?”
—The Council Continue reading
This post is a response to a question for The Council from Margot about a strained relationship she has with her twin brother. Margot says her question was inspired by a post on our blog that answers questions from a reader named Joe about a strained relationship with his children. On June 18, 2012 we did a session with non-physical spirit guides, The Council, to get their perspective on Margot’s question.
Margot’s question suggests she and her twin brother are 70+ years old and they’ve had a strained relationship most of their lives. She asks, “What is the purpose of both of us being from the same womb, sharing that very intimate space for so long, and living as ‘twin’ brother and sister only to live two very different emotional, physical and spiritual lives?”
Margot says she knows that The Council says in our post on Joe’s question that the purpose of all relationships is to bring the love we are as spirit into physical reality, but this guidance “just seems too vaporous and vague” for her to apply in a practical way to her relationship with her brother and she’d like additional input from The Council on this.
My Other Half
In the first part of Margot’s question she describes her twin brother as “my other half,” and The Council quickly offered the following comment:
Isn’t it interesting that someone would think that just by being a twin, the other one is their other half, and they are not whole and truly all that they need to be?
(Similarly formatted text throughout the post represents The Council’s comments during the session. Text [in brackets] was not spoken by The Council, but has been added to make it easier to follow the conversation.)
This post is inspired by several thought-provoking questions from Joe, who has a strained relationship with his two sons during a difficult divorce from their mother. Joe is familiar with The Council’s teaching that we come into this life with the intention of bringing with us the vibration of love, and that we sometimes pre-plan with other souls before we incarnate, to experience challenging human relationships so we can experience finding the love within ourselves that transforms these situations.
With this in mind Joe asks The Council how he can better understand the spiritual aspects of his role and his children’s role in their strained relationship. On Sunday, May 27, 2012 we did a session with The Council to answer Joe’s questions, and their answers are presented in this post. The highlight of this session for us is The Council’s insight that the people in our lives we find most aggravating are often acting in a way we asked them to as a spiritual being before we incarnated into this lifetime—for the purpose of inspiring us to bring more love into our physical reality.
Recorded Audio Content
Recently we invested in recording equipment that allows us to make recordings of our sessions with The Council that have a sound quality we feel comfortable making available in our blog posts. Where you see this image in the post, it’s an audio player that will play a recorded segment of our session. Typically the segment is related to the textual content that follows the player.
The text of the post is an abridged and edited version of our session with The Council. It is meant to provide a good sense of what we consider the most relevant aspects of the session. The recorded content is also abridged, but it’s a somewhat less edited version of the session. The recordings include some session content that’s been edited out of the written post to help it be more easily readable and understandable. It’s our hope that the audio segments help you connect more easily with the feeling of what The Council is talking about.
To play an audio segment, left-click on the triangle on the right side of the audio player. The clip name is displayed in the player and when the recording begins, the time left in the recording is also displayed. To stop the audio player, left-click on the icon that looks like this: . The volume can be adjusted by left-clicking on this icon: ; click on the right side to increase volume and the left side to lower volume.
The complete text of Joe’s comment and questions that inspired this post are not included in the post. You can read them by clicking here. The following audio clip is a recording of Bob reading Joe’s questions to the Council during our session. Copyright ℗ 2014 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
A Question from Sky
This post is a response to Sky’s question for The Council about how to find “the highest and most loving way to create harmony and balance in my new relationship.” Sky’s full question can be found here.
After reading Sky’s question to The Council, they expressed a desire to address it sentence by sentence to make sure they address each issue.
You Have Access to Higher Wisdom
The Council enjoyed Sky’s reference to them as “Beloved Council.” And they love that Sky is thankful for their higher wisdom, but they remind Sky and the rest of us that humans are spirit in a physical body and we have the potential to access the same wisdom, but we tend to forget we’re spiritual beings with this ability. The Council says it’s their desire to remind us of the wisdom we have within us, and they do this by “knocking us on the head a little bit, and opening the door of our heart a little bit” to help us access this wisdom within ourselves.
K’s Request for Guidance
This post is a response to K’s request for guidance from The Council on how she can tune into who she really is as a spiritual being so she can experience the purpose of her 22-year relationship with her husband, find her way beyond the pain of their ten years of marriage, and re-connect with the joy of their first eleven years together. Here’s a slightly edited version of K’s request:
“I need some guidance. Let’s see if I can express it a way that makes sense.
“I am in the first stages of getting divorced from a friend of 22 years (10 years married and the father of my son) who I quiet firmly believe came to my life (and I in his) because we had lessons to learn, debts to pay, other unfinished business…something like that.
“Somehow as I try desperately to move on, I often get the feeling that the lessons had to be learned and the challenges were/are there for growth and divorce need not be the solution, at least not after a lot has been cleared out recently.
“Is there a way I can tune in more to my real self, my soul, and remember what the purpose of this marriage was, and what my path ahead is beyond the pain? We both care for each other, but somehow…something that seemed flawless for 11 years before, never worked from the minute we got married. It almost got jinxed and we took turns in not being able to get out of negative thinking to face problems head on.
“Any thoughts on the mystery our life has been and some hints of where it needs to go for the two individual souls? Tall order…huh? Thanks a lot.”
The career of your choice:
All this and more
You knew you could create
In your physical experience.
You had no doubt
That everything you desire
Will come to you
By the power of your thought.
That your enjoyment of what you desire
In your imagination,
Will easily create it
In your world of matter and form.
This post is in response to a question from Diana about the idea that everyone creates whatever they desire. She’s read a lot on this subject and asks about the practical application of this idea for creating a relationship she desires. Diana particularly wants to know how this idea works if she focuses all her attention on being with a specific person, but this person is focusing all their attention in opposition to that and doesn’t want to be with her. She asks the logical question: How is it possible for both people to get what they desire if their desires are exact opposites?
What We Desire, We Create First in a Non-Physical Reality
The Council’s answer to Diana’s question provided Cynthia and me with some new insight and understanding into the process of getting what we desire. This understanding begins with the idea that when we have a desire for something, whatever we desire is immediately created in a non-physical, vibrational reality. In Diana’s example, The Council says her desire to be with this person (since a name or gender aren’t specified we’ll refer to this person with the letter A) instantly creates in a non-physical reality the experience that she is with A in every way she desires.
Given a choice, most of us probably prefer to experience our desired creations in our physical reality, not just a vibrational one. So the question is: how do we get our desired creation from a non-physical reality into our physical reality.
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