Recently we published a post titled, Whether to Leave an Abusive Relationship, answering Jolanda’s questions about her relationship with her husband. After reading that post Jolanda had some follow-up questions and the current post answers those questions.
Jolanda begins by saying she was inspired to ask her questions by listening to the teachings of Abraham and that prior to hearing these teachings she felt leaving her husband was her only option. But she’s heard Abraham repeatedly say something like the following:
“Don’t get out of a relationship until you can be strong and happy within yourself, no matter what is going on around you. If someone makes you go out of the Vortex, just get back in. Don’t let someone upset your ability to be happy and be in the Vortex.”
Jolanda says she resonates to this and realized her problem was really her difficulty being happy when her husband was unhappy. She adds:
“Abraham cautions that if we don’t get ourselves right before leaving a relationship, we’ll just get into the same type of relationship again and again, until we learn our lesson.”
Jolanda asks The Council’s opinion on this, considering their answers in the earlier post seemed to suggest it was her intention she find the strength to protect herself and her children by leaving her husband. She says:
“I know I haven’t learned how to be happy while others are unhappy, which is why I feel that my husband is the absolute best partner I could possibly have at this time, because he’s in my face every day, being unhappy with me, and pushing my buttons. What better way to learn to get happy no matter what is going on around me?”
The Council has a lot to say to Jolanda about her situation, but it boils down to the following quote:
“When you realize something is not bringing you joy (because that is what you are wishing to experience) then you have the ability to start making another choice, to start making a plan on how you would do this if you’re not ready to do this right now. But there is nowhere/anywhere where Abraham or any other spirit would say stay there if you are miserable. It’s like, stay there if you have to till you get the strength to make another choice.”
When the session was finished we did a Google search on “Abraham Hicks abusive relationship” to get Abraham’s views on this subject instead of Jolanda’s view of what Abraham was saying. What we came up with was a 7-minute YouTube video titled, “Is it time to leave?”, which we reproduce below. The woman speaking with Abraham is in a situation similar to Jolanda.
And while Abraham does emphasize the importance of working on yourself to improve your vibration before leaving a relationship so you don’t attract a similar relationship into your life, they add that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to take action. They say:
“The story we like best is: You’re sitting on a park bench and you’re feeling fear, and you don’t really know if there’s a monster in the bushes or if you just think there’s a monster in the bushes. And we say, in any event, move away from the monster.”
The Council appears to understand that Jolanda chose to be in this abusive relationship with her husband for the specific purpose of developing the strength in this lifetime to leave him and protect herself and her children. The Council adds more than once it’s Jolanda’s choice whether she actually leaves her husband on not, and they are merely reminding her of her pre-birth intention.
Listen to our entire 22-minute session with The Council (below) to hear Jolanda’s follow-up questions and The Council’s answers for her and anyone in a similar situation.
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named Jolanda who says it’s taken her a long time to realize her husband (who is the father and step-father of their children) is verbally and emotionally abusive to her and their stepchildren.
Jolanda asks if she’s right to stay with her husband and The Council says there was a pre-birth agreement they would come together in this lifetime. They see previous lifetimes where Jolanda had experienced a lack of courage and in this lifetime she desires to learn to be a protector of herself and her children. The Council adds that her children are part of this agreement and it’s their purpose to push Jolanda to become the protector she wants to be.
The Council asks if Jolanda feels it’s safe for her children to be around her husband, or is it time to move on to protect them. The Council says these questions are there to push her in the direction she wants to go. And they add Jolanda doesn’t need to grow any more to realize the relationship with her husband is an abusive one.
The Council says Jolanda’s spirit wants to experience the other side of the coin – the kind of partner she’d feel unconditional love with and feel her children are safe, growing, and happy. They say it’s her choice and the lesson to protect herself and her children is right in front of her.
Jolanda says it’s difficult to be yelled at, blamed, ignored, and devalued by someone who means the world to her. And The Council asks if she believes by staying in this relationship she’ll acquire the strength she needs and the love she wants.
The Council advises Jolanda to love herself and her children and put herself on a path where she experiences this, and to picture herself as strong and happy, having a loving partner and happy children.
The Council says if Jolanda stays in this relationship it will stay the way it is. This is the way she created this relationship – to stay this way until she finds the strength to change it.
Listen to the entire 11-minute session (below) to hear all The Council’s guidance for Jolanda.
This post is inspired by a question from a reader named Sujata who quotes the author, Anita Moorjani, and her advice to love ourselves. Sujata asks how we can love our self naturally, rather than force ourselves to think positively and suppress our negative thoughts.
The Council says we’re here on Earth to love our selves, but we are human and will experience human thoughts and feelings. They say there’s nothing the matter with thinking negative thoughts. They recommend acknowledging them rather than sweeping them under the rug, and trying to love the part of our self that thinks these thoughts. And they also suggest you look for ways to make these negative thoughts more positive.
The Council says it’s impossible to love ourselves without also loving others because we’re all connected. They suggest the way to improve your vibration is to practice sending love to others rather than just trying to love yourself.
Listen to the entire 7-minute recording of our session with The Council to answer Sujata’s question below.
This post is inspired by questions about a relationship from a reader who goes by the name Aquarius 4. He recently had a private phone session with us which brought up more questions that he’d like us to answer in a post.
Because Aquarius 4 discusses several different subjects that relate to material we discussed in our phone session, his comment can seem a little difficult to follow. The basis of his story is a problematic relationship with a woman in this lifetime that he’s experienced in other lifetimes.
Toward the end of our session with The Council they say Aquarius 4 won’t rid himself of this woman or the problems he’s experiencing with her in his current life. They are here to be experienced, The Council says. They say the connection with this woman is strong because the two of them have a spiritual desire to heal their relationship.
The Council advised Aquarius 4 he must take his focus off these past lives. They are there to provide information about what’s happened and what’s desired, but constantly focusing on what went wrong in those lives won’t fix the problems he’s having with this woman is his current reality.
The Council says to focus on what went right, no matter how brief it was, and focus on what he desires. When Aquarius 4 is able to create more of what he desires in his current lifetime, The Council says that’s when he’ll see change and feel more at peace.
The Counsel advises Aquarius 4 not to pressure himself to heal this relationship right now. They say healing will happen when they both feel safe and are able to look at the situations around them and overcome them.
At the end of our session The Counsel says Aquarius 4’s letter is full of questions and fear in the beginning, but by the end he sees himself handling and acknowledging things differently. They add that through this situation with this woman he has already begun to grow and is on the path he wants his life to be on.
The Council’s parting words are to be present, focus your mind, and feel your heart. They ask what Aquarius 4 has created in his reality and what he wishes to create? They advise seeing his situation as he wants it, feel the love, and he’ll bring this into his reality.
Listen to our entire 19-minute session with The Council below to answer Aquarius 4’s questions.
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