Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Questions About an Abusive Separated Husband

This post answers questions from a reader named, Jolanda, who says 18 months ago she ended an 8 year relationship with her verbally and emotionally abusive husband, but because they have a child together they communicate almost daily, which gives him opportunities to manipulate her emotions.

The Council doesn’t think it’s necessary to have contact with your husband almost daily. It’s something you need, but your husband doesn’t. Is this because you don’t want to let go of your husband? If this relationship is hurtful, why would you want to stay in it? You can co-parent a child without having daily communication with your spouse.

One of the lessons you’ve created for yourself in this lifetime is protecting yourself and learning how to make boundaries. The Council says they don’t see this boundary-making happening. There’s no need to punish yourself. If you can begin setting these boundaries you’ll feel a little more powerful and you’ll allow the relief and healing to come into your life.

The Council says they don’t see a reconciliation with the husband occurring at this time. Recognize him as a spirit on his own path and learning his own lessons. You feel the love for him because you recognize him as a spirit. Wherever he is on his path, you can love him and let him go, and make the boundary to protect yourself, and change your life to a more powerful and peaceful one.

Jolanda says she and her husband agreed a few weeks ago they weren’t getting back together and she feels betrayed that he’s apparently moved on with a new girlfriend. The Council asks Jolanda to find the energy to understand this agreement between the two of them. And if he changes his mind and says he wants to be with her again, can she make the boundary and say, “No. Enough. I can’t be in this type of relationship.” Instead of waiting to see where your husband is in this relationship, make your own boundaries. Think about how you’ll move forward and how you can get free from this relationship and find the happiness you wish for?

Jolanda says she’s pining for the love she had with her husband and wishing for someone else to love, but feels like she’ll never love anyone but her husband. The Council says the love she and her husband had isn’t there right now because there are lessons Jolanda needs to learn. Wishing for someone else to love is a wonderful direction to go in. Focus on this. What kind of person do you want in your life, down to every detail you can think of? And be ready to let this relationship in? When you can focus more on the new person you want in your life, things will change in this direction.

Jolanda says she feels her marriage was a divine bond and that she and her husband are deeply connected at a soul level. The Council says of course there’s a soul connection. This relationship was all agreed to in spirit so you could discover the role of independence, the role of boundaries in your life, the role of speaking up for yourself, and the role of learning how to protect yourself.

The Council closes by telling Jolanda: When you begin to love yourself enough to protect yourself; when your begin to believe there’s another way, and there’s more for you, and the soul who is your husband needs to go on with his lessons; when you begin to focus in a whole new direction on what you truly want in your life; The Council promises Jolanda her life will begin to change for the better.

Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you like this session, please consider clicking the Like button in the section below the recording to let us and our other readers know. Thanks.

October 7, 2018 - Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , , , ,


  1. Following!


    Comment by Wai | February 4, 2021

  2. It’s our pleasure, Jolanda. Good luck establishing boundaries and focusing on your new direction of what you truly want in your life. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | October 8, 2018

  3. Hi, Kristi. Thank you for your questions. We’ll ask The Council for insight into who you are, the reason you’re here, and your purpose as soon as we have time and we’ll post an audio recording of their response on our website as soon as it’s ready. Sorry to hear yesterday was a rough day for you. We hope our post helps you to have better days. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | October 8, 2018

  4. Thank you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Jolanda | October 8, 2018

  5. Hi Cynthia, Bob & Council,

    I wanted to ask an important question. Possibly the most important question that one could ever ask. Who am I, why am I here, and what’s my purpose? I often say to people that I “suffer” from existential misery. Because the questions I ask I can never find the answer to, at least in this lifetime. Constantly wanting answers to questions with no answers can be daunting and tiresome. That’s why they refer to it as a misery. So from time to time, I like to reach my hand out to non-traditional sources to gain insights normally not offered, like asking The Counsel.

    Today was a particularly rough day and I am finding myself at a place of discomfort. I’m simply requesting some guidance or peace of mind. I enjoy reading all of your information.

    Thank you in advance,
    Kristi Eison

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Kristi E. | October 7, 2018

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