Ask The Council

How Can I Help My Children?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, StrugglingMom, after she read our post, Is My Life Purpose to Save My Husband from Himself? StrugglingMom says, this post sparked a question about whether my purpose is to help my children, especially my oldest son, and to ask how I can do that.

The Council says your life purpose is all about you, not about saving other people. When you agreed to have these spirits come into this world through you, you agreed to allow them to come in to create the kind of reality they want. They already have in mind the lessons they want to learn, the challenges they want to work through, and if they want to be of help to other people. This is all set up within that spirit. Your purpose is to allow these spirits to come in and then let go and watch what they’re creating.

If there’s a way you can guide them to make their way a little easier, this is helpful, but your purpose isn’t to save your children from whatever they go through or to change whatever you think they’re going through. Your purpose is to give your children love and support in the gentlest way you know.

StrugglingMom asks, do my children and I share any past lives or lessons to learn because we have a difficult relationship and I’m struggling to be the mother my children need. The Council says one of the lessons here is about abandonment, which is what you and your oldest son experienced in another lifetime. In your current life you agreed to be together and work with each other through the difficult times you’re experiencing and not to abandon each other.

Look at what your oldest son is going through and find a way to have discussions with him. Give him guidance on how you think there might be an easier way to go through what he’s experiencing. Discuss what you think and the challenges you’ve gone through and how you worked through these challenges. It’s by your example and by teaching your son what you did to get through your experiences that give him a basis for how to work through his own stuff.

A lot of these children that are difficult and don’t follow rules are very advanced and want to grow up and make their own rules and change things. And they want to do this quickly. Sometimes these children are called Indigo Children because they know they have lots to do in their future, but they’re confused right now with the challenge of growing up under their parent’s rules.

You don’t need to let your son do whatever he wants if you believe it’s unsafe or mean. You can explain another way he can accomplish what he wants. The more discussion you have with your son, the better it will be. Discussion can help things turn around quickly. And by discussion we mean talking about each other and to each other, but not in a way your son is likely to experience as nagging.

Your purpose with your son is to listen to him, be supportive, and not get to the point where you’re so upset you do nothing and conversation stops. This is a form of abandonment. Your son wanted to learn how to be himself, whatever he chose to be in this life. No matter how he chose to be, you would be allowing and accepting, guiding him gently another way, not through punishment or abandonment, but through listening and relating back and forth.

The Council says StrugglingMom and her oldest son shared a past life together as brothers who had no family and they both felt abandoned. In his current lifetime your son wants to work through his abandonment issues and he wanted to have parents that were there to guide him.

StrugglingMom says, I don’t know whether to push him or just let him fail when he refuses to go to school or do schoolwork. Do I punish him and force control? Or do I just let him be, which makes me feel guilty because I feel like I’m taking the easy way out and not being his mother?

The Council says StrugglingMom’s guilt serves no purpose. As a parent you realize there are school requirements that need to be met. As your son moves through school even though he’s not interested in it, discuss with him why it must be done. When he goes to school or does his schoolwork you should praise him and this will give him more motivation to continue.

If your son’s path is difficult because this is what he’s creating, and if he fails and you know in good conscience that you’ve tried to put him on a path you feel has advantages, then his wanting to fail is part of what his spirit wants to experience. Your role is to do what you can as a parent to explain how your son’s education is something he needs to do to improve himself for when he grows up. If you can do this then you’re not abandoning him. If you throw your hands up and say I give up, and your son fails, your son will experience abandonment again. What your son hopes for, no matter what, is you don’t abandon him.

You can help your son heal his abandonment issues through patience and communication, and talking about yourself and what you’ve gone through. Talk about how it’s difficult to see your son not trying. And talking about how you’ll be there no matter what road he picks, whether he tries or whether he fails This will help.

Once your son understands you’re there for him no matter whether he succeeds or fails, instead of having to continue going through the lesson of abandonment, that lesson will be changed because you’re letting your son be the way he needs to be. In accepting and allowing your son, you also allow his lessons to change and allow him to heal.

By StrugglingMom agreeing to be part of these abandonment issues, if her son fails, how will this affect her? What does that bring up for her? There are also abandonment issues StugglingMom wants to learn about. StrugglingMom and her oldest son are handling abandonment in different ways. It’s like different ends of the same stick. The son at one end doesn’t want to be abandoned even though it’s a difficult situation. He wants to see what his mother will do.

On the other side of the stick is StrugglingMom. She doesn’t want to throw her hands up and give up, but at times she feels like it’s no use. Does she give up? Does she abandon her son? Both are facing issues of abandonment and they’re trying to help each other through these issues.

The Council says one of the hardest parts of being a parent is to allow these spirits to come in and then feel responsible for how their child creates its life. You are supposed to bring the child in and then allow it to be whatever it needs to be, and to be there for your child as they go through whatever issues they’re trying to work through.

Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for StrugglingMom and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.

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February 21, 2021 - Posted by Cynthia & Bob | Acceptance, Agreement, Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Guidance, Helping Others, Love, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | Abandonment, Allow, Communication, Discussion, Guilty, Indigo Children, Lesson Learning, Listen, Patience, Purpose, Support