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Why Do You Put Yourself In Hurtful Situations With Your Brother?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Wairua, in response to our post, “How Can I Heal My Relationship With My Brother?”

Wairua: Thanks for your answers. What you’re suggesting (in the previous post mentioned above) is what I’ve been trying to do for the past year or so, but in the last few months, every interaction I have with my brother seems like an opportunity for his wife or him to criticize me and make accusations against me through messaging.

Council: Well one of the things we’d like to ask you is, if this is such a difficult relationship and if you feel criticized all the time, then why do you go back into it? When you keep doing the same thing and you see it’s not changing, it’s not the correct way to move forward. It’s not a way to find a different way to handle this, or to be in this situation. So we would say, when you’re feeling hurt and criticized, we ask you, why do you keep doing it? Do you think maybe it would be okay to accept not bothering with your brother at this time? If you do something different, you’ll get a different reaction, even if it takes a while.

So do you have the ability to pull away? And there’s nothing wrong with that. And when there’s contact again, be open, and see if your brother is open to finding another way to find out his thinking on this. But it’s more now about you questioning why you put yourself in such a hurtful situation when there’s not only criticism from your brother, but also from his wife.

As we see it now, if you go on reacting in the same way, the situation will not change. So a newer way is to let him go and send him lots of love whenever you can. And allow him to learn the lessons with his wife that he has to learn going through this to come around to a different way of handling it, but to stay in an upbeat, happy vibration, knowing that this can change for you. You know you can feel better about this relationship, whether it’s to be out of it right now, or just out of it for a while, and staying in the vibration of happiness.

And of course we understand it’s very difficult to go through this, but you have to know here that what you imagine and what you keep thinking will create what you experience. So if you stay in the thought of feeling criticized, feeling hurt, and of not having a relationship, it will stay like that. So it’s your duty to change the thought. And the thought would be, let me step away from this. Maybe he’ll find a way to want to speak with me. Maybe he’ll miss me if I don’t keep calling and going through this criticism. It’s about you. Part of what you experience is by making boundaries and of appreciating yourself.

And no matter what goes on around you, stay in a higher vibration. When someone is in anger, when someone is being mean, they can’t reach you when you are in happiness. When you aren’t seeing your relationship changing, when you are seeing it getting better, and feeling it, that lower vibration can not reach you. It must change in your reality, and that is the key. What you need to focus on now is to make a decision, feel good, and just let it go for now. And with your thoughts, and with your feelings, keep creating the way you want your life to be. And know, to really know, this can change, but I must take the steps to handle the situation differently. When I handle things differently it must change.

Wairua: The relationship between me, my brother, and his wife has become so toxic that I feel I can no longer have anything to do with him because every conversation or interaction with him, however nice and pleasant, always comes back to bite me on the butt with false accusations, insults, backstabbing, attacks, judgments, and sometimes downright harassment.

Council: So listen to what you have just explained. Why would you want to stay in that? You can change it.

Wairua: Any kind of interaction with him at this stage has become dangerous for my mental health. So recently I’ve almost completely cut them out of my life in order to keep myself safe from the games my brother’s wife is playing. I haven’t found a way to have a relationship with my brother without his wife being there eavesdropping, interfering in some way, and finding a way to attack me.

Council: The way to have a relationship now is to have it differently. To have the relationship you want in vibration. Create it in vibration. Pretend, and see, and feel the way you’d like it to be. When you start it off in vibration, it must change. And that is how you change it. That is how you have the vibration with him right now. You have it with the good thoughts, with love, and seeing it be the way you want.

Wairua: The only way I know how to deal with this is to have nothing to do with them at all.

Council: That’s fine for right now, but you will have everything to do with him right now in vibration.

Wairua: Having nothing to do with them hurts and isn’t what I want, but I haven’t found any way to protect myself and keep myself safe while still having a relationship with him.

Council: And so instead of thinking of, this hurts, this relationship I can’t have, you change the thought to, I’m so happy, I’m so excited when we get along again, and I’ll create it in my thoughts, and have it that way for now.

Wairua: Do you have any other suggestions? Thanks again.

Council: Start building what you want in vibration. You will definitely see the change.

Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Wairua and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time. For the time being you don’t have to attach your name to the comment, but there have been a lot of anonymous comments lately and it can be confusing for us to keep track of these. It would help us if you made up a name rather than using no name.

If you prefer to keep your comment private, you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.

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February 1, 2024 - Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Questions & Answers, Relationships

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