What Is The Source Of My Mood Swings, Anger, And Rage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: I continue to go through a major shift in perception. I feel as though I’m learning so much about life, self-healing work, etc. However, while trying to heal, I’ve yet to understand my mood swings and the source of my anger and rage.
Council: This happens now at a time in your reality where many people are dealing with emotions: anger, happiness, depression, and feeling very uplifted. It’s the time with a mass agreement for people to go through this because it will take your planet, your reality, to a higher level.
And so it’s important right now to pay attention to your feelings. Do not fear them. Let your feelings come up and then always try to focus the energy of love on every emotion. You’ll begin to feel different. It’s a way you’ll learn to control your emotions. Accept them when they come, acknowledge them, and then always put the stamp of love on each emotion.
And so follow the ups and downs that your higher self is showing you and you’ll move forward and you’ll learn much more about your life and purpose here. You’ll have more confidence and we can guarantee you’ll move forward.
Elizabeth: I want to learn to control my anger and rage, and how to release it in a healthy way.
Council: Not so much to control it, but to let it come and then say to yourself, “Anger is here again. Anger is paying me a visit. What does it remind me of? What could it be that causes this anger? Is it here just for me to change it?” And many times that’s the reason. It just comes up and you need to do the work where you don’t say, “Go away.” You say, “Hello, anger. You’re part of this life, but now we’re going to make you feel better.”
And you’ll put love and pink light all over yourself and all over the thought of anger. Try to picture what it looks like. What shape does it have? Put pink light on it and you’ll see and learn many things. Just accept it.
Elizabeth: I realize anger is disguised sadness. It seems so ingrained in me and comes at times I don’t even understand. Is it a loss of control?
Council: Of course it’s loss of control, but it comes from other lifetimes which aren’t important to delve into. Just know: Okay, I’m carrying this, I created this in spirit to be happening so I could learn how to change it.
Elizabeth: If it is loss of control, where did I learn the need to want it, and the fear of losing it?
Council: In other lifetimes when there was loss of control, when there was too strenuous a life for you, when there was no ifs or buts, you wanted things a certain way and they wouldn’t happen. And so you bounced around each side of the coin. What does it feel like to have control? What does it feel like not to have control? It doesn’t matter when this happened. Only that you look at it now and you think: Okay, these feelings, they may be coming from other times, they may be coming now only because I’ve asked it to come forward so I could heal it.
Elizabeth: If the anger and sadness are from childhood trauma, what’s the event I need to look at to understand and allow myself peace and grace?
Council: There’s nothing in your current particular life you need to look at. What you called forth is feelings from other lives. You called forth the lesson to learn how to change these feelings. And many, many in your reality want to learn how to work with their mind on a great scale to change things. And that’s why the feelings are so powerful. It’s now on a great scale all over your reality, people trying to learn how to work with their mind because that’s how you create.
Elizabeth: I know love is the answer…
Council: Yes it is.
Elizabeth: …yet sometimes the rage consumes me. Can you help?
Council: Feel your rage, say hello to it, get ahold of your thoughts, your mind, and say, “I’ve created this because I want to learn how to become more of the spiritual person I am, and I’m now going to infuse this thought and this feeling with love. And I’ll do it with my mind.
Happiness and blessings to everyone. Enjoy yourself. Find your power. Every day create happiness, even if it’s for the littlest thing because when you’re in that vibration, you’ll be able to bring into your life at any time what will give you happiness on a longer basis. So have fun with it.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Elizabeth and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What Can I Do About My Problems With A Work Colleague?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, A Frustrated Worker.
Frustrated: I have a question about a work scenario. I’ve had a special and intricate working relationship with a colleague for nearly a decade. While they have an anxious disposition, they were always supportive and followed through when it counted. But for the last few years they’ve really let me down. There have been delays after delays, they’ve continuously moved deadlines, put other peoples’ work before mine, told little white lies, dismissed my feelings about the work being delayed, and this sort of thing.
Council: Why have you stayed in that situation for a couple of years? It’s a situation that’s presenting itself to you. When you look at it, it makes you turn and look at yourself for the growth to see why you stay in that situation when everything is showing you that it’s not working and there is a problem here.
Frustrated: It’s left me in a very tricky situation. I recently had to confront them. They took offense and it looks as though our working relationship may be over.
Council: Taking this step and confronting them is good. When they take offense you have to realize either it’s something they’re going through or it’s something to do with their thinking. When it goes that far it’s very plain for you to follow your feeling. It can’t be comfortable being in this. Your feelings, which is your higher self’s way of talking to you, is saying, “It was good, but now it’s time for a change. And the change comes because you are ready for growth.
Frustrated: Separating the work we’ve done together and the work I have planned for us will be like undressing a salad. And because the work they do is very excellent and idiosyncratic, I can’t see who I’d replace them with.
Council: It’s time, when you make the salad and you make the same dressing for many years, that you tire of it, or your taste buds want something new. So now it’s time to dress your salad with something new.
Frustrated: Can this relationship be saved, or am I supposed to let this go?
Council: There’s nothing to save. It was wonderful. Hopefully all involved have learned from it and now have different paths to travel, and this includes yourself. There’s nothing to save. You’re supposed to follow your feeling and get excited about something new that you can bring into your life. And you do this by writing it down, thinking over and over about the new people that could come into your life, and the way you want it to be. So you start that inner work and you begin to bring in the new people.
Get yourself in a happy mood and excited mood where you’re thrilled to be going forward. When you do that you must bring in these new people. Make up your mind instead of thinking, should I try and fix it, should I hold on? If you make up your mind to move forward, there’s a new path, there are new things to learn, and there are new people to bring into your life. Once you start imagining that, making that your intention, these people will definitely come along.
Bob: Just to be clear, to answer the question, “Am I supposed to let this person go?” The answer is, yes?
Council: That’s what’s happening around you. It’s pointing to that. Is your higher self showing you this? And you feel the loss of the relationship. You feel it’s not working. You know they’re putting you off and putting others before you. The answer is so simple. You can hang on to this relationship, but it won’t get better. You can try to create it, but why would you want to create this where your feelings are pushing you to move in another direction?
Frustrated: What would I have to do to save this relationship, or how do I find their replacement?
Council: If you want to save this, then you would see these people understanding what you’re saying, you’d see them wanting to work with you and put your work first, and coming through for you. You can see that. You can create this.
And yet we must say here that even if you create this for a while, what you’ve created in spirit is that now it’s time to move on.
Frustrated: Are there other souls who are lined up to take the place of this person if they decide with their free will to leave?
Council: Definitely, but it’s your work to call it in, to imagine it, to see it, to be open and excited about this wonderful new part of your journey.
Frustrated: Why did this happen? Is there a higher purpose for why this has occurred?
Council: Of course there’s a higher purpose. It’s your higher self that wants to go forward, that you’ve planned in spirit other things you want to do. So of course there’s a higher purpose, and guess who created it? You did. You created it in spirit. Remember that you are a spirit, that you create everything that happens, and move towards what you want.
Bob: It sounds like you’re saying that the higher self of A Frustrated Worker has created one direction and the higher self of the colleague maybe created another direction.
Council: Everyone has created their own direction. What’s important here is the direction you want to go in. How does it feel in the situation you are in? Is it satisfactory to you? Does it bring you joy? If not, follow your feelings. There’s something new, there’s something different. These other people have created what they want and they’ll go in their direction. And so it’s just for you to accept and let flow what’s being presented to you.
Frustrated: I’d really appreciate your insight, as I feel I’m in complete limbo at the moment.
Council: Imagine what you wish for. Start creating with your mind. It’s a wonderful time to do this.
Happiness and blessings to everyone. Enjoy yourself. Find your power. Create happiness every day, even if it’s the littlest bit, because when you’re in the vibration of happiness, you’ll be able to bring into your life at any time what will give you happiness on a longer basis. So have fun with this.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for A Frustrated Worker and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Have I Met The Person I’ll Marry After My Husband Passed?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Momof3, and is in response to our post, Do I Have A Twin Flame, Not A Soulmate?
Momof3: This topic of twin flames and soulmates has been something that’s intrigued me. I’ve often wondered if my late husband is my twin flame or soulmate. I was inseparable from him, but he passed away. I still feel connected with him spiritually and energetically, and it overwhelms me sometimes.
Council: Of course you’re still connected. Just because someone passes into spirit and one is back in the physical reality, there’s no break in the connection.
And so you want to know if this was your soulmate. We’d say, yes, because this soul and you have chosen each other as mates in this particular lifetime. Any two people that come together are soul mates. You decide to spend this life together, or part of this life together, and work things out together. And so you are mates.
We realize many in the physical world think there’s something wonderful, that they must find the one, the soulmate. Anyone you have a relationship with is a soul that’s mated to you for whatever length of time you decide. And so we’d say, yes, and enjoy that, and enjoy the connection you still have with your husband.
Bob: In a recent post you clarified the difference between the terms, twin flame and soulmate.
Council: Yes. This relationship with her husband was not a twin flame. He was another spirit.
Momof3: I’m sure we had a soul contract or past lives together, or maybe I’m just believing these things to have answers and cope with losing him.
Council: The soul contract you speak of is just an agreement that we’ll go into the physical reality and this is what we plan.
Momof3: But since my husband passed, I’ve met other men and had relationships, and I also feel connected to those men. I guess they’ve all come into my life to teach me something. Are they all my soulmates also, or is there just one?
Council: They are soulmates also. They’ve come in to give you the feeling of love that you feel you’ve lost with your husband passing on. And so it’s just a way to experience love. Different ways are available with different people, and that is all agreed upon.
Momof3: I was told that my late husband wasn’t the one I’d spend my life with and that my true soulmate or twin flame would come after him.
Council: There’s such an emphasis in your reality about this true soulmate. We’ll say again, anyone that you’re in a relationship with is a soulmate. So yes, it’s true you didn’t spend this entire reality with your husband. There will be others. There will be as many as you wish to create. You can get tired of creating many other mates, and then you may create the one that fills your desire for what you want a soulmate to be. And that’s how it works.
Momof3: Of course I never thought that would be true and I’d lose him.
Council: Nothing has been lost. It’s important to remember that. The connection is there and you can still speak to your husband and he’ll speak to you. You only need to be quiet and to believe, and you’ll see the answers.
Momof3: I wonder if I’ve met this person I’d marry now.
Council: We don’t see that yet. And yet if someone comes along and you really want this person to be your forever partner, you can create it that way. It’s so important to remember that you are the creator.
So as you go about your life and the people you pull in to meet, see which one fits perfectly to what you want. And then you’ll create that reality that you’ll be together, and how long you’ll be together.
Momof3: I’ve had a love relationship that recently ended, and I’m trying not to get involved in another one too soon.
Council: It’s all up to you.
Momof3: But I feel like there are connections with people I meet. In particular, there’s a man I’m dating, I’ll call him, J, but I don’t want to make the same mistakes of past relationships.
Council: There’s no rush. Take your time. Enjoy this relationship. See it the way you want it. Focus on the way you want it to be, and that is what you’ll create.
Momof3: I do believe all these friendships and meetings are to teach me something and help me heal, and for me to help J, as well.
Council: It’s to teach you that you are the creator.
Momof3: In helping J, I feel healing, but I feel that I’m searching for my soulmate and I feel incomplete.
Council: That’s because of the belief you have. So now remember that anyone who comes into your life can fit the bill of being your soulmate. And while no one is perfect, whoever comes into your life, there’s always some sort of agreement, I will teach you this, you will teach me that. We’ll go through certain things.
And so, do not expect the perfect soulmate to be a perfect physical human being. That’s not what you’re here for.
Bob: How would you address this feeling that Momof3 has about feeling incomplete?
Council: Because many come into this reality with the belief – and they are here to change this belief – that they are not complete, that you have to have the soulmate to be complete, that you have to have the twin soul to be complete. That isn’t true. You are complete. You are everything that you have ever been in every life. Every answer that you need to every question is within you.
The way to create whatever it is that you want in this life is up to you. You can change it day by day by what you want. And just by focusing on it the life around you will change. It’s all up to you. No one will come along and do it. It’s all up to you.
Bob: So it sounds like you’re saying that the feeling Momof3 has that she’s incomplete comes from a belief that she needs someone outside of herself to complete her. And it sounds like you’re suggesting that’s not true.
Council: Exactly.
Momof3: Then there’s my oldest son. We’re so alike, but we also butt heads a lot. I feel like he hates me and loves me, and it’s a difficult relationship. Is he from my past lives? And does he have to work out things with me from these past lives?
Council: Yes, you know your son from before, but what’s going on now is that you’re here to learn that you have given birth to this soul. You have agreed to bring this soul into this reality. You’ve only agreed to give him entry. You do not control him. You don’t own him. You’re here to watch how he grows, to learn from what he goes through, and to be as understanding as you can.
The way to love him is to let him be himself. Yes, there are times your child will hate you. There are times your child will love you. But when you show love and you allow this child to be whatever he needs to be, and to work on whatever he needs to work on, it will all turn around. And because you show love and acceptance, you’ll receive that same love and acceptance.
Momof3: How can I have a loving relationship with him, or do I just let him be and concentrate on myself?
Council: Of course let him be, but show him love. Show him when you’re disappointed, when you feel maybe his actions are hurtful, but allow him to be. And whenever he does something you don’t approve of, we would end the conversation with the words: I love you, and I’ll allow you to go through whatever you need to go through. Those words will change so much.
Have patience. Just remember you’re not here to control. You’re not here to boss this person around and have things done the way you want. Watch him with curiosity. What is he learning? What is he going through? And what am I learning from it? There’s great growth on both parts when you can look at things this way. And all will be well.
Momof3: Maybe I’m just trying to find answers to feelings and emotions I feel towards men that I can’t explain. Maybe it’s just me being lonely and simply wanting to be loved and to love like it was with my husband. But I feel lost and confused, and I feel like I’m constantly searching for my other half.
Council: You are your other half. What we wish you to do now is to focus on what it is that you want, and know that you can have this.
Momof3: I try to hold back my emotions and feelings because I know I’m vulnerable and just looking to be loved like I was with my husband.
Council: And so your thoughts would be: I am strong. I am a creator. I had a wonderful time with this person that was my husband and I want more of it. And so now I’ll create it. Now I’ll bring someone else in.
You are not lost. You are not a victim. You are now a creator. Think of what we just said, how the feeling is so much different from the way you think about your situation. Come from a place of power and know you can do this.
Momof3: But it’s difficult because I feel when I don’t listen to my heart and emotions, I feel anxious, unbalanced, and overwhelmed.
I’d love to know if I’ve already met the person I was told I’d eventually marry, and who it is, or his name.
Council: You have not finished creating yet.
Momof3: Or if that was something just made up.
Council: We ask you to focus. Do not go so much from what others tell you, but know yourself. We can say over and over again, you are the creator. Picture it. Feel the way you want your life to be. Picture yourself married again and having a wonderful life. See it. Every time you can, see it and feel it, and it has to come to you. But you must take this place of power and understanding of who you really are and make this happen, because you can.
Listen to the entire 17-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Momof3 and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of your blog pages.
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What Was My Past Life In Lemuria Like?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, A Lemurian.
Lemurian: I was told in a past life reading that I was a healer from Lemuria, and I’m a Pleiadian. I was also told I had a twin flame relationship with someone in the Pleiades who lives on Alcyone (a star in the Pleiades). I’d like to find out more about this and what my life was like in Lemuria.
Council: In Lemuria the teachings were about healing, oneness, honoring each other, and meditation. You learned how to use your mind to exist and to create what you needed. There was a peaceful atmosphere and there were always positive thoughts. There were times when you’d get together in groups and meditate in temples. And you taught little children about energy and thoughts.
The healing you performed wasn’t so much physical, but with your mind. When you experienced things that were upsetting or things that caused you to be anxious, you knew in that life how to change this, what to meditate on, and what part of the body to focus on. That’s the healing you did in Lemuria.
Lemurian: What was my family like in Lemuria?
Council: Everyone was family in Lemuria. That’s how they existed. Everyone worked together. Everyone learned from each other and cared for each other. There was the experience of unity and oneness. Have you created that here with your family? With your friends? In Lemuria that brought you great joy.
Coming in at this time in your current lifetime, because of what’s going on, in spirit you chose to come here now and to learn again how to focus, how to be positive, and how to be one with your family and friends.
We suggest that in your meditations or quiet time, you go with the elements of nature. That would feel familiar to you. Go within your heart and find that peaceful feeling that you had in Lemuria. It’s there. When you find it and you experience that oneness, that feeling of love for everyone that you’ve created in your life, you wanted to share that feeling and show it, not so much in what you say, but in how you treat yourself and others.
Lemurian: Can I meet my twin flame in my next lifetime, and what was he like?
Council: Your twin flame can be met in your next lifetime if that’s what you want. And because you’re in the midst of creating it, you’ll pick the way you meet, how important that person is in your life, if that person stays with you, or if that person comes into your life only for a while. Will this person turn out to be a parent or a teacher, or a friend? You’ll create that.
You can begin now by thinking about how you’ll want the relationship to be. With your thoughts, see how your meeting will be and live it now. Go into those thoughts and experience them and feel them as if you’re living them now, and you’ll draw them to you.
But wanting to meet this twin soul will come about if, when you create that life, you want that to be. You may want that now instead of in the next life. It’s all up to you.
Lemurian: Can The Council give me any information regarding this twin flame?
Council: Take that feeling of being positive, and no matter what you face and what you experience, when you focus on these feelings, you’ll bring them to you now and your life will improve. The feelings within you will exist with more happiness with what you create. Take all of that and use it in this lifetime. And when others see your attitude becoming gentle and having an acceptance of everything that happens, that’s how you’ll teach others in your current lifetime.
We send you all blessings, and all the wonderful thoughts that would help you, and the positive thoughts and the feelings that come with them. We send you the love that’s within you that you can experience at any time when you focus on your heart and ask for signs of who you really are. And when you do this, you’ll experience more joy and more love in your life.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for A Lemurian and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Is Mom’s Dog, Waylon, Our Deceased Dog, Papi?
This post answers questions for a reader named, Virgo Rising.
Virgo Rising: A few months ago I asked The Council about my deceased dog, Papi, and whether or not he’d reincarnate again to either me or my Mom. You confirmed that he’s come back to my Mom before, and that my Mom’s childhood dog, Tippy, was Papi’s spirit. But you didn’t know what his current plans were, and if he was going to come back to either of us again.
Council: At this time he won’t return to you. There’s a new dog in this environment. These little souls are trying to teach you what you wanted, which was to see love everywhere.
It’s wonderful to think or hope that when a dog comes it’s a reincarnation of another dog we’ve had. But what you’re not seeing here is that it doesn’t have to be a reincarnation for a dog to be loving and to have similar personalities. The lesson for these dogs is to bring love in. They want to be accepted for the way they are.
There are new animal spirits that want to come to you and your mother and be part of your lives. And they want to teach you to open up and to love other animals that you haven’t had before. Love is a great thing. These animals are here to teach you to love who they are and to know they’re different. Isn’t it wonderful to have more spirits come to you? Animals that want to be loved, want to teach you to love, and there doesn’t have to be any ties to them being with you before.
Virgo: Since I asked that question about Papi, my Mom got a new puppy named, Waylon. She swears that Waylon is either Papi or another dog she had in her current lifetime because of the strong connection she has with him. I’m not as convinced this puppy is Papi reincarnated because Waylon’s personality is nothing like Papi’s personality.
Council: Sometimes when a dog comes back they have completely different personalities, but we would say this is not Papi reincarnated. Waylon is brand new to you and your mother.
Virgo: My Mom says she thinks it could be Papi though because Tippy and Papi’s personalities were different, yet they ended up being the same spirit.
Council: Can you love animals with different personalities? They don’t have to be the same. Can you give love to new spirit animals that come to you? That’s the choice. That’s the lesson here.
Virgo: My question is: Is Waylon, Papi reincarnated.
Bob: And you said he’s not.
Council: Correct.
Virgo: And if he’s Papi, does he remember the life he had before with me and my Mom when he was Papi? Or do dogs lose their memories of their previous lives when they incarnate the same way humans do?
Council: When some animals come back to families, they remember. The bond is so strong that the human spirit and the animal spirit will choose to experience each other again. But like humans, many animals just come in, and they come in with love, to show love, and to receive love.
Virgo: If Wayon isn’t Papi, is he another dog or pet that either of us knows from this lifetime?
Council: (laughing) No, he’s not Papi. Waylon is new. Show him love.
Virgo: If Waylon’s not Papi, is there a way to manifest Papi reincarnating again because both of us miss him very much?
Council: Focus on the new spirit. With your mind you can put it out there that past dogs would come back, but that’s not what you wished to do in this lifetime. There are so many animals that need homes and that need love. Can you appreciate what you had in these past animals that you’ve had and allow them to move on? Perhaps they can become more than an animal if that’s where they are.
Can you open your heart to the new ones? This is all about growth. This is all about expanding the love. It’s always good to give a home to an animal that needs it. It’s good for you. The animal will bring out many positive things in you. And it’s certainly good for the dog. The lesson here is expansion.
You don’t need to go backward. You need to move forward. Expand the love to other souls. The animals you’ve had in the past will be around you. They never go far. The lesson here is to expand.
Virgo: It’s weird, but I almost feel like Papi is more than an animal. I feel like he’s part of me and my Mom’s soul group. I even had a dream once where a guide told me Papi was part of my oversoul. I don’t know if that’s true or not. Maybe I interpreted the dream the wrong way, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he was because he never felt like just an animal. He feels more like a human, as crazy and ridiculous as that sounds.
Council: At this point focus on the future. Focus on moving forward. Focus on expanding. The love you’ve received from these animals before is still with you, and they are still with you.
What you need to understand is these little souls want you to move forward and want you to help other little souls that come to you. That is your purpose. Your purpose was to experience strong connections and strong feelings of love. Now pass it on.
There was a movie named, Pay It Forward. Take what you’ve received and now look for others that need your love. Pay it forward.
And so we send you blessings in every area that you need them. And we remind you that you all are a blessing in your current reality.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Virgo Rising and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Will My Children Ever Feel Good In School?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Kati.
Kati: Dear Council, please help. Will my children ever feel good at school? My 10-year-old struggles academically due to attention issues, but does great socially, though the environment is lively and distracting, which doesn’t help his attention issues.
Council: First we’ll like to say this child is an Indigo child, and the attention problem the school would see is because he’s very curious and will get bored easily. Subconsciously the Indigo children know they have great things to do and to change when they are here. That’s what’s going on with that child right now.
This is nothing to worry about. Don’t fall into the system’s way of thinking there’s something wrong with him. Indigo children learn at their own pace. They make friends when they’re ready. They’ll search for the right kind of people, they’ll search for the right kind of information, and they don’t want to waste their time. This is part of what an Indigo child goes through.
There’s no need to worry here. You’ll see by watching this child what motivates him, what his interests are, and how he works through his problems.
Kati: My 8-year-old struggles socially, hasn’t made a good friend in school in three years, hates going to school, but does great academically.
Council: Do you see the opposites with these two souls? They’ve agreed to come in and they know each other from one or more previous lives. They’d be examples to each other so that one would learn from the other, and learn how to balance themselves out. It’s a wonderful path they’ve chosen to come on.
There’s a learning process for you, but they’re here to definitely help each other to be examples. As they get older they’ll figure out what they want. There could be a time when one is jealous of the other, but that’s fine. The relationship will evolve. They’re here to be examples and to help each other in their current reality.
Kati: We are considering switching schools to a small private religious school, though we’re not of that faith, or homeschooling, but those are upheavals as well. Is it worth the financial strain to send them to private school?
Council: No, not at all. They’ll still have their issues to face. And why disturb what they’re going through now, where they’d have to start again with the feelings, and being bored, or not having friends. It’s to your children’s benefit that you do not change their schooling habits and where they learn.
Kati: Would my children be happy doing homeschooling?
Council: That wouldn’t help either.
Kati: In addition to feeling like we’re constantly struggling with their individual school issues…
Council: And that’s understood, but just sit back and watch, and encourage them in any way you can.
Most of all it’s important that your children feel accepted no matter how they are, and to feel loved by you. Show your children love. Show your children acceptance. These are tools that will help them grow.
Kati: Mass shootings in the news make me fear that school is no longer a safe place for kids.
Council: And at this point it isn’t safe. But in your current reality, all of this is happening because a great change is wanted. All the souls here have allowed this to come in to learn from it and take their power. And parents, as well as all adults, have a lot of power that they’re looking to find right now, and to change the circumstances into the kind of world that’s wanted.
Every single soul that’s in this reality at this time came in to find out whatever the problem is, and to face these problems in large groups, or individually, and to change these problems and bring love into every situation.
But we do understand your fear. Meditate on things being wonderful. Meditate on how you’d like things to be. See that in your mind. Focus on that.
You’ll find that thoughts are very powerful. Stay in the positive.
Kati: The whole topic of school feels so intense and it’s been a struggle for four years. Do you have any insights as to why we’ve struggled so much, and if there’s a better option for our family? I don’t want to live in fear anymore, and I don’t want to be weary of the subject of school anymore.
Council: As crazy as this may sound, you did choose to experience fear, and so did everyone else in your current reality. Either you fall victim to this fear, or you use your mind and your energy to not accept this fear.
Now focus on what you want. When you focus, the vibration changes, and then everything around you changes. That’s how your current reality works.
Do the work. Go inward. Focus. Visualize, and you’ll see the change begin.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kati and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Help Me With My 3-Year Relationship With A Lying Drug Addict
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Carovana.
Carovana: I’m in a 3-year relationship with a drug addict, but the real problem is that he constantly lies.
Council: What have you learned about this drug addict and his lying? How do you handle this? Are you trying to change this person? You can’t do that. Can you be more understanding? Yes, you can understand, but there’s a time when you need to just watch this person and let them be who they are and then decide what you’ll do with this knowledge.
Carovana: He wants to appear different from what he really is, what he really does, and what he thinks. He twists facts and reality for his own benefit, and no matter how smart I am, he continues to try and deceive me.
Council: Are you tiring yourself out by trying to show this person you’re really smart and you know what he’s doing? We’d suggest you just let this person be, and then decide if you want to be around him. That’s all. You won’t change this person.
Carovana: I developed panic attacks due to the frequent state of restlessness and anxiety in which I’m thrown by his behavior, and we constantly fight. He doesn’t act this way solely to cover his drug abuse. His game spreads much wider and deeper. He’s also obscenely incoherent. His words go South and his actions go North.
Council: You can stay with this man if you can understand how he is and not believe what he says. Offer love and understanding. But to be in the relationship and saying to yourself, “I must show him that I know what’s going on, I must show him that I’m smart,” that’s not the purpose of this relationship.
The purpose of this relationship is to allow someone to be. It’s for you to allow others, and not just this person, but look at the years when you were growing up with your friends and family. Did you allow them just to be and then learn from it? And did this allow you to be just as you want to be, being in a place of love and peacefulness? Can you do that for yourself?
This was your mission, so to speak, in your current lifetime. Just to accept everyone and what they’re doing, and sending love and light to them to help them grow. But not to forcefully try to show them, “I know what you’re doing. You can’t fool me,” and tire yourself out. It’s just the purpose of being there, and most of all, just being yourself. That’s what this relationship is supposed to teach you.
When you see that someone is really one way and pretending to be another, do you do that? Do you do that to please people and to have them think of you differently? It’s a mirror effect. And so we say, just allow.
Carovana: The reason I stayed in this relationship so long is that another side of him, very prominent, is that he’s incredibly loving and sweet. He chose me as the woman of his life, tells me I’m the woman of his dreams, and is extremely attached and devoted to me. It’s almost morbid. This makes it really difficult to break up with him and in fact, all my attempts have failed. I’m also in a very lonely phase of my life so I lack the social support and the favorable environment that would make it easier to move on.
I can’t explain or comprehend this duality in him. He lost his mother when he was nine years old, but it’s not a good excuse to act this way now that he’s 36 years old. I hope The Council can shed some light on him, on us, and on me. I’d be very thankful.
Council: There are lessons for this man to learn, starting with his childhood and moving into adulthood. Not feeling safe enough for him to be who he really wants to be, he doesn’t know how, the role model wasn’t there, and the understanding of just being wasn’t there. Instead he chose to pretend because there’s no acceptance of himself.
With you there, if you can accept this man the way he is, you are the role model. You’re the role model by setting your boundaries, by not believing everything that’s said, but by understanding that everything that’s said is out of fear and nonacceptance of yourself. Once you can do that and not knock yourself out to understand it or change this person, it will change, because now you’re looking at it differently. And when you look at something differently, it will change.
See the relationship the way you want it to be. First concentrate on yourself. Accept yourself, and then look around you, and not at just this person, but others that come in and out of your life. And when you learn you have choices, you have the ability to bring into your life what you want. When you focus on that, it must happen.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Carovana and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What Can You Tell Me About The Tension In My Husband’s And Son’s Relationship?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Kristi, after she read our post, Why Don’t I Have A Good Relationship With My Mother?
Kristi: Great post on family dynamics. This raises a couple questions of my own that I’d like to ask The Council.
My husband and I have a great relationship and we’ve been married 20 years this November. My husband treats me like any woman would ever want to be treated, and I have almost no complaints in this department. I’m so very thankful for him.
We have one child together, a son who’s 18 years old. My husband’s and my son’s relationship is a strained one, unfortunately. My husband sets extremely high standards for our son, which are often unattainable. And even if they were attainable, my husband wouldn’t be happy then either. I feel like my son could wrangle the moon and my husband wouldn’t care.
When standards aren’t met, a child often feels like they’re not good enough and I see this playing out before me. My son is a sweet guy, very smart, and stays out of trouble, but he has low self-esteem.
My husband makes no attempt to foster a close relationship with our son. We all live together in the same house, but my husband and son can go without talking to each other for weeks at a time. And when they do talk to each other, it’s usually my husband telling my son what he hasn’t done properly.
Council: This is so wonderful. We have such advice for you. We see it so clearly.
Your husband and son were husband and son in a previous lifetime. In that lifetime they were wonderful together. Whatever your son did, your husband praised him. Everything was okay and everything went along beautifully.
At the end of that life, your son said to his dying father, “I wish I could have done more. I wish you would have pushed me more so that I could have given you more, and so that I could have become more in this lifetime.”
And so, in the wonderful past life they experienced together, both wished they had done more. Your son wished he’d become more. Your husband wished he didn’t settle for what your son was in that past life, and he wished he did push your son more.
So going back into spirit they asked each other if they wanted to try this again, but this time the son wanted the father to push him. The son wanted to become so much more in the new life they create. Whatever way the father can find to push the son, to get him to do more, to not settle, the son wants the father to do that with him.
That will be our lesson, to become more as a father and be even more proud of his son than he was. And the son wants to be important. He wants to feel that. He doesn’t want to feel there’s so much more he could have done. He wants to know there’s a strong father behind him that won’t let him settle.
And so your husband creates a family where there weren’t good role models for him to follow. He becomes a stern father who, out of love, whether he can admit that or not, isn’t going to settle for what your son does, no matter how good it is. He’ll ignore your son and not give him any confidence or any hurrahs for what he does. And this is your husband’s way of pushing your son to want his father’s attention, and to want more, and more, and more.
The most wonderful little book for you to read is, The Littlest Soul and the Sun, by Neale Donald Walsch, about two angels. One angel asks the other angel to come back into a new life, and if the first angel does something mean to the second angel, can the second angel still remember the first angel is a soul and forgive him. We suggest you read that book. That’s exactly what’s going on with your husband and your son.
They’re being tough with each other, but underneath they want so much more for each other. Your husband wants to leave this life thinking he was a wonderful father, and he pushed his son so much that, look what his son accomplished. And your son wants to think at the end of this life, my father never complimented me enough, he pushed me and pushed me, but I see it now, it was out of love because look at what I’ve become.
Bob: Is it a good idea for the son or the father to read, The Littlest Soul and the Sun, as well?
Council: They may not be open to it, but I’d leave the book around and see who gets drawn to it first and who reads it. It’s perfect for what’s going on, and it’s the wife’s job not to judge or step in because she can’t fix this. This is between your husband and your son. They’ll find a way. Their lessons and challenges in this reality is to find a way to come back to love. That’s the reason we’re all here, to come back to the state of love.
Bob: Was the father in this life the father in the past life, and the son in this life the son in the past life?
Council: Yes. And so they brought that role into their current life to work it through.
Kristi: I try to step in and talk to my husband about how difficult he’s being, but he doesn’t seem to understand where I’m coming from.
Council: Yes, he doesn’t understand, not at this time.
Kristi: He’s not abusive at all, but he doesn’t offer the love and acceptance a parent should provide.
Council: You provide love and acceptance to your husband and your son for the way they are. Always send them light so they can find a way to work out this challenge they wanted to go through in this lifetime, and they’ll find the path that will bring them to the state of love.
Kristi: My husband’s father was absent most of my husband’s life, so my husband didn’t have the best role model for parenting. Whereas I had the best father in the world and I only want the same thing for my son. I’d love for them to have a better relationship, but I understand this isn’t my battle. I’d love more insight into their dynamic, whether or not this was planned in spirit before coming to this Earthly plane, and why?
Council: It was definitely planned. And their higher selves know why they created this situation, what they’re trying to do, and will take them along their path until they understand and find a way to bring more love into their lives.
Kristi: Do you see my husband’s and son’s relationship getting better with time?
Council: It can always get better, but they are the creators. The best thing you can do is to accept what they create. They can create a change in a year if they want, or it could take 20 years. You must let them go through whatever it is they need to see, understand, and feel, and they’ll find a way.
Kristi: What can I do to help this situation?
Council: Send love, and have fun watching your husband’s and your son’s journey.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kristi and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into any of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Why Don’t I Have A Good Relationship With My Mother?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Ilona, who asks about her relationship with her mother.
Ilona: I experienced difficulties that were a great challenge for me from the time I was young. My mother always perceived me negatively and didn’t show me as much love as my two sisters.
Council: You set this experience up yourself in spirit. From the very beginning you wanted to learn the lesson of independence, the lesson of accepting others for who they are, you wanted to learn about boundaries, and you wanted to learn how to let go of things and move your life in the direction you wanted. As a young child you began to have feelings that perhaps you weren’t good enough, feeling you weren’t accepted, and so your path began.
Ilona: I’d like to know why my mother doesn’t need me in her life? Why is she pushing me away? Did I hurt her in any way?
Council: There’s nothing you’ve done to hurt your mother, but in spirit, before you came into this reality, you and your mother set up the kind of relationship you’re having. What feels to you like your mother is pushing you away was an agreement you made with her so that your life would be difficult and you’d have to be stronger. And in finding your strength you’d feel very proud of yourself.
In 2020 my mother had a stroke, and in the first few months I felt like our relationship was getting better. That was until my youngest sister moved in with her. Since then my relationship with my mother has been tested again.
Council: Go back to this time when your mother had her stroke and you thought your relationship was improving. How did you feel about this? How do you remember this time? This is the feeling you’re looking for again, but you set it up so you’d feel this way whether you had your mother’s approval or not. This was a taste to remind you of what you were looking for, and then it was taken away. This was all your choice on a spiritual level.
Ilona: After my youngest sister moved in, my mother doesn’t respond to my messages, and doesn’t want to talk to me when my sister isn’t there. I suspect my sister doesn’t want me to have a nice relationship with my mother and only wants to keep my mother to herself.
Council: Whether this is what your sister wants or not, how do you feel about your relationship with your mother? It’s up to you to make up your mind and go in the direction of what you want to happen. It’s a lot of work to look at this relationship and decide if this is what you want. Is it too difficult? Or can you look at it and learn your lesson and feel good about yourself, whether you have your mother’s or your sister’s approval or closeness with them.
What can you find about yourself that makes you feel good? Is it somewhere else in a different relationship? Can you accept what your mother and sister do, send them love, and let go? If you can’t send love, can you just let go? Because what you’re looking for isn’t to be found in this relationship. This relationship is to get you to look more at yourself, to find out about yourself and the kind of person you are, what you’ll allow, and what you won’t allow. It’s about boundaries. The bottom line is you’re supposed to learn about yourself, love yourself, and feel good about what you accept, and what you don’t accept.
We’re not sent to Earth to suffer and feel horrible. We’re sent here to look at these lessons and to find a way of dealing with them, whether letting it go to make you feel good, or whether it’s pushing forward to see what you can do. When you realize you can’t change another person, can you accept them for who they are? See them and speak to them when you feel like it, or completely walk away. These are all decisions you wish to make. You wish to take your life in the direction you find more comfortable and more loving for yourself.
Ilona: Why is my youngest sister so manipulative?
Council: It’s the part she chose to play and that you both set up and agreed to in spirit. So if she’s manipulative, do you want this in your life? Do you wish to fight against this? Or can you accept your sister for who she is and know that she has her own lessons to learn from this kind of behavior? And then not focus on how manipulative she is, but how – now that you see it – that’s something you don’t want around you, and move forward appropriately.
Ilona: What can I do to improve my relationship with my mother?
Council: Always send your mother and your sister the energy of love, whether you understand them or not. And decide to be there for them when they want you to be there, or completely let go. You must make the decision. Remember you can’t change another person. You can accept them for what they’re doing because you don’t know what they’re trying to learn in their reality. Focus on yourself and what you want, and move in that direction.
Ilona: Is there any hope for me?
Council: There’s always hope. On an energetic level you can picture them changing. Picture them calling you. Picture them asking you to meet with them. You must do the work on an energetic level first. You can do this if it’s what you want, but you first have to decide what you want. Work energetically with them and you’ll see the change begin to happen. There’s nothing you can do physically in your reality to get them to change. You can see the change happen when you constantly focus on how you want your life to be.
Ilona: Is there anything I should know right now?
Council: The most important thing is to concentrate on yourself. See how your relationship with your mother and sister is going. Decide what you want. Do you want a relationship? Do you not want it? Then work energetically. Even if you decide it’s not what you want, picture your relationship going in different ways, but happily. Imagine they’re happy without you in their lives and you’re happy without them in your life. Always come from a place of love, letting go, and everyone feeling the happiness and joy that’s intended when you learn lessons.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording (we apologize for the quality of this recording) to hear all The Council’s guidance for Ilona and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What Can I Do About My Son’s Anger Toward His Brother?
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who says, I’ve been working on my relationship with my young son. In many ways it has improved and he seems to walk through the world with less anger. However, he still seems to have an enormous amount of anger and jealousy toward his younger brother. This is causing a lot of tension in our family and makes it difficult to trust him. Will his anger and jealousy ever go away?
The Council says his anger and jealousy will go away in time if he handles the challenge he’s set up for himself in spirit. Then this will change. At this particular time there is a jealousy of the younger brother, and this is normal in many families. And yet your son has brought in grudges from a few lifetimes, of feeling ignored, abandoned, and feeling that in these other lifetimes he wasn’t treated properly.
The way your son set up this lifetime was that he wanted to be the star attraction, and now having a younger brother, he doesn’t feel that way. There’s a lot of chaos going on and emotions that he doesn’t quite understand right now. He only knows that he isn’t very fond of his younger brother.
It’s good for you to have lots of patience at this time. The only thing you can do is show love, but there are also times where discipline is needed. What’s wanted here is equal attention between the two brothers so that the older son would see that his younger brother was special, and so was he.
Your problem son has to come to terms with being in this reality. If he wants to be a star or to have lots of attention, the way to get this attention is by finding something he loves and developing that talent, not by putting fear and worry in others, and by negative behavior. You have to find a way to show discipline, and also show love at the same time.
Anonymous asks, Is there anything I can do to alleviate this anger and jealousy? The Council says you have to remember that he is the creator. Even though he and you don’t understand what’s going on at this time, he set it up this way in spirit so he can find himself, and find the kind of person he really wants to be. By allowing him to be himself, by allowing him to learn about discipline and about being kind to others, that’s the way you help your son find the path he’s looking for.
Anonymous asks, Where does this anger and jealousy come from? The Council says it comes from other lifetimes where he felt ignored and he was disciplined improperly and unfairly. Your son has gone through lives where he was punished for things he did, and things he didn’t do. In one of these lives your son was thrown out as a very young child around nine years old. This is all in the subconscious, which is stirring up feelings that are confusing him. He doesn’t know how to let go of these hurt feelings from other times.
With patience, discipline, and showing love to both boys in front of each other, showing the younger son the love you have for the older son, and showing the older son the love you have for the younger son, showing kindness, and showing understanding, that’s how you teach and help him find his way.
Anonymous says, In the past The Council suggested I go to therapy, and I have. It’s been okay, but I honestly can’t seem to cultivate a sense of calm and peace in our family. My son is very resistant to any sort of calming technique like meditation and breathing. He prefers to laugh maniacally and endlessly pick on his little brother.
The Council says, When your son laughs maniacally, how do you handle it? Do you become angry? Do you become fearful? Instead, there’s a way you can just look at your son, with your eyes show him love, but immediately turn and walk away. Do not feed it or ask him why he’s doing this. Walk away and he’ll have to deal with what he’s done.
Anonymous says, I’m very open to any perspective or suggestions from The Council. The Council says it’s like we’ve said before, love is the answer, but so is understanding, and so is allowing your son to become who he wants to become. At this time it takes a lot of patience on your part. There’s a lot of unnecessary behavior going on. Know that while this is going on that you won’t condone it, but you won’t fight it and have long discussions about it either. When this behavior comes up, look kindly, but then turn and walk away. This will be unexpected, and that will help him find another way of thinking about what’s going on.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for the anonymous reader and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Is It Time To Separate From My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused and Sad, who says, I’ve been married for close to 30 years. The last few years have had me reflect on how different my husband and I are, and how much we’ve grown apart. It seems our history and our finances are the main reason we’re still together. My husband is a good man, but we have very little, if anything, in common. We rarely agree on anything and this makes me very sad. I feel in my heart we’d both be happier apart, and perhaps have a chance to find a true partner who can make us happy.
The Council says the pre-planning of this marriage in spirit comes from a lifetime where you were both married to other people and you were very mean and selfish with your partners. You felt stuck in these marriages. You didn’t know each other in that life, but there was always the thought to find someone better. You thought you were with people who weren’t pretty, weren’t handsome, weren’t intelligent, people that made you feel closed in, or had nothing in common with you. And both your spirits were willing to work on the same issues so you decided to do it together in your current lifetime.
When you came into your current life it was to come together and learn how to accept who the other person is, whatever their issues were. You wanted to learn how to allow someone to be different. You don’t have to have all these things in common. You wanted to learn how to love yourself and not to look for someone new that would make you happy and feel loved. You must love yourself.
And then you took it a step further and you decided that because you were so selfish and mean in your past life, in your current life when you learned how to accept your spouse for who they were, you were going to try to help them feel good about themself. You were going to take the focus off of you and how miserable you felt, and how this person wasn’t making you happy, and try to do something for this other person,. and give of yourself. And in that you’d feel the change within yourself, and you’d feel better and more love for yourself.
At first we imagine this may be difficult, but when you see you’re focusing on the other person and allowing them to take in this beautiful energy you’re sending by trying to do something for them, or just the energy of letting them be who they are, what you’re looking for in other people you’ll find in yourselves. When you find it in yourselves, you’ll realize both of you created this situation in this marriage. You’re exactly where you need to be to realize: How can I fix this? I love this person, but I don’t, because there’s someone who’d be prettier or handsomer, someone that would give me more attention, someone that would make me feel happier than I am. All of this love comes from within you, not from another person.
When you ask yourself to be nicer, to be understanding, to say to yourself, Today let me do this for this person or with this person, knowing it’s something that person likes, you will be so proud of yourself, and the feeling you want to have in a marriage will return. It will not only return, but it will be better than it was.
Confused says, We’ve both tried to make each other happy for the sake of the children and family, but we’re just two very different people. The Council says, Isn’t that wonderful. Look at what you can learn from being two totally different people.
Confused says, We’re both scared to leave because we’re all each other has known for so many years. The Council says of course the feeling of being scared will come up because you know this isn’t what you wanted. You don’t want to flee your marriage. You didn’t plan to go off and find something else. You both created this situation so you could grow within yourself and for each other.
Confused says, I know we’re both confused and scared because separation or divorce can be just as difficult as staying together. The Council says if you were to do this and move on, the happiness you’re looking for you won’t find somewhere else. It’s within this marriage, it’s within yourselves that you wanted to grow and learn, and you will feel this.
Confused says, I’ve tried to figure out why we would have chosen each other, what lessons we were supposed to learn. Is it finally time to move on and co-create the life we’d both like to live? And perhaps find true love with a partner more suited for each of us that can make us happy?. The Council says this other partner you’re looking for will be no different because you both planned to live your life this way.
Confused says, We do try and communicate and work things out, but our thought processes are just so completely different. The Council says, Isn’t it wonderful?. Do you stop and wonder what your spouse is thinking of? Do you try to understand it? Do you try and see it? And you don’t have to agree with each other. That’s the most wonderful thing. You can still have your beliefs and your ways of thinking, but how interesting it would be to see how your spouse’s mind works. And you can learn much from this. Let go of being rigid and thinking we have different ideas. What can you learn from this? Maybe it would be fun for you to think this way. Or maybe you can learn from thinking this way. It’s all opportunities in front of you.
If you feel you don’t want to stay in this marriage, it’s always your choice. You’ll create it again because the lessons you want to learn are right here. All the opportunities are right here for you.
Confused says, Our thought processes are just so completely different that it never ends well. We just seem to see things completely differently. The Council says, And so you argue and you fight because you don’t agree because you think differently. When you go to school the teacher thinks differently than a student. The student in the back of the room could be thinking differently than a student in the front. You don’t fight over this. You listen and learn from it. But most important, you allow the person to be who they are. And that’s the most wonderful gift you can give anyone.
Confused closes by asking, Have we learned all we can from each other, and is it finally time to move on? The Council says we’ve given you the answer. We wish you so much fun on your journey. Take your focus off your disagreeing, your not having things in common, off the fighting and difficulty communicating. Take your focus and say, This is another spirit who’s agreed with me to come into this reality to create this situation. While we go through it we’re going to learn about each other. Most importantly we’re going to learn about ourselves. Are we able to accept others if they’re not like us? Because your purpose in this life is to bring love into this reality.
Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and Scared and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Requesting Guidance for a Never-Ending Divorce
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Amy. She says it’s a full year since I asked The Council about my divorce and it’s as if time has stood still. My divorce is no further along than it was then. I’ve tried everything to move the divorce forward, but my husband is intent on going to trial, and he has so much to lose. The challenges he’s faced with emotional abuse and substance abuse will now play out publicly in court and it’s possible he might lose custody of our children.
The Council says this is the way your husband wants the divorce to go. How would you like the divorce to go? If you put the thought in your mind that your husband is intent on going in the direction of court, does it bring up fear? Does it bring up frustration? Or are you satisfied with this and think we’ll go to trial, but I know his behavior and abuse will come out and the trial will go in my favor?
Find thoughts that bring you satisfaction and joy. The timing of when your divorce is finalized doesn’t matter. What will make the divorce move forward is if you take your thoughts away from frustration and appreciate your life. Go about your business and do what you want with your children and know that this divorce will eventually happen when you accept the way it’s going and know for sure, without a doubt in your mind, that everything will come out okay for you and your children.
Your husband has his lessons to go through. At this point your lesson is to accept what’s going on. Don’t think of the divorce as a battle and you’re going to war. Your husband is bringing on this challenge. You can accept it with peace in your mind and things will turn out in your favor.
Amy says, Losing custody of our children isn’t what I wanted for my husband, but he watches TV all day long and on TV you don’t see reasonable people gracefully dismantling their lives with their children at the center. I feel I’ve been fair and I’ve tried to settle this divorce fairly and quietly for the sake of our children, but there’s something blocking this divorce. The Council says the block is what you and your husband have come together to do and the lesson to be learned in it. You may not realize that spiritually your husband may have decided he wants to lose his children and learn what that’s about. You don’t have to know the reason, or what your husband is creating. This will show itself to you.
Amy says, We still live together, I still support him, and he refuses to work. The Council asks Amy why her husband should work if she lets him live with her and supports him? This doesn’t seem sensible. If you want to keep him living in your home and supporting him, that’s fine, but know you’re agreeing to this. You’re allowing this to happen. If you want something different you’d handle the situation differently.
Amy says, I can see so clearly what my life looks like with my children when I get to the other side of this divorce. I’ve deepened my relationship with myself over the last year and I’m anxiously awaiting the change and the experience it will bring to my family overall. The Council reminds Amy to do the inner work, keep seeing the pages of a calendar flying by, and the time has passed and your divorce is happening.
Amy says, I’ve been getting ready to get ready, as Abraham-Hicks teaches, and I feel good. It’s surprising to most people that I feel no animosity toward my husband. The Council says this is wonderful because animosity isn’t necessary and that in spirit you both created this situation.
Amy says, Our life is far more peaceful than it ever was before, living without the emotion and intensity our marriage held. We’re co-parents living in the same house and it feels a little like a dress rehearsal. The Council says without saying too much about your husband, some of what he’s created is to go through life easily and have things done for him. What he’s creating and will continue to create is to have people come into his life and make it easier.
Amy says, I’ve recently come to the point where I stopped trying to control the outcome and I’ve even given up on the timeline for the divorce. Right now I get to be with my children every day while the divorce works itself out and I’m grateful for every minute with them in the same house. Having said that, it’s time for me to move on. I feel a strong pull towards something else and I have no idea what that is. This is exciting – nervous excitement. There’s not another love interest or even a thought of one, or a friend or a family member pulling me along so I know this is a different calling.
The Council says it’s wonderful that you’ve stopped trying to control the outcome. This is the way to make the divorce happen. Stay in that feeling of excitement. Stay in the feeling of being pulled toward something new and wonderful. Even if you don’t know what you’re excited about, stay in that excited, happy feeling.
Amy says the universe takes care of my husband. Life just happens for him. He just seems to walk through life carelessly without consequences. No matter how badly he treats people or screws up, someone picks up the slack. It’s as if you can see him being carried. I know we all have a higher power watching over us. It’s just easy to see with my husband that he’s always taken care of no matter how bad his behavior is or how much he alienates friends and family. The Council says this isn’t any part of what you need to experience. He’ll go through all the emotions and all the experience he needs on his path.
Amy says, I can’t be the person I’ve been for my husband anymore. I need to move on, but I feel a block and I can’t seem to clear it. The Council says there isn’t any block. Think of the divorce moving forward. You’re on the correct path. All that you wish, if you continue to focus on it, will come to you. Let go of the time factor. It’s not necessary. Stay in a vibration of happiness and love and you’ll see your divorce come quickly.
The Council says you’re all so much more than you think you are. You’re all on this wonderful path of growth, and understanding, and realizing there are many lives you’ve experienced and many more you’ll create when you’re ready. Focus on being the creator. Focus on bringing joy and laughter into your life and everything will come to you. When you’re happy, you’ll see the connections that are being made. There will be more understanding. Stay in that feeling of joy.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Amy and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council a question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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How Can I Help This Man With His Commitment Issues?
This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Unicorn, to our post, Why Has This Man In My Life Become So Distant? Unicorn says, I’d love to know how I can help this man with commitment issues, but I have no idea how to. His behavior has turned 360° and I think he’s met someone else and hasn’t been honest with me.
The Council says there are several relationships this man goes in and out of. But you’re helping him with his commitment issues by understanding them, then letting them go, and allowing this man to be who he needs to be. Forcing him to face these commitment issues doesn’t help this situation. Now that you know there are these commitment issues, you can’t force this. You can only accept the situation, wish this man well, and see how he moves along his path.
The Council says it’s always Unicorn’s choice to know she’s unable to heal what this man is going through regarding commitment. You can only be in this man’s life if you wish to be in his life, but you can’t heal his life. This man has to understand why these issues are going on in his life and he has to decide for himself if he wants to make a change. You see the situation as his commitment issue. It’s upsetting and you want to heal this. This man can be very happy not being committed to one person.
You don’t know the path this man is on. All you can know is, do you wish to be in this man’s life? Do you wish to be his friend? Can you handle this? If you’re only in this man’s life hoping you’ll be able to push him into understanding his commitment issues and he’d have an “ah ha” moment, this isn’t how things works. The choice is yours to be in some sort of relationship or out of it.
Send love into this relationship and watch it grow. Create with your thoughts the way you’d like this relationship to be. Create with your thoughts that whatever this man’s commitment issue is, why it’s there, and where it comes from, you can send light to this man to help him on his path.
Unicorn says, He always called me Unicorn because he never met someone like me before. Then overnight he pretty much became a magician when it comes to communication. He hardly ever communicates with me, but he agrees to see me without being intimate or affectionate when we’d become close in this way months ago. The Council says at this point it’s up to you. Can you deal with this kind of relationship? Is this what you want? Are you comfortable with this? See where the relationship goes and use your thoughts and your feelings to create more. The choice is always yours.
Unicorn says, I’m still confused why this man is happy to see me, but not communicate with me. The Council says he can be happy to see you now and then, when he’s in the mood, and he has nothing else going on. You don’t need to know the reasons why. If there’s happiness when you get together, be in that moment and enjoy it.
Unicorn says, I feel this man pushed his way into my life to cause grief and chaos. The Council says there was no pushing. Your coming together was planned in spirit. You let this man into your life to discover what you need to discover about you, and about how you let this relationship affect you. Moving forward, take your attention off this man and put it on yourself. Why are you in this relationship? Why does it bother you? Why do you stay in this relationship? How does it make you feel? How can you bring joy into this relationship when you’re together? Your purpose is to accept what this relationship is, to bring joy into it, and to appreciate what’s there.
Unicorn says, To be honest, I’m deeply hurt. I’m lost in what to do and need guidance. All I want is the truth to the situation. But if my soul has planned to be in his life to help him heal the issue of commitment, then I’d love to know how I can help. The Council says again, You can accept this person the way they are.
The Council says you’re all so much more than you think you are. You’re all on this wonderful path of growth, understanding, realizing there are many lives that you’ve experienced, and many more that you’ll create when you’re ready. Focus on being the creator. Focus on bringing joy and laughter into your life and everything will come to you. Everything will be shown. When you’re happy you’ll see the connections that are being made in your life. There will be more understanding. And stay in that feeling of joy.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Unicorn and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. And you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What’s Going On with My Troublesome Brother?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Peace5, who wants to know about their brother. Peace5 says, He’s almost 23 years old and has been very troublesome lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Even though he has an incurable disease, he stopped taking his medicine, he stopped taking care of himself, and he’s very nasty with me and our whole family, even my 6-year-old son.
The Council suggests trying to find compassion for your brother. Imagine how you’d feel knowing you have an incurable disease. Some people can find a way to work with an incurable disease and have positive thoughts. Others, like your brother, become depressed. Being nasty and stopping his medication is a sign he can’t find hope. He can’t love himself. He’s going through this depression because he’s closed himself off to loving himself and accepting love from others.
We hope your family will be able to find some sort of therapy for your brother that will help with his depression. Once he’s able to have a few positive thoughts, once he’s able to change his lower vibration, hope will come to him and he can have thoughts of helping himself. He can’t cure himself when he’s in the vibration he’s in now. That vibration must be changed.
If it’s at all possible we recommend doing the chakra breathing meditation we recommend in another post. You can do this with him and so can the rest of your family. This meditation will help align his chakras so he can feel better.
Get your brother the first Emmanuel book, by Pat Rodegast and leave it in his room where he can find it, but don’t tell him to read it. Once he’s able to connect with this book and begins to read about depression, illness, dying, and changing his life, it’ll start to put him on the right path.
Peace5 says, My brother takes medical marijuana for his disease, but I believe it’s harming him more than helping him. He’s not interested in anything at all, including looking for a job. All he does is lay around all day long, sleep, and shower four times a day even though he doesn’t go anywhere. He fights with us, curses at us for no apparent reason, and doesn’t speak with us. What’s going on with him and do you think he’ll ever change for the better?
Again The Council asks if you can find it in your heart to feel some compassion for your brother? Try to understand he’s in a difficult place. Can you accept where he is now? Offer him love. Speak with him. Talk with him like he’s a regular person. Don’t tiptoe around him or not say things in front of him. Get excited and share your life with him. Tell him stories. This will be the beginning of your brother feeling cared for.
Don’t force your attention on him, but when you’re around him try to be joyful. If you can be in a joyful vibration it increases the likelihood of your brother becoming joyful. It’s important you’re whole family is very accepting of you’re brother’s situation and condition and forget he has this incurable disease. Forget he’s laying around. Forget he’s doing nothing. Just be nice to your brother and accept who he is.
The Council asks Peace5 to remember you can’t make your brother better. You can be in the right vibration around him. You can speak to him joyfully. Have your brother feel that no matter how he behaves, he’s accepted. Show him by your conversation that you care about him.
At first he probably won’t accept your positive intentions, but we ask you to continue with them anyway. When your brother sees no one is fighting with him, that you accept him, that you allow him to lay around if he wants to, that you don’t preach to him about doing nothing, he’ll eventually get tired of doing these things and begin to raise his vibration and begin to try and find a better way. In doing this and sending him love and light with your thoughts to help him through his difficulties, things will change.
There are many reasons why your brother may have chosen the life he’s currently living. He wants to understand his situation. In the spirit world, where we’ve either experienced a similar life situation in another incarnation, or we’ve seen others go through what we’re going through, we wonder if we can also do that. Can I bring love into that situation? Can I turn that situation around? Do I want to teach things to other people about how to handle this situation and how we all need to reach for love and show love in that situation?
That’s why we choose situations like the one your brother is in. There are many reasons, but the many reasons are unimportant. The main reason is: Am I bringing love into this situation? Am I bringing love and support and positive thoughts to the person who’s going through this difficulty? That’s what’s needed. In spirit we’re all confident we’ll be able to do this. In reality it’s much more difficult. The reason why we came here is to have fun. We came here to face every situation with love. And when you bring love into any situation, it must change.
Bob closes by asking if there’s a possibility of curing this incurable disease. The Council says there’s always this possibility and this, of course, is up to your brother.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Peace5 and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear toward the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What Can I Do About My 20-Year-Old Son’s Behavior
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Christine, who’s concerned about her 20-year-old son. He’s finished high school and has done very little with his life since then. He spends most of his days smoking marijuana from early in the morning until late at night. He also believes he has an alcohol addiction. When he was younger he was very outgoing and appeared happy and enthusiastic about life. Now he’s often very aggressive and his reaction to a situation often appears way out of proportion, and he can be very nasty and domineering.
The Council says your son’s behavior appears pre-planned so he can experience not moving forward in his life right now. His escaping with alcohol and marijuana was also pre-planned. His violence and frustration come from being in this place and pre-planning to change it.
Because your son isn’t moving forward to change his behavior, his higher self is trying to drag him in the direction of changing it, whether in the direction of seeking professional help, or going into a group for help, and reading about how he feels – anything taking him in the direction of wanting to change his behavior. He appears to be stuck in his situation and he’s not able yet to take those steps forward to change it. Your son has no understanding of how you’re trying to help or how you might try to speak about these things to him.
The only job you have right now is to let your son be who he is. We realize this could be frustrating and painful for you, but these are experiences and lessons he wanted to have and then to change. When he’s ready he’ll take these steps. You’re there to give your son love and support.
If he complains to you about being an alcoholic or being lazy and not being able to move forward, all you have to do is say, “Okay, what are you going to do about it?” He needs to realize it won’t magically happen. He has to do something about his situation, even if he was to start imagining he felt better or imagining he’s out there traveling the world. Have him imagine whatever it takes to make him behave differently. You can suggest that and then leave his situation alone.
Your job was to bring this soul forward into this life so it could go through whatever it picks to go through and to accept him and love him the way he is.
Christine says when he’s nasty and domineering it’s impossible to speak rationally with him and we’re left feeling totally depleted. He can also be very lazy. Because he’s my son, I feel like I’m responsible in some way. The Council says you’re playing the part that’s needed and he wished for you to play to get him to this point in his current situation.
When you feel frustrated it will help you if you think he’s really into living what he pre-planned. This is wonderful. Let’s let him do what he has to do and we’ll watch as he finds his way out of this situation and how he learns to change it. You aren’t responsible for his behavior. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. You did whatever you were supposed to do to get your son to this point and it’s all up to him now to change it.
Christine says, I felt we were very loving and attentive parents, but I know we weren’t perfect. My other son is very different. I’d appreciate some insight into my son’s behavior and our relationship. The Council says you have two sons. Make sure you offer them both love and support. Be there for both of them, not fine with one and disappointed with the other.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Christine and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Do My Current Career Struggles Relate to Job Karma?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Adhvazila, who asks about their professional life. They say, I’ve been struggling on the professional front for quite some time. Does this have anything to do with job karma and will it end any time soon?
The Council says they don’t like to use the word karma. Karma is really just a choice you make. In many of your lives you had it very easy, didn’t have to work, and had no patience for people who lived by standards that weren’t up to yours. In your current life you thought you’d like to experience the difficulty, the struggle, and how to accept it and change it. And that’s where you are right now.
We see you coming out of these career difficulties when you become grateful for the job you have, even if that’s not something that’s easy. Focus on the fact that you are working and that you can support yourself. Show this attitude of gratefulness and then begin to look elsewhere for other jobs. Put out there the kind of work you’d like to do. Show patience and kindness to everyone you meet because of the way you were in other lives. This is what you wanted to express in your current lifetime.
Adhvazila says, There’s a sense of loss of direction and currently my situation is also quite stressful. The Council says when you’re feeling stresssful it’s good to take deep breathes every day. Be grateful for the job you have. If the stress comes from your work or if it comes from the people you work with, be patient and kind and you’ll see the stress reduce.
Adhvazila asks, Will I ever be able to earn a good living in a less stressful environment? The Council’s advice is to love what you have and you’ll come out of the situation you’re in.
Listen to the entire 3-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Adhvazila and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Counil your own question by typing it in a Comment box located at the bottom of most blog pages.
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My On/Off Relationship with My Sister-In-Law and Our Past Lives
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, SillyGoose, who’s asking about her relationship with her sister-in-law. She says, I feel like I have a strong connection with her and her husband from past lives. She can sometimes be very kind and sometimes she becomes very rude. I want to stay away from her, but then she manages to pull me back into her life again.
The Council says in a past life you were your sister-in-law’s mother. You were strict and trying to teach her, but she was a rebel in that life. When you handed out punishment you’d then feel guilty. She’d then pull you back in, make you love her, think she’d behave, and then she’d act out again. In your current life, part of her remembers how to pull you in. But there’s true love there between the two of you and your sister-in-law will get clearer on this as time moves on.
Understand this dynamic that’s going on now. If you can laugh at the idea that at one time your sister-in-law was your naughty little child that knew how to manipulate you, this is what’s going on in your current life. Understand you can let go of what she does and see yourself and her as spirits.
SillyGoose says, I’m confused if my sister-in-law really cares for me or is she just pretending to? The Council says your sister-in-law’s love is real.
When your sister-in-law is being rude, try to remember this comes from a time where she’d do that to annoy you as her mother. When your sister-in-law is frustrated she can turn to that being rude, but then afterward she’ll try and pull you back in her life again because she doesn’t want to loose you. Yes, there’s love there. Yes, you’re going through things. Yes, she’s going through things. But now you’re the one who has this information and can look at the situation differently. Just watch as your sister-in-law zig-zags back and forth. Perhaps you can find it somewhere within you to laugh about this because it’s a past life trait and it will change when you can accept it and be more humorous about it. Then you’ll be able to see the true love she has for you come through more and more.
Be humorous and patient with your sister-in-law. Watch how she acts as if you’re watching a movie, and your situation with her will make more sense as you begin to realize and understand her behavior is coming from a past life. Your purpose in this life is to love her again. This is what you wanted. Teach your sister-in-law that you accept her the way she is. Her purpose in this life was to know you’ll always be there for her and not leave her because she’s not a good person or doesn’t behave a certain way. You’re both learning from this dynamic that’s going on in your life and you brought these traits into your current life to help each of you learn from it.
SillyGoose asks, am I supposed to stay connected to my sister-in-law or is it better to stay away? The Council asks, with what you know now, what feels good to you when you ask yourself that question. The answer is within you. You know what it is. There’s no need for us to tell you. Ask yourself and do the work.
SillyGoose asks what lessons she has to learn from her sister-in-law, and The Council says, acceptance.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for SillyGoose and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question in a Comment box located at the bottom of most blog pages.
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What’s My Life Purpose Now That My Husband Has Passed?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Grieving Widow, after she read our post, Why Did My Partner Crossover Sooner Than Expected? She says I also have similar questions. My husband passed suddenly in a car accident and I’m unable to accept it. I’m constantly trying to connect with him and continue our relationship.
The Council asks Grieving Widow what she’d need to accept her husband’s death. You know he’s no longer in your physical reality, but he’s here in spirit. There are ways you can connect with him through meditation or asking for a connection in your dreams. You can ask for little signs he’s around that would give you the comfort he’s really gone nowhere. He’s still part of your life, being around you, seeing what you do. He left because it was his wish and his time to finish this lifetime. It was to give you a chance to explore more of who you are and what you want moving forward.
Grieving Widow says she doesn’t want to be here without her husband and asks The Council what is her purpose here without him? The Council says to find out who you are. What would make you happy? What ideas did you have while your husband was still here about things you wanted to do, but never had the chance? Now is the time to move forward and do these things.
Grieving Widow says we have three sons and my relationship with my oldest isn’t good. How can I help him with his life lessons and be the best mother to all my sons when I can’t even find joy in anything anymore?
The Council asks Grieving Widow if she’s saying she doesn’t find joy with her children? Do you focus at all on how to be with them, be part of their lives, and invite them into your life to give you some sort of comfort? Communication is needed here. There’s a coming together to bring you closer together.
What you need to remember is that your children will see how you’re carrying on now that your husband has passed on into spirit. How do you handle this? Do you show them that you’re aware your husband is now in the spirit world, and that you know at some point you’ll all go back into spirit, and that your husband is helping all of you from spirit? Do you talk to your children and uplift them in this moment?
The loss of a husband is traumatic, but your children have lost their father. Do you focus on that? This is a way for you to learn to be of service to others, and at this point it’s your children that need you. How will you be of service? The Council reiterates that much more communication is needed.
Grieving Widow says, I don’t believe I chose to be without my husband and I’m struggling to find a purpose to stay in this life. Do I have a purpose to remain here? The Council assures Grieving Widow that you did plan in spirit with your husband that he would pass. Your purpose, as we mentioned before, is to find out more about yourself and what you would like. What are your interests? Hold your children together. Bring your family closer. Be of service to others.
The Council understands in the human form this is a very difficult time for you. Give yourself more love by accepting you are sad at this moment, accepting this is a grieving time, accept all of that, but somewhere within that make time to help others through what they’re going through.
Grieving Widow says, I feel my sons will learn their life lessons better if I’m not here because I feel I hinder them. The Council reminds Grieving Widow that she is part of her children’s life lessons and they are very aware of how you speak and how you act. Remember that the way you do this, you are adding to their lessons and showing your children how to be and how not to be. They need you in their lives for many more reasons. Be aware of your behavior and your communication. This is part of what they agreed to learn and you have all agreed to this.
The Council understands Grieving Widow’s feeling that she’s hindering her children, but because you’ve all agreed to your husband’s passing, you don’t hinder them. And if you feel you hinder them now, how do you change that? If you can learn how to meditate and how to find things to be grateful for it will change your vibration and help you through this time.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Grieving Widow and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question in a Comment box located towards the bottom of most of our post pages.
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How Can I Help My Children?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, StrugglingMom, after she read our post, Is My Life Purpose to Save My Husband from Himself? StrugglingMom says, this post sparked a question about whether my purpose is to help my children, especially my oldest son, and to ask how I can do that.
The Council says your life purpose is all about you, not about saving other people. When you agreed to have these spirits come into this world through you, you agreed to allow them to come in to create the kind of reality they want. They already have in mind the lessons they want to learn, the challenges they want to work through, and if they want to be of help to other people. This is all set up within that spirit. Your purpose is to allow these spirits to come in and then let go and watch what they’re creating.
If there’s a way you can guide them to make their way a little easier, this is helpful, but your purpose isn’t to save your children from whatever they go through or to change whatever you think they’re going through. Your purpose is to give your children love and support in the gentlest way you know.
StrugglingMom asks, do my children and I share any past lives or lessons to learn because we have a difficult relationship and I’m struggling to be the mother my children need. The Council says one of the lessons here is about abandonment, which is what you and your oldest son experienced in another lifetime. In your current life you agreed to be together and work with each other through the difficult times you’re experiencing and not to abandon each other.
Look at what your oldest son is going through and find a way to have discussions with him. Give him guidance on how you think there might be an easier way to go through what he’s experiencing. Discuss what you think and the challenges you’ve gone through and how you worked through these challenges. It’s by your example and by teaching your son what you did to get through your experiences that give him a basis for how to work through his own stuff.
A lot of these children that are difficult and don’t follow rules are very advanced and want to grow up and make their own rules and change things. And they want to do this quickly. Sometimes these children are called Indigo Children because they know they have lots to do in their future, but they’re confused right now with the challenge of growing up under their parent’s rules.
You don’t need to let your son do whatever he wants if you believe it’s unsafe or mean. You can explain another way he can accomplish what he wants. The more discussion you have with your son, the better it will be. Discussion can help things turn around quickly. And by discussion we mean talking about each other and to each other, but not in a way your son is likely to experience as nagging.
Your purpose with your son is to listen to him, be supportive, and not get to the point where you’re so upset you do nothing and conversation stops. This is a form of abandonment. Your son wanted to learn how to be himself, whatever he chose to be in this life. No matter how he chose to be, you would be allowing and accepting, guiding him gently another way, not through punishment or abandonment, but through listening and relating back and forth.
The Council says StrugglingMom and her oldest son shared a past life together as brothers who had no family and they both felt abandoned. In his current lifetime your son wants to work through his abandonment issues and he wanted to have parents that were there to guide him.
StrugglingMom says, I don’t know whether to push him or just let him fail when he refuses to go to school or do schoolwork. Do I punish him and force control? Or do I just let him be, which makes me feel guilty because I feel like I’m taking the easy way out and not being his mother?
The Council says StrugglingMom’s guilt serves no purpose. As a parent you realize there are school requirements that need to be met. As your son moves through school even though he’s not interested in it, discuss with him why it must be done. When he goes to school or does his schoolwork you should praise him and this will give him more motivation to continue.
If your son’s path is difficult because this is what he’s creating, and if he fails and you know in good conscience that you’ve tried to put him on a path you feel has advantages, then his wanting to fail is part of what his spirit wants to experience. Your role is to do what you can as a parent to explain how your son’s education is something he needs to do to improve himself for when he grows up. If you can do this then you’re not abandoning him. If you throw your hands up and say I give up, and your son fails, your son will experience abandonment again. What your son hopes for, no matter what, is you don’t abandon him.
You can help your son heal his abandonment issues through patience and communication, and talking about yourself and what you’ve gone through. Talk about how it’s difficult to see your son not trying. And talking about how you’ll be there no matter what road he picks, whether he tries or whether he fails This will help.
Once your son understands you’re there for him no matter whether he succeeds or fails, instead of having to continue going through the lesson of abandonment, that lesson will be changed because you’re letting your son be the way he needs to be. In accepting and allowing your son, you also allow his lessons to change and allow him to heal.
By StrugglingMom agreeing to be part of these abandonment issues, if her son fails, how will this affect her? What does that bring up for her? There are also abandonment issues StugglingMom wants to learn about. StrugglingMom and her oldest son are handling abandonment in different ways. It’s like different ends of the same stick. The son at one end doesn’t want to be abandoned even though it’s a difficult situation. He wants to see what his mother will do.
On the other side of the stick is StrugglingMom. She doesn’t want to throw her hands up and give up, but at times she feels like it’s no use. Does she give up? Does she abandon her son? Both are facing issues of abandonment and they’re trying to help each other through these issues.
The Council says one of the hardest parts of being a parent is to allow these spirits to come in and then feel responsible for how their child creates its life. You are supposed to bring the child in and then allow it to be whatever it needs to be, and to be there for your child as they go through whatever issues they’re trying to work through.
Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for StrugglingMom and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Why Did I Have a Loving Childhood and Now I’m Surrounded By Difficult Men?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Serenity, who says she’s a kind woman who comes from a wonderful family and grew up with minimal problems and nothing but love. When I got married we were happy at first, but as the years went by we grew apart and now have nothing in common.
The Council says they don’t see Serenity’s situation the same as she does. You have much in common with your husband and much more to accomplish with him. The feeling of drifting apart is caused by not connecting on a deeper level about moving forward. This relationship isn’t over.
Feeling you’re not connected with your husband allows you space to bring other souls into your life if that’s what you planned. It’s an opportunity to face life’s challenges and happy moments and have experience with another spirit.
Serenity says, we’re married 35 years. Several years ago I rekindled communication with my first love who had become a severe alcoholic and I’m helping him slowly get better.
The Council asks how you’re helping this man. Are you supporting the process of healing himself? You won’t heal anyone. The decision to heal is up to that spirit and it’s your place to accept what they’re going through. Whether he heals and becomes sober or stays with the alcoholism, your purpose is to be a watcher, a supporter, and allow him to be who he is. This is what you planned in spirit.
Serenity says, although my original feelings have changed, I still love both men in different ways. The Council says your feelings haven’t changed, they’re just refocused at the moment.
Serenity says, I’m confused about my purpose in life and why, after being brought up in such a loving environment, I seem to be surrounded by extremely difficult men.
The Council says this gives you a foundation for what you want to create going forward. If you were brought up in a loving environment, did you plan to face challenges and learn from them, and then change these challenges into a loving reality? The loving beginning of your life gave you something so when you get in other relationships, can you create a loving atmosphere. See if you can have a partner that’s also loving to help you find that loving feeling. It’s to learn what you’re currently going through isn’t what you want, but you’ll experience it and this will help you know what to create going forward?
Serenity says, all I ever wanted in life was a simple, intelligent, honest man to love me, have common interests, travel, and enjoy a beautiful life together. I’d like to know my purpose in life and why this has been so difficult to achieve in this incarnation.
The Council sees you wished to have the beautiful and perfect relationship that you have when you’re in spirit. You wanted to experience this in your current lifetime. You can still have this by focusing on what you want. How much of it do you have with this man you’re helping with alcoholism? How much of this experience do you have with your husband? Then refocus your thoughts and concentrate solely on the fact that you’ve had loving relationships in your youth and you need to create it again with these two men in your life.
When you feel this love around you, then you can make a choice to be with one of these men or keep both of them in your life. You came into this lifetime to have love at the beginning of your life and then have challenges. We are here to bring love into every challenge we have, no matter what that challenge is.
As you focus your thoughts and bring in better thoughts, the people around you will feel the change and it will help them move through their challenges and grow. You’ll be a beacon of light and help them through whatever it is they wish to learn.
The Council thanks Cynthia and Bob for bringing in this information to all the souls who need to know there’s more to life than the human condition you’re experiencing, to hear our words, and to connect with their higher selves. This way each one of us, if we grow even an inch, we bring everyone else on this planet with us.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Serenity and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Why Did My Brother’s Spirit End His Rugby Career with an Injury?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Phindezwa, who’d like to better understand her role in her younger brother’s life. A few years ago he was injured, which led to the end of his professional rugby career. Since then he’s struggled to find a meaningful career path and I’m currently supporting him, but I want him to be fully independent. Phindezwa asks why her brother’s spirit chose to end his rugby career and experience major difficulties over the last few years.
The Council says your brother’s spirit chose this path to be an example for others. It was pre-planned in spirit for him to have a rugby career he felt good about and to remember how that felt. Then your brother’s spirit wanted him to experience a feeling of failure, to not understand what happened, and not be able to move on. Once that was felt, you chose to be the creative and comforting one. It’s good that you’re playing this comforting role. But when your brother is trying too hard to find another career, almost out of desperation and sadness because that’s not what he wanted in his life, this makes it difficult to bring in this other career.
It’s good for you to talk to your brother as much as possible and share any ideas you and he might have about his new career. He can still have a career in sports if he wants, but not as a professional athlete. He needs to have a feeling of: I experienced the accomplishments I achieved, I believe I created this change in my life, and now there’s something more I can accomplish. There’s something out there that can make me feel even better than I did playing rugby. When he finds this he wants to show people that face the same sort of loss, whether being fired from a job or not finding one, how to go about overcoming this loss.
When your brother is able to pick himself up and try almost anything until the right position comes along, and if he faces everything he tries with the idea of seeing how it goes, and if this isn’t it then it will be something else. Each job leads him closer to what he wants to do. But we suggest somehow your brother keeps looking for work in the area of sports.
Phindezwa asks what her role is in her brother’s life. The Council says it’s to be a supportive person, the one that talks ideas through with him, the one that lifts his spirit, and the one that teaches him he can create whatever he wants. He was good at one thing. Now he’s in a place where he can be great again at something else.
You’re also there to see how your brother’s life is affecting you. Do you like being in the role of a supportive person? What feelings does it bring up in you? Know that you and your brother have pre-planned these experiences in spirit. You’re in the role you desired to experience. You wanted to see how to be supportive and yet step back and let your brother find his own way, but always be there for him. You’ll be showing your brother love and accepting him exactly the way he is. As you accept him and you know there’s a new career for him, he’ll begin to feel that.
As soon as your brother can create independence in his life, it will be there for him.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Phindezwa and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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I’m Worried My Mother Will Pass Away
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, LoveMyParents (LMP), who asks about their mother’s health. LMP says recently her aunt passed away unexpectedly and she was younger than my mother. This has triggered a lot of concern regarding my health and my time with my mother.
LMP lives away from their home country and can only visit their parents once every year or two. They say, I’ve been crying a lot since my aunt’s death and worrying about my mother’s health. I plan to move back to my home country in about five years so I can spend quality time with my parents and I’m around when they need me. As an only child I’m very attached to my mother and can’t stand the idea of her passing away.
The Council asks LMP why they’re focusing on the loss of their mother. They have gone nowhere. You should appreciate that they’re here and you still have time to be with them. The more you focus on the fear of losing your parents, the more likely you are to bring this into your life.
The Council asks LMP to change the focus of their attention. Appreciate your parents. You have a lot of time with them. Plan when you’ll see them, how you’ll have a good time together, and that all is going well. Doing this will help you move forward toward what you want, which is having your parents around you. If you continue focusing on loss, you’ll create this in your life.
The Council wants to remind you there isn’t any loss when someone’s physical life comes to an end. They understand your aunt has transitioned and come home to spirit. She’s in a wonderful place. There’s no grief where we are. Appreciate her life. Your aunt is experiencing more joy now than you can imagine. Be grateful she and your parents are fine. Whenever someone transitions to spirit, all is well. There is no loss and you’ll all be together again.
LMP says they’ve been feeling depressed and have experienced many sleepless nights recently. Can The Council please guide me if my plan to move to my home country in five years is okay and will I still have some years to spend with my mother and father? The Council says if you stop being afraid one of your parents will pass on from their physical life, five years is fine. There’s a future that includes you and them being together again. Don’t put a limit on your thinking. Appreciate your parents. They are here and you are here. Think about when you’ll get together and have some fun.
LMP asks if there’s any way to increase the length of my parents’ life using visualization and positive thought. The Council says positive thoughts and visualization will always help keep your parents in your reality. If you keep focusing on your parents being healthy, you can create that.
Remember that positive thinking lets you create in a way that allows your parents to be there for you. If the time comes where your parents are ready to leave this physical reality, you’ll know about this in spirit ahead of time and there will be an acceptance of their passing. But we see here what’s being created by all of you is plenty of time to be together.
Stay focused on the positive. Enjoy and feel grateful for every moment. Don’t have the thought in the background of how much more time do I have with my parents. That’s still coming from a negative place. Be positive and you’ll have your parents around. You’ll create this in a way that when it’s time for them to transition to spirit when they truly want this, you’ll be fine with it.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for LoveMyParents and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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How Can I Help My Daughter Feel More Confident?
This post answers question for The Council from a reader named, Mel, who asks the best way to help her daughter feel more confident and boost her self-esteem. Mel wonders if her daughter’s past lives are preventing her from seeing the wonderful, smart, amazing woman she is?
The Council says Mel’s daughter needs to feel accepted. Do you compliment her often? Do you point out all the wonderful things she does? Right now your daughter’s confidence comes from you. When she gets enough of this and she believes it and accepts it, she’ll have more and more confidence in herself and won’t need the acceptance from outside herself. She wanted to learn appreciation for herself in her current life.
In your daughter’s last lifetime she worked as a servant and did what needed to be done. There wasn’t any excitement for her in that life and she didn’t have any goals. In her current life your daughter wanted the experience of feeling confident, and when she feels this way she’d allow herself to experience desires of different things she wants. We ask you to allow your daughter to be who she is, but also to fan the flame of her feeling good about herself.
Mel says maybe the interactions my daughter and I had in our past lives have prevented her in some way from healing her lack of confidence in her current life. The Council reminds Mel that the confidence your daughter is working on in her current reality comes from her last lifetime where there wasn’t any confidence, no dream, and no hope.
Mel asks if her daughter’s being overweight is a result of past lifetimes. The Council says the desire to lose weight isn’t a problem from past lives. This is something your daughter created to accept, and once it’s accepted and your daughter feels good about herself, the extra weight will disappear when the time is right and when your daughter learns what she wanted to experience.
The Council says if there’s a problem with being overweight, is it in your eyes or your daughter’s? Does something come up if you talk about this? Is this more negative than positive? If it is The Council advises talking more positively about weight loss. The fact it’s part of who your daughter is now doesn’t mean she’ll always be this way. Being overweight is one more thing your daughter created to keep in front of her while she was trying to build up her confidence.
The Council reminds Mel that everything she and her daughter talk about should be positive on all subjects. When your daughter learns to be more positive and look at things more positively, her life will change for the better.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Mel and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Help Me Understand the Deaths of My Mother and Her Brothers
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Elyanna, who’s asking about the death of her mother and the subsequent deaths of her mother’s brothers. It seems strange they were sudden deaths and occurred in the bathroom. My other uncle died recently from a COVID related illness.
The Council says it doesn’t matter if these people died in the yard, on the beach, or in the bedroom. Rather than asking why these people died in the bathroom, the important questions are: How do you feel about these deaths and the disappearance of these people from your life? What’s coming up for you emotionally? What are these deaths teaching you?
Elyanna says her widowed grandmother has been devastated due to the loss of five of her children and though she prays a lot she doesn’t understand why this has happened to her. The Council says your grandmother, in spirit, wanted to learn the same lesson you wanted to learn about what happens when someone dies. Can you still connect with them? You were both interested in these lessons.
You and your grandmother, while in spirit, were talking about this and your grandmother was wonderful enough to ask if she can get in on this lesson learning with you. We can both go through this. And as we go through it, if we have the courage to talk about it and how it makes us feel, maybe we’ll both learn from these deaths. It will lead to a greater acceptance and not so much confusion. We’ll know we are all spirits who move on in and out of lifetimes.
It’s wonderful your grandmother prays a lot, but The Council feels what will help now is if the two of you speak about these deaths and look for their spiritual meaning. Who were these people in your life? Who are both of you and what you’ve learned? You’ve all created this situation in spirit and these deaths wouldn’t happen unless you all agreed to it. The lesson isn’t so much where these people die, but what this brings up for you?
Your family has come together so you can all work on these lessons about death and what it brings up for each of you. Keep in mind there’s really no death. There’s just moving on to another form of reality. You’ll have people on the other side waiting for you. You’ll talk about this life and what you’ve all learned. Do you want to go through a similar life again or do you want to learn different lessons? Was it fun being in this lifetime? Do you realize you worked together well? Did you all accomplish what you wanted to? If you didn’t accomplish what you wanted it doesn’t matter in spirit because you can choose to learn these lessons in your next life..
You all wanted to learn about death and that there’s so much more than this individual life. We suggest you read Brian Weiss’s books about life after lives so you get the feeling there’s more and there’s no ending. You’ll always be together in spirit with your loved ones. You’ll be together in other lifetimes if you all choose to. The Council closes by describing your family as being brave.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Elyanna and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Is My Family Trauma More Spiritual Than Psychological?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Gloribet, that were prompted by her reading of our post, What is the Purpose of My Life? Gloribet says she experienced much pain as a child because of emotional abuse and hard discipline from my father. This seems to be a theme in my father’s family where there’s a lot of trauma that’s passed down through generations.
The Council says the reason your family is experiencing this trauma is that each person wanted to work with this trauma and learn from it. You came together as a family to experience this trauma so that each person can realize it’s in the family and ask why this is going on? Just having this thought will provide each of you with support.
Gloribet says this trauma had a great effect on me. I put my life and health at risk constantly, but I’ve always been very protected. Now I’m healing and growing spiritually from what I lived. Is there a spiritual component to the pain in my father’s side of my family? Is the cause of this generational trauma more spiritual than psychological?
The Council says it’s always spiritual. It comes into your human life as a psychological problem or challenge, but your spirit chooses this challenge in order to work its way through it. Every member of your family has a different reason for going through this trauma, but you all came together to offer support you can feel on an energy level.
Gloribet asks: How can I help my family break from this trauma and give my aunt’s children a chance at a life filled with love and light rather than anger and pain? The Council says you can’t change anyone else. Your cousins will go through what they need to go through until they come to a place of understanding and learning. How you can help others in your family not have to go through this trauma is by treating everyone with kindness, empathy, understanding, and love. Don’t always focus on this problem in your family and talk about it. You’ll teach the younger generations through your actions and let these people know there’s someone there for them to speak about this trauma if they choose.
Gloribet asks if her helping with this family trauma is part of her chosen spiritual path and will help her with her personal growth. The Council says if your path has been difficult, it was chosen by you in spirit. Of course you’re on the right path. Will you get to where you want to go? Yes, when you show kindness and love and accept people for the way they are.
Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Gloribet and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Tell Me About My Kundalini
This post answers a question for The Council from a reader named, Luana, who asks about her kundalini. She says the electricity she feels is very real and she feels she has to control all her emotions. Luana closes by asking for help.
The Council says the kundalini is an energy center in your first chakra you can awaken through meditation or visualization, working with different colors of each chakra. The electricity you feel won’t make your hair stand up or hurt you in any way. And many people believe working with kundalini energy requires controlling your emotions.
When you learn to work with kundalini energy you bring it about by visualizing your energy rising from one chakra to another. You do this slowly and visualize each step. You’ll get a tingling feeling, but there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Bring your kundalini up to the heart chakra and stop there. When your kundalini comes into your heart you’ll feel a lot of love, you’ll be able to forgive more, and you’ll be aware of accepting more love in your life for yourself and others.
There are myths that when you bring the kundalini energy all the way up your spine to the top of your head and beyond you can travel to other planes and other lives, but we want your to know you don’t have to work with your kundalini to do that. You can also accomplish this with meditation and visualization.
If you do the chakra breathing we recommend in another post, the kundalini energy will rise by itself without any special effort on your part.
Go slow with your exploration of your kundalini energy. In a past life you dabbled quite a bit in the occult, you were taken with its power, and did what you would consider some not very nice things. In your current life we recommend you go slowly with this energy and only do good.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Luana and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
Ask The Council a Question
If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
Finding Your Way Around the Blog
Home Page
The left-hand column on the Home page contain a long chronological series of posts with the most recent on top. Each post begins with a title. Clicking on a post title will take you to a blog page dedicated to that particular post. Following each post is a Like button where you can indicate to us and other readers if you like the post.
The footer section of each post identifies the date the post was published, the Categories the post has been assigned to, the keyword/keyphrase Tags assigned to the post, and a Comment link. If readers comments on a post, the Comments link will indicate the number of comments. If a post has no comments yet, the Comment link text appears as “Leave a Comment”.
Clicking on the Comments link takes you to a Comment text box on a post page dedicated to that post. Here you can type a comment in the text box and click the Post Comment button to have your comment displayed just below the text box. If you are replying to someone else’s comment, your comment will appear indented underneath the comment you are replying to.
At the bottom of the left column on the Home page is a ‘Previous Entries’ link that will take you to a page with a list of earlier posts.
Blog Features
The right-hand column of most blog pages contains this Welcome message. Below the Welcome message in the right-hand column are some useful features:
Email Subscription: Use this to subscribe to blog posts. You will receive an email notification with a link back to the blog each time a new post is published.
Search: Type a keyword or phrase and click the Search button to get a list of posts in the left column that contain the keyword or phrase.
Archives: The Archives list indicates the number of posts for each month listed. Clicking on the link for a month will display in the left column of the page a list of the posts published that month.
Categories: This is a list of keywords used to categorize posts. Posts can be included in more than one category, if applicable. Clicking on a category link will display in the left column a list of posts assigned to the category you selected.
Navigation Bar
The Navigation Bar at the top of each page contains a link to the blog Home page and links to the following additional pages:
Welcome: A link that displays this Welcome message in the left column (and the right column). At the bottom of the Welcome message is a Comment box where you can post a general comment about the blog or ask The Council a question.
Questions & Answers: Use this link to display a list of introductions to our longer posts, most of which are responses to reader questions. This is an easy way to check out these more in-depth posts. They are listed in chronological order with the most recent post on top. Clicking on the post title will take you to the page where you can read the complete post.
Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 