Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Why Don’t I Have A Good Relationship With My Mother?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Ilona, who asks about her relationship with her mother.

Ilona: I experienced difficulties that were a great challenge for me from the time I was young. My mother always perceived me negatively and didn’t show me as much love as my two sisters.

Council: You set this experience up yourself in spirit. From the very beginning you wanted to learn the lesson of independence, the lesson of accepting others for who they are, you wanted to learn about boundaries, and you wanted to learn how to let go of things and move your life in the direction you wanted. As a young child you began to have feelings that perhaps you weren’t good enough, feeling you weren’t accepted, and so your path began.

Ilona: I’d like to know why my mother doesn’t need me in her life? Why is she pushing me away? Did I hurt her in any way?

Council: There’s nothing you’ve done to hurt your mother, but in spirit, before you came into this reality, you and your mother set up the kind of relationship you’re having. What feels to you like your mother is pushing you away was an agreement you made with her so that your life would be difficult and you’d have to be stronger. And in finding your strength you’d feel very proud of yourself.

In 2020 my mother had a stroke, and in the first few months I felt like our relationship was getting better. That was until my youngest sister moved in with her. Since then my relationship with my mother has been tested again.

Council: Go back to this time when your mother had her stroke and you thought your relationship was improving. How did you feel about this? How do you remember this time? This is the feeling you’re looking for again, but you set it up so you’d feel this way whether you had your mother’s approval or not. This was a taste to remind you of what you were looking for, and then it was taken away. This was all your choice on a spiritual level.

Ilona: After my youngest sister moved in, my mother doesn’t respond to my messages, and doesn’t want to talk to me when my sister isn’t there. I suspect my sister doesn’t want me to have a nice relationship with my mother and only wants to keep my mother to herself.

Council: Whether this is what your sister wants or not, how do you feel about your relationship with your mother? It’s up to you to make up your mind and go in the direction of what you want to happen. It’s a lot of work to look at this relationship and decide if this is what you want. Is it too difficult? Or can you look at it and learn your lesson and feel good about yourself, whether you have your mother’s or your sister’s approval or closeness with them.

What can you find about yourself that makes you feel good? Is it somewhere else in a different relationship? Can you accept what your mother and sister do,  send them love, and let go? If you can’t send love, can you just let go? Because what you’re looking for isn’t to be found in this relationship. This relationship is to get you to look more at yourself, to find out about yourself and the kind of person you are, what you’ll allow, and what you won’t allow. It’s about boundaries. The bottom line is you’re supposed to learn about yourself, love yourself, and feel good about what you accept, and what you don’t accept.

We’re not sent to Earth to suffer and feel horrible. We’re sent here to look at these lessons and to find a way of dealing with them, whether letting it go to make you feel good, or whether it’s pushing forward to see what you can do. When you realize you can’t change another person, can you accept them for who they are? See them and speak to them when you feel like it, or completely walk away. These are all decisions you wish to make. You wish to take your life in the direction you find more comfortable and more loving for yourself.

Ilona: Why is my youngest sister so manipulative?

Council: It’s the part she chose to play and that you both set up and agreed to in spirit. So if she’s manipulative, do you want this in your life? Do you wish to fight against this? Or can you accept your sister for who she is and know that she has her own lessons to learn from this kind of behavior? And then not focus on how manipulative she is, but how – now that you see it – that’s something you don’t want around you, and move forward appropriately.

Ilona: What can I do to improve my relationship with my mother?

Council: Always send your mother and your sister the energy of love, whether you understand them or not. And decide to be there for them when they want you to be there, or completely let go. You must make the decision. Remember you can’t change another person. You can accept them for what they’re doing because you don’t know what they’re trying to learn in their reality. Focus on yourself and what you want, and move in that direction.

Ilona: Is there any hope for me?

Council: There’s always hope. On an energetic level you can picture them changing. Picture them calling you. Picture them asking you to meet with them. You must do the work on an energetic level first. You can do this if it’s what you want, but you first have to decide what you want. Work energetically with them and you’ll see the change begin to happen. There’s nothing you can do physically in your reality to get them to change. You can see the change happen when you constantly focus on how you want your life to be.

Ilona: Is there anything I should know right now?

Council: The most important thing is to concentrate on yourself. See how your relationship with your mother and sister is going. Decide what you want. Do you want a relationship? Do you not want it? Then work energetically. Even if you decide it’s not what you want, picture your relationship going in different ways, but happily. Imagine they’re happy without you in their lives and you’re happy without them in your life. Always come from a place of love, letting go, and everyone feeling the happiness and joy that’s intended when you learn lessons.


Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording (we apologize for the quality of this recording) to hear all The Council’s guidance for Ilona and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

April 7, 2022 Posted by | Acceptance, Agreement, Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Decision Making, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How Can I Processes My Childhood Abuse?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Denisa, who asks about her childhood trauma. She says, I learned from The Council I chose this experience, but no matter how hard I try, I don’t know how to process it. The Council says, So you’ve learned about the trauma. Learning what you’ve gone through is enough to let the trauma go. Just knowing you created it to feel what it was like to go through it and change it to make it better.

Many people will ask, How do I process this trauma? And every day they think about it over and over in order to process it. Thinking about your trauma over and over only keeps you locked into it. We suggest not thinking about your trauma. You may feel this is strange advice, but when you don’t have those traumatic thoughts and pictures in your mind, it’s easier to go through it. It’s easier to process it by understanding you created this trauma for whatever reason and that’s it – the end. Don’t stay in your trauma thinking there’s some long drawn out purpose to it or process in it. There isn’t.

Instead of thinking about your trauma and how to get rid of it, leave it alone. Let it go. Take your mind and focus on other things, joyful things, things you wish to create in your life because thinking about that, you’ll create it. That’s the way you get through this trauma.

Denisa says, I’ve been working on myself a lot and sometimes I’m grateful for that experience, and sometimes I feel lost and don’t know what to do next. The Council says working on yourself doesn’t mean you go looking for all the things that are wrong with you. We suggest working on yourself by taking a positive attitude. When you have these positive thoughts, and when you can smile and feel good, that’s how you’re creating a better life for yourself.

Denisa says, I’d like to heal the pain I experienced as a child and move on. The Council sees you’ve gotten through this experience. The only pain you still experience is what you cause yourself by thinking about the trauma and remembering it over and over. You’re now creating more pain for yourself, which is keeping you in that painful situation. Change your thoughts. That’s how you let the pain go.

Denisa says, I haven’t spoken to my father in over 10 years because of the way he treated me. I’ve tried to connect with him in the past, but he’s very self-centered and manipulative, so I completely cut off contact with him. Do you think it’s okay that I don’t want to be in touch with him? The Council says of course it’s okay. He’s showing you what you need right now about how he is, and there’s no joy for you in that relationship. It’s what you’ve worked out in spirit. He’d create more uncomfortable feelings so you could walk away and let it go. This is part of him helping you to let go of that part of your life. Being around him wouldn’t make it easier. For what the two of you have worked out, communicating with your father will keep you in the trauma. It’s fine to let your relationship with him go.

Denisa asks if she and her father agreed go through this trauma on a spiritual level and The Council says, Of course. The agreement was to bring this trauma in and create an uncomfortable situation to learn from it and to see if you’re both in a place to heal it, or because of what’s going on in your lives, the healing wasn’t possible by staying together. And so one or both of you would create a situation where you can’t get along, and that’s the way you let go of this trauma, by not being around it. Stop keeping this in your mind and actively thinking about it. This is a gift that you give to each other to move on now.

Denisa asks what lessons did my father and I want to take from this experience? The Council says to learn about abuse, to learn about forgiveness, to learn about boundaries, and to learn creating joy in your life is what your life is all about. You don’t come here to suffer and be miserable. You come here to find a way to experience joy in this lifetime, to create it for yourself, and to help others find the joy they want. Help others in little ways to feel this joy. That’s your purpose.

Denisa asks if she and her father shared any past lives together. The Council sees a past life in Ireland where you were male cousins running an inn, and that was a very good life for both of you. You went through hardships. At one time there wasn’t enough food or enough money. There was a lot of community fighting. You learned to stick together and work through these diffuculties.

In your current life you wanted to understand how you’d handle another difficult situation, which was created by the abuse. Could you work through this? And does working through this abuse mean it’s okay to let it go and experience your life differently and seperately? That’s what’s going on now.

When Denisa finds herself focusing on the abuse that took place in her life, it’s a good idea to find something more pleasant to focus on. She can even think about the past life in Ireland where she had a very good life with the man who was her father in her current lifetime. Completely let go and know you’ve gone through this challenge of abuse. This separation is the way you both spiritually found to handle it. Now stop thinking about it and focus on creating how you want the rest of your life to be.


Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Denisa and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council you’re own question by typing it into a Comment box that appears at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

October 13, 2021 Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Helping Others, Life Purpose, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What About My Relationship with an Annoying Friend?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Amy, who has a friend she finds draining and borderline toxic. This friend doesn’t seem to be aware of my time or feelings. She’s upset when I don’t visit her every time she calls. She talks about herself nonstop. And she doesn’t respond when I mention something about myself.

The Council imagines Amy feels like this is a question about making boundaries, but it’s not just boundaries. It’s about you experiencing a past life with this person where they were a very strict parent that punished you a lot. You were brought up almost like a slave to do whatever your parents wanted.

In your current lifetime you wanted to experience this very annoying behavior so you could learn to speak up and work through it. Have you told this person how their behavior affects you? How you don’t have the time to always be there for them? Have you said no when this person asked for your help? When it becomes too much, when you’re drained and your energy field gets pulled out of you by this other person, there’s really nothing you can do to stop it. But you can make yourself unavailable. And besides that, you must speak up. This is what you wanted for your current life.

You don’t need to help this person with everything that comes up. If you’re embarrassed or annoyed you have to stop what this person is doing when they’re doing it. You need to bring this behavior to their attention. If they laugh it off or complain, you can say this is how I feel. This is annoying. I have other things to do and I’d appreciate it if you stopped. Remember you’re not in control of how the other person handles your request, but you can still withdraw from them when this stuff is going on.

We recommend using the chakra breathing meditation to balance and align your chakras, particularly your throat chakra. This will help you get over the fear of saying what you want because in this previous life you weren’t able to do that. In your current life you can do this because you’ve created you’re life differently this time.

This person is being the way they are because they’ve agreed to help you learn how to speak up. In their human reality this person might not remember this, but their higher self knows they’re going to drive you crazy until you speak up. And when you let this person know how annoying they are, you can teach them to be gentler and more understanding because this is what you agreed to.

Amy says she finds this person so selfish and exhausting. I don’t mind being this type of friend to people, but this particular person is under my skin like no one else. The Council says your higher self knows what you want to do. You’ll get more and more annoyed, crazy, and frustrated, then hope this will just go away, but that isn’t how you set this up.

Amy says she’s trying to draw boundaries, which has been difficult for her in the past, but this doesn’t seem to last. I don’t want to yell or hurt this person’s feelings. The Council says you don’t have to yell or hurt their feelings, but you do need to speak the truth. This is annoying. This is draining. You hurt my feelings when you criticize me in front of other people. You are speaking the truth and that’s a wonderful thing. Are you brave enough to do this?

Amy says as she continues to raise her vibration this person might just vibrate out of her life altogether. The Council says she’s not going to vibrate out of your life until you learn your lesson and speak up for yourself. Your lesson is in front of you big time, and you can change this by speaking up.

Listen to what we’ve said about setting boundaries and more importantly, about speaking up for yourself. Then this person might just disappear out of your life because she’ll have to find someone else that will put up with her behavior until she learns (and maybe from you) that it’s not polite to behave this way to people.

Look how all these people are banging their heads against the wall because they’re not getting what they came here to learn. Life happens and you concentrate on things in a different way than when you planned it in spirit. You’re not seeing what’s truly going on. Just remember we’re here to bring love into each experience by showing kindness and empathy to people and try to understand what they’re going through, even if they annoy the heck out of you. When you understand these people are also spirit that has baggage and hard lessons, you also understand you agreed to help these people. And these people are here because they’re helping you, even if you don’t get it yet. It’ll all turn out good in the end. All is well.


Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all the guidance for Amy and the rest of us, or ask The Council your own question.

If you like this post please click the LIKE button in the section below the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

December 11, 2020 Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Chakras, Channeling, Helping Others, Love, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Vibration | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Questions About an Abusive Separated Husband

This post answers questions from a reader named, Jolanda, who says 18 months ago she ended an 8 year relationship with her verbally and emotionally abusive husband, but because they have a child together they communicate almost daily, which gives him opportunities to manipulate her emotions.

The Council doesn’t think it’s necessary to have contact with your husband almost daily. It’s something you need, but your husband doesn’t. Is this because you don’t want to let go of your husband? If this relationship is hurtful, why would you want to stay in it? You can co-parent a child without having daily communication with your spouse.

One of the lessons you’ve created for yourself in this lifetime is protecting yourself and learning how to make boundaries. The Council says they don’t see this boundary-making happening. There’s no need to punish yourself. If you can begin setting these boundaries you’ll feel a little more powerful and you’ll allow the relief and healing to come into your life.

The Council says they don’t see a reconciliation with the husband occurring at this time. Recognize him as a spirit on his own path and learning his own lessons. You feel the love for him because you recognize him as a spirit. Wherever he is on his path, you can love him and let him go, and make the boundary to protect yourself, and change your life to a more powerful and peaceful one.

Jolanda says she and her husband agreed a few weeks ago they weren’t getting back together and she feels betrayed that he’s apparently moved on with a new girlfriend. The Council asks Jolanda to find the energy to understand this agreement between the two of them. And if he changes his mind and says he wants to be with her again, can she make the boundary and say, “No. Enough. I can’t be in this type of relationship.” Instead of waiting to see where your husband is in this relationship, make your own boundaries. Think about how you’ll move forward and how you can get free from this relationship and find the happiness you wish for?

Jolanda says she’s pining for the love she had with her husband and wishing for someone else to love, but feels like she’ll never love anyone but her husband. The Council says the love she and her husband had isn’t there right now because there are lessons Jolanda needs to learn. Wishing for someone else to love is a wonderful direction to go in. Focus on this. What kind of person do you want in your life, down to every detail you can think of? And be ready to let this relationship in? When you can focus more on the new person you want in your life, things will change in this direction.

Jolanda says she feels her marriage was a divine bond and that she and her husband are deeply connected at a soul level. The Council says of course there’s a soul connection. This relationship was all agreed to in spirit so you could discover the role of independence, the role of boundaries in your life, the role of speaking up for yourself, and the role of learning how to protect yourself.

The Council closes by telling Jolanda: When you begin to love yourself enough to protect yourself; when your begin to believe there’s another way, and there’s more for you, and the soul who is your husband needs to go on with his lessons; when you begin to focus in a whole new direction on what you truly want in your life; The Council promises Jolanda her life will begin to change for the better.

Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you like this session, please consider clicking the Like button in the section below the recording to let us and our other readers know. Thanks.

October 7, 2018 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Am I Working Through a Past Life Connection with My Boss?

This post answers questions for The Council from an Anonymous reader who has a tumultuous relationship with their boss an wants to know if they have a past life connection with this person and they’re trying to work through it?

The Council sees a past life in England where you were both friends, running a general store, and having mistrust for one another. What you’re trying to accomplish in your current lifetime is to work together, but with a different kind of understanding.

Can you speak honestly with your boss the way you weren’t able to in the lifetime in England. If you’re uncomfortable how you’re being treated in your current life or there’s misunderstandings, it’s for your growth to speak up about these things. Your boss, if he wishes to grow spiritually, has to get to a place where he listens and tries to understand your point of view. There’s lots of communication the two of you wish to work out in your current relationship.

Anonymous asks why their boss insists on giving them work while they’re on vacation. The Council asks if you’re able to speak to your boss about this. And The Council asks if Anonymous respects themself enough to put up boundaries to let their boss know that when you’re on vacation, you won’t be available to do this work? Can you trust in what you deserve and make these boundaries? As long as you’re unable to give voice to these difficulties, they will continue.

Anonymous says they’ve tried to use a pendulum to get answers, but sometimes it doesn’t seem accurate and they want to know if this is a valid way to get insight? The Council says you’re able to get the pendulum to give the answer you want by using your mind and your energy.

The Council says when you want answers, the best way is to sit quietly and think of the problem, then let the problem go. When you can sit quietly and relax into the silence, the answers to your problem will come to you.

Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you like this post, please click the Like button in the section after the recording to let other readers know. Thanks.

July 21, 2018 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Decision Making, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers, Reincarnation, Relationships | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What if My Interest in Spirit as a Distraction from “Reality”

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Malia, who says her navel chakra feels weak, my will feels blocked, and I’m overly enmeshed with my family.

The Council says the reason for Malia’s blocked third or navel chakra is in many prior lives she had to do what she was told in her families. She had no say in what direction her life went. In her current lifetime it’s Malia’s intention to heal this situation. She wants to feel independent and make her own decisions.

The Council says Malia has created a situation where she’s enmeshed with her family and now she needs to figure out what’s going on in her day to day life rather than focusing so much on her navel chakra. Is there a way she’s able to handle her circumstances differently? Is she able to make protective boundaries so she doesn’t feel herself getting pulled into everyone’s world? The Council says the reason Malia’s having this experience right now is so she can learn from it and change it.

The Council says the reason Malia’s enmeshed with her family is her day to day choices. Her greatest power in the current lifetime she’s creating is her minute to minute decisions. Why does she allow herself to be pulled in to her family’s drama? Why does she create these experiences? By looking at her circumstances she’ll be able to find new ways to deal with them. She’s created these situations to learn independence, to speak for herself, make decisions, and make boundaries. Boundaries is a big lesson for her in this lifetime.

Malia says she feels insecure about her capacity to be independent. The Council says she has the capacity, the power, and the strength to be independent. That is what she’s chosen to learn in this lifetime. She’s created situations where she does’t feel independent so she can learn to overcome them.

Malia says she’s afraid she’s using her interest in spirit as a scapegoat rather than working on the reality she’s manifesting. The Council says spirit isn’t Malia’s scapegoat. As she meditates or intuitively pays attention to feelings and ideas that come to her, that is her higher self helping handle her challenges. This isn’t using spirit as a scapegoat. This is learning from her higher self.

Bob suggests Malia may mean she’s using her interest in spirit to keep from focusing on day to day choices The Council asked her to focus on. The Council says when you realize who you truly are as a spirit in a physical body, that is the most important thing. Your day to day choices becomes clearer when you understand this.

Bob asks The Council if they can think of a reason why Malia might be having this fear of working on her reality and having spirit as a scapegoat? The Council says the desire to stand up to people, be independent, face confrontation, and learn to say no are with Malia from other lifetimes. Rather than face these situations on a day to day basis she can believe that concentrating on spirit doesn’t allow her to change the experiences she’s having.

Intuitively Malia knows she has to face these challenges because this is what she’s created them for. The part of her that’s afraid to face these challenges will concentrate on what she thinks of as spirit and takes her away from what she has to do to have a different experience.

The Council recommends daily meditation, even if it’s only five minutes, and coming up with affirmations that remind her who she truly is as a spirit in a physical body. Read about spirit and the reason we’re here on Earth. As she feels more in tune with who she is, she’ll be able to handle her day to day experiences. Family and other relationships will become clearer.

Listen to our entire 11-minute audio session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Malia and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.

April 18, 2018 Posted by | Audio Content, Chakras, Challenges, Channeling, Choice, Decision Making, Intuition, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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