Recently we published a post titled, Whether to Leave an Abusive Relationship, answering Jolanda’s questions about her relationship with her husband. After reading that post Jolanda had some follow-up questions and the current post answers those questions.
Jolanda begins by saying she was inspired to ask her questions by listening to the teachings of Abraham and that prior to hearing these teachings she felt leaving her husband was her only option. But she’s heard Abraham repeatedly say something like the following:
“Don’t get out of a relationship until you can be strong and happy within yourself, no matter what is going on around you. If someone makes you go out of the Vortex, just get back in. Don’t let someone upset your ability to be happy and be in the Vortex.”
Jolanda says she resonates to this and realized her problem was really her difficulty being happy when her husband was unhappy. She adds:
“Abraham cautions that if we don’t get ourselves right before leaving a relationship, we’ll just get into the same type of relationship again and again, until we learn our lesson.”
Jolanda asks The Council’s opinion on this, considering their answers in the earlier post seemed to suggest it was her intention she find the strength to protect herself and her children by leaving her husband. She says:
“I know I haven’t learned how to be happy while others are unhappy, which is why I feel that my husband is the absolute best partner I could possibly have at this time, because he’s in my face every day, being unhappy with me, and pushing my buttons. What better way to learn to get happy no matter what is going on around me?”
The Council has a lot to say to Jolanda about her situation, but it boils down to the following quote:
“When you realize something is not bringing you joy (because that is what you are wishing to experience) then you have the ability to start making another choice, to start making a plan on how you would do this if you’re not ready to do this right now. But there is nowhere/anywhere where Abraham or any other spirit would say stay there if you are miserable. It’s like, stay there if you have to till you get the strength to make another choice.”
When the session was finished we did a Google search on “Abraham Hicks abusive relationship” to get Abraham’s views on this subject instead of Jolanda’s view of what Abraham was saying. What we came up with was a 7-minute YouTube video titled, “Is it time to leave?”, which we reproduce below. The woman speaking with Abraham is in a situation similar to Jolanda.
And while Abraham does emphasize the importance of working on yourself to improve your vibration before leaving a relationship so you don’t attract a similar relationship into your life, they add that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to take action. They say:
“The story we like best is: You’re sitting on a park bench and you’re feeling fear, and you don’t really know if there’s a monster in the bushes or if you just think there’s a monster in the bushes. And we say, in any event, move away from the monster.”
The Council appears to understand that Jolanda chose to be in this abusive relationship with her husband for the specific purpose of developing the strength in this lifetime to leave him and protect herself and her children. The Council adds more than once it’s Jolanda’s choice whether she actually leaves her husband on not, and they are merely reminding her of her pre-birth intention.
Listen to our entire 22-minute session with The Council (below) to hear Jolanda’s follow-up questions and The Council’s answers for her and anyone in a similar situation.
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named Jolanda who says it’s taken her a long time to realize her husband (who is the father and step-father of their children) is verbally and emotionally abusive to her and their stepchildren.
Jolanda asks if she’s right to stay with her husband and The Council says there was a pre-birth agreement they would come together in this lifetime. They see previous lifetimes where Jolanda had experienced a lack of courage and in this lifetime she desires to learn to be a protector of herself and her children. The Council adds that her children are part of this agreement and it’s their purpose to push Jolanda to become the protector she wants to be.
The Council asks if Jolanda feels it’s safe for her children to be around her husband, or is it time to move on to protect them. The Council says these questions are there to push her in the direction she wants to go. And they add Jolanda doesn’t need to grow any more to realize the relationship with her husband is an abusive one.
The Council says Jolanda’s spirit wants to experience the other side of the coin – the kind of partner she’d feel unconditional love with and feel her children are safe, growing, and happy. They say it’s her choice and the lesson to protect herself and her children is right in front of her.
Jolanda says it’s difficult to be yelled at, blamed, ignored, and devalued by someone who means the world to her. And The Council asks if she believes by staying in this relationship she’ll acquire the strength she needs and the love she wants.
The Council advises Jolanda to love herself and her children and put herself on a path where she experiences this, and to picture herself as strong and happy, having a loving partner and happy children.
The Council says if Jolanda stays in this relationship it will stay the way it is. This is the way she created this relationship – to stay this way until she finds the strength to change it.
Listen to the entire 11-minute session (below) to hear all The Council’s guidance for Jolanda.
This post is inspired by questions about a relationship from a reader who goes by the name Aquarius 4. He recently had a private phone session with us which brought up more questions that he’d like us to answer in a post.
Because Aquarius 4 discusses several different subjects that relate to material we discussed in our phone session, his comment can seem a little difficult to follow. The basis of his story is a problematic relationship with a woman in this lifetime that he’s experienced in other lifetimes.
Toward the end of our session with The Council they say Aquarius 4 won’t rid himself of this woman or the problems he’s experiencing with her in his current life. They are here to be experienced, The Council says. They say the connection with this woman is strong because the two of them have a spiritual desire to heal their relationship.
The Council advised Aquarius 4 he must take his focus off these past lives. They are there to provide information about what’s happened and what’s desired, but constantly focusing on what went wrong in those lives won’t fix the problems he’s having with this woman is his current reality.
The Council says to focus on what went right, no matter how brief it was, and focus on what he desires. When Aquarius 4 is able to create more of what he desires in his current lifetime, The Council says that’s when he’ll see change and feel more at peace.
The Counsel advises Aquarius 4 not to pressure himself to heal this relationship right now. They say healing will happen when they both feel safe and are able to look at the situations around them and overcome them.
At the end of our session The Counsel says Aquarius 4’s letter is full of questions and fear in the beginning, but by the end he sees himself handling and acknowledging things differently. They add that through this situation with this woman he has already begun to grow and is on the path he wants his life to be on.
The Council’s parting words are to be present, focus your mind, and feel your heart. They ask what Aquarius 4 has created in his reality and what he wishes to create? They advise seeing his situation as he wants it, feel the love, and he’ll bring this into his reality.
Listen to our entire 19-minute session with The Council below to answer Aquarius 4’s questions.
This post is inspired by a question from a reader named T. who asks The Council the purpose of a beautiful soul in her life who happens to be a co-worker and married to another woman.
T. says she’s never felt so free and content just knowing he exists and feels unconditional love for him. She’s unable to see any unhappiness in his marriage, and while she knows he feels something for her, T. has no idea what this is. She asks for signs of his feelings, but finds them confusing.
T. wonders if she shouldn’t give energy to the idea of being with him one day, or sit back and wait for the right time to be with him. She asks The Council why they have come together, if they’ve lived past lives together, and what is his purpose in her life?
The Council asks T. why she would want to give up this unconditionally loving relationship and they add this is the reason we have come to this physical reality. She has created this relationship in her life and she needs it.
The Council asks if T. must have more, or if she’s able to appreciate the relationship she’s having right now? Does she want to come between this man and his wife?
The Council feels confident T. will create whatever she wants. Perhaps she’ll create an affair with this man – whether it ends well or not will depend on how she creates it.
The Council says T. is able to create a situation where this man leaves his wife. Or is T. able to enjoy this relationship, taking what she finds there, and create her very own partner without separating this married couple? The Council says there isn’t any judgement of her whichever she chooses. What feels better to her?
The Council says T. and the co-worker have lived past lives together and he’s in her life now to help her get in touch with loving feelings that will help her create what she desires. Will T. take the love she’s created in this relationship and create a new relationship where she’s able to share these feelings with someone else, and still remain friends with this co-worker? Or does T. want to create what she desires with this man she works with?
The Council says it’s very important for T. to focus on the feelings and emotions that are uplifting for her and then choose whether she’d like to share this love with her co-worker, or create someone new in her life to share this love with.
This is a choice The Council says wants to be made (presumably in spirit). As they see it, this choice was discussed before coming into this physical reality when T. was in spirit, and it was her wish to see how she could create loving feelings wherever she goes, whether it be in an intimate relationship or with family, friends, co-workers, etc.
The Council says this situation is not about creating the right partner for T. It’s about creating loving feelings in all her relationships.
Listen to the entire 13-minute session with The Council to get the benefit of all their guidance for T.
This post is inspired by questions from Christine, who says she’s having a difficult time after ending a relationship she was in last year.
The Council says what Christine considers love and what her ex-boyfriend considers love is not the same. He felt love for Christine involved controlling her and keeping her where she was. He thought this was for Christine’s own good and for her protection, but it was more that he could feel in control and safe.
This was overwhelming for Christine and wasn’t allowing either of them to be the spiritual beings they truly are. The Council feels the ex-boyfriend’s challenges of anger and his need for control fed his insecurity and prevented him from bringing in the love his spiritual being desired to experience. Under these circumstances Christine’s higher self gave her the strength to put an end to the relationship.
The Council says it’s understandable Christine will feel depressed over ending this relationship, but they suggest she look at her knowledge it needed to end, how she removed herself from the situation, and what she has learned so she doesn’t fall into the same situation again.
The Council advises Christine to begin creating the kind of relationship she wants by imagining how this relationship feels and what it looks like. By changing her focus from the past to the present and future, Christine will be able to move forward in her desired direction. She can let go of the fear her next relationship will duplicate what she’s just come through and begin to think about what she’s learned from this relationship. She now knows the danger signs of being manipulated.
The Council says Christine should honor herself for learning the lessons this relationship offered and how she freed herself from it rather than stay until it became even more challenging. She’s many steps ahead of where she could have been. Christine’s ex-partner will go on to learn his lessons another way; perhaps with another partner, or being very lonely, but these are his challenges, not Christine’s.
The Council says this relationship was pre-planned in spirit by Christine and her ex-boyfriend and if she must think about it rather than focusing on the new relationship she wants to create, she should think about it with joy rather than depression. Her ex-boyfriend agreed in spirit to push Christine to develop and learn from this experience that she deserved better and needed to protect herself. And Christine had a desire to learn how to take care of herself in a severe situation.
The Council sees in Christine’s future she will have the opportunity to help another woman in a similar situation and they advise her to learn all she can from the relationship with her ex-boyfriend so she can help this woman. The Council says this is a more productive focus and it will allow her to create a more loving experience for herself.
The Council makes the interesting point toward the end of the session that when souls return to the world of spirit, they will meet the souls who put them through these horrible experiences in their physical reality and they will love them and say thank you for presenting them with these opportunities to grow.
Listen to the entire 21-minute session (below) to experience all of The Council’s guidance for Christine and the rest of us.
This post answers several questions from a reader named Sarah who’s 23 years old and relatively new to thinking about her spirituality. She begins her questions by asking The Council for some general clarity on the nature of things and her path to intimate love.
Sarah explains how her deeper appreciation for self-love and love in general has caused her to question the meaning of twin flames and soul mates, and whether she can create them in her life. And she describes a very close male friend who seems meant to be something important to her, but she doesn’t feel that drawn to him as a boyfriend.
Sarah asks if this young man is her twin flame or soul mate because she wants to know if she should try and create these in her life, or sit back because he’s the one. She asks how much of her situation is pre-determined spiritually and how much she controls as a human being?
The Council’s Answers
The Council starts by commenting it’s wonderful Sarah understands the importance of loving and appreciating herself rather than projecting her love onto someone else so she can feel it.
The Council addresses the question of twin flames, sometimes referred to as twin souls. After a little background which you can hear in the recording below, The Council asks if we realize we’re all the same soul, all connected, and part of the One. And they ask if that doesn’t make us all twin souls?
The Council says many people are looking for their soul mate because they believe it will be the perfect relationship, but they don’t seem to agree. They say soul mates don’t just come along in a love relationship or partnership. They can be cousins, friends, acquaintances, and they usually push you to grow and force you to a higher level of understanding, whether it’s through positive experiences or negative ones.
In response to Sarah’s question about whether she’s able to create a twin flame or soul mates in her life, The Council says she can create either or both. The Council is firm that you as a spiritual being are in charge of your life experience.
There’s some interesting discussion about the ways your spirit pre-plans what happens in your physical reality.
With regard to Sarah’s male friend, The Council advises appreciating the connection they share, and know she doesn’t have to feel drawn to him romantically. He’s in her life for whatever experiences, fun, and challenges they go through together. But as far as a love relationship is concerned, she is able to create something else if she wants.
In response to her question about whether he is a twin flame or soul mate, The Council says because they’ve shared many lifetimes together, yes he can be a twin soul and yes he can be a soul mate. But they add that we are all those things to each other.
Listen to the entire 19-minute session below for details of The Council’s answer to Sarah’s question.
This post is about a question from a reader named Susan, who was molested/raped by an older brother from 12 years old to 14, when she became pregnant with his child. Susan has learned we often enter into pre-birth agreements with other spirits to share certain experiences during a physical lifetime and she asks what agreement she made with the spirit of her brother that allowed this to happen.
The Council says Susan wanted to go through something shameful in this lifetime so she could have the experience of trying to turn it around with love. The spirit of her brother volunteered from a place of love to help her with this challenge. And Susan also wanted to experience the joy of forgiveness by forgiving her brother.
The Council says that as a spiritual being Susan is pure love and light, and from this point of view what she experienced with her brother isn’t as horrible as it sounds from a physical point of view. The Council is clear Susan chose to experience this challenge to know she’s okay whatever happens in her physical life.
The Council says if Susan feels this challenge is too much for her and she’s having difficulty bringing love into it, then she needs to remove herself from being around her brother for a while, but to take time to send him love. They say she doesn’t have to feel it; just think the thought. It can be difficult in the beginning, but sending love will change both of them for the better.
The Council says it was very brave of Susan to ask this question. They add she’s performed a valuable service and brought a lot of love into this reality by asking it. And this question will help many others in similar circumstances.
The Council says we are never alone and spirit is always sending us light and love. They advise meditating on what this love and light feels like and gradually our thoughts and feelings will begin to change. And they say this doesn’t just affect the two of them, but it affects us all.
The Council closes by reminding us that human and spirit help each other and to remember we are more than a person in a physical body. We are also spirit. And we’re here to take the love from spirit and expand it into our lives, and to know there is nothing wrong with how you experience your human life.
Listen to the recording below of the entire 18-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance. This session was longer than most and we’ve only included some of the highlights here. There’s a lot of guidance in this session and we encourage you to re-listen to it or the parts you think are worthwhile. And as always, please let us know what you think.
In this post we answer Tanya’s question about a man and their on-again off-again relationship. Back in March 2013 Tanya asked a previous question about this relationship and to answer it we published the post, Why Would Spirit Choose to Be a Human Being Who Experiences Pain.
In that 2013 session The Council predicted Tanya would get back together with this man, and she starts her current question by confirming The Council was right. They got together at the beginning of 2015 and he proposed marriage to her, but the next day he changed his mind and Tanya’s been feeling depressed about this.
The Council informs Tanya she created coming together with this man because there was something to be learned from this relationship. She asks if they see the two of them reconnecting again, but she also says they’re not currently speaking and it’s okay if they don’t speak again.
The Council restates what’s important for Tanya is to learn what her experience with this man has taught her. They do see another coming together and they say if it’s her desire to make this relationship work, there will always be a way.
The Council encourages Tanya to focus on herself now instead of waiting for this man to come back into her life. They say it’s wonderful to choose to move on, and it’s also wonderful to stay with this man. When she finds out what she’s learned from this relationship, she’ll handle the situation differently and she’ll be happier with her choice.
The Council is pretty clear there is no right or wrong path for Tanya the next time this man comes into her life. It seems the important thing is to take this time to figure out what this relationship means to teach her. And with this information it will be up to her how she handles the next time.
Listen to the entire 8-minute session to hear all of The Council’s guidance for Tanya, and let us know what you think.
This post is about questions from a reader named S. who’s learned she’s pregnant. She loves children, always wanted them, and has been determined not to have her children suffer through poverty and unhappy circumstances the way she and her siblings did.
She left the father of the fetus the day before she learned she was pregnant because the relationship was an abusive one. S. says she’s currently in school and unemployed. Recently she was told by her doctor she has endometriosis and will have difficulty getting pregnant.
S. says she’s confused. She’s aware other spiritualists say it’s bad to abort a fetus unless it’s with a loving intention. She’d like her child to have a healthy mother and father, she knows this isn’t possible right now, and feels the need for a stable career.
Just days before she learned she was pregnant S. felt great comfort in her decision to leave her ex-boyfriend, and for the first time in her life was looking forward to loving herself and creating a whole person for a future partner and family.
S. wants to know why she’s pregnant now and if aborting this fetus has been the plan all along. She’s concerned about the karmic implications of abortion, and she’d prefer this soul return to her at a time when she can offer it a beautiful life with a beautiful father.
The Council begins by telling S. that leaving an abusive relationship is a giant step for her that shows self love. Having lived through a difficult time growing up, S. made the choice with love and wisdom not to repeat similar difficulties for her future children.
The Council is clear it’s not a bad choice to abort this pregnancy if that is S.’s choice; there’s no right or wrong. It was agreed before coming to this reality that this soul would come to her as a fetus and at that time S. would decide whether or not to have the child. The soul may choose to come back at a future time, but if it decides to move on there will always be another soul ready to come forward to help S. become a mother and go through the experiences she wishes to have.
If finishing school is the thought that makes S. feel best right now, The Council says this is the direction she should go in. If the thought of having this child now and somehow having a wonderful connection with this soul even if she’s on her own feels better, The Council advises to go with that. They remind her there isn’t any right or wrong and to pay attention to the way she feels when she thinks each thought. Follow the feeling of happiness, of love, of relief, and know that she’ll have lessons either way she chooses.
The Council advises S. there is much joy ahead whatever she chooses and by looking for this joy she’ll bring it into her reality. The key is to follow the better feeling thought.
Before S. chooses she should remind herself of the choice she’s already made to leave a bad relationship. The Council reminds her this is a wonderful decision she’s made. Somehow going through different experiences growing up helped S. make this choice. When she decides whether or not to have this child, all the knowledge and the feelings she’s experienced in her life up to this point will help her choose.
Listen to the entire 16-minute session with The Council to hear their entire answer and let us know what you think.
This post is inspired by a question from Maria who asks if she’s crazy for believing she’ll marry a man she describes as her soulmate, even though he broke up with her a year ago and stopped speaking with her two months ago when he got together with someone else.
The Council says you’re never crazy for having a desire and it’s always good to honor your wishes, but sometimes you need to look at the whole situation and ask why you need to be with this particular person.
The Council says a soulmate is an important person who agrees to come into your life to work something out. They are not necessarily the greatest love of your life. Sometimes they can be a friend, a family member, or someone you just feel a closeness to. On some level Maria has agreed to have this experience with this man she’s calling her soulmate, and for now they say this relationship is over.
Maria says she knows she’ll be together in this lifetime with this person she thinks of as a soulmate, and The Council asks her if she really believes this or if it’s just something she’s hanging onto. They ask whether she’d want to create another soulmate to be with her for part or all of her life. And they add that the idea is to love everyone as you have them in your life for however long they’re in your life.
The Council says if there’s something Maria feels she needs to complete in this lifetime with this person, he can choose to return to her. But they say it’s important to understand whether this person returns or not, Maria has challenges and happiness waiting for her in the rest of this lifetime. The question is whether she will take advantage of these situations or she’ll sit back and become bitter if this person doesn’t return. The Council advises to look for this person to return if she wants, but to also look for someone new in the meantime.
The Council advises Maria to look where this journey takes her now. That’s how she pulls in what her spirit has planned for her. When Maria focuses on the love she had with this person whether he returns or not, this contributes to a more positive experience for both of them and he may desire to return. But if Maria can be available to whatever comes along, she may bring in something so wonderful that she won’t want the original person back.
The Council says the situations Maria has experienced have been put there on purpose by her spirit for her to learn what she wants. With new emotions, thoughts, and feelings they ask her to now create them in her life.
And The Council finishes the session by saying they see great happiness for Maria.
Listen to the entire 11-minute recording of the session below to get all The Council’s guidance for Maria. Let us know what you think.
This post is inspired by questions from an Anonymous reader who asks why the man she was seeing said they were together in a few past lives when she doesn’t believe this to be true, and why was he confused how he felt about her. She also asks if there’s a possibility of a reconciliation with her ex-best friend who she does feel a past life connection with.
The Council sees there have been several lives together with the man she was seeing and they ask why is this so hard to believe. They see there is a feeling of not trusting what she’s being told because this man does not have the best intentions. And they suggest the possibility of getting away from this relationship because this lack of trust is a red flag from her higher self.
The Council says by bringing love into this situation she can honestly speak about this lack of trust with this person. But because there’s a trust issue they ask her to look at other places in her life where there have also been these issues. The Council says this person is the one who is helping bring forward these trust issues in her life because that is something she wishes to heal in this lifetime. And they also say that just because they have been in several lives together, this is not a reason to be together in this life. His purpose in her life has more to do with getting her to face her issues with lack of trust.
On the subject of reconciliation with her ex-best friend The Council sees this situation coming full circle and there will be a reconnection in the future and more understanding what this relationship is about. But first she needs to work through her trust issues so that when this relationship comes around again there will be a different outcome with more understanding.
When Bob asked for any specifics on how this woman might look at her trust issues The Council used the metaphor of peeling an onion one layer at a time. When she feels this distrust they encourage her to ask what this reminds her of and see what memory comes from that. And then to ask again and again, going further back in her life, until she finds a pattern to what set off this distrust.
And once she gets to that point everything will begin to change. Her understanding of how these people came into her life to help her experience and work through these distrustful situations will allow her to be more comfortable with the people in her life.
The Council reminds her to meditate on the next step, ask why she feels this mistrust, and to remember she is spirit in a physical body. Ask herself what she was trying to experience and the answers will come.
Listen to the entire 12-minute session below to get all The Council’s guidance for this woman.
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named Persephone who asks The Council why she’s chosen to surround herself with so much mental instability and mental illness in this lifetime.
The Council is quick to complement Persephone on her realization that she’s the creator of what she experiences in her life. And then they ask if she felt there was something very wrong with these people, if she felt above this mental instability, and perhaps she felt she was better than they are.
Now she’s concerned about her own mental stability and The Council asks if she’s afraid she’s also experiencing some sort of mental illness. They say when you create life situations that are frightening to the people around you, it’s normal to think this could happen to you.
The Council says if she can look at these people and choose to focus on the parts of them that were good and loving instead of noticing something wrong with them, and appreciate them for the roles they are playing in her life so she could learn from it, then she’d be able to let go of the underlying fear she’d end up like this. This is what she intended as spirit to experience, learn from, and change.
The Council finishes the session by appreciating the confidence others have to write their questions. This allows them to be of service by helping change the focus, if necessary, in what they are going through. And they remind us to bring love into every situation. They say each person who has come into your life, no matter how short the time, has come to play a role. Send them all love, and send them on their way or welcome them into your life, but always with love.
Listen to the entire 8-minute session below to receive all The Council’s guidance. Let us know what you think.
This post is inspired by questions and comments from a reader who identifies herself as D. She says many years ago she fell in love with someone who didn’t love her back and the relationship went from friends, to enemies, to friends, and on and on for years. The Council asks D. how she see’s this happening when she looks back on this, and to focus on the aspect of what was able to bring them back to friendship again.
D. says she felt a strange connection to this man from the first moment she saw him. She’s never been able to let go of that connection and often feels stuck and depressed about it. Recently he married someone else and D. describes feeling more loss and pain. She has moved and stopped talking to him, but the thought of this man is with her no matter where she goes or what she does. She asks why her soul can’t let go and find happiness elsewhere.
The Council says D’s soul is very willing to let go, but her human part holds onto what her future could have been with this man. This leads to feelings of depression and loss because D. feels she’s just this human body rather than a spirit in her body.
The Council explains that truly loving someone is allowing them to be however they want to be, and they ask D. if she can allow this man the happiness he’s found with his wife. And can she now find this same happiness with other people who’ve agreed to come into her life for this purpose.
D. wonders if she and this man have shared past lives together and that’s why she keeps feeling connected to him. The Council says they have shared many lifetimes, but ask D. if she wants to focus on what was, or where she is now, and create her future.
The Council says this man’s role was to teach D. to let go and find love wherever she can. And they ask if she’s ready to let go and find the love she’s looking for within herself. Can she feel the love with every person who comes into her life? As she feels love for herself she will attract love from other people.
D. says she’s always known that love is eternal, and The Council says it’s at these moments that she’s remembering who she truly is as a spiritual being. They say we are all love and we want to bring this feeling into this reality.
D. seems to associate her connection to this man with feeling loss and pain rather than appreciating the time they’ve spent together that’s been good for her. The Council says D. needs to change her thoughts about this man and realize he’s a spirit in a physical body. That is what will give her relief. And then ask herself what else she wanted to experience in this lifetime. And tell herself she’s ready to experience the next part of this journey, to experience love, joy, and happiness. Can she do that?
D. asks why she feels connected to a soul who doesn’t feel connected to her at all and she asks if this connection is one-sided. The Council says the connection isn’t one-sided, it’s just that she chooses to be more aware and learn from this connection.
D. finishes by asking what she can do to stop this feeling of connection and what is the purpose of sharing this lifetime with this man. The Council says there are many purposes and at any moment she and this man were able to choose the path they wish to take.
The Council recommends what she perceives as loss, she now perceive as the love she is that she’s looking for elsewhere. Appreciate the positive aspects of this relationship when she thought it was good. Ask herself what she’s learned that is good from this relationship and how she can move forward by bringing new relationships into her life.
This session appears to have some unusually good advice for D. and the rest of us. Listen to the entire 20-minute session with The Council to get all the detail.
This post is inspired by questions from Miya who finds herself in an unwanted pregnancy. During the early stages she spoke unkindly about the baby. But now she is trying to find love in her situation and The Council says it’s wonderful she sees that her earlier thinking wasn’t in line with the love she really is.
Miya asks if the soul of the fetus understands the difficulty she’s having with the pregnancy, and The Council says the soul does know and has agreed to be part of the situation anyway.
They recommend Miya find appreciation for the people in her life, even if she feels the father of the child was abusive to her and her friends have abandoned her. The Council says all these souls are playing the part in Miya’s life that she (as spirit) wished them to play. And on some level if she can thank all these people, let go of the abusive part, and begin to picture the right people coming to her life, things will change for the better.
When I mention that Miya may give the child up for adoption, The Council says this is perfect if it’s what she and the soul of the child agree to. Miya has grown while going through this experience and her ideas will change about the kind of life she wants to live.
All of this has come about so Miya can now face these questions and choose from love, not from fear. That is why she is here.
Listen to the entire 10-minute session with The Council to answer Miya’s questions and hear all their guidance.
This post is inspired by questions from L who asks if she should get pregnant again after having an abortion. It was a difficult decision because her partner was clear he didn’t want to become a father and she was too afraid to become a single Mom. During and right after the abortion L was surprised by the love she was surrounded by and not feeling guilty towards this unborn soul.
The Council says L is one of the few people who actually feel love from the aborted soul and her spirit guides during an abortion, and they say this is exactly what everyone going through this should feel. There is no reason to feel guilty and no reason to punish yourself because you think you have done something wrong.
But now it’s a few months later and she’s experiencing a lot of sadness and regret. She suspects the abortion was to open her maternal instinct, which she thinks would have remained closed otherwise, and now she’s thinking about becoming pregnant again. The Council advises her to try and remember, even if it’s just for a short time, the feeling of love she experienced during the pregnancy and abortion, and that would help her with any decisions she needs to make.
But her partner is still afraid of becoming a father and she doesn’t know whether to give it more time or to end the relationship because she’s already 35 years old. The Council says he might be a great Dad if that’s his choice, but they remind L it’s not her place to make the choice for him.
L asks why this happened to her, how to deal with it, and if there will be another chance for children with this partner or another partner. She thinks maybe her desire for children now is her way of coping with the abortion, but The Council says being a mother is something she wants to experience. It’s up to her whether she persuades her current partner, finds a new partner, or changes her mind about getting pregnant again.
Listen to the entire 10-minute session to gain the full benefit from The Council’s guidance.
This post is inspired by questions from Julia who was married for 12 years and has been divorced for 2 years. She asks why non-monogamous relationships disturb her so much and wants to know if she should be more open to them?
Julia was monogamous in her marriage, but now has questions about open relationships as a single person. Sometimes she thinks she should try it because she gets so obsessed in her romantic relationships, but the thought disturbs her to the core.
The Council suggests Julia find the love for herself she’s looking for in relationships and asks why she wants to experience something she knows will be unpleasant in order to fit in. They also suggest Julia listen to herself and ask why make herself uncomfortable.
The Council advises more self-love, more doing for herself, and being gentle with herself to draw in the right people.
In one lifetime she was one of many wives and wasn’t made to feel special. She was lonely, didn’t receive enough attention, and that began her uncomfortable feeling she carries into this lifetime. Perhaps knowing where this feeling of uncomfortableness with open relationships comes from will make it possible to release this and work on loving herself more.
The Council says it’s fine to be in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships, but encourages Julia to choose what’s comfortable for her and ask why she’d put herself in a relationship where there’s no comfort. Choosing a monogamous relationship with someone who has similar beliefs would be easier for her.
Listen to the entire 9-minute conversation with The Council to hear all of what they had to say.
This post is inspired by a question from Jyoti who asks if she shared a life with her stillborn child? Jyoti says a lot of her family have died and she wonders if it was one of those souls wanting to come back and be part of the family again?
The Council says Jyoti has a strong connection to this soul and they have shared many lives together, but they don’t see this particular life as one of them. In a life as far back as Atlantis she worked with this soul as a teacher. During the early American Indians they left their tribe and went out on their own. During the first World War there was deciphering messages and carrying information to others. In this lifetime this soul came forward to help Jyoti understand something about this pregnancy.
The Counsel says Jyoti has a strong connection with this soul and she can connect with it through meditation to get information about this life and past lives. Instead of feeling loss for the child Jyoti experiences support and guidance from this soul. If it’s wanted, Jyoti will have another opportunity to give birth to this soul, but there is much to learn from this soul while it’s still in spirit.
Listen to the entire 8-minute session with The Council for all the details.
(Note: Bob mentions the fetus was aborted in the recording, but Jyoti mentions in a comment that this child was stillborn, not aborted. We imagine from The Council’s point of view they consider that the fetus aborted this pregnancy because it chose not to come into physical reality while Jyoti and her husband were moving around, but Jyoti feels the distinction between abortion and stillborn is important and aught to be made. We apologize for this error.)
Copyright ℗ 2015 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
This post is inspired by a question from Susan who asks if it’s more loving to let her son stay home from school when he doesn’t feel well or to force him to try to walk through his anxiety and go to school. Her son is a 12 year old sixth grader who she describes as very energetically sensitive, dyslexic, has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and sensory issues. Her son missed school on Friday and 15 minutes before going to school on Monday he developed a stomach ache. Susan is looking for guidance that will help her in situations like this. She’s concerned about his anxiety ruling him, but she also wants him to make it to the other side of his fears.
The Counsel says much of her son’s stress is related to remembering his past lives when he was abandoned, had no family, and couldn’t speak out. When he’s ready they suggest speaking to him about the help available from spirits and angels when he feels this way, and reminding him these problems aren’t what he’s experiencing now. Susan’s job is to listen to her son, show him he’s heard, remind him he has a lot of love, and each time he experiences this difficulty he gets through the day.
At some point he’ll remember his past lives and this will alleviate much of his fears. Get him to go though his fears by talking about his day. This will bring more understanding. His spirit chose to work on this problem in this lifetime and Susan has agreed to help him learn to speak, to hear and understand him, but not to solve it for him. He’ll do that himself. There should be many talks the night before school and the morning of school reminding him in this lifetime he has the gift of speech and can talk about what’s bothering him.
The Council can’t tell Susan when to let her son stay home and when he should force him to go to school. It is part of her lesson to listen with her heart and know when he can stay home and when he should go to school. Each situation is different. When she chooses to let him stay home, get him to speak about this problem. That’s your agreement in this situation. Together they will move through this.
It’s important to point out that when you force him to go to school he’s gotten through this, but Susan has to believe in herself and know when to push her son to go to school and when to stay home. Susan can’t solve this for her son. She is to be supportive and together they will work through this problem.
Susan’s fears of what happens to her son will create that so no matter what’s going on with her son Susan’s job is to see him succeeding, becoming more sure of himself, seeing him more at ease. The more Susan focuses on this the more she brings it into her reality. Between the two of them there’s a lot of fear that needs to be worked out and the Council sees this happening.
Listen to the entire 24-minute session on Susan’s question to get the full benefit of of The Council’s guidance.
Copyright ℗ 2015 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
This post is inspired by an anonymous reader who says she’s suffered over a contract with her soul mate that he’s repeatedly broken. But The Counsel says there’s no contract to break, just an agreement, and it’s time to change it, to end it, or redesign it.
She seeks a release from the suffering she’s experienced, has no interest in men she meets even though they’re interesting, says she wants out of the relationship with her soul mate, and doubts she’ll feel love again although she’d like to. The Counsel asks how she can never feel love again when that is what she truly is. It is her essence even though she chooses out of fear, frustration, and anger not to experience it.
The Counsel says the man she calls her soul mate isn’t involved with other women out of weakness, but because he’s searching for love and that’s all good. They suggest she move forward in a loving spirit and understand this is just a plan that’s taken a turn. Nothing is wrong. There’s just a different way to experience the love she thought she’d have with this man.
The Council says the most important thing to remember is that these two people agreed they would try to bring love into this reality. But there are difficult times and the question is, can you stay in the love? The Counsel believes she doesn’t feel this love for herself so they say to step away from this relationship and find it. When she finds it things will change for her. It’s possible it will be a magnet that will bring him back or she will bring in new people that are the same loving vibration.
Listen to the entire 11-minute session to hear all the details.
Copyright ℗ 2015 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named Jyoti about a wonderful pregnancy she had in early 2013 that ended in her giving birth to a stillborn baby. It tells the story of a spirit who originally planned to be her child, but just before birth agreed with Jyoti’s loving spirit to remain in the non-physical so it could learn more before coming to the physical world. She wants to try and get pregnant again and give birth to the same soul, but the pain of loosing the child left her feeling sensitive about this.
Having this soul again
Before this pregnancy she wasn’t so keen on having a child, but now all she wants is to have this soul again. She now has the understanding that all souls have purpose, pick their parents, and if they’re not ready to come into the physical they remain in the non-physical.
In a dream the spirit came to her with a message and Jyoti asks: Why did he leave us? Is he coming back? What does this message mean? Should we try again now or wait until we’re more mentally prepared?
A Strong Connection
The Council sees a strong connection between Jyoti and this spirit and while they cannot say when she should become pregnant again, if all goes as planned there’s a good chance this spirit will return to her. So they ask Jyoti to speak to the child at night before she goes to sleep, ask if it’s ready to return, tell this spirit about their life, and see what happens.
To hear the full 12-minute recording of this session, if you’re not on our website click the post title and then click on the play bar below. We look forward to your comments.
Copyright ℗ 2015 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
Using audio playlists to publish more frequent posts
It’s been a challenge to publish posts as frequently as we’d like. The process – record a session with The Council to answer a reader’s question, transcribe the recording, study the recording and transcript, and write a post to give you an idea what the session was like and how we’re understanding the material – has been somewhat time consuming.
Now that we’ve figured out how to include in a post an audio playlist of a recorded session (if your browser supports this), we hope to publish more frequent posts that make these session recordings available without the extended written content typical of most earlier posts. As time permits it’s possible we’ll update these posts with additional written content, particularly if reader/listener comments indicate an interest in our thoughts on something in the session.
Ask The Council in-person group sessions
The session this post is devoted to is different than sessions described in earlier posts. It’s a recording of a group session. These are sessions we’ve recently begun doing with small groups of people near our home on Staten Island in New York. These meetings are hosted by someone acquainted with The Council’s teachings and is interested in helping others experience The Council in person.
A typical group session
When several new people attend one of these meetings for the first time, there’s usually some general discussion about The Council and their teachings. Otherwise there’s usually an opportunity for people to comment on material from earlier sessions and on how that material might be influencing their day to day experience. Next is a short guided meditation intended to help people be more receptive to experiencing The Council, followed by the actual session with The Council, and then some post-session discussion of people’s impressions.
During the session The Council typically opens with some discussion of a topic they feel is appropriate for the people attending, and then the session is opened up to questions from participants. For the most part we expect the playlists in these posts will only include the portion of the meeting where The Council is speaking through Cynthia and participants are responding.
This group session
The title of this post refers to the subject The Council began this session with – the idea each person is responsible for what they do in the lifetime they are creating. They emphasize you are not responsible for creating the behavior of other people; you are only responsible for your experience of other people’s behavior. This can be confusing if you’re under the impression there is little or no difference between someone’s behavior and your experience of it. But The Council says there are many ways to experience someone else’s behavior and you have the free will to choose.
At the top of the playlist below (in quotes) is the name of either the first track, the track currently playing, or the most recently played track. Just beneath that is the date and place where the session occurred. Tracks are numbered, have a title indicating a main idea on that track, and the track length in minutes and seconds. The tracks should automatically play one after the other and then begin the first track again.
Play: Click triangle (►). Pause: Click icon (||) that replaces the triangle while the recording plays. Fast Forward/Rewind: Click to the right/left of the play bar during play. Mute on/off: Click speaker icon. Volume: Click bar to the right of the speaker icon.
Copyright ℗ 2014 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
This post is inspired by a question from Susan, who wants to know why some people (particularly a man she knows) experience childhood abuse or other types of trauma and end up with addictions, unemployed, and homeless; and other people (particularly Susan) move past their childhood trauma and take advantage of opportunities to improve their life.
What humans and spirit consider improvement can be very different
“But what you do not understand here is that your idea of what he needs to improve his life, and what his spirit needs to improve his life, is totally different. Is that understood?”
(Text formatted like above throughout the post represents quotations from the session)
This was intriguing and we spent most of the session getting a better understanding of what The Council meant by this. The result was some impressive insights into the relationship between who you are a human being and who you are as a spiritual being. As an added bonus The Council offered some fascinating insights into the subject of multiple realities.
The audio player below (if your browser supports it) contains a recording of the session with The Council to answer Susan’s question. The session is divided into multiple audio tracks listed below the audio player bar. To listen to the entire session select Track #1. The rest of the tracks will automatically play in order. Text above the play bar indicates the track that’s playing (or ready to play if the recording is paused). Copyright ℗ 2014 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
Play: Click triangle (►). Pause: Click icon (||) that replaces the triangle while the recording plays. Fast Forward/Rewind: Click to the right/left of the play bar during play. Mute on/off: Click speaker icon. Volume: Click bar to the right of the speaker icon.
You have no idea what spirit wishes
The Council continued from their previous comment above:
“So if you [Susan] feel that he has had several opportunities to change his life or perhaps somehow deal differently with his abuse, yes that would make sense to many. But you have no idea what his spirit wishes.
“And what we see here is that it is his wish to be in this lifetime and to experience this addiction, to experience the abuse from what you would consider an unhealthy attitude toward what he has come through.
“What you do not know is that he has experienced this before (or as we would say, now [but] in another reality) and he has experienced it where he is dealing differently with his abuse and (perhaps) handling it in (what you would consider) a much better way [in his current reality]. Is that understood?”
This post is inspired by the following question for The Council from Anne.
“Do you see me in a loving relationship with a man coming into my life? I have created the space and I am open to be with an amazing man.”
The black bar below plays a 2½ minute recording of the segment of a session with The Council to answer Anne’s question.
Play: Click triangle (►). Pause: Click icon (||) that that replaces the triangle while the recording plays. Fast Forward/Rewind: Click to the right/left of the play bar during play. Mute on/off: Click speaker icon. Volume: Click bar to the right of the speaker icon.
Keep Focused on What You Desire
The Council’s answer to Anne’s question emphasizes the importance of your focus of attention and how this relates to getting what you want in your life. The following Council quotes are session highlights to help you decide if you want to use the audio player above to listen to these comments in the context of the session. The first comment below was their response being read the first sentence of Anne’s question: “Do you see me in a loving relationship with a man coming into my life?”
“No, no, no, no, no [quickly 9-10 times]. Does she see herself in a relationship with a wonderful man coming into her life? Do you see where we’re going [with this]?”
“Talk about it… feel it… imagine it… draw pictures of it… watch romantic movies. Whatever it is that keeps your focus [on] the relationship that you want, right down to every detail that you would like, is a wonderful exercise.
“And so do we see it? Yes, we do see this. It is there in what she would consider her future.
“It is also there [in Anne’s future] that she does not meet this particular man that she would have a wonderful life with.
“It is her focus [that determines] what will be brought into her life. But if she, [as] she says, clears the space [and] focuses on this [relationship], yes we do see this for her.”
How is your attention focused?
If Anne consistently focuses her attention on the relationship and the man she desires in her life, The Council says they see this happening for her. They also mention the possibility of a future for Anne where this doesn’t happen, and The Council emphasizes Anne’s focus of attention on her desire will determine the future she experiences. The question is: what kind of focus of attention will allow Anne to experience her desired outcome?
This post is inspired by an overlooked question asked several years ago by reader named Fe, who made some interesting observations about the differences between the roles of men and women, and she asks The Council: “When All That Is conceived of and created our species for this physical reality, what was the intended nature of each gender, of their roles, and of their intimate relationship?”
“From the very beginning, when spirit created male and female it was known that as we continue through our expansion and our many many lives, that we would take part in each gender. And so we would experience being the man [and] we would experience being the woman.
“And the only thing that was pre-planned at that time was that we would have the man and the woman. We would come into this lifetime… into these bodies… and (as they say) work it day by day. There was no assumption that the male would be stronger and the female would be weaker.
“And through different periods of time the man was stronger and the woman was weaker. And the roles were reversed and the woman was stronger (and we believe you have heard stories, which are true, of the Amazons) and the man was weaker.
“The intention was to experience both and create it the way you wanted it to be. So there was no fine line that said the man will be stronger [and] the female weaker, or vice verse.
“In your recent generations many women were taught that the man was the head of the house… that a woman that was not married was an old maid… and pity the person that could not find themselves in a permanent relationship. And then there was the thought that if you did marry and did not have children, that was oh so sad.
“And so now you have seen this changing. Many women choose not to be in relationships. Many women choose to set their sights on careers, or just evolve in their own lives, whether with different partners or going forward alone.
“And so as you can see, through all these generations the roles do change; they swing like a pendulum. The most important thing right now is (of course the way we always say) to remember you’re a spirit in a physical body, and you will experience both. How you experience it is entirely up to you because you create as you go along. Is that understood?”
(The formatting above throughout this post represents The Council’s comments during our session. Text [in brackets] in these quotations has been added to improve readability and clarity when this seems useful.)
The idea some things in life are ‘meant to be’ and others aren’t, is an interesting and somewhat popular one, particularly when it comes to relationships. Lots of people who wouldn’t ordinarily admit they believe in fate or destiny seem tolerant of the idea that in close personal relationships, things are sometimes meant to be.
In this post we look at The Council’s answer to questions from Chris about what’s meant to be in her life. Although Chris’s questions are about a meaningful relationship, The Council’s answer is a reminder that you create your reality, and their answer offers helpful guidance on how you can do this. Here’s Chris’s question:
“How do I know if I’m meant to be with someone?
“I am 51 years old, am still single, and want to finally stop waiting, working toward, or wondering if I am MEANT to be with anyone.”
“I was in two long-term relationships before, one of which I wanted to work out, but didn’t.
“Then I learned to be ok and fine alone, happy, and rarely longing for someone.
“But now I feel more alone, and was wondering if ‘my time’ was finally coming, or I am just not dealing with my reality?”
The Council’s Answer
“And so she says, is she meant to be with someone, and is her time coming?
“She is the one that will decide if she is meant. She is the one that will decide if her time is coming, because… why? [Because] we are spirit in a physical body and we create our reality.
“And so from what she says, she has experienced a relationship and she has experienced being alone. And so we think for her, she should look back at both situations and focus on what she found loving and pleasant in both situations.
“And so when she can appreciate being in a relationship, and being alone (being with herself and feeling the appreciation and the love [for that]), she will then bring in someone new, someone more on the same vibration that she would be on.
“And it would be more of a relationship that would work out because if she is feeling loving and appreciation, and brings someone of that vibration into her reality, it will be a long-lasting relationship.”
“First to raise her vibration, and once that is in the vibration of love and appreciation, she will (as they say, like attracts like) bring the perfect person in for her to have a life-long relationship, if that is what she wants.
“But we would like her to know that she is not running out of time. There is nowhere it is written that she is meant or not meant to be in a relationship.
“And so, with her thoughts, and with her feelings, and her focus, she will create what she wants.”
“And so when she can focus always on that [happy memories] instead of on the doubt and the worry that time is running out, it will completely change the vibration… and what she brings in.”
(Text [in brackets] in these quotations has been added to improve readability and clarity when this seems useful.)
This post is inspired by a request from Kali, who writes that her partner (father of her two young sons) didn’t physically survive a car crash a couple months ago. She adds that she can’t accept he’s gone, her pain is unbearable, she’s desperately trying to develop herself spiritually so she can connect with the love of her life, and she’d appreciate any guidance The Council can offer.
Do You Believe You are Spirit in a Physical Body?
On November 11, 2013 we did a session with The Council to see if we could get the guidance Kali requested. The Council began this session with the following comments:
“Well first we want to say he [Kali’s partner] hasn’t gone anywhere, he is just out of his physical body.
“You are stating you are desperate and trying to develop spiritually, so first we ask you to meditate on this question: Do you believe you are a spirit here, operating in this physical body? Because that is who you truly are.
“And spirit – which is light and energy – never dies; we transition. We choose to create physical bodies to come into this environment and when we are done, we leave the physical body. But there is no dying; there is no end to spirit. Is that understood?”
—The Council Continue reading
This post describes a session with The Council in response to the comment and questions below from Beth on the subject of abortion. The session is full of thought-provoking ideas on lots of different subjects of interest to many people in addition to Beth. Particularly interesting to us is light that The Council sheds on how our spirit’s intentions often manifest in surprising and unexpected ways in our human experience.
Ordinarily we like to offer a sort of running commentary in these posts if we feel it can add some clarity to something The Council says during a session, but it seemed to make this post too long and wordy. It also seemed to place more emphasis on understanding what The Council is saying rather than on appreciating the feeling of the energy offered by The Council and spirit in response to Beth’s questions. More and more we are learning from The Council that what’s important about spiritual understanding is that it’s a focus of attention that allows you to feel in your physical experience more of the love you are as a spiritual being.
As you read through the post, see if you can feel the energy of this session resonating with your spirit. If a clear understanding doesn’t come right away, be patient with yourself and let your connection to who you are as a spiritual being shed light on the material presented here. Give yourself some time. You are always welcome to use the Comment section following the post to ask a question about this material and we’ll do our best to reply.
Beth’s Comment and Questions
“I have a question about abortions as it relates to the Soul and the Soul’s agreement…the Soul of the child, specifically.
“You see I have unfortunately had to make the decision (twice) in my life to terminate what I perceived as ‘untimely’ pregnancies.
“I have a lot of guilt around these decisions, not because of any religious reasons, but more because I am not sure what I did was the right decision for my life’s path.
“Also, I often feel sad wondering how those two Souls (or maybe it was the same Soul) feel/felt that I chose to terminate their little lives.
“I fully believe that those Souls made some type of agreement with me, but I’m wondering if you could shed light on what those agreements may have been.
“Did those little Souls know that they would play this role?
“Is it the same Soul trying to come back in?
“Would I be able to find out more about them, and who they might have become had I chosen differently?
“If we come back in similar Soul groups, could this Soul have been one that I also lost in a previous life (I believe I was pregnant when drowned)?
“I realize that these are many questions, not one, but I am grateful for your input.”
You Can Not Stop Life
Reading Beth’s comment and questions to The Council at the beginning of the session, they were quick to comment at the end of her first sentence.
“We really want to laugh here… the word abortion… what does it mean?
“Abort… Stop… Stop life?
“You can not stop life.
“It is all in choosing, and agreements, and experiences.
“And so we just wanted to add that in there.
“Beth did not stop a life… did not cut a life short… everything went as planned.”
If you’ve read our Welcome post in the right-hand column of these blog pages, you may remember The Council’s #1 teaching: all human beings are spiritual beings in a physical body. In the 4-5 years The Council’s been speaking to us through Cynthia, this is the idea they have most consistently emphasized.
We mention this in connection to a recent question for The Council from Tanya, who says she’s having the most painful experience of her life because she believes a close personal friend has broken a soul agreement he made with her in spirit.
“Do you realize you have what you believe is a soul contract — we call an agreement, not a contract — with everyone that enters your life?”
I (Bob) mentioned to The Council that Tanya seems particularly interested in a specific soul agreement with one special man who’s been in her life, and how she feels he has broken this soul agreement.
“There is no broken contract or agreement. It is something that was decided between the two of you before you even entered into these bodies. And so when you go through something that is difficult, you believe, ‘uh-oh, something went wrong, this contract is broken.’
“It is exactly the way you wanted it to be, on [the part of] both partners.”
Click here to read the rest of this post→
Maria explains her best friend is on his deathbed and she’s experiencing a lot of emotional pain about this. She is asking The Council if it is also with her permission that her friend is exiting her life, because she’s having difficulty understanding why she would agree to ‘loose’ him at this time and in this way.
There is Agreement
“No one comes into your life unless you invite them. Their departing your life is something that they plan along with you, so there is agreement for both of you that when it is time, when you feel you have concluded what you needed to do together, one or both [of you] exit [the physical body].
“And so, although you find this very painful, it has been discussed and planned while you were still in the spirit world.”
Everyone that comes into your life
was invited by you;
from the ones you love,
to the ones you think you hate.
They are all invited by you,
for it is all part of your creation.
No one enters without your permission.
This post is a response to a question for The Council from Margot about a strained relationship she has with her twin brother. Margot says her question was inspired by a post on our blog that answers questions from a reader named Joe about a strained relationship with his children. On June 18, 2012 we did a session with non-physical spirit guides, The Council, to get their perspective on Margot’s question.
Margot’s question suggests she and her twin brother are 70+ years old and they’ve had a strained relationship most of their lives. She asks, “What is the purpose of both of us being from the same womb, sharing that very intimate space for so long, and living as ‘twin’ brother and sister only to live two very different emotional, physical and spiritual lives?”
Margot says she knows that The Council says in our post on Joe’s question that the purpose of all relationships is to bring the love we are as spirit into physical reality, but this guidance “just seems too vaporous and vague” for her to apply in a practical way to her relationship with her brother and she’d like additional input from The Council on this.
My Other Half
In the first part of Margot’s question she describes her twin brother as “my other half,” and The Council quickly offered the following comment:
Isn’t it interesting that someone would think that just by being a twin, the other one is their other half, and they are not whole and truly all that they need to be?
(Similarly formatted text throughout the post represents The Council’s comments during the session. Text [in brackets] was not spoken by The Council, but has been added to make it easier to follow the conversation.)
This post is inspired by several thought-provoking questions from Joe, who has a strained relationship with his two sons during a difficult divorce from their mother. Joe is familiar with The Council’s teaching that we come into this life with the intention of bringing with us the vibration of love, and that we sometimes pre-plan with other souls before we incarnate, to experience challenging human relationships so we can experience finding the love within ourselves that transforms these situations.
With this in mind Joe asks The Council how he can better understand the spiritual aspects of his role and his children’s role in their strained relationship. On Sunday, May 27, 2012 we did a session with The Council to answer Joe’s questions, and their answers are presented in this post. The highlight of this session for us is The Council’s insight that the people in our lives we find most aggravating are often acting in a way we asked them to as a spiritual being before we incarnated into this lifetime—for the purpose of inspiring us to bring more love into our physical reality.
Recorded Audio Content
Recently we invested in recording equipment that allows us to make recordings of our sessions with The Council that have a sound quality we feel comfortable making available in our blog posts. Where you see this image in the post, it’s an audio player that will play a recorded segment of our session. Typically the segment is related to the textual content that follows the player.
The text of the post is an abridged and edited version of our session with The Council. It is meant to provide a good sense of what we consider the most relevant aspects of the session. The recorded content is also abridged, but it’s a somewhat less edited version of the session. The recordings include some session content that’s been edited out of the written post to help it be more easily readable and understandable. It’s our hope that the audio segments help you connect more easily with the feeling of what The Council is talking about.
To play an audio segment, left-click on the triangle on the right side of the audio player. The clip name is displayed in the player and when the recording begins, the time left in the recording is also displayed. To stop the audio player, left-click on the icon that looks like this: . The volume can be adjusted by left-clicking on this icon: ; click on the right side to increase volume and the left side to lower volume.
The complete text of Joe’s comment and questions that inspired this post are not included in the post. You can read them by clicking here. The following audio clip is a recording of Bob reading Joe’s questions to the Council during our session. Copyright ℗ 2014 Bob & Cynthia Dukes
This post is a response to a question from a reader named Bari who wants to believe her better-feeling thoughts about her boyfriend will create better-feeling experiences of the two of them together, as taught by the spirit guides Abraham. But when her boyfriend repeats behaviors that contrast her better-feeling thoughts, Bari wonders how much of an impact her thoughts and feelings are really able to have on the experience of her boyfriend, or anyone else, and she asks The Council’s opinion on this.
This post is the third in a series based on comments from The Council during a single session on Sunday, April 15, 2012 to answer three thought-provoking questions from Bari and Rachael. Reincarnation and past lives were the subjects of the first post, and the second post, in this series.
Helping Others with Our Thoughts
Part way through reading Bari’s second question, The Council offered the following initial comments:
“In the non-physical it is sometimes planned: ‘At some point in my life I will meet you on Earth in the physical. And if I am going through something difficult and I can’t remember who I really am, will you remind me by your thoughts? By your thoughts I will feel that energetic change. I will feel the positive vibration that you are thinking.’ And then, of course, it is up to the [other] person to tune into it and expand with it.
“And so your thoughts go out, whether positive or negative. And the soul you are working with or you are in partnership with feels that vibration.
“And so if they are depressed or they are not accomplishing what they want to accomplish, your positive thought vibration is there and it sort of kick-starts them, but you can not control what they do.
“It’s [as if] you hold the light; you hold the remembrance of who they really are for them. And then, if they allow it, they will feel that and they will move forward.
“But when you have positive thoughts or negative [thoughts] about someone, in your experience that’s how you will experience them. Is that clear?”
–The Council (similarly formatted text throughout this post indicates quotations from The Council
This post is the second part of our response to two thought-provoking questions on reincarnation and past lives (one from Bari and one from Rachael) and an inspired second question (from Bari), about the impact our thoughts and feelings can have on other people’s experience.
In our most recent post, Reincarnation, Part 1: All Past Lives are Present Lives, we write about The Council’s response to Bari’s question on past life experiences and on the impact they have on our current lifetime. Here’s one of the more interesting things The Council had to say about the subject while answering Bari’s question:
“All of your lives are present lives. They are all going on at the same time. And you may wonder: how is this possible?
–The Council (similarly formatted text below indicates quotations from The Council)
A large portion of the Part 1 post is devoted to additional comments from The Council on this point. The information on reincarnation in Part 1 can also help with understanding the material that follows in this post.
Why Are We Here?
Rachael wants to know why we, as souls, repeatedly return to Earth, and specifically why she is here…again. She wants to know, “What is the purpose of being here?” And she wonders if learning lessons has anything to do with this purpose. The Council began answering Rachel’s questions with the following comments.
For Love and Expansion
“First of all, you would never be here if it was not your choice. So even though perhaps at the present moment you feel you don’t want to be here, we have to really tell you: yes you do. Otherwise this would not be going on. So it was your choice to come here.
A Question from Sky
This post is a response to Sky’s question for The Council about how to find “the highest and most loving way to create harmony and balance in my new relationship.” Sky’s full question can be found here.
After reading Sky’s question to The Council, they expressed a desire to address it sentence by sentence to make sure they address each issue.
You Have Access to Higher Wisdom
The Council enjoyed Sky’s reference to them as “Beloved Council.” And they love that Sky is thankful for their higher wisdom, but they remind Sky and the rest of us that humans are spirit in a physical body and we have the potential to access the same wisdom, but we tend to forget we’re spiritual beings with this ability. The Council says it’s their desire to remind us of the wisdom we have within us, and they do this by “knocking us on the head a little bit, and opening the door of our heart a little bit” to help us access this wisdom within ourselves.
When any of us isn’t feeling as good as we’d like, the spirit guides known as Abraham frequently recommend looking for a better-feeling thought and they remind us that what we focus our attention on determines to a large extent how we feel.
Sometimes it can be a challenge to find a better-feeling thought. At a recent weekly Meetup.com meeting that we organize on the law of attraction and manifesting the life you desire, someone expressed the belief that their marriage had failed. This person is currently separated from their spouse and in the process of getting a divorce.
Later in the meeting Cynthia agreed to channel The Council, and the person getting a divorce had an opportunity to ask The Council questions. At one point I (Bob) asked The Council if they were aware of any previous lifetimes this couple shared, and how those experiences may have influenced the time they spent together in their current lifetime.
A Milestone Post
This post is a milestone for us. It’s our first post to include recorded audio content of one of our sessions with The Council, a group of non-physical spirit guides Cynthia is able to communicate with and channel (the process of letting The Council speak using her voice). For our first audio post we picked one of our favorite sessions with The Council, and we decided to include the complete session so you can get a feel for what these sessions are like.
K’s Request for Guidance
This post is a response to K’s request for guidance from The Council on how she can tune into who she really is as a spiritual being so she can experience the purpose of her 22-year relationship with her husband, find her way beyond the pain of their ten years of marriage, and re-connect with the joy of their first eleven years together. Here’s a slightly edited version of K’s request:
“I need some guidance. Let’s see if I can express it a way that makes sense.
“I am in the first stages of getting divorced from a friend of 22 years (10 years married and the father of my son) who I quiet firmly believe came to my life (and I in his) because we had lessons to learn, debts to pay, other unfinished business…something like that.
“Somehow as I try desperately to move on, I often get the feeling that the lessons had to be learned and the challenges were/are there for growth and divorce need not be the solution, at least not after a lot has been cleared out recently.
“Is there a way I can tune in more to my real self, my soul, and remember what the purpose of this marriage was, and what my path ahead is beyond the pain? We both care for each other, but somehow…something that seemed flawless for 11 years before, never worked from the minute we got married. It almost got jinxed and we took turns in not being able to get out of negative thinking to face problems head on.
“Any thoughts on the mystery our life has been and some hints of where it needs to go for the two individual souls? Tall order…huh? Thanks a lot.”
A Question from Chris
This post is a response to a question from Chris, who asks The Council, “How do you really know when messages from meditation are really what to follow?” Chris explains she often gets excited by ideas to go in a certain direction with her life, but when she considers these inspirations in the light of her day-to-day experience, they don’t seem so inspirational any more. Chris gives the following two examples: ideas about new people coming into her life that never seem to come, and ideas about a direction she should take for work that maybe don’t turn out the way she hoped.
Chris’s questions seem relevant for many readers, even if you’re not a meditator. If you ever felt good about an inspiration to take your life in a particular direction, only to end up feeling confused when the inspiration ends up feeling like an impractical and unattainable desire, you may find The Council’s guidance helpful.
This post is in response to a question from Diana about the idea that everyone creates whatever they desire. She’s read a lot on this subject and asks about the practical application of this idea for creating a relationship she desires. Diana particularly wants to know how this idea works if she focuses all her attention on being with a specific person, but this person is focusing all their attention in opposition to that and doesn’t want to be with her. She asks the logical question: How is it possible for both people to get what they desire if their desires are exact opposites?
What We Desire, We Create First in a Non-Physical Reality
The Council’s answer to Diana’s question provided Cynthia and me with some new insight and understanding into the process of getting what we desire. This understanding begins with the idea that when we have a desire for something, whatever we desire is immediately created in a non-physical, vibrational reality. In Diana’s example, The Council says her desire to be with this person (since a name or gender aren’t specified we’ll refer to this person with the letter A) instantly creates in a non-physical reality the experience that she is with A in every way she desires.
Given a choice, most of us probably prefer to experience our desired creations in our physical reality, not just a vibrational one. So the question is: how do we get our desired creation from a non-physical reality into our physical reality.
This post is inspired by a question for The Council from Chris who asks how to move on when someone she feels she was meant to spend her life with broke a sacred contract by leaving. She also asks if it’s possible to find another partner under the circumstances.
The Council observes that souls frequently agree to come into physical bodies during the same lifetime and help each other in their physical lives, but the Council isn’t inclined to understand these agreements as binding sacred contracts, as implied by Chris’s question. The Council believes the idea of an unchangeable binding sacred contract goes against one of the most important principles in all of creation: the free will that all humans, all souls, all spirit is given by our creator to choose, in any moment, from an infinite variety of possibilities. The Council’s idea of a sacred contract is the agreement each soul makes to unconditionally love the part of itself that comes to experience life in a physical body.
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