Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Is It Time To Separate From My Husband?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused and Sad, who says, I’ve been married for close to 30 years. The last few years have had me reflect on how different my husband and I are, and how much we’ve grown apart. It seems our history and our finances are the main reason we’re still together. My husband is a good man, but we have very little, if anything, in common. We rarely agree on anything and this makes me very sad. I feel in my heart we’d both be happier apart, and perhaps have a chance to find a true partner who can make us happy.

The Council says the pre-planning of this marriage in spirit comes from a lifetime where you were both married to other people and you were very mean and selfish with your partners. You felt stuck in these marriages. You didn’t know each other in that life, but there was always the thought to find someone better. You thought you were with people who weren’t pretty, weren’t handsome, weren’t intelligent, people that made you feel closed in, or had nothing in common with you. And both your spirits were willing to work on the same issues so you decided to do it together in your current lifetime.

When you came into your current life it was to come together and learn how to accept who the other person is, whatever their issues were. You wanted to learn how to allow someone to be different. You don’t have to have all these things in common. You wanted to learn how to love yourself and not to look for someone new that would make you happy and feel loved. You must love yourself.

And then you took it a step further and you decided that because you were so selfish and mean in your past life, in your current life when you learned how to accept your spouse for who they were, you were going to try to help them feel good about themself. You were going to take the focus off of you and how miserable you felt, and how this person wasn’t making you happy, and try to do something for this other person,. and give of yourself. And in that you’d feel the change within yourself, and you’d feel better and more love for yourself.

At first we imagine this may be difficult, but when you see you’re focusing on the other person and allowing them to take in this beautiful energy you’re sending by trying to do something for them, or just the energy of letting them be who they are, what you’re looking for in other people you’ll find in yourselves. When you find it in yourselves, you’ll realize both of you created this situation in this marriage. You’re exactly where you need to be to realize: How can I fix this? I love this person, but I don’t, because there’s someone who’d be prettier or handsomer, someone that would give me more attention, someone that would make me feel happier than I am. All of this love comes from within you, not from another person.

When you ask yourself to be nicer, to be understanding, to say to yourself, Today let me do this for this person or with this person, knowing it’s something that person likes, you will be so proud of yourself, and the feeling you want to have in a marriage will return. It will not only return, but it will be better than it was.

Confused says, We’ve both tried to make each other happy for the sake of the children and family, but we’re just two very different people. The Council says, Isn’t that wonderful. Look at what you can learn from being two totally different people.

Confused says, We’re both scared to leave because we’re all each other has known for so many years. The Council says of course the feeling of being scared will come up because you know this isn’t what you wanted. You don’t want to flee your marriage. You didn’t plan to go off and find something else. You both created this situation so you could grow within yourself and for each other.

Confused says, I know we’re both confused and scared because separation or divorce can be just as difficult as staying together. The Council says if you were to do this and move on, the happiness you’re looking for you won’t find somewhere else. It’s within this marriage, it’s within yourselves that you wanted to grow and learn, and you will feel this.

Confused says, I’ve tried to figure out why we would have chosen each other, what lessons we were supposed to learn. Is it finally time to move on and co-create the life we’d both like to live? And perhaps find true love with a partner more suited for each of us that can make us happy?. The Council says this other partner you’re looking for will be no different because you both planned to live your life this way.

Confused says, We do try and communicate and work things out, but our thought processes are just so completely different. The Council says, Isn’t it wonderful?. Do you stop and wonder what your spouse is thinking of? Do you try to understand it? Do you try and see it? And you don’t have to agree with each other. That’s the most wonderful thing. You can still have your beliefs and your ways of thinking, but how interesting it would be to see how your spouse’s mind works. And you can learn much from this. Let go of being rigid and thinking we have different ideas. What can you learn from this? Maybe it would be fun for you to think this way. Or maybe you can learn from thinking this way. It’s all opportunities in front of you.

If you feel you don’t want to stay in this marriage, it’s always your choice. You’ll create it again because the lessons you want to learn are right here. All the opportunities are right here for you.

Confused says, Our thought processes are just so completely different that it never ends well. We just seem to see things completely differently. The Council says, And so you argue and you fight because you don’t agree because you think differently. When you go to school the teacher thinks differently than a student. The student in the back of the room could be thinking differently than a student in the front. You don’t fight over this. You listen and learn from it. But most important, you allow the person to be who they are. And that’s the most wonderful gift you can give anyone.

Confused closes by asking, Have we learned all we can from each other, and is it finally time to move on? The Council says we’ve given you the answer. We wish you so much fun on your journey. Take your focus off your disagreeing, your not having things in common, off the fighting and difficulty communicating. Take your focus and say, This is another spirit who’s agreed with me to come into this reality to create this situation. While we go through it we’re going to learn about each other.  Most importantly we’re going to learn about ourselves. Are we able to accept others if they’re not like us? Because your purpose in this life is to bring love into this reality.


Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and Scared and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

December 6, 2021 Posted by | Acceptance, Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Helping Others, Love, Marriage, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , | Leave a comment

Requesting Guidance for a Never-Ending Divorce

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Amy. She says it’s a full year since I asked The Council about my divorce and it’s as if time has stood still. My divorce is no further along than it was then. I’ve tried everything to move the divorce forward, but my husband is intent on going to trial, and he has so much to lose. The challenges he’s faced with emotional abuse and substance abuse will now play out publicly in court and it’s possible he might lose custody of our children.

The Council says this is the way your husband wants the divorce to go. How would you like the divorce to go? If you put the thought in your mind that your husband is intent on going in the direction of court, does it bring up fear? Does it bring up frustration? Or are you satisfied with this and think we’ll go to trial, but I know his behavior and abuse will come out and the trial will go in my favor?

Find thoughts that bring you satisfaction and joy. The timing of when your divorce is finalized doesn’t matter. What will make the divorce move forward is if you take your thoughts away from frustration and appreciate your life. Go about your business and do what you want with your children and know that this divorce will eventually happen when you accept the way it’s going and know for sure, without a doubt in your mind, that everything will come out okay for you and your children.

Your husband has his lessons to go through. At this point your lesson is to accept what’s going on. Don’t think of the divorce as a battle and you’re going to war. Your husband is bringing on this challenge. You can accept it with peace in your mind and things will turn out in your favor.

Amy says, Losing custody of our children isn’t what I wanted for my husband, but he watches TV all day long and on TV you don’t see reasonable people gracefully dismantling their lives with their children at the center. I feel I’ve been fair and I’ve tried to settle this divorce fairly and quietly for the sake of our children, but there’s something blocking this divorce. The Council says the block is what you and your husband have come together to do and the lesson to be learned in it. You may not realize that spiritually your husband may have decided he wants to lose his children and learn what that’s about. You don’t have to know the reason, or what your husband is creating. This will show itself to you.

Amy says, We still live together, I still support him, and he refuses to work. The Council asks Amy why her husband should work if she lets him live with her and supports him? This doesn’t seem sensible. If you want to keep him living in your home and supporting him, that’s fine, but know you’re agreeing to this. You’re allowing this to happen. If you want something different you’d handle the situation differently.

Amy says, I can see so clearly what my life looks like with my children when I get to the other side of this divorce. I’ve deepened my relationship with myself over the last year and I’m anxiously awaiting the change and the experience it will bring to my family overall. The Council reminds Amy to do the inner work, keep seeing the pages of a calendar flying by, and the time has passed and your divorce is happening.

Amy says, I’ve been getting ready to get ready, as Abraham-Hicks teaches, and I feel good. It’s surprising to most people that I feel no animosity toward my husband. The Council says this is wonderful because animosity isn’t necessary and that in spirit you both created this situation.

Amy says, Our life is far more peaceful than it ever was before, living without the emotion and intensity our marriage held. We’re co-parents living in the same house and it feels a little like a dress rehearsal. The Council says without saying too much about your husband, some of what he’s created is to go through life easily and have things done for him. What he’s creating and will continue to create is to have people come into his life and make it easier.

Amy says, I’ve recently come to the point where I stopped trying to control the outcome and I’ve even given up on the timeline for the divorce. Right now I get to be with my children every day while the divorce works itself out and I’m grateful for every minute with them in the same house. Having said that, it’s time for me to move on. I feel a strong pull towards something else and I have no idea what that is. This is exciting – nervous excitement. There’s not another love interest or even a thought of one, or a friend or a family member pulling me along so I know this is a different calling.

The Council says it’s wonderful that you’ve stopped trying to control the outcome. This is the way to make the divorce happen. Stay in that feeling of excitement. Stay in the feeling of being pulled toward something new and wonderful. Even if you don’t know what you’re excited about, stay in that excited, happy feeling.

Amy says the universe takes care of my husband. Life just happens for him. He just seems to walk through life carelessly without consequences. No matter how badly he treats people or screws up, someone picks up the slack. It’s as if you can see him being carried. I know we all have a higher power watching over us. It’s just easy to see with my husband that he’s always taken care of no matter how bad his behavior is or how much he alienates friends and family. The Council says this isn’t any part of what you need to experience. He’ll go through all the emotions and all the experience he needs on his path.

Amy says, I can’t be the person I’ve been for my husband anymore. I need to move on, but I feel a block and I can’t seem to clear it. The Council says there isn’t any block. Think of the divorce moving forward. You’re on the correct path. All that you wish, if you continue to focus on it, will come to you. Let go of the time factor. It’s not necessary. Stay in a vibration of happiness and love and you’ll see your divorce come quickly.

The Council says you’re all so much more than you think you are. You’re all on this wonderful path of growth, and understanding, and realizing there are many lives you’ve experienced and many more you’ll create when you’re ready. Focus on being the creator. Focus on bringing joy and laughter into your life and everything will come to you. When you’re happy, you’ll see the connections that are being made. There will be more understanding. Stay in that feeling of joy.


Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Amy and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council a question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the audio recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

December 1, 2021 Posted by | Abraham-Hicks, Acceptance, Audio Content, Channeling, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Was I Right to Divorce My Husband?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Laurie, who asks if she was right to divorce her husband. Laurie read another post on our blog where The Council says you can create a long and happy married life if that’s what you wish to create. Laurie says this is what she wanted, but lost trust in her husband because of his financial manipulations. The Council asks Laurie how she can wish for a happy life when she states that she doesn’t trust her husband? When you are in the vibration of mistrust, you could never create a happy marriage.

In your marriage were you able to appreciate how your husband was towards you? Were there things you loved about this marriage and thought about over and over? Or did it get to a point where you didn’t trust your husband, didn’t like his behavior, and felt he had the power to make you feel good or bad about yourself?

When you go down a negative road and you have thoughts like: he drove me crazy, he lied, maybe he cheated on you, and maybe he hid financial aspects of your lives – if you felt these things throughout the marriage and there’s no room to appreciate any part of your married life, you can never have a happy marriage.

If you were miserable in this marriage and felt there was dishonesty, how would you change the marriage to be the way you wanted it to be? If you were able to look at your husband and say: A, B, C was done, I see where he was coming from, I can see why he did these things, and I realize he has his lessons – can we talk about that? Can we try to understand and change these behaviors? If there was a possibility you could do this and let go of what was already done, there could have been a change in your marriage. But if you feel the hurt was so horrible and that’s all you felt, you wouldn’t be able to change your relationship.

Laurie writes that she lost trust in her husband because of his financial manipulation, his telling their university-aged children she was crazy, sharing details of their intimate relations with other people, as well as other unspecified  reasons. Her husband didn’t want to go to counseling and accused her of overreacting. She told him she deserved to be treated better and ended the marriage. The Council asks Laurie if you believe you deserve a better marriage and there was so much dishonesty, why do you still question if you did the right thing by divorcing your husband?

Laurie asks The Council if they feel under the circumstances she’s described if her marriage could have been saved? The Council says if Laurie was open to a different way of perceiving this marriage, if you knew what you wanted and what boundaries could change, if you’re able to come from a place of forgiveness and love, you’d bring the vibration of change into your  surroundings. This would be felt by your husband as a spiritual being and then the spirits within both of you would know whether you’re able to change the marriage based on what you both planned to experience when you were in spirit before coming into this lifetime. But The Council adds they feel where Laurie was when she was still in the marriage and where she is now, it wouldn’t have been possible change her marriage into a happy one.

The Council says now it’s wise to go back and see what Laurie has learned in this marriage. Take your focus off being hurt and off the memories of everything that happened in the marriage that was unpleasant and begin to think about what you’d like to experience in a new relationship. What would you like to experience moving forward? What would you like your lessons to be now? What would you like your communication to be like in a new relationship? By letting go of the hurt and concentrating on what you’d like moving forward, this will change your vibration so that the kind of new person you bring in will match that vibration.

Be kind to other people, help other people, send love to other people, and that’s the kind of person you’ll bring into your life. The universe will not judge you. It will send into your life people that speak like you, that think like you, that have traits like you, and together you’ll learn how to grow.

Everyone has lessons with each other. Will you be open to helping the kind of person that comes into your life and helping them grow and experience what they need? Would you be vulnerable to ask for what you need without thinking about being hurt and whatever you experienced in the past?

Watch your words. Watch your thoughts. Watch your actions. And however you can, get yourself into the vibration of love. You can do this by memories, by thinking about the way you’d like your future to be, by appreciating what you have around you now. Anything that will get you into a positive vibration will help you move forward.

Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Laurie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it, or ask an unrelated question.

If you like this post, please do us a favor and click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

July 6, 2019 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Vibration | , , | 1 Comment

Recommendations for Improving a Difficult Life After Divorce

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Laurie, who left a 25 year marriage a couple of years ago to a man she believes is a narcissistic sociopath. She investigated her ex-husband’s finances in preparation for the divorce, but the mediator wouldn’t hear details. She broke down and settled on the divorce terms and later realized it was at a large financial cost to her. The Council asks Laurie, when she realized the divorce wasn’t fair to her, was she able to let go of this because she’d made the decision? Or did you feel anger and loss, and that you were taken advantage of, and now feel the divorce was wrong?

The Council points out that the decision you made was to accept the divorce settlement, and it’s very difficult for some people to see where their decisions bring about what’s happening. Do you want to put yourself in a place of fear and anger and fight the settlement you accepted. Or has this taught you a valuable lesson and now you wish to move forward in peace and begin to create the life you wish to have?

Laurie says she feels lost, financially scared, and despite all the horrible things her ex-husband has done to her, she misses him because she’s afraid of living alone, unloved, and unable to do things that may have been possible in the marriage. The Council says because of finances and the fear of being on your own are you willing to put yourself back in a situation that was unbearable? The Council asks Laurie to question herself about this decision. Why would you put yourself in a situation where you’d have to go through the difficulty again, and it would be the same. What’s the reason for going back to this man? Is it worth hanging onto this relationship that will prevent you from moving forward and creating a new life because you’re in the middle of this traumatizing experience?

You and your ex-husband have both agreed in spirit to create your marriage. What have you learned? If one person is beating up the other person, why would you consider going back to that? Isn’t there an easier way to learn? Or have you forgotten you came into this lifetime to bring love into your life? That’s the bottom line why you’re here.

The Council says Laurie isn’t alone. There’s always spirits around you that are willing to help you if you give them a chance. If you have the littlest bit of faith, signs will come to you through dreams, through readings, and through talking with people. Opportunities will open up for you when you simply say I want to experience love. I want to experience a life where I’m happy and feel safe. Put this out there on a daily basis. Visualize the kind of life you’d like to have and create this with your thoughts. You’ll begin to build what you desire so that it shows up in your reality.

Laurie says she’s 57 years old and believes stress is taking a toll on her previously healthy body. She’s confused why she’s suffered from her divorce rather than having gotten to a better place. The Council says the marriage was an experience she wished to have and then move forward. Do you sit and think over and over all the uncomfortable things you went through? Or do you say to yourself it’s a new beginning. I’ll begin to create from a place of love.

Many people who go through a divorce are very sad and they get stuck in that sadness and don’t move forward. The Council says they can see that happening in Laurie’s case. They say not only are you not moving forward, but you’re thinking about going backward.

Find joy in things you like to do. Appreciate you’re not in an uncomfortable relationship with a partner like your ex-husband. When your thoughts change the situation must change and your body must change. You’re a spirit in a human body and you’ve created your life every step of the way. Can you wish your ex-husband happiness in the lessons he needs to learn? What were the signs your relationship was detrimental to you? What do you see that you’d handle differently? How would you bring more joy into a relationship?

You’re at a place where you can begin to move forward and change everything. There’s no need to go back. There are many new friends available to you. There are some old friends from other lifetimes that will come into your life. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter how horrible you think it may have been, you agreed in spirit to experience it and you’ve come through it. Now ask yourself where can you go from here? What do you want?

Laurie says she’s been given the lesson that life isn’t fair, but still wants to believe light triumphs over dark. The Council says of course life is fair. It’s exactly what you wanted to experience. It may not look like wonderful experiences, but it’s what you called in to your life.

The Council recommends Laurie read books about changing her life, like Emmanuel’s Book, by Pat Rodegast and books from Abraham, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Fill your mind with the words of spirit. And try the exercises that are explained in the Abraham books.

Laurie says she still thinks about going back to her ex-husband despite all the horrible things he’s done to her. She’s empathetic to the hurt little boy inside him rather than focusing on the horrible things he’s done. The Council says it’s wonderful you can feel for the little boy inside him. The Council says that’s a plus, not a minus. Perhaps you can send that little boy some love with your thoughts. Perhaps you can send beautiful pink energy to the adult to help him move forward with their lessons.

By not blaming your ex-husband and understanding he also had lessons he wanted to learn from your marriage, and that you both agreed in spirit to everything that happened in your relationship, the love within you expands and you will grow. Whether you wish yourself love or you wish other people love, just thinking about love changes your vibration.

The Council advises Laurie to do simple steps first. Be grateful. Send love. Be interested in what other people say when they come along to help you. Give other people compliments and be kind. You’ll see yourself beginning to feel better.

Listen to the 15-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Laurie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section after the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks

January 13, 2019 Posted by | Abraham-Hicks, Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Help Leaving An Abusive Husband

This post is inspired by a follow-up question from a reader named Jolanda who wrote to us a few months ago about whether she should leave her abusive husband, and The Council advised her that she should leave because her husband wouldn’t change. They also said she should leave for the sake of her children. Jolanda says she’s spent these months trying to find a solution other than leaving, but she now sees her situation isn’t likely to get any better.

The Council says staying with her husband isn’t the direction she wanted to go in and they ask Jolanda not to give up hope on what she can create for herself. They ask if she believes she deserves better, and they say if she’s unable to live with this difficulty there’s another path to happiness. They suggest she look for the courage to pursue this happiness, and they add there’s no rush. Jolanda will get where she wants when she’s more comfortable within herself and researched how she’ll make her life work without being with her husband. She’s still in the beginning stage.

Jolanda says she thought she’d be married for the rest of her life and can barely imagine living without her husband. And The Council asks how she expects to change this situation when she’s unable to imagine the change.

The Council reminds Jolanda that to create a better situation she needs to continually focus on what she desires. If she goes through this situation day after day and doesn’t focus on what she desires because it’s difficult to see a better way, her situation will remain unchanged.

The Council says if Jolanda is unable to find it in her heart to leave her husband, the lesson here is still finding courage. While she is still in this relationship she doesn’t have to take abuse, which she has created, from her husband. Put herself and her children first. Learn to be protected.

The Council sees Jolanda has a lot of work to get to the point where she can focus on how she’d like to live her life. The lesson can be learned, but instead of feeling hopeless she needs to change her thinking. However long this takes, she’ll find a way to do this.

What can she do to find happiness for herself and her children while she remains in this situation? When she goes into a vibration of happiness, the abusive vibration will not match her happiness and won’t continue to bother her. Eventually it will stop.

The Council says Jolanda needs to take her focus off how horrible her situation is and change her thoughts. It’s her spiritual job right now to find a way to bring the love and happiness into her home.

The Council finishes with a reminder there’s nothing more powerful than your higher self. Think of yourself as a great spirit and warrior that has picked a tremendous challenge to go through, and you knew you could do this. There isn’t anything more powerful than your higher self. Pay attention to this part of you. Use the tools you’ve been given and keep focusing on the life you desire.

Listen to our entire 16-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all of their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us. And let us know what you think.

November 11, 2016 Posted by | Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Desire, Marriage, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , , | 7 Comments

Marriage Council-ing

K’s Request for Guidance

This post is a response to K’s request for guidance from The Council on how she can tune into who she really is as a spiritual being so she can experience the purpose of her 22-year relationship with her husband, find her way beyond the pain of their ten years of marriage, and re-connect with the joy of their first eleven years together. Here’s a slightly edited version of K’s request:

“I need some guidance. Let’s see if I can express it a way that makes sense.

“I am in the first stages of getting divorced from a friend of 22 years (10 years married and the father of my son) who I quiet firmly believe came to my life (and I in his) because we had lessons to learn, debts to pay, other unfinished business…something like that.

“Somehow as I try desperately to move on, I often get the feeling that the lessons had to be learned and the challenges were/are there for growth and divorce need not be the solution, at least not after a lot has been cleared out recently.

“Is there a way I can tune in more to my real self, my soul, and remember what the purpose of this marriage was, and what my path ahead is beyond the pain? We both care for each other, but somehow…something that seemed flawless for 11 years before, never worked from the minute we got married. It almost got jinxed and we took turns in not being able to get out of negative thinking to face problems head on.

“Any thoughts on the mystery our life has been and some hints of where it needs to go for the two individual souls? Tall order…huh? Thanks a lot.”

—K

This is an introduction to this post. Click here to read the full post→

May 16, 2011 Posted by | Marriage, Questions & Answers, Relationships, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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