This post is inspired by a follow-up question from a reader named Jolanda who wrote to us a few months ago about whether she should leave her abusive husband, and The Council advised her that she should leave because her husband wouldn’t change. They also said she should leave for the sake of her children. Jolanda says she’s spent these months trying to find a solution other than leaving, but she now sees her situation isn’t likely to get any better.
The Council says staying with her husband isn’t the direction she wanted to go in and they ask Jolanda not to give up hope on what she can create for herself. They ask if she believes she deserves better, and they say if she’s unable to live with this difficulty there’s another path to happiness. They suggest she look for the courage to pursue this happiness, and they add there’s no rush. Jolanda will get where she wants when she’s more comfortable within herself and researched how she’ll make her life work without being with her husband. She’s still in the beginning stage.
Jolanda says she thought she’d be married for the rest of her life and can barely imagine living without her husband. And The Council asks how she expects to change this situation when she’s unable to imagine the change.
The Council reminds Jolanda that to create a better situation she needs to continually focus on what she desires. If she goes through this situation day after day and doesn’t focus on what she desires because it’s difficult to see a better way, her situation will remain unchanged.
The Council says if Jolanda is unable to find it in her heart to leave her husband, the lesson here is still finding courage. While she is still in this relationship she doesn’t have to take abuse, which she has created, from her husband. Put herself and her children first. Learn to be protected.
The Council sees Jolanda has a lot of work to get to the point where she can focus on how she’d like to live her life. The lesson can be learned, but instead of feeling hopeless she needs to change her thinking. However long this takes, she’ll find a way to do this.
What can she do to find happiness for herself and her children while she remains in this situation? When she goes into a vibration of happiness, the abusive vibration will not match her happiness and won’t continue to bother her. Eventually it will stop.
The Council says Jolanda needs to take her focus off how horrible her situation is and change her thoughts. It’s her spiritual job right now to find a way to bring the love and happiness into her home.
The Council finishes with a reminder there’s nothing more powerful than your higher self. Think of yourself as a great spirit and warrior that has picked a tremendous challenge to go through, and you knew you could do this. There isn’t anything more powerful than your higher self. Pay attention to this part of you. Use the tools you’ve been given and keep focusing on the life you desire.
Listen to our entire 16-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all of their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us. And let us know what you think.
K’s Request for Guidance
This post is a response to K’s request for guidance from The Council on how she can tune into who she really is as a spiritual being so she can experience the purpose of her 22-year relationship with her husband, find her way beyond the pain of their ten years of marriage, and re-connect with the joy of their first eleven years together. Here’s a slightly edited version of K’s request:
“I need some guidance. Let’s see if I can express it a way that makes sense.
“I am in the first stages of getting divorced from a friend of 22 years (10 years married and the father of my son) who I quiet firmly believe came to my life (and I in his) because we had lessons to learn, debts to pay, other unfinished business…something like that.
“Somehow as I try desperately to move on, I often get the feeling that the lessons had to be learned and the challenges were/are there for growth and divorce need not be the solution, at least not after a lot has been cleared out recently.
“Is there a way I can tune in more to my real self, my soul, and remember what the purpose of this marriage was, and what my path ahead is beyond the pain? We both care for each other, but somehow…something that seemed flawless for 11 years before, never worked from the minute we got married. It almost got jinxed and we took turns in not being able to get out of negative thinking to face problems head on.
“Any thoughts on the mystery our life has been and some hints of where it needs to go for the two individual souls? Tall order…huh? Thanks a lot.”
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