Ask The Council

I Feel My Marriage Won’t Let Me Move Forward With What I Want

This post answers some follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Angie. Angie previously asked The Council some questions which we answered in our post, Why Do I Feel So Drawn To This Man?

Angie: I do have another part to what I’d like to ask regarding my husband, Chris. First, I felt that I needed to get clarification on my connection to Brent (a co-worker – see previous post) as that has been weighing heavily on my mind. Is Brent aware of the kind of connection we share from other lifetimes and that we both pre-planned to come together in our current life to support each other? If not, how can I help him understand?

Council: He’s not aware of anything more than a friendship. If you want him to open up to more than that and question what you both have in this relationship, you’d have to visualize that, but allow him to be who he is. At this time we don’t advise you to push for Brent to be more than a friend. Be a good friend and companion to him. You can talk about things you have in common. You can make that apparent, but his growth and desire to learn more about you must come from him.

Angie: Although my husband and I have remained married for almost 24 years, I haven’t felt we were always aligned with each other. We’ve had our ups and downs, but something was missing between us. I don’t think we ever connected on the level I was looking for in a marriage.

Council: In this connection you’re looking for did you look at your husband from your heart? Did you look for loving things about him even when things are difficult? Do you connect by realizing your husband is also a spirit, and he has his challenges and feelings he needs to work through? Did you connect by appreciating your husband and looking for all the good things in your marriage? When you look for these things, you’ll find them.

Angie: In between our down times, Chris and I had many good years.

Council: That’s wonderful, and it’s good to think about and remember that.

Angie: But when I decided to go back to school, it was the most challenging time. It was challenging because I had to balance taking care of our two sons, focus on my studies, and try to have Chris understand that completing my degree was important to me and will bring success to our family.

Council: Do you know that you created all this and you both agreed to experience this challenge? Did you know you wanted to create this challenge to see if you could handle it so that you’d feel good about yourself? Did your husband agree to this challenge to learn to see you differently, or handle jealousy? There are different reasons this challenge was created, but because you both went through this, it’s something you both want to learn from.

Angie: The extra challenge was how Chris seemed upset with me for what I felt was being focused on my education. After all my hard work during a semester and taking my final exam one weekend, Chris accused me of being with someone else. It was the most hurtful thing to hear him say. There were other moments where I had to tell him I would continue to reach for my goals with or without him.

After I graduated and had a full-time job lined up, things smoothed out. Chris was happier and I thought I’d be happier along side him. I was happy for the next couple years. By this time both our sons were attending college and I was paying their tuition and room and board.

Council: We’d ask you to review what was going on that you were happy for a couple years. Take a good look at that and see what you created and what you went through. What was Chris going through?

Angie: I was able to provide my sons with financial support mostly because we didn’t have a mortgage. Things were going well for us. Chris and I decided to look into buying a new house, but it didn’t work out. I felt is wasn’t the right time. He kept pushing for us to buy a house. I still felt it wasn’t the right time and I explained to him, I’m paying quite a bit in tuition for our boys, including my own expenses and tuition loans. I wasn’t going to take on extra expenses that would come with buying a home. Instead of receiving his understanding, he reacted with a threat of divorce.

Council: In that do you realize you learned to make a boundary, and what you wanted to experience, and what you didn’t want to experience. Look at how you’ve grown, and how you were clear with what you wanted, and you were able to voice it.

Angie: Chris threatened divorce one other time. This was the turning point for me to focus on myself even more. I’m left wondering if our coming together was to have our children and provide for them up to the time they’d begin to create their own lives.

Council: That was part of what your lives are about.

Angie: I know I’ve had a lot of personal growth and I’ve noticed my husband seems to be stuck in the same place and not moving towards his goals as much. This has made it feel like we’re growing apart. Has our marriage run it’s course?

Council: It’s only run it’s course if you decide that’s what you want. If It’s what you want, you’ll create it to go in that direction. It’s really all up to you. That’s one of the great understandings we all need to learn when we create a reality. It’s all up to you.

Angie: I feel the urge to move forward with what I want and I don’t think I’ll be able to fully do this while I’m married to Chris. I do love and care for him very much, but I want to go toward what’s fulfilling and brings happiness.

Council: Meditate on this. Picture yourself going forward with your husband and picture your life without him. What feels better? You’ll always know by how it feels. Do you wish to stay in this marriage and work out the problems? Is this something you wish to create and grow from? Or is it time that you wish to be on your own?

There isn’t any wrong answer. You’ll experience what you need to experience. Your higher self, which is you, is in control and well aware of what you want to create in this life. The best thing is to remain calm, meditate, and visualize what you want.

And so we wish you all love, and light, and happiness, and gratitude on your path. Be supportive of one another and love yourself, as well as others in your life. And remember every single day, you’re all spirits in a physical body, and you’ll create whatever you focus on. Even if you focus on something negative, you’ll create that. We urge you to have positive thoughts, laugh as much as you can, have fun, remember the wonderful and happy memories, and stay in the positive.

Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Angie and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button that appears in the section below the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

March 23, 2022 - Posted by Cynthia & Bob | Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Feelings, Gratitude, Love, Marriage, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | Appreciate, Boundary, Divorce, Education, Feel Good, Focus, Happy, Higher Self, Husband, Learn