This post is inspired by a follow-up question from a reader named Jolanda who wrote to us a few months ago about whether she should leave her abusive husband, and The Council advised her that she should leave because her husband wouldn’t change. They also said she should leave for the sake of her children. Jolanda says she’s spent these months trying to find a solution other than leaving, but she now sees her situation isn’t likely to get any better.
The Council says staying with her husband isn’t the direction she wanted to go in and they ask Jolanda not to give up hope on what she can create for herself. They ask if she believes she deserves better, and they say if she’s unable to live with this difficulty there’s another path to happiness. They suggest she look for the courage to pursue this happiness, and they add there’s no rush. Jolanda will get where she wants when she’s more comfortable within herself and researched how she’ll make her life work without being with her husband. She’s still in the beginning stage.
Jolanda says she thought she’d be married for the rest of her life and can barely imagine living without her husband. And The Council asks how she expects to change this situation when she’s unable to imagine the change.
The Council reminds Jolanda that to create a better situation she needs to continually focus on what she desires. If she goes through this situation day after day and doesn’t focus on what she desires because it’s difficult to see a better way, her situation will remain unchanged.
The Council says if Jolanda is unable to find it in her heart to leave her husband, the lesson here is still finding courage. While she is still in this relationship she doesn’t have to take abuse, which she has created, from her husband. Put herself and her children first. Learn to be protected.
The Council sees Jolanda has a lot of work to get to the point where she can focus on how she’d like to live her life. The lesson can be learned, but instead of feeling hopeless she needs to change her thinking. However long this takes, she’ll find a way to do this.
What can she do to find happiness for herself and her children while she remains in this situation? When she goes into a vibration of happiness, the abusive vibration will not match her happiness and won’t continue to bother her. Eventually it will stop.
The Council says Jolanda needs to take her focus off how horrible her situation is and change her thoughts. It’s her spiritual job right now to find a way to bring the love and happiness into her home.
The Council finishes with a reminder there’s nothing more powerful than your higher self. Think of yourself as a great spirit and warrior that has picked a tremendous challenge to go through, and you knew you could do this. There isn’t anything more powerful than your higher self. Pay attention to this part of you. Use the tools you’ve been given and keep focusing on the life you desire.
Listen to our entire 16-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all of their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us. And let us know what you think.
Recently we published a post titled, Whether to Leave an Abusive Relationship, answering Jolanda’s questions about her relationship with her husband. After reading that post Jolanda had some follow-up questions and the current post answers those questions.
Jolanda begins by saying she was inspired to ask her questions by listening to the teachings of Abraham and that prior to hearing these teachings she felt leaving her husband was her only option. But she’s heard Abraham repeatedly say something like the following:
“Don’t get out of a relationship until you can be strong and happy within yourself, no matter what is going on around you. If someone makes you go out of the Vortex, just get back in. Don’t let someone upset your ability to be happy and be in the Vortex.”
Jolanda says she resonates to this and realized her problem was really her difficulty being happy when her husband was unhappy. She adds:
“Abraham cautions that if we don’t get ourselves right before leaving a relationship, we’ll just get into the same type of relationship again and again, until we learn our lesson.”
Jolanda asks The Council’s opinion on this, considering their answers in the earlier post seemed to suggest it was her intention she find the strength to protect herself and her children by leaving her husband. She says:
“I know I haven’t learned how to be happy while others are unhappy, which is why I feel that my husband is the absolute best partner I could possibly have at this time, because he’s in my face every day, being unhappy with me, and pushing my buttons. What better way to learn to get happy no matter what is going on around me?”
The Council has a lot to say to Jolanda about her situation, but it boils down to the following quote:
“When you realize something is not bringing you joy (because that is what you are wishing to experience) then you have the ability to start making another choice, to start making a plan on how you would do this if you’re not ready to do this right now. But there is nowhere/anywhere where Abraham or any other spirit would say stay there if you are miserable. It’s like, stay there if you have to till you get the strength to make another choice.”
When the session was finished we did a Google search on “Abraham Hicks abusive relationship” to get Abraham’s views on this subject instead of Jolanda’s view of what Abraham was saying. What we came up with was a 7-minute YouTube video titled, “Is it time to leave?”, which we reproduce below. The woman speaking with Abraham is in a situation similar to Jolanda.
And while Abraham does emphasize the importance of working on yourself to improve your vibration before leaving a relationship so you don’t attract a similar relationship into your life, they add that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to take action. They say:
“The story we like best is: You’re sitting on a park bench and you’re feeling fear, and you don’t really know if there’s a monster in the bushes or if you just think there’s a monster in the bushes. And we say, in any event, move away from the monster.”
The Council appears to understand that Jolanda chose to be in this abusive relationship with her husband for the specific purpose of developing the strength in this lifetime to leave him and protect herself and her children. The Council adds more than once it’s Jolanda’s choice whether she actually leaves her husband on not, and they are merely reminding her of her pre-birth intention.
Listen to our entire 22-minute session with The Council (below) to hear Jolanda’s follow-up questions and The Council’s answers for her and anyone in a similar situation.
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