This post is inspired by a reader named Frankie who’s been in several relationships with men who haven’t been willing to make the commitment she desires. The Council asks if Frankie understands her partner doesn’t want a commitment, does she choose to stay in these relationships anyway? They feel there’s a part of Frankie that holds onto these relationships, even when she knows they’re not going in the direction she’d like.
Frankie is currently friends with a fellow she fell in love with several years ago, but the romantic part of the relationship didn’t work out. This fellow is currently in a relationship with a woman he intends to marry, and Frankie’s hurt by this because her friend is showing a commitment to his girlfriend that he never showed her.
The Council says coming into this lifetime Frankie wanted to know what was going on around her, and going forward in her relationships they recommend being aware if they’re what she wants. In this lifetime Frankie wants independence, awareness, and strength to be on her own. And this is one reason she hasn’t experienced a long-term commitment.
When Frankie is able to be on her own and love herself, she’ll have the relationship she’s looking for. It’s good for her to continue with relationships, but it’s good for her to be aware if they’re going in the direction she desires. And instead of hoping a relationship will work out, she wants to become aware of what’s going on and not settle for a relationship that isn’t exactly what she wants. She wants to be okay with moving on from a relationship she doesn’t want and being by herself for a while. And as she becomes more okay with herself, and loving herself, and knowing there’s more out there, she’ll pull in the relationship she desires.
Listen to the entire 10-minute session with The Council (below) to hear The Council’s answer to what Frankie wants to know about love, why she still feels a connection to her friend, and how she can break this pattern of getting involved with men that don’t want a long-term romantic relationship. And let us know what you think.
Recently we published a post titled, Whether to Leave an Abusive Relationship, answering Jolanda’s questions about her relationship with her husband. After reading that post Jolanda had some follow-up questions and the current post answers those questions.
Jolanda begins by saying she was inspired to ask her questions by listening to the teachings of Abraham and that prior to hearing these teachings she felt leaving her husband was her only option. But she’s heard Abraham repeatedly say something like the following:
“Don’t get out of a relationship until you can be strong and happy within yourself, no matter what is going on around you. If someone makes you go out of the Vortex, just get back in. Don’t let someone upset your ability to be happy and be in the Vortex.”
Jolanda says she resonates to this and realized her problem was really her difficulty being happy when her husband was unhappy. She adds:
“Abraham cautions that if we don’t get ourselves right before leaving a relationship, we’ll just get into the same type of relationship again and again, until we learn our lesson.”
Jolanda asks The Council’s opinion on this, considering their answers in the earlier post seemed to suggest it was her intention she find the strength to protect herself and her children by leaving her husband. She says:
“I know I haven’t learned how to be happy while others are unhappy, which is why I feel that my husband is the absolute best partner I could possibly have at this time, because he’s in my face every day, being unhappy with me, and pushing my buttons. What better way to learn to get happy no matter what is going on around me?”
The Council has a lot to say to Jolanda about her situation, but it boils down to the following quote:
“When you realize something is not bringing you joy (because that is what you are wishing to experience) then you have the ability to start making another choice, to start making a plan on how you would do this if you’re not ready to do this right now. But there is nowhere/anywhere where Abraham or any other spirit would say stay there if you are miserable. It’s like, stay there if you have to till you get the strength to make another choice.”
When the session was finished we did a Google search on “Abraham Hicks abusive relationship” to get Abraham’s views on this subject instead of Jolanda’s view of what Abraham was saying. What we came up with was a 7-minute YouTube video titled, “Is it time to leave?”, which we reproduce below. The woman speaking with Abraham is in a situation similar to Jolanda.
And while Abraham does emphasize the importance of working on yourself to improve your vibration before leaving a relationship so you don’t attract a similar relationship into your life, they add that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to take action. They say:
“The story we like best is: You’re sitting on a park bench and you’re feeling fear, and you don’t really know if there’s a monster in the bushes or if you just think there’s a monster in the bushes. And we say, in any event, move away from the monster.”
The Council appears to understand that Jolanda chose to be in this abusive relationship with her husband for the specific purpose of developing the strength in this lifetime to leave him and protect herself and her children. The Council adds more than once it’s Jolanda’s choice whether she actually leaves her husband on not, and they are merely reminding her of her pre-birth intention.
Listen to our entire 22-minute session with The Council (below) to hear Jolanda’s follow-up questions and The Council’s answers for her and anyone in a similar situation.
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named Jolanda who says it’s taken her a long time to realize her husband (who is the father and step-father of their children) is verbally and emotionally abusive to her and their stepchildren.
Jolanda asks if she’s right to stay with her husband and The Council says there was a pre-birth agreement they would come together in this lifetime. They see previous lifetimes where Jolanda had experienced a lack of courage and in this lifetime she desires to learn to be a protector of herself and her children. The Council adds that her children are part of this agreement and it’s their purpose to push Jolanda to become the protector she wants to be.
The Council asks if Jolanda feels it’s safe for her children to be around her husband, or is it time to move on to protect them. The Council says these questions are there to push her in the direction she wants to go. And they add Jolanda doesn’t need to grow any more to realize the relationship with her husband is an abusive one.
The Council says Jolanda’s spirit wants to experience the other side of the coin – the kind of partner she’d feel unconditional love with and feel her children are safe, growing, and happy. They say it’s her choice and the lesson to protect herself and her children is right in front of her.
Jolanda says it’s difficult to be yelled at, blamed, ignored, and devalued by someone who means the world to her. And The Council asks if she believes by staying in this relationship she’ll acquire the strength she needs and the love she wants.
The Council advises Jolanda to love herself and her children and put herself on a path where she experiences this, and to picture herself as strong and happy, having a loving partner and happy children.
The Council says if Jolanda stays in this relationship it will stay the way it is. This is the way she created this relationship – to stay this way until she finds the strength to change it.
Listen to the entire 11-minute session (below) to hear all The Council’s guidance for Jolanda.
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