Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Choosing Childhood Abuse

This post answers questions from a reader named, Marie, who’s had an abusive childhood. She asks The Council if a soul can choose a life of pain and suffering, because she can’t believe she’s chosen this for herself. Marie also asks about a strained relationship with her brother in response to our post, What’s is the Purpose of a Decade’s-long Strained Relationship with a Twin Brother.

The Council says when you (in spirit) choose a particularly challenging life experience, you don’t think it will be horrible. In spirit you think you’ll be experiencing this difficulty because you’re not feeling your connection to who you truly are as a spiritual being.

When you’re living a painful physical reality it’s because you’re not fulfilling your purpose in this lifetime, which is to experience this difficulty and then turn it around. You have called in this difficult experience for one reason: to change it.

The purpose of this difficulty is to think how much more you are than a human being in a physical body. It’s to turn your thoughts toward love, no matter what you’re experiencing. Love has the ability to change everything. We are all here for the single purpose of bringing love into our lives.

As you meditate on your situation and begin to understand it, you’re realize this difficulty isn’t a punishment you’ve created for yourself or that others are putting you through. You’ve chosen this experience to change it.

Some souls choose to experience difficult emotions in this lifetime. They call in other souls that have agreed to abuse them, and they have agreed to do this only out of love so you can have this experience and get on with your purpose, which is to change your experience to something better.

Sometimes we pick difficult challenges to teach people around us to see it and perhaps change, or for people to see what we’re going through and have compassion for us. You are awakening in other spirits the vibration of love and compassion because you’ve experienced this.

Marie says her mother was able to show love to her brother and concludes her mother must have agreed with her to show her rejection as part of her life experience. And The Council asks Marie what she’s learned from this? Has she learned not to reject other people and realize she deserves more? Move forward on your path, show love, and do good deeds for yourself and others. Stop the hurting and always look forward to doing good.

Marie says she can’t understand how violence to a child can raise consciousness and lead to an experience of love. And The Council says as she looks at what she’s gone through hasn’t she expanded, even a little bit, and learned how to move forward. The violence has served it’s purpose. You have expanded, even if you don’t think so right now.

On a different subject Marie says she’s tried for a long time to make a better relationship with her brother, but he remains distant. The Council says contact with Marie can bring up difficult memories of the past for her brother. He’s choosing to shield himself from these heavy memories for now.

The Council says changing the way Marie sees her relationship with her brother can make it less painful. He’s not in the same place as Marie and isn’t looking to question his past so much. To get past this, send him the pink vibration of love. As he allows himself to take this in, your relationship will change.

The Council asks Marie if she’s ready to let go of the abuse she’s gone through? Now look forward. What kind of life do you want to create? As long as you focus on the abuse, you won’t move forward and create a new life with caring and love.

Learn from what you’ve come through. Change the way you see your life experience. Think about how this has enlightened you and taught the people who went through this with you what they needed to learn. Create the life you desire. Go into the vibration of love, joy, and happiness and think about this more and more.

You are a brave soul and have come through a lot. Now you are the creator of the rest of your life experience. Meditate on this information repeatedly. Eventually a little light bulb will go off and the understanding will occur on a very deep level and the healing will happen.

Marie needs to know that she’s gone through what she (in spirit) wanted to experience. It’s not her job to think about how everyone else handled it. The abuse didn’t happen because there was something lacking in her. It was set up in spirit for her to experience in her physical reality and now it’s over. Now it’s Marie’s turn to create the rest of her life.

Listen to our entire 18-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Marie and the rest of us on this important subject of why we choose in spirit to experience abuse in our physical life, and let us know your feelings on the subject.

October 31, 2017 - Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Expansion, Life Purpose, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Dear Cynthia & Bob, yes, it is exactly the question i have, if i´m born with a congenital deformation cause i´ve chosen by my soul in this lifetime, and also i want to know if i´ve chosen an specific experience in this lifetime that consists that everything i want or dream for me doesn’t´t happened to me but occurs to other people around me, and of course i want to know exactly what do i have to learn about it?. Because with the time i become a little bitter and frustrated with both situations. Thanks a lot for your patient and wisdom.


    Comment by fernanda wu | November 19, 2017

  2. Hi, Fernanda. Are you asking if you’re born with a physical illness or a congenital deformation that causes emotional and psychological pain, was this chosen by the soul of this individual to be experienced in this lifetime? Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | November 4, 2017

  3. Hi, Marie. We’re glad you liked what you’ve been able to hear of the audio session with The Council we recorded for you. We’re sorry you had difficulty listening to the whole recording and difficulty replaying it. We emailed you a link to an mp3 version of a one track recording. We suggest you keep trying to listen to the tracks on our blog. Maybe you’ll have better luck if you haven’t already been able to listen to the entire session. You also may want to try a different browser if you’re having difficulty with the one you’re using.

    The small laugh at the beginning of the session wasn’t in response to your question. The Council is usually in a pretty good mood when they come in and in almost every session we get a chuckle or a laugh.

    We understand it can be difficult to perceive what you experienced growing up in a new light, but as you meditate on it like The Council suggested, you may be pleasantly surprised.

    Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | November 4, 2017

  4. i wondered if the same answer applies when you born with a physical illness or a kind of congenital deformation that cause you emotional and psychological pain.


    Comment by fernanda wu | November 4, 2017

  5. Dear Bob and Cynthia, thank you so much for this response to my questions from The Council. Thank you also for such a speedy response. I was able to hear all the answers up until number 11, and then when I went back to listen again from the beginning, I could hear nothing which is such a shame because this is something that I would have liked to re-listen to several times. I shall just have to try and recall as much as I can from memory.

    Can I ask, did The Council give a small laugh at my first question? I ask, because, I didn’t expect to be able to hear the answers, as I have tried to listen on your other posts and found that I was unable to. So I was surprised to hear voices when I got my earphones to listen, really pleased that I was actually going to be able to hear the responses. So after a lot of fumbling around, I managed to hear some of the first reply, and I thought or did I imagine laughter from The Council?

    I am very pleased with what The Council had to say, and it has certainly given me much to think about. I am hoping that meditating on what has been said and trying to really understand what they have said regarding abuse, my relationship with my mother and brother, I will begin to feel much better about this situation. And also to some extent, the relationship with my father who I have distanced myself from because of the way he treated us. If, as The Council says, this is something I agreed with him, then I have to look at his cruelty and abusive behaviour in a different light. Although this will be very hard to do.

    Can I just add one more thing, please? I did actually get an apology from my mother about her treatment of me while she was alive. I actually wrote a letter to her (although she had died many years ago, and of course not expecting it to be read or replied to!!), but through a Medium, (and quite unexpectedly!) there was the mention of the letter I had written, along with an apology for the way she had treated me, and saying that she took responsibility for her behaviour. She had no hard feelings about what I had written, because she deserved it and I was not to blame or feel any guilt. So it seems that spirits can read letters?!! (Smile).

    Once again, thank you very much Bob and Cynthia and would you thank The Council for me? Best wishes, Marie

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by mariewilliams53 | November 2, 2017

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