Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Is It Time To Separate From My Husband?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused and Sad, who says, I’ve been married for close to 30 years. The last few years have had me reflect on how different my husband and I are, and how much we’ve grown apart. It seems our history and our finances are the main reason we’re still together. My husband is a good man, but we have very little, if anything, in common. We rarely agree on anything and this makes me very sad. I feel in my heart we’d both be happier apart, and perhaps have a chance to find a true partner who can make us happy.

The Council says the pre-planning of this marriage in spirit comes from a lifetime where you were both married to other people and you were very mean and selfish with your partners. You felt stuck in these marriages. You didn’t know each other in that life, but there was always the thought to find someone better. You thought you were with people who weren’t pretty, weren’t handsome, weren’t intelligent, people that made you feel closed in, or had nothing in common with you. And both your spirits were willing to work on the same issues so you decided to do it together in your current lifetime.

When you came into your current life it was to come together and learn how to accept who the other person is, whatever their issues were. You wanted to learn how to allow someone to be different. You don’t have to have all these things in common. You wanted to learn how to love yourself and not to look for someone new that would make you happy and feel loved. You must love yourself.

And then you took it a step further and you decided that because you were so selfish and mean in your past life, in your current life when you learned how to accept your spouse for who they were, you were going to try to help them feel good about themself. You were going to take the focus off of you and how miserable you felt, and how this person wasn’t making you happy, and try to do something for this other person,. and give of yourself. And in that you’d feel the change within yourself, and you’d feel better and more love for yourself.

At first we imagine this may be difficult, but when you see you’re focusing on the other person and allowing them to take in this beautiful energy you’re sending by trying to do something for them, or just the energy of letting them be who they are, what you’re looking for in other people you’ll find in yourselves. When you find it in yourselves, you’ll realize both of you created this situation in this marriage. You’re exactly where you need to be to realize: How can I fix this? I love this person, but I don’t, because there’s someone who’d be prettier or handsomer, someone that would give me more attention, someone that would make me feel happier than I am. All of this love comes from within you, not from another person.

When you ask yourself to be nicer, to be understanding, to say to yourself, Today let me do this for this person or with this person, knowing it’s something that person likes, you will be so proud of yourself, and the feeling you want to have in a marriage will return. It will not only return, but it will be better than it was.

Confused says, We’ve both tried to make each other happy for the sake of the children and family, but we’re just two very different people. The Council says, Isn’t that wonderful. Look at what you can learn from being two totally different people.

Confused says, We’re both scared to leave because we’re all each other has known for so many years. The Council says of course the feeling of being scared will come up because you know this isn’t what you wanted. You don’t want to flee your marriage. You didn’t plan to go off and find something else. You both created this situation so you could grow within yourself and for each other.

Confused says, I know we’re both confused and scared because separation or divorce can be just as difficult as staying together. The Council says if you were to do this and move on, the happiness you’re looking for you won’t find somewhere else. It’s within this marriage, it’s within yourselves that you wanted to grow and learn, and you will feel this.

Confused says, I’ve tried to figure out why we would have chosen each other, what lessons we were supposed to learn. Is it finally time to move on and co-create the life we’d both like to live? And perhaps find true love with a partner more suited for each of us that can make us happy?. The Council says this other partner you’re looking for will be no different because you both planned to live your life this way.

Confused says, We do try and communicate and work things out, but our thought processes are just so completely different. The Council says, Isn’t it wonderful?. Do you stop and wonder what your spouse is thinking of? Do you try to understand it? Do you try and see it? And you don’t have to agree with each other. That’s the most wonderful thing. You can still have your beliefs and your ways of thinking, but how interesting it would be to see how your spouse’s mind works. And you can learn much from this. Let go of being rigid and thinking we have different ideas. What can you learn from this? Maybe it would be fun for you to think this way. Or maybe you can learn from thinking this way. It’s all opportunities in front of you.

If you feel you don’t want to stay in this marriage, it’s always your choice. You’ll create it again because the lessons you want to learn are right here. All the opportunities are right here for you.

Confused says, Our thought processes are just so completely different that it never ends well. We just seem to see things completely differently. The Council says, And so you argue and you fight because you don’t agree because you think differently. When you go to school the teacher thinks differently than a student. The student in the back of the room could be thinking differently than a student in the front. You don’t fight over this. You listen and learn from it. But most important, you allow the person to be who they are. And that’s the most wonderful gift you can give anyone.

Confused closes by asking, Have we learned all we can from each other, and is it finally time to move on? The Council says we’ve given you the answer. We wish you so much fun on your journey. Take your focus off your disagreeing, your not having things in common, off the fighting and difficulty communicating. Take your focus and say, This is another spirit who’s agreed with me to come into this reality to create this situation. While we go through it we’re going to learn about each other.  Most importantly we’re going to learn about ourselves. Are we able to accept others if they’re not like us? Because your purpose in this life is to bring love into this reality.


Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and Scared and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

December 6, 2021 Posted by | Acceptance, Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Helping Others, Love, Marriage, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , | Leave a comment

Having More Loving Thoughts About Her Husband

This post is inspired by questions from a reader named, Vacha, who’s asked questions about her relationship with her husband before. She and her young son have moved back to be with her husband (and her son’s father) after a separation due to Vacha feeling abused in their relationship. She says everything is going well so far, but she isn’t feeling happy deep inside and suggests she may be finding it difficult to forget her husband’s past behavior.

The Council asks Vacha if her purpose for moving back with her husband was to be open to trying her marriage again? They say if she focuses on what happened in the past, she’ll never move forward. They ask what Vacha can do to make their relationship better? What would she like to see her husband doing, and talk to him about these things.

Vacha says she’s going to begin meditating on what to do and she asks for guidance to have more loving thoughts and be in a more positive state of mind. The Council says to have more loving thoughts, think about what brought her and her husband together in the beginning of the relationship. When she looks at her husband now, look at him with the understanding that he’s also a spirit in a physical body going through his own lessons. Is he trying to make the relationship work?

The Council says the purpose of this challenge in their relationship is for her to bring love into the situation, change it with her thoughts, and turn the situation around. See her situation the way she desires it to be. Stop focusing on being unhappy. Find the happiness from the memories she has and try to bring this happiness into her life every day.

Listen to our entire 6-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Vacha and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.

October 25, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thinking About Reconciling with Her Husband

This post is inspired by two separate comments from a reader named Vacha, who has asked other questions about her relationship with her husband and her son and here she follows up with additional questions.

First Vacha asks about her pre-birth plan with her son. She is separated from her husband who lives in the United States while she and her son have moved back to India where her family lives. The Council asks Vacha if she’s learned to be independent and if she’s making a happy life for herself and her son. This is in regard to advice they gave her in answer to previous questions.

Vacha wants to know if her son came into this life knowing she and her husband would separate and her son would live with her back in India. The Council says Vacha’s son came into this life knowing her separation from his father was a possibility. And The Council says Vacha planned to be there for her son to show him independence and strength and to give him the happy life he wishes to experience, whether his father is present or not.

About a month after Vacha wrote this question about her son, she wrote asking about her relationship with her husband. He recently called Vacha saying he understands the problems she has with their marriage and he’s willing to work on them, but Vacha has questions about her husband’s ability to follow through with this promise.

The Council asks Vacha why she’s questioning her feeling to settle in India rather than return to her husband in the USA as he’s requesting? The Council says settling in India is part of being independent and is part of her growth. The Council advises Vacha to honor what she feels.

The Council asks Vacha if she’s willing to put herself back in the relationship with her husband even though she questions her feelings about doing this. They ask what’s the rush to go back to this relationship and they ask what she has learned?

Vacha says she thinks about her son and feels if things work out with her husband it would be good for her son and for her. The Council says they want to make it very clear to Vacha that the father isn’t needed in her relationship with her son. The relationship with the father may get better and it may not. The Council asks if Vacha is creating the independence they advised. What is she doing to make her son feel safe and happy in their relationship between the two of them.

Vacha asks if she thinks about her relationship with her husband positively and possibly reconciles with him, is this a good time to do that. And she asks The Council what changes she should see in her husband and herself in order for the relationship to work out.

The Council answers that they have spoken about the answer to this question in past posts and if Vacha reviews them she’ll see their answers. The Council feels Vacha wants them to tell her what to do next, whether to be in a relationship with her husband or not. But The Council says they’re not the creator of Vacha’s life. They can show her what’s needed, her planning for her path, and how to create with her thoughts, but in the end the decision is hers.

How Vacha wishes her path to unfold is her choice. Focus on the life with her son. Focus on being independent. Focus on bringing happiness into her life with her son, and The Council says all the rest will fall into place.

Vacha is in a challenging situation. She has left her husband in the USA and returned to India with her son. She’s tempted by the thought of returning to her husband, as many women are tempted to return to relationships where they have been abused. The Council advises Vacha to learn to be independent, but in the end the decision is hers.

Listen to our entire 8-minute session on Vacha’s questions to hear all The Council’s guidance for her and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

June 21, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Feelings, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , , , , | 1 Comment

A Wise Decision to End a Pregnancy and Leave a Relationship

This post is inspired by questions from a 39 year old female reader named Eylem in Istanbul, Turkey, who has become pregnant twice in the last four months from the same man. She terminated the first pregnancy because she just met her boyfriend, started a new job, and wasn’t ready to have a child with this partner yet.

Two months after the termination of the first pregnancy Eylem’s relationship with her boyfriend has gone down hill and she was shocked to find she’s become pregnant again. She has decided to terminate this second pregnancy and not tell her boyfriend about it since they just decided to separate. Eylem thinks her decision to leave her partner is good for her and she asks The Council for their opinion.

The Council feels Eylem has made a wise choice to leave her partner. This will free her up to have a relationship with someone who shares her desires and there would be peace, love, and communication, which is important to her.

Eylem asks The Council why she got pregnant a second time. The Council says the soul came to help her realize the life she’s living now isn’t the life she wants and she doesn’t want to be with her partner any longer and raise a child with him. And they encourage Eylem to move forward in the direction of finding a new partner who wants what she wants.

Listen to the recording of our entire 8-minute session with The Council on Eylem’s questions to receive their full guidance for her and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

January 7, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Pregnancy, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , | Leave a comment

Why Would Spirit Choose to Be a Human Being Who Experiences Pain?

If you’ve read our Welcome post in the right-hand column of these blog pages, you may remember The Council’s #1 teaching: all human beings are spiritual beings in a physical body. In the 4-5 years The Council’s been speaking to us through Cynthia, this is the idea they have most consistently emphasized.

We mention this in connection to a recent question for The Council from Tanya, who says she’s having the most painful experience of her life because she believes a close personal friend has broken a soul agreement he made with her in spirit.

“Do you realize you have what you believe is a soul contract — we call an agreement, not a contract — with everyone that enters your life?”

I (Bob) mentioned to The Council that Tanya seems particularly interested in a specific soul agreement with one special man who’s been in her life, and how she feels he has broken this soul agreement.

“There is no broken contract or agreement. It is something that was decided between the two of you before you even entered into these bodies. And so when you go through something that is difficult, you believe, ‘uh-oh, something went wrong, this contract is broken.’

“It is exactly the way you wanted it to be, on [the part of] both partners.”

—The Council
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March 27, 2013 Posted by | Challenges, Expansion, Love, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Maria’s Plan for a Great Spiritual Leap

This post is about a question Maria asked after reading a Thought for the Day from The Council titled ‘Everyone In Your Life Was Invited By You‘.

Maria explains her best friend is on his deathbed and she’s experiencing a lot of emotional pain about this. She is asking The Council if it is also with her permission that her friend is exiting her life, because she’s having difficulty understanding why she would agree to ‘loose’ him at this time and in this way.

There is Agreement

“No one comes into your life unless you invite them. Their departing your life is something that they plan along with you, so there is agreement for both of you that when it is time, when you feel you have concluded what you needed to do together, one or both [of you] exit [the physical body].

“And so, although you find this very painful, it has been discussed and planned while you were still in the spirit world.”

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March 24, 2013 Posted by | Beliefs, Expansion, God, Love, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Thought for the Day | , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

   

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