Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Why Would Spirit Choose to Be a Human Being Who Experiences Pain?

If you’ve read our Welcome post in the right-hand column of these blog pages, you may remember The Council’s #1 teaching: all human beings are spiritual beings in a physical body. In the 4-5 years The Council’s been speaking to us through Cynthia, this is the idea they have most consistently emphasized.

We mention this in connection to a recent question for The Council from Tanya, who says she’s having the most painful experience of her life because she believes a close personal friend has broken a soul agreement he made with her in spirit.

“Do you realize you have what you believe is a soul contract — we call an agreement, not a contract — with everyone that enters your life?”

I (Bob) mentioned to The Council that Tanya seems particularly interested in a specific soul agreement with one special man who’s been in her life, and how she feels he has broken this soul agreement.

“There is no broken contract or agreement. It is something that was decided between the two of you before you even entered into these bodies. And so when you go through something that is difficult, you believe, ‘uh-oh, something went wrong, this contract is broken.’

“It is exactly the way you wanted it to be, on [the part of] both partners.”

—The Council
(The formatting above throughout this post represents The Council’s comments during our session. Text [in brackets] in these quotations has been added to improve readability and clarity when this seems useful.)

Often when a questioner appears to be feeling a lot of pain, The Council’s initial guidance seems more gentle and sympathetic, and if The Council doesn’t agree with what a questioner believes, The Council has a way of establishing rapport before suggesting to the questioner that one or more of their beliefs might benefit from looking at it another way.

In Tanya’s case The Council seems to prefer a more direct approach.

Boom! “There is no broken contract or agreement.” 

Boom! “It [the separation] was something that was decided between the two of you before you entered into these bodies.”

Boom! “When you go through something that is difficult, you believe, ‘uh-oh, something went wrong, this contract is broken.'”

Boom! “It is exactly the way you wanted it to be, on [the part of] both partners.”

This last comment is the one we feel can be the most difficult to understand. How in the world does it make any sense that someone would intend to experience the pain Tanya describes as the most painful in her life? After the following description of the rest of our session on Tanya’s question, we do our best to make some sense out of this point of view.

Allow Another Uniting

When I mentioned to The Council that Tanya describes her separation from this guy she wants to be with as the most painful experience in her life and this was the second time they’ve been together, The Council predicted:

“And there will be a third.”

“Knowing that this is something you agree to with this partner – and we have now let the cat out of the bag that there will be a third time – if you can get in a state of what we call ‘allowing this to happen’, [and] not consider yourself heartbroken, but going along and realizing, ‘okay, this is what we needed to experience,’ and by sending herself and this other person love, it will help them again come together for more of what they planned.

“But at this particular time the partner needs to find answers to his fears — which we see where they come from — there is a fear to commit because there is so much more to experience.

“And so because as a younger child he saw a lot of couples not working out, there is a great fear about this. And so if you allow this person to move away and face his fears and find his answers the way he will, there will be a greater understanding and there will be another uniting.

I asked The Council whether they saw the third coming together as temporary and they replied:

“We’ll allow him to come to his own decisions and allow you the adventure of going through this.”

We interpret this rather cryptic remark to mean the re-uniting is capable of going either way.

The Influence of a Lifetime in Greece

I asked The Council if they could tell Tanya about experiences in other lifetimes that are influencing her current lifetime.

“The one that most effects this particular lifetime we see in Greece… and she as a mother… and her partner as a young child that she is in service to their family. And they had a relationship where they were very close… and she was a very young girl, but taking care of this boy-child.

“And as he began to mature he was sent away, and so again there was this abandonment… a separation. And after several years he returned grown, and again she was working in that household.

“And so at that [later] time, again, they became close, as friends; and there was a lot of trust and sharing of experiences and feelings. And again, after several years he left. And so we see here an experience of these two of coming together and leaving, [and] coming together [again] and leaving [again].

“And in this particular [current] lifetime it is repeated, and through what they have planned, they will try to see now if there will be a coming together and staying together.”

“That is why it is so painful. There is the memory of this from before.”

A Mutual Desire to Stay Together

I asked The Council if Tanya and her friend had the intention,  prior to coming into their current lifetime, to see if they could bring enough love into their relationship to overcome the doubts and fears they’ve experienced, and stay together.

“Yes, a wanting to be together, as it was in that past life, but it was impossible.

“Here it is possible. And so through the experiences each one of them goes through, they have the free will to make decisions that will either keep them apart or bring them together again. It is their desire to experience the final coming together and staying together.”

Some Impressions of This Session

As we mentioned earlier in the post, when The Council tells Tanya the emotional pain she’s experiencing is exactly what she and her partner wanted to experience, this can be difficult to understand.

From The Council’s spiritual point of view, all human beings are eternal, loving spiritual beings in a physical body and it is our greatest desire as a spiritual being to expand the vibration of love we are as spirit. Although it may be challenging to understand from our human perspective, from a spiritual point of view the pain we experience as humans is seen more as an opportunity to expand the love we are as spirit than as a painful experience.

The contrast of physical reality with spiritual reality is an inspiration for the spiritual expansion of our love into a less loving dimension of existence to make it more loving — more like heaven on Earth. We believe The Council is saying that Tanya and her friend, as spiritual beings, intended to experience opportunities to expand the love they share in spirit, and they chose the challenge of a human relationship in a physical reality as inspiration for that expansion.

As spiritual beings, Tanya and her friend are focusing on the expansion of love that their human challenges inspire, and as spiritual beings they feel appreciation for the human pain and how it inspires the expansion of their love. The question is, will Tanya and her friend, in their human experience, allow themselves to become less focused on the difficulties of their relationship and more focused on the love that the difficulties are inspiring.

Let Us Know What You Think

Thank you for taking time to read this post. We hope you feel your time with it has been well spent. We’d love to know what you think of this material. Please consider leaving a comment in the Leave a Reply section below.

If you have any questions for The Council about ideas mentioned in this post or other posts, the Leave a Reply section is a good place to submit your questions. For questions not related to a specific post we suggest you write them in the Leave a Reply section at the very bottom of the Welcome page. We will be notified by email and reply as soon as we can.

March 27, 2013 - Posted by | Challenges, Expansion, Love, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , , , ,


  1. Thank you so much for asking the Council on this matter again. I do feel that this is a lesson for me. I know that because it is so painful, there must be a major soul lesson involved. It is comforting to regard it from a more spiritual point of view. This pain is not in vain 🙂 I look forward to reading/listening to the Council’s response. Thank you Cynthia and Bob.


    Comment by Tanya | December 14, 2015

  2. Thanks for the feedback about you and this man coming together for a third time, as The Council suggested. When we have time we’ll ask The Council for advise on this relationship and whether they see another reconnection in the future. We’re glad you feel stronger from this third coming together, even though it’s been difficult. And we’re glad you’re trying to see this relationship from a more spiritual point of view, which means you both have chosen the relationship. We’ll post a response when it’s ready.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | December 13, 2015

  3. I just want to let you know, Cynthia and Bob, that the Council was absolutely right. There was a third time we came together. It was earlier this year. He told me he wanted to marry me and the very next day he changed his mind and I have been depressed since. More heartbreak from this man. I do not know why it happened again and I feel foolish for allowing it to happen. I guess I thought he would finally realize things and not push me away. Now we are not talking at all. I do not know if we ever will again. I am okay if we do not.

    I was wondering if the Council has any advise on this relationship and if they see a reconnection in the future? I know I am stronger for this, even though it has been difficult. He has focused on the difficulties of the relationship, as you had stated, and I believe this is why he became so distant again. I apologize if I am asking too many questions. I am truly trying to see the situation as we are souls having a human experience and I must have chosen this relationship to learn. I just hope I am!


    Comment by Tanya | December 11, 2015

  4. Hi Robert,
    We like to imagine that anything you desire is possible. The spirit guides, Abraham, have mentioned this many times. We don’t remember if The Council has specifically mentioned this, but we can ask.

    Your belief about emotional pain as a tool that helps spirit incarnate into a human body is an interesting one, but this isn’t how we’re thinking about it. It’s our understanding that all you need as a spiritual being to incarnate into your human body is the desire for that experience. As far as emotional and physical pain are concerned, it’s our understanding these are human and physical reality indicators that your focus of attention is on something other than the love and joy you are as a spiritual being. We hope you find this helpful. We’ll ask The Council about this when we get a chance and let you know what they say in another reply.

    Love, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | January 13, 2014

  5. I believe that anything is possible. One thing that seems to true, is that emotional pain seems be a popular emotion amongst most humans. I have come to believe that pain appears to be an anchoring tool. That slows our vibration down enough,to be able to embody the human density and to have a flesh body. what your feelings with this?


    Comment by Robert | January 12, 2014

  6. Hello Cynthia and Bob, I want to thank you and The Council for your assistance and guidance with this painful physical experience. Interestingly, I had thought that I share past lifetimes with this man and that we were separated then as well. I had also already believed that things are not completely “over” and that I could re-unite with him again. From my contact with you, I feel lighter and more at peace. I am going to try my best to let go of any anger or resentment I have for him, and only continue to love him, as well as myself. Thank you, again. Sending much love to you all.


    Comment by Tanya | April 2, 2013

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