How Can I Help This Man With His Commitment Issues?
This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Unicorn, to our post, Why Has This Man In My Life Become So Distant? Unicorn says, I’d love to know how I can help this man with commitment issues, but I have no idea how to. His behavior has turned 360° and I think he’s met someone else and hasn’t been honest with me.
The Council says there are several relationships this man goes in and out of. But you’re helping him with his commitment issues by understanding them, then letting them go, and allowing this man to be who he needs to be. Forcing him to face these commitment issues doesn’t help this situation. Now that you know there are these commitment issues, you can’t force this. You can only accept the situation, wish this man well, and see how he moves along his path.
The Council says it’s always Unicorn’s choice to know she’s unable to heal what this man is going through regarding commitment. You can only be in this man’s life if you wish to be in his life, but you can’t heal his life. This man has to understand why these issues are going on in his life and he has to decide for himself if he wants to make a change. You see the situation as his commitment issue. It’s upsetting and you want to heal this. This man can be very happy not being committed to one person.
You don’t know the path this man is on. All you can know is, do you wish to be in this man’s life? Do you wish to be his friend? Can you handle this? If you’re only in this man’s life hoping you’ll be able to push him into understanding his commitment issues and he’d have an “ah ha” moment, this isn’t how things works. The choice is yours to be in some sort of relationship or out of it.
Send love into this relationship and watch it grow. Create with your thoughts the way you’d like this relationship to be. Create with your thoughts that whatever this man’s commitment issue is, why it’s there, and where it comes from, you can send light to this man to help him on his path.
Unicorn says, He always called me Unicorn because he never met someone like me before. Then overnight he pretty much became a magician when it comes to communication. He hardly ever communicates with me, but he agrees to see me without being intimate or affectionate when we’d become close in this way months ago. The Council says at this point it’s up to you. Can you deal with this kind of relationship? Is this what you want? Are you comfortable with this? See where the relationship goes and use your thoughts and your feelings to create more. The choice is always yours.
Unicorn says, I’m still confused why this man is happy to see me, but not communicate with me. The Council says he can be happy to see you now and then, when he’s in the mood, and he has nothing else going on. You don’t need to know the reasons why. If there’s happiness when you get together, be in that moment and enjoy it.
Unicorn says, I feel this man pushed his way into my life to cause grief and chaos. The Council says there was no pushing. Your coming together was planned in spirit. You let this man into your life to discover what you need to discover about you, and about how you let this relationship affect you. Moving forward, take your attention off this man and put it on yourself. Why are you in this relationship? Why does it bother you? Why do you stay in this relationship? How does it make you feel? How can you bring joy into this relationship when you’re together? Your purpose is to accept what this relationship is, to bring joy into it, and to appreciate what’s there.
Unicorn says, To be honest, I’m deeply hurt. I’m lost in what to do and need guidance. All I want is the truth to the situation. But if my soul has planned to be in his life to help him heal the issue of commitment, then I’d love to know how I can help. The Council says again, You can accept this person the way they are.
The Council says you’re all so much more than you think you are. You’re all on this wonderful path of growth, understanding, realizing there are many lives that you’ve experienced, and many more that you’ll create when you’re ready. Focus on being the creator. Focus on bringing joy and laughter into your life and everything will come to you. Everything will be shown. When you’re happy you’ll see the connections that are being made in your life. There will be more understanding. And stay in that feeling of joy.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Unicorn and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. And you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.
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How Can I Help This Man With His Commitment Issues?
This post answers a question for The Council from a reader named, Aquarius, who has a follow-up question to the ones we answered in our post, Why Has the Man in My Life Become So Distant? She says thank you for providing me with some clarity on this situation. Can you tell me how I can help this man with his commitment issues?
The Council says because this man is afraid to commit to an intimate relationship at this time, giving him room right now is the best thing you can do. If you try getting closer to this man at this time and push the relationship, this will go in the opposite way of what he needs. Be more of a friend right now and make the relationship as free as you can. Let this man come and go. When he does come, be there and enjoy the relationship for the way it is.
When there’s no pressure to take the relationship further and there’s just a lovely time getting together, in time this will help his commitment issue between the two of you disappear. Right now the best thing to do is to be friendly and give this man the freedom that no one is pushing him into a corner. Without going too deeply into what’s coming up for this man, these commitment issues are something he’s gone through in another lifetime.
Don’t force this relationship. Be loving. Be fun. Be open. When this man feels the want, not the need, to be around you, the relationship can begin to change.
If Aquarius has a desire to explore other relationships while she’s waiting for this man to work through his commitment issues, it’s up to her. Isn’t it wonderful that the choice is hers to decide how she wants to handle this situation? Do you want to see other people while you’re working on this relationship with this man? Or do you want to just concentrate on this man? This is why you’re the creator and you have the freedom and the choice, moment to moment, to make any choice you want. And if you don’t like the choice you make, you can make another choice.
Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Aquarius and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question in a comment box that appears at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.
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Why Did My Husband Cheat on Me with Another Woman?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Heartbroken, who says recently her marriage was falling apart because my husband was involved with another woman. I tried to understand why he got involved and what I might have done to cause the affair. The Council asks if Heartbroken has communicated with her husband about this and they say communication is the beginning of understanding. Rather than guessing why your husband had this affair or ignoring it, communicate with your husband and find out what went on for each of you.
Heartbroken asks The Council what her husband was trying to learn or experience from this affair. The Council says they don’t take the personal lessons of another person and explain them to someone else. The Council feels your husband’s lessons should come from him revealing this information to you. What The Council can tell Heartbroken is that both you and your husband chose this experience to learn commitment and what was more important in your current lifetime.
Heartbroken asks if her husband’s affair was pre-planned by the two of them in spirit. The Council says it was pre-planned something would happen to catapult both of you into this lesson of commitment, understanding, and communication to see how you learn from this. Heartbroken asks the purpose of this woman coming into their lives and The Council says commitment, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness.
Heartbroken asks The Council if she and her husband share any past lives with this woman that might have caused her to come between them. The Council says there’s no past life that’s caused this woman to come between her husband and herself. Her agreement was that when it was time for something to happen in the marriage, this spirit would volunteer to play that part. The Council adds that some other spirits also volunteered in case you were the one who cheated instead of your husband.
Heartbroken says her husband wants to save their marriage and not be with this other woman. And Heartbroken says she’s willing to forgive her husband even though it’s difficult. She asks The Council if there’s any possibility of this woman or any other woman coming back into her husband’s life.
The Council says if Heartbroken keeps focusing her attention on her husband being involved with one or more women and she stays in mistrust and doesn’t forgive him, she will create this situation in her life. Her husband can also bring in other women if the two of you talk about your difficulties, but you don’t hear what he’s saying and you don’t try to change your behavior so you become more attractive to each other.
Focus on forgiveness, love, and understanding. Think about the future and how you you’d like your life to play out moving forward. If you stay focused in your hurt and are unable to forgive your husband, you will attract more unpleasantness into you life. Or you can agree the affair was hurtful and neither of you wants to go through it again. How can the two of you make peace and look forward. What do you both desire? What little things can you do on a day to day basis to make each other happy?
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Heartbroken and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
If you like this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.
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What Lessons Can I Learn From My Deteriorating Marriage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, Heartbroken, who says her marriage is in shambles because of an individual. She wants to separate from her husband, but he wants to be in the marriage. Heartbroken wants to know what lessons she’s supposed to learn from this experience because she doesn’t understand what to do.
The Council says they see a lifetime not to long ago in Germany that relates to Heartbroken’s current life. In that life Heartbroken was a female who didn’t have any compassion, commitment, or understanding of the people around her and she expected perfection from these people. There was no patience with other people. Heartbroken had many suitors in that life and if they didn’t meet all her standards she’d leave them heartbroken.
In your current life try to understand where the other person is coming from and what they’re experiencing. Have patience and commitment with other people. At the end of your life in Germany you were very lonely and you had a lot of regret for how you treated people. In your current life you want commitment to people so that you don’t experience the loneliness you experienced in Germany. You want family and love. In your current life you want to learn about understanding, emotions, and commitment.
If there’s another person in your life and you think it would be better to get out of your marriage and be with this new person, if the lesson of patience and understanding hasn’t been learned, you will find fault with this person and want to move on to a new person. And this scenario will continue in your life until you stay still and try to understand where the other person is coming from.
What makes your husband behave the way he does? Is he asking for forgiveness? Is there a true desire to come together? Instead of throwing your marriage away is it possible for you to understand your husband better and move forward?
You need to get to the lesson in your experience. Do you understand why your marriage is in shambles? Is there a point where forgiveness can be given to your husband and then move on if you feel this is necessary? The main thing here is to understand your husband because in your past life in Germany you never bothered to understand people.
What is your role in the marriage? Why is it in shambles? What is your responsibility for your actions? Understand why your husband did what he did. Look for compassion, understanding, and forgiveness and then move on from your marriage if this is what you want.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Heartbroken and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
If you liked this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.
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How Can I Develop a Long-Term Romantic Relationship?
This post is inspired by a reader named Frankie who’s been in several relationships with men who haven’t been willing to make the commitment she desires. The Council asks if Frankie understands her partner doesn’t want a commitment, does she choose to stay in these relationships anyway? They feel there’s a part of Frankie that holds onto these relationships, even when she knows they’re not going in the direction she’d like.
Frankie is currently friends with a fellow she fell in love with several years ago, but the romantic part of the relationship didn’t work out. This fellow is currently in a relationship with a woman he intends to marry, and Frankie’s hurt by this because her friend is showing a commitment to his girlfriend that he never showed her.
The Council says coming into this lifetime Frankie wanted to know what was going on around her, and going forward in her relationships they recommend being aware if they’re what she wants. In this lifetime Frankie wants independence, awareness, and strength to be on her own. And this is one reason she hasn’t experienced a long-term commitment.
When Frankie is able to be on her own and love herself, she’ll have the relationship she’s looking for. It’s good for her to continue with relationships, but it’s good for her to be aware if they’re going in the direction she desires. And instead of hoping a relationship will work out, she wants to become aware of what’s going on and not settle for a relationship that isn’t exactly what she wants. She wants to be okay with moving on from a relationship she doesn’t want and being by herself for a while. And as she becomes more okay with herself, and loving herself, and knowing there’s more out there, she’ll pull in the relationship she desires.
Listen to the entire 10-minute session with The Council (below) to hear The Council’s answer to what Frankie wants to know about love, why she still feels a connection to her friend, and how she can break this pattern of getting involved with men that don’t want a long-term romantic relationship. And let us know what you think.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
Ask The Council a Question
If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
Finding Your Way Around the Blog
Home Page
The left-hand column on the Home page contain a long chronological series of posts with the most recent on top. Each post begins with a title. Clicking on a post title will take you to a blog page dedicated to that particular post. Following each post is a Like button where you can indicate to us and other readers if you like the post.
The footer section of each post identifies the date the post was published, the Categories the post has been assigned to, the keyword/keyphrase Tags assigned to the post, and a Comment link. If readers comments on a post, the Comments link will indicate the number of comments. If a post has no comments yet, the Comment link text appears as “Leave a Comment”.
Clicking on the Comments link takes you to a Comment text box on a post page dedicated to that post. Here you can type a comment in the text box and click the Post Comment button to have your comment displayed just below the text box. If you are replying to someone else’s comment, your comment will appear indented underneath the comment you are replying to.
At the bottom of the left column on the Home page is a ‘Previous Entries’ link that will take you to a page with a list of earlier posts.
Blog Features
The right-hand column of most blog pages contains this Welcome message. Below the Welcome message in the right-hand column are some useful features:
Email Subscription: Use this to subscribe to blog posts. You will receive an email notification with a link back to the blog each time a new post is published.
Search: Type a keyword or phrase and click the Search button to get a list of posts in the left column that contain the keyword or phrase.
Archives: The Archives list indicates the number of posts for each month listed. Clicking on the link for a month will display in the left column of the page a list of the posts published that month.
Categories: This is a list of keywords used to categorize posts. Posts can be included in more than one category, if applicable. Clicking on a category link will display in the left column a list of posts assigned to the category you selected.
Navigation Bar
The Navigation Bar at the top of each page contains a link to the blog Home page and links to the following additional pages:
Welcome: A link that displays this Welcome message in the left column (and the right column). At the bottom of the Welcome message is a Comment box where you can post a general comment about the blog or ask The Council a question.
Questions & Answers: Use this link to display a list of introductions to our longer posts, most of which are responses to reader questions. This is an easy way to check out these more in-depth posts. They are listed in chronological order with the most recent post on top. Clicking on the post title will take you to the page where you can read the complete post.
Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 