Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Help Leaving An Abusive Husband

This post is inspired by a follow-up question from a reader named Jolanda who wrote to us a few months ago about whether she should leave her abusive husband, and The Council advised her that she should leave because her husband wouldn’t change. They also said she should leave for the sake of her children. Jolanda says she’s spent these months trying to find a solution other than leaving, but she now sees her situation isn’t likely to get any better.

The Council says staying with her husband isn’t the direction she wanted to go in and they ask Jolanda not to give up hope on what she can create for herself. They ask if she believes she deserves better, and they say if she’s unable to live with this difficulty there’s another path to happiness. They suggest she look for the courage to pursue this happiness, and they add there’s no rush. Jolanda will get where she wants when she’s more comfortable within herself and researched how she’ll make her life work without being with her husband. She’s still in the beginning stage.

Jolanda says she thought she’d be married for the rest of her life and can barely imagine living without her husband. And The Council asks how she expects to change this situation when she’s unable to imagine the change.

The Council reminds Jolanda that to create a better situation she needs to continually focus on what she desires. If she goes through this situation day after day and doesn’t focus on what she desires because it’s difficult to see a better way, her situation will remain unchanged.

The Council says if Jolanda is unable to find it in her heart to leave her husband, the lesson here is still finding courage. While she is still in this relationship she doesn’t have to take abuse, which she has created, from her husband. Put herself and her children first. Learn to be protected.

The Council sees Jolanda has a lot of work to get to the point where she can focus on how she’d like to live her life. The lesson can be learned, but instead of feeling hopeless she needs to change her thinking. However long this takes, she’ll find a way to do this.

What can she do to find happiness for herself and her children while she remains in this situation? When she goes into a vibration of happiness, the abusive vibration will not match her happiness and won’t continue to bother her. Eventually it will stop.

The Council says Jolanda needs to take her focus off how horrible her situation is and change her thoughts. It’s her spiritual job right now to find a way to bring the love and happiness into her home.

The Council finishes with a reminder there’s nothing more powerful than your higher self. Think of yourself as a great spirit and warrior that has picked a tremendous challenge to go through, and you knew you could do this. There isn’t anything more powerful than your higher self. Pay attention to this part of you. Use the tools you’ve been given and keep focusing on the life you desire.

Listen to our entire 16-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all of their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us. And let us know what you think.

November 11, 2016 - Posted by | Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Desire, Marriage, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , ,


  1. Ps, I wonder (if you have time), if you could explain the strong feelings of attachment, obligation and protection I have towards him? I feel like this whole relationship has been guided by this magnetic pull, which went against my own knowing and allowed me to ignore so many warning signs. All because I felt an intense need to protect and care for him.

    I thought this must be caused by some very powerful past life issues between us, which have brought us together and kept us together despite so many odds. But you say we had a pre-birth plan to do this. Could it be that the plan is the cause of all these strong feelings in me? Or is there more to if, as I believe there is?

    I’m not sure if I believe in karma any more, but it feels “karmic”, if you know what I mean. If it is karmic, will we resolve these issues in this lifetime?

    And do you see me finding true happiness? My life had been nothing but a relationship battleground so far. I would really like to finally experience the peace, harmony and true love that I feel I deserve.

    With much love again,


    Comment by Jolanda | November 11, 2016 | Reply

    • Hi, Jolanda. When we have time we’ll ask The Council your additional questions about your relationship with your husband and post The Council’s response as soon as it’s ready. Love, Bob & Cynthia.


      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | November 12, 2016 | Reply

  2. To the Council: Wow, thank you so much for your amazing powerful reply. I hear it and feel exactly what you mean. I feel very blessed to have “spoken” with you, and I understand now so much better the situation I’m in and what I need to do next.

    Funny enough, a little over 24 hours ago, possibly while this reading was taking place, a great feeling of knowing came over me which conveyed this exact message to me (but in much less detail). So reading this now, and hearing your words just gives me extra confirmation and clarification.

    Thank you so so much, and thank you for your blessing at the end.

    To Cynthia and Bob, thank you for choosing to answer yet another one of my questions. I’m deeply grateful for what you do.

    Much love to all of you, hugs and kisses from me!


    Comment by Jolanda | November 11, 2016 | Reply

    • Glad you like the reading and you understand your situation better. Thanks for your appreciation.


      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | November 12, 2016 | Reply

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