Ask The Council

Recommendations for Improving a Difficult Life After Divorce

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Laurie, who left a 25 year marriage a couple of years ago to a man she believes is a narcissistic sociopath. She investigated her ex-husband’s finances in preparation for the divorce, but the mediator wouldn’t hear details. She broke down and settled on the divorce terms and later realized it was at a large financial cost to her. The Council asks Laurie, when she realized the divorce wasn’t fair to her, was she able to let go of this because she’d made the decision? Or did you feel anger and loss, and that you were taken advantage of, and now feel the divorce was wrong?

The Council points out that the decision you made was to accept the divorce settlement, and it’s very difficult for some people to see where their decisions bring about what’s happening. Do you want to put yourself in a place of fear and anger and fight the settlement you accepted. Or has this taught you a valuable lesson and now you wish to move forward in peace and begin to create the life you wish to have?

Laurie says she feels lost, financially scared, and despite all the horrible things her ex-husband has done to her, she misses him because she’s afraid of living alone, unloved, and unable to do things that may have been possible in the marriage. The Council says because of finances and the fear of being on your own are you willing to put yourself back in a situation that was unbearable? The Council asks Laurie to question herself about this decision. Why would you put yourself in a situation where you’d have to go through the difficulty again, and it would be the same. What’s the reason for going back to this man? Is it worth hanging onto this relationship that will prevent you from moving forward and creating a new life because you’re in the middle of this traumatizing experience?

You and your ex-husband have both agreed in spirit to create your marriage. What have you learned? If one person is beating up the other person, why would you consider going back to that? Isn’t there an easier way to learn? Or have you forgotten you came into this lifetime to bring love into your life? That’s the bottom line why you’re here.

The Council says Laurie isn’t alone. There’s always spirits around you that are willing to help you if you give them a chance. If you have the littlest bit of faith, signs will come to you through dreams, through readings, and through talking with people. Opportunities will open up for you when you simply say I want to experience love. I want to experience a life where I’m happy and feel safe. Put this out there on a daily basis. Visualize the kind of life you’d like to have and create this with your thoughts. You’ll begin to build what you desire so that it shows up in your reality.

Laurie says she’s 57 years old and believes stress is taking a toll on her previously healthy body. She’s confused why she’s suffered from her divorce rather than having gotten to a better place. The Council says the marriage was an experience she wished to have and then move forward. Do you sit and think over and over all the uncomfortable things you went through? Or do you say to yourself it’s a new beginning. I’ll begin to create from a place of love.

Many people who go through a divorce are very sad and they get stuck in that sadness and don’t move forward. The Council says they can see that happening in Laurie’s case. They say not only are you not moving forward, but you’re thinking about going backward.

Find joy in things you like to do. Appreciate you’re not in an uncomfortable relationship with a partner like your ex-husband. When your thoughts change the situation must change and your body must change. You’re a spirit in a human body and you’ve created your life every step of the way. Can you wish your ex-husband happiness in the lessons he needs to learn? What were the signs your relationship was detrimental to you? What do you see that you’d handle differently? How would you bring more joy into a relationship?

You’re at a place where you can begin to move forward and change everything. There’s no need to go back. There are many new friends available to you. There are some old friends from other lifetimes that will come into your life. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter how horrible you think it may have been, you agreed in spirit to experience it and you’ve come through it. Now ask yourself where can you go from here? What do you want?

Laurie says she’s been given the lesson that life isn’t fair, but still wants to believe light triumphs over dark. The Council says of course life is fair. It’s exactly what you wanted to experience. It may not look like wonderful experiences, but it’s what you called in to your life.

The Council recommends Laurie read books about changing her life, like Emmanuel’s Book, by Pat Rodegast and books from Abraham, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Fill your mind with the words of spirit. And try the exercises that are explained in the Abraham books.

Laurie says she still thinks about going back to her ex-husband despite all the horrible things he’s done to her. She’s empathetic to the hurt little boy inside him rather than focusing on the horrible things he’s done. The Council says it’s wonderful you can feel for the little boy inside him. The Council says that’s a plus, not a minus. Perhaps you can send that little boy some love with your thoughts. Perhaps you can send beautiful pink energy to the adult to help him move forward with their lessons.

By not blaming your ex-husband and understanding he also had lessons he wanted to learn from your marriage, and that you both agreed in spirit to everything that happened in your relationship, the love within you expands and you will grow. Whether you wish yourself love or you wish other people love, just thinking about love changes your vibration.

The Council advises Laurie to do simple steps first. Be grateful. Send love. Be interested in what other people say when they come along to help you. Give other people compliments and be kind. You’ll see yourself beginning to feel better.

Listen to the 15-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Laurie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

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January 13, 2019 - Posted by Cynthia & Bob | Abraham-Hicks, Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | Appreciation, Divorce, Dreams, Emmanuel by Pat Rodegast, Gratitude, Joy, Spiritual Readings