What Can I Do About My Son’s Anger Toward His Brother?
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who says, I’ve been working on my relationship with my young son. In many ways it has improved and he seems to walk through the world with less anger. However, he still seems to have an enormous amount of anger and jealousy toward his younger brother. This is causing a lot of tension in our family and makes it difficult to trust him. Will his anger and jealousy ever go away?
The Council says his anger and jealousy will go away in time if he handles the challenge he’s set up for himself in spirit. Then this will change. At this particular time there is a jealousy of the younger brother, and this is normal in many families. And yet your son has brought in grudges from a few lifetimes, of feeling ignored, abandoned, and feeling that in these other lifetimes he wasn’t treated properly.
The way your son set up this lifetime was that he wanted to be the star attraction, and now having a younger brother, he doesn’t feel that way. There’s a lot of chaos going on and emotions that he doesn’t quite understand right now. He only knows that he isn’t very fond of his younger brother.
It’s good for you to have lots of patience at this time. The only thing you can do is show love, but there are also times where discipline is needed. What’s wanted here is equal attention between the two brothers so that the older son would see that his younger brother was special, and so was he.
Your problem son has to come to terms with being in this reality. If he wants to be a star or to have lots of attention, the way to get this attention is by finding something he loves and developing that talent, not by putting fear and worry in others, and by negative behavior. You have to find a way to show discipline, and also show love at the same time.
Anonymous asks, Is there anything I can do to alleviate this anger and jealousy? The Council says you have to remember that he is the creator. Even though he and you don’t understand what’s going on at this time, he set it up this way in spirit so he can find himself, and find the kind of person he really wants to be. By allowing him to be himself, by allowing him to learn about discipline and about being kind to others, that’s the way you help your son find the path he’s looking for.
Anonymous asks, Where does this anger and jealousy come from? The Council says it comes from other lifetimes where he felt ignored and he was disciplined improperly and unfairly. Your son has gone through lives where he was punished for things he did, and things he didn’t do. In one of these lives your son was thrown out as a very young child around nine years old. This is all in the subconscious, which is stirring up feelings that are confusing him. He doesn’t know how to let go of these hurt feelings from other times.
With patience, discipline, and showing love to both boys in front of each other, showing the younger son the love you have for the older son, and showing the older son the love you have for the younger son, showing kindness, and showing understanding, that’s how you teach and help him find his way.
Anonymous says, In the past The Council suggested I go to therapy, and I have. It’s been okay, but I honestly can’t seem to cultivate a sense of calm and peace in our family. My son is very resistant to any sort of calming technique like meditation and breathing. He prefers to laugh maniacally and endlessly pick on his little brother.
The Council says, When your son laughs maniacally, how do you handle it? Do you become angry? Do you become fearful? Instead, there’s a way you can just look at your son, with your eyes show him love, but immediately turn and walk away. Do not feed it or ask him why he’s doing this. Walk away and he’ll have to deal with what he’s done.
Anonymous says, I’m very open to any perspective or suggestions from The Council. The Council says it’s like we’ve said before, love is the answer, but so is understanding, and so is allowing your son to become who he wants to become. At this time it takes a lot of patience on your part. There’s a lot of unnecessary behavior going on. Know that while this is going on that you won’t condone it, but you won’t fight it and have long discussions about it either. When this behavior comes up, look kindly, but then turn and walk away. This will be unexpected, and that will help him find another way of thinking about what’s going on.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for the anonymous reader and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Bob & Cynthia
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Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
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1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
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