Ask The Council

Follow-up Questions On Allowing

This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who asked the questions for our post, I Feel Like Women Should Not Tolerate Or Allow Sexism.

Anonymous: I appreciate your response, and while it is unexpected, I definitely appreciate it. With that said, I do have some follow-up comments I’d like to add.

If we were to embrace the concept of allowing as outlined in your previous post, then our society would be in a terrible place. The idea that we should allow negative or harmful behavior because it is someone’s path is difficult to fathom.

Council: Let us make it a little clearer here. By allowing, it’s not in your power to change somebody. If you come across someone committing a violent act, this is their path, their lesson. But we never said that if someone is being raped, or beat, or abused in front of you, you would not step in to try and help that person. If they’re lying on the floor, wouldn’t you call for an ambulance or for some sort of assistance?

We are here to bring the love from spirit into this reality. Not to change anybody, but to bring that energy of love in so more and more people will feel it. And by allowing that energy into everyone, whether they accept it or not, things will begin to change.

We’re not here to walk away from someone being abused, or murdered, or hurt in any way. It’s like the way you would help someone who was hit by a car, or falls off a horse or a bike. You would help someone, but you should understand you can not change the person who is doing any of these behaviors. It is their path. And by allowing that person to do that, not liking what they are doing, not thinking you’re going to change them, but allow them, and send them light, and hope that they can feel it and change.

But if it isn’t their path to change, there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing. You just keep sending light. That’s a wonderful tool that we have. Some people send light, some people pray, and some people meditate on the subject of what is going on, but the thing is not to bang your head on the wall because you can’t change a person.

If they want a conversation – and it has to be wanted by both parties – you can talk to someone about it, but if they aren’t open to it, they will not understand it. They might get mad, or they will completely ignore you. So for you to think that you have to change this person, you can’t allow them to do this, you can’t stop them from doing what’s on their path. You don’t know why they want to do it, but of course you can help the ones who are the victims, and maybe speak to them so that they aren’t stuck in that situation.

Maybe you can help them by telling them where they can go and what they can reach out for to get help. But suppose this person doesn’t want to? Or just says yes, yes, and doesn’t do it? So you’re not to take on that responsibility and beat yourself up because you’re not getting through to that person. It is sad and upsetting if they don’t want to get themselves to a better place, but you don’t know their path, you don’t know their purpose, or why they need to go through this. Is it for them? Is it for the perpetrator? Is it for the family around them?

There’s always a story with each soul, why they pick what they pick, but of course you are to step in and help. If it is a law that has to be changed, if it’s something in the government, then you have the right to vote on that law. Do what you can to put the right people into your government. That’s how you can change on a large scale what is going on. Put out there what you believe in, but you don’t force it on anybody. You do what in your heart you feel is right. And whether it works or not, be proud that you are taking chances, or you are stepping up, or you are speaking out.

But you cannot change another person. That is what is meant by allowing. You cannot change the person that does the abuse. You cannot change the person that is being abused. It is their path. It is their choice. And of course – and on a very deep level you know it and everyone knows it – we’re here to help each other, and for us to learn to grow, and to understand, and to realize there are good things in life, and not-so-good things in life.

But how do you handle it? That’s the lesson. If you go crazy and you’re ranting, that’s not going to help you, and it’s not going to help anybody else. But if you do, quietly, quickly, what can be done to help, then you are growing, and you are putting out there the right vibration.

So of course we say you can help. Of course you can step in and help the person that is being harmed, but you cannot change the personality of the person that is the abuser until they are ready. And when they are ready, it will come about without any lectures, without any forcing from anybody. They will get to that part in their path.

And we hope you do understand this, that we are saying help when you can. Send out love. Send out good thoughts whether you understand it or not. Pray for these people. And when you send them light, hope that they will receive it. And in time, when they are ready, they will.

Anonymous: If I were to see a woman getting raped in an alley, I should just ignore it because it’s their path?

Council: No. That’s not what we are saying.

Anonymous: I should be okay with a husband murdering his wife for whatever reason he sees fit?

Council: Of course not. And we have just explained that.

Anonymous: I should be okay with children getting abused and neglected because it’s their path?

Council: Never.

Anonymous: There are plenty of negative and harmful behaviors that we advocate against. Why not this one?

Council: We would like to put out here that a wife that is being abused, a child that is being abused, one of the things that some people that go through this want to learn is they need to feel loved and they need to feel cared for. So they stay in these situations where the husband beats them up, or someone on the street beats them up, and this happens. They call this into their life because they want someone to step in and help them, not go after the person that’s doing it, but to help them – a stranger to show kindness, to show concern and love for that person. That’s what is needed.

And if that’s the way they need to go about this, to feel loved and know, “Oh, even a stranger came in and helped me,” and you do this, you grow and grow in the spiritual world. You help that person in the spiritual world to start feeling better and wanting better for themselves.

And we hope that you think about this and come to a place of understanding. And whether you understand this process or not, when you are in spirit and you decide to come in for all the lessons you want to learn, all the things you want to learn, you want to bring that love in. You want to, in every situation, handle it with love, not with force, not with fighting, not with horrible arguments. Just quietly go about and help the person that needs it.

Anonymous: I don’t agree with some of the assertions in your post above.

Council: And that’s allowed, too.

Anonymous: I don’t go around telling men or women how to live their lives.

Council: That is good.

Anonymous: I don’t think everyone should think like me. I have no intention of trying to control people or make them think a certain way.

Council: Then you are one step ahead of the thinking of someone who wants to force something down one’s throat. But that shows that on some level you already understand part of this situation. And so with you writing and asking this question, your higher self is saying, “Give me more information on how to do this [allow].” You’re already starting to believe, and now you need a little bit more information to work with it. You are in a wonderful place. You should applaud yourself.

Anonymous: If a woman wants to be a prostitute, then great, it’s her choice.

Council: Yes, it is her choice.

Anonymous: However, I have never met a woman who loves to be sexually harassed, sexually abused, or raped.

Council: Unfortunately there are some people who choose that on their path. And you don’t have to know the reason why, but there are women who like to be beaten up. There are women – even men– who like the idea of being abused, but that is for them to deal with, not you. And it could be difficult for you to understand there are some people out there – and there are, there are many – but it’s something that’s on their path that they need to work with.

And so they call this in, and it’s not your place to change it. But you can help them when they are bleeding, when they are homeless, when there’s any sort of abuse going on. You can help them, but then you let go and hope that on some level they begin to get it, and they begin to realize they are spirit. They are love. And this is not the way to receive love, by being beaten up and being abused.

And that’s the only job you have. To be there to love, to help, and to understand if you can. And if you can’t, that is not your problem. You are here to send in the love, the light, the higher vibration, and that’s it.

Anonymous: Women shouldn’t just accept being sexually abused, sexually harassed, or raped because it’s that man’s path to violate them.

Council: But again, this is your opinion that women shouldn’t accept that. Well some people need that on their path, and hopefully they realize that there’s something better for them. And again, that is not something for you to judge or to be upset about. You can feel sorry for that person. You can not understand what is wrong with this person, getting sexually abused and getting a black eye.

You don’t have to understand it. You have to understand it is another spirit that has come in and has called in a very difficult lesson to learn in the physical world. And when you can get to that point just know, I’m only here to help that person, whether it’s in person, whether it’s telling them different places they can go, or whether it’s just being an ear for them to talk to and send them light. You show them kindness, touch a hand, touch a shoulder, show a sign of love. That is your path.

Anonymous: Women are human beings who deserve respect and to be treated equally.

Council: Everyone does.

Anonymous: As long as men continue to treat women like they are only sex objects we will never be treated equally. I also acknowledge that we can’t control the way people think, but we can educate.

Council: You can educate them if they want to be educated. There has to be a two-way street. Some crimes are put on TV to try to reach people all over your world. And maybe some stories will hit some woman living far away who realizes, “Oh my God. This woman got killed from being in this situation. Let me try and get away.” You don’t know how these stories that are horrible to hear about reach someone and give them that extra strength to get away. So there’s education by putting a horrible story on the TV that will help someone somewhere in your reality.

You can talk to someone who is going through something abusive, but can you go to a violent person and calmly sit down and say, “How could you do this? This isn’t right.” They’re not going to understand. They are not in the vibration to let your words in. You can do what you can and that is wonderful, but then you have to let go, and that’s where you have to allow. That is the allowing. You cannot change anyone else,

Anonymous: And education can be done without sticking it down their throat or stomping all over somebody else for the way they are behaving.

Council: What about the person – say the woman that is married to a man that beats her up all the time – and you know this person and you’re saying, “Well you know, don’t do this. Why are you there?” And their response is, “But he loves me. He didn’t mean it.” They think that is a form of love, to beat them, to be very, very sorry they did that, and they stay with you because they want to be loved and this is the only way they feel they get it. “Well let him beat me up because he stays with me and he is very sorry when he’s not drinking.”

So again, you don’t know why these people are going through this, what their understanding is, or what they’re looking for. Maybe they were taught as a young child that they were nothing. They were worth nothing. Who would want them? They were just a waste and a stupid person. They grow up with this. So they get a man or wife – women do beat their husbands – and they put up with that because sometimes they are treated really nicely, so they settle for that. It is their lesson. We say it again, and again, and again: It is their lesson. It may be difficult for you to see it, but your job – and you understood that coming into this reality – is to allow everything that is going on.

Always step in and help when you can and it’s not dangerous for yourself, but that is all. You step in, you show love, and maybe you can give the person the right direction to go in, but that is all. And you can say, “Oh, it makes me so mad. It makes me so sad.” Okay. That is playing with your emotions, but your job is to allow it.

“I don’t want to see this. I don’t want to hear about this. How could they let this happen to them?” It is their path, and it is your path. You called it in to learn about it. You called it in to see it so you could get to a place where you could handle it, not by changing anybody, but by allowing and helping each person. That is your only job.

Anonymous: A respectful conversation can be had, and I don’t exactly know why you are alluding to something other than that.

Council: Of course it can be had, but it has to be wanted by two people. If somebody is just going to sit there and listen to you and in their mind they’re going, “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” it’s not going to do anything. It has to be wanted. It has to be guidance for them to give them more understanding and the ability to get out of whatever situation they are in, but if someone wants to listen to what you have to say, that’s it. But your job is to say it if it makes you feel good and let go.

Remember you are spirit doing your part in this. They are their spirit going through what they are going through, but you called it in because now you are involved. You called it in to learn from it, to learn how to handle it, and to make you be a more loving spirit. And most of all, what we’re all here for is to allow. Accept everybody the way they are. You do not have to like it. You do not have to agree to it. You help where you can, and you allow whatever is going on.

So it’s a big lesson for you also. This does not come to you out of nowhere. Remember, whatever you face, whatever you hear a lot about, whatever you go through, you called it in. No one else called it in. You have an agreement with spirits to find out what they are going through, to see what they are going through, or to find out what a stranger is going through to see what it does to you and how you handle it. We hope you understand this. And if not, you will eventually.

Anonymous: Change starts when people get tired of the status quo. So as soon as more women learn what their real value is and stand up for themselves, maybe this archaic, misogynistic way of men – not all men – will come to an end.

Council: That would be wonderful. But every woman and every man that is abused has to find their way through it.

Anonymous: But as long as the behavior is allowed, it will never change.

Council: It is allowed because it is wanted, and because there are reasons behind it. There are things that people have to learn on their path, and there’s a reason other people have to hear about it. There are many, many reasons and you will never know why. The only thing is, whatever you face in this reality, your place is to allow and bring in love any way you can. Allow and bring in love.

And before you came into this reality and you spoke to your guides, and set up whatever you were going to go through, always we say when you are ready to leave spirit and come into this reality, we will be sending you love so you go on your path, and you learn how to handle it, and you grow from it, and you help others, and you find love everywhere that you can.

We always tell you that we are always with you. We are there for you because we know what you picked. And some of you have picked some real doosies to go through, but you will go through it, and at the end you will transition back to spirit and you are fine. You feel great. You are happy.

And you go, “Oh, wow. I handled it this way. Ah, you know, I don’t like the way I did that. I could have done that differently.” And you are learning. And when you come back and we talk to you about all this, we learn. We learn what you were feeling and what you were thinking, and we all grow. It’s wonderful. We all grow from each other’s lessons, from each other’s trials, from each other’s successes. You are not living this reality in a shell.

Anonymous: I want women to know their value. I want women to know they are worth more than just their sexual parts, and this comes from a place of love. You are worth more.

Council: It’s wonderful that you want this. How do you plan on doing this? Are you going to go around the whole world and preach to people? We all want to feel good about ourselves. You do what you can. You help where you can and let everyone go through what they have to go through. Just allow it, and send out the thought that the world is getting better, that many people are beginning to realize who they are, and that things are getting better all over this reality.

And you can even do that with the wars that are going on. You send light to these countries. You see them healing. You see things getting better and where violence isn’t needed. You do that with your mind. You don’t travel to that country and preach there. You send it light. You think good thoughts. You imagine good things. You imagine things changing for the better, and that is how you step in and help everyone.

And so we wish you well on your path. It is a wonderful question that you asked. And it may take time for you to understand what we are trying to get across, but know that we are always with you and we will help you on your path to open up and understand things. And know that part of your path is to allow, help, and love where you can, and then where it’s not possible for you to help, see it in your mind.

Send beautiful green energy, or pink energy, or beautiful golden energy all over your planet, all over your reality, and things will begin to change. And the power of the thought is so strong that until you start to constantly do it, you will not understand. As you do it, you will see little changes happening all around. Just little changes.

And when you hear of good things you can say, “Well I’m part of that because I’m thinking good thoughts.” Maybe not specifically for that person, but I am thinking good thoughts, and that energy goes out everywhere in your reality. So when everyone succeeds, and someone is happy and changes what is going on for them, for the world, for your country, for your city, for your neighborhood, when you have good thoughts, you are helping all of this happen.

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April 11, 2024 - Posted by Cynthia & Bob | Questions & Answers