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Will I Ever Have An Intimate Relationship?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Derek.

Derek: Hello. I have come to you once before, several years ago, in the most crucial and largest turning point in my life. You gave me very intimate and heart-wrenchingly sound advice. This question is one that’s been on my mind but has been building a lot over the last few years.

I’m nearing 27 years old, and I’ve never had an intimate relationship. I’ve never had a girlfriend because I just feel that I’m too different from the people I come across to make anything work. For my sake and theirs, I have avoided it.

Council: When you speak of being different, do you feel less than, or more than? Do you feel like you don’t fit in? So we would ask you to play with those thoughts and see the feelings and thoughts that come to you when you think of being different.

Sometimes thinking you’re different makes you feel very wonderful because you have a lot to offer. Others think that by being different, you are less than, you don’t equal up to everything, or you have nothing to offer. So there are different ways to look at this. And we would say for you, your difference is that you are you.

You have come to this reality to work through challenges, which we will talk about. And you are different because each spirit is different in different lifetimes, and at different times of one life where there are many things you wish to learn.

And so yes, there is a difference, but it is a good difference, and we would like you to try to convince yourself to think about, “How am I different? And are there people that are also different that are looking for partners, or better jobs, to improve their life?”

But we want you to know, what you have planned is definitely different, but it doesn’t make you less than. It doesn’t mean that you cannot have a relationship. So if you think you are different, and you cannot have a relationship, we ask you to change that focus, and get excited about who you’ll meet, who will also be different in their own way. And keep that door open, that you are excited, and you want to pull in another person that you feel is different.

Derek: I long for an intimate spiritual friendship that I know is really my yearning for spirit. However, I have not advanced far enough along yet to experience God intimately in meditation.

Council: You can always sit quietly in a chair and talk to God, whether you feel it or not. It’s a connection that’s always there. You don’t have to reach a certain level, but begin to know in your heart that God is there listening, speaking to you, and you are open to making the connection even greater than it is.

Derek: I know I ultimately have control over my life…

Council: Well that is true.

Derek: …and it’s my decision whether or not to pursue God quickly and directly alone, or maybe through another.

Council: Let us say here, it’s wonderful you are seeking God, and many people do in their own way. But you are saying to directly seek God, or perhaps find God through another – yes, people that come together that feel a great bond, even if they have a life with challenges, that bond with that person is helping you both seek God. It’s helping you both connect with God.

So there is no, “Should I or shouldn’t I have a relationship.” A relationship will not prevent you from connecting with God. There is a coming together. And when spirits come together, you connect with God whether you know it or not. But for you to think you either do it alone or do it with another person, we say you can do it with another person. Many people do it with another person. And so, do not feel it must be one way, or you get to leave and stay by yourself.

Derek: I have only been working with a girl at work for three days (as of typing this), and we’ve barely spoken, but I feel a strong connection to her. I’ve gotten lovesick for at least one other girl in the past that destroyed me for a time. Is my heart accurate in my sudden feelings for this girl in particular?

Council: We would say that the feeling that you are getting with this girl is showing us that you are in a place where your thoughts are different, that you are becoming more open to a relationship, that what you are going through is allowing another person, another possibility of someone to come into your life.

That doesn’t necessarily mean this is the forever person. But little by little we see here that you will try to bring in someone in your life, and that is a step forward for you. This is very, very good. And so if it works, it is wonderful. If it doesn’t work, then you will bring in someone else. You are in that place of letting go of the past and what you wanted to experience in this lifetime.

Derek: Am I meant to be with another in this life?

Council: If that is what you want.

What has happened is in one of your past lives you had many partners, so to speak. You visited many brothels, and that was your life, going woman, to woman, to woman. And towards the end of your life, you were very disappointed and sad that your life didn’t become more, where there was someone special in your life. You just went and had many, many women.

And so on leaving that lifetime you thought, “Well, the next lifetime I will forget all this running around. I will just have a life for me.” And so that is why you have not been bringing somebody in. But in spirit, before you came into this life, you decided you wanted to bring somebody in, but it would be one person who would be special. You would be special to each other. There wouldn’t be running to brothels or loneliness. You will find the in-between place. The happiness that you wanted with family and with an intimate relationship. And that is what you are trying to work through this lifetime. Isn’t that clever of you?

Derek: If I’m not meant to have somebody in my life, I will no doubt continue to seek the Lord with as much zeal as I can muster.

Council: Seek the Lord anyway, but you are meant to have somebody in your life. That’s what you wanted to work through. But it is your focus. No one can do this for you. You can think about this life we have told you about, and you can play what we call “connect the dots”, and realize, okay, in that life you had too many women, but nothing personal or that meant a lot. And then in this life, so far you’ve had nothing.

So now you can see why you have nothing now. This is what you created. You wanted to see what it would be like to just be by yourself. But now you have done that, and now you can focus on, “Okay, I’m letting go of the challenge of that past life, and I want someone special in my life”. And as you focus and meditate on that, your life will begin to change.

Derek: The path has been very difficult and lonely though. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to ask for a timeline, but when will I meet this girl, if ever? When will I marry, if ever?

Council: You can marry. You will meet someone, but the timeline, that is up to you. How much energy do you put into meditating on this? Getting excited about this? Feeling like, “This is what it’s like if I meet someone?” And start imagining what it would be like. You are the one who does the work.

And so, if you do it a lot, you’ll pull someone in quicker. If you just imagine what it would be like every now and then and then get depressed, it will take longer. It is all up to you. The timeline is up to you. Did you want to have someone in your life this time? Yes. And if you do the work, that will happen.

Derek: Is there one out there looking for me the way I am looking for them?

Council: Yes, there is.

Derek: Will a relationship delay my search for God?

Council: Never. You will search together. That’s the beauty of it.

Derek: Thank you. I love you.

Council: And we love you.

Bob: Thank you for your answers to Derek’s questions.

Council: Well this was indeed a wonderful day, and we enjoyed these questions. And to everyone who asks for our help, we are overjoyed when we are asked for help. We want you to know that we are always with you. We always send you healing energy. And just know that no matter what, you are not alone. We are here. Talk to us like we are sitting right next to you. Make us part of your life because what we want is for spirit to come into your reality for you to learn that you are spirit. You are part of us. We are part of you. And as you go through joys, and hardships, and challenges, and rewards, we go with you.


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September 6, 2024 Posted by | Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Feelings, Imagination, Meditation, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , | Leave a comment