What Can I Do About My Dysfunctional Relationship With My Mother?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name Anon Reader.
Anon: Hi, Cynthia, Bob, and The Council. I was wondering if you had any insight into my lifelong tumultuous relationship with my mother? My sibling and I have always felt that she is controlling, self-centered, cruel, and emotionally violent. I can appreciate from a distance that we all do what we feel we have to do or say, and function according to our programming, but I also can’t continue with this dysfunctional relationship in its current form, and fear I should seriously prepare to walk away if that’s best.
Council: Well #1, we would say there is no programming going on. What’s going on is choices and free will, and that’s what you’re here to learn about. Free will that no matter what kind of relationship you have, how does it make you feel? Can you improve it in any way? What choices do you have?
And so, we see the three of you in several lives together as children, and not getting along, and fist-fighting, and tumbling around on the floor, and beating each other up as children, and trying to get each other into trouble.
And so, it has come forward in this lifetime as one of you as the parent, and then the other two as children. But it was your wish to see how you could create a life where one of you is the adult, how they would handle it, how you would respond to them instead of just three children fighting. It was to learn how to not be in competition, how not be in, “Who’s the boss, and who’s going to get their way?”
And it’s just a lesson from past lives that you have brought forward. You want to see how it can be done with one of you as an adult. And then, if for some reason you choose to walk away and not work it out, you may, the three of you, choose to come back as two adults and a child, or three adults. It is just the lesson that is wanted. It was how to get along, and how to get through difficult times, and jealousy, and attention, and abandonment issues all coming together, how you would handle it.
And so, as you think of this, now see how, with this knowledge, you handle this lesson
Anon: I’d appreciate any advice, and thanks so much for all of your work.
Council: It’s quite fun if you could sit down and picture the three of you as children, and what it might have been like in several lifetimes, fighting, and who was controlling, and who was the boss, and who was going to get their way. Imagine what they might look like. Imagine a certain age that you were all at. What does that look like?
And you can bring some funny thoughts into this lesson. And as the feeling about this lesson changes, in your reality, what you live through will change. So to start the change, to understand it, and perhaps change how you all get along now, which is what is wanted, you will do it by just daydreaming about what the heck it could have been like when you were children.
And who knows? Maybe tonight you’ll dream of us. And of course we have to add, you can see us every night, you can talk to us every night, you can dream of us, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to remember. But what we teach you, what you need to know, is within you. And when you need that information, you will remember.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anon Reader and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
And lastly, if you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
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If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
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Bob & Cynthia
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