Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Guidance for a Potential Romantic Relationship

This post is inspired by a follow up question from a reader named Gabriela who asks for guidance about the romantic feelings she has for a woman named Lara who Gabriela mentioned in her last question. She says despite plenty of synchronicities nothing has happened with Lara, and Gabriela was told by someone the reason for this was that she didn’t deserve the pain Lara would bring into her life, which was difficult for Gabriela to believe because Lara seems like such a nice woman.

The Council says Gabriela is already experiencing the pain and sadness of a relationship with Lara because they aren’t together. They ask Gabriela to change the focus of her attention because they see it’s possible to have the relationship she desires, but they say it will never happen as long as Gabriela is focused on the idea that Lara will bring pain into her life.

The Council says if Gabriela changes her belief that Lara will cause her pain, she’ll be able to create the relationship she desires. But The Council also says if Gabriela finds it easier to let go of her desire for a relationship with Lara, they do see another partner for Gabriela.

The Council says Gabriela’s pre-birth plan was to have a relationship with Lara, but because Gabriela believes this relationship will cause pain and sadness, she’s creating this in her life right now by keeping her out of this relationship.

If Gabriela can change the way she sees this relationship with Lara so that it’s a good relationship rather than a painful one, she can have that good experience. The way Gabriela chooses to believe her relationship with Lara will be is the way she’ll experience it. The Council adds Gabriela can also create an additional relationship with another partner that they mention earlier in the session.

Listen to our entire 9-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Gabriela and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

October 27, 2016 - Posted by | Audio Content, Beliefs, Channeling, Choice, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | ,


  1. Thank you, Gabriela. That’s quite a few questions. We’ll ask The Council as many as we can when we have time and post their response in a blog when it’s ready. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 29, 2018

  2. Hi Bob and Cynthia, sure. I will give my best try to restate my question without making it very long.

    So my questions are:

    1 – The Council said that Lara (a past life lover that I wronged badly) and I agreed to have a friendship in this lifetime. But if that’s true, why does she treat me poorly and wants nothing to do with me?
    2 – If souls are such enlightened beings, why has Lara’s soul clearly not forgiven me and is not giving me another chance for a relationship, if her soul knows I need it in order to move on? I am respecting her wishes for distance, but at the same time it is killing my soul from the inside out.
    3 – Why does it seem like even my guides are punishing me for what I have done in that previous life? They have not helped me with my intent to reconcile with her, nor provided me with an alternative for a decent life.
    4 – Why was my path in this lifetime changed and why do I feel it was against my wishes? I feel like I am hostage to my spiritual guides’ plans.
    5 – I have been asking every day for my guides/mentors to allow me to die. Even if there is another lover for me (which I don’t believe, since no one ever expressed interest in me), I don’t think I can genuinely overlook the fact I’d only date this person as a replacement of Lara. But my guides do not listen to me. Why don’t they grant my wish to die?

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Gabriela | May 29, 2018

  3. Hi, Gabriela. Would you mind restating just your questions and leave out the explanatory text? It’ll probably make it easier for us to ask The Council your questions if you just ask the questions. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 28, 2018

  4. Dear Council, I’d like to start by saying that I really appreciate the guidance given previously. It has been one and a half years since the first message, but things have been getting more difficult for me in this situation. Things have not changed for me with Lara. The Council had told me about us wanting to meet in this life as friends, but that has not happened at all, and instead she treats me very poorly and I haven’t been able to shift my interest in her. During this past year there was a lot of discomfort, from her side due to the knowledge that I fancy her, and from me because I am hurting way too much. She is also seeing someone else and seeing them together pretty much destroyed the very little will to live I had. I am dead inside now. I don’t talk to her anymore that much and I leave her alone, but I have this anger festering inside of me that is directed at her, at myself, and at my spiritual guides.

    I hate myself for destroying the most awesome relationship ever in the past life, and for hurting her. I hate her soul for not giving me a second chance and refuse to rebuild what we had. And I hate the guides for not helping out with this reconciliation by not interfering when we were planning our lessons and for not pleading with her for a second chance as well. I think my soul simply doesn’t know how to move on — if there is someone out there who I could have a great relationship with, it definitely would not be like the one I had with her in the previous life (many reasons), and also it wouldn’t be WITH HER. It has become a huge problem in my life, and it is a soul one, not a human one. My human mind knows how absurd it all sounds, but my soul is screaming inside. I also ask my guides to allow me to die, but they don’t seem to listen to me. I am too dead inside to even care about killing myself.

    I wonder why my guides don’t seem to care about me and what I need. I don’t understand why Lara’s soul doesn’t care about my suffering. Do I really deserve to be punished in this way? How can I fix the situation?

    Just complementing my question, I also happen to know that we did have a life plan to be together, in which she’d dump me and I would commit suicide (which is similar to what happened between us before but in the opposite roles). My spiritual guides told me that my life plan was changed, and that’s why I went through a similar situation with someone else a few years prior to meeting Lara, instead of with her, and that’s why our relationship never happened as well. I feel outraged that my life plan was changed without my consent. I would have preferred the original plan, and I feel like I am their hostage, having to stay in a life I don’t even want in the first place.

    My guides also mentioned about me finding true love, but considering all I know (I mean, I can’t really delete my memories) I don’t think I can love anyone particularly knowing this is never what I wanted in the first place, and that this person would just be replacing someone else who didn’t want me.

    Could you please shed light on why the spirit guides decided my life for me regardless of my desires?


    Comment by Gabriela | May 27, 2018

  5. Hi, Gabriela. Interesting questions. We’ll ask The Council when we have time and post their response. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 15, 2017

  6. Hello Cynthia and Bob! I was going through the Council’s answers for me again, and I still learn a lot from it, thanks!! However I do have more questions regarding this thing with Lara. Things had improved between us as friends after this question was asked, but from the moment I tried to change it to a more romantic focus things derailed badly. I mean it, badly.

    I belong to a religious group who believes in healing through spiritual guides (I think it’s a similar fashion to the Council) and they have always said to me that Lara and I getting together is a big no-no. They have always insisted that she’s not meant to be mine. I have asked “why” before and they never really explained it. The problem is that she’s the only woman I feel any interest and I am not sure I can ever want someone else. I have tried, but whenever I see her all my feelings come back, even though she treats me badly now. I know there’s a past life connection (or multiple), and that it wasn’t good for her. I was wondering if the Council could please shed some light on our past lives and why it seems that we can’t get together no matter what.

    On another note, I was also I was wondering about dark magic rituals and what the Council has to say about it. I know those exist and that some people believe in them, but since they go against the free will I tend to be skeptical about it. But I also know people do it and see results, so how’s that even possible.

    And I am sorry for one more last question, since someone asked why people are born transgender, I was wondering why people are born asexual (like me). It can be a life-long loneliness sentence for a lot of folks. Thank you very much again!


    Comment by Gabriela | May 15, 2017

  7. Good luck whatever you decide to do, Gabriela. We think meditating on relationships is a good idea. We believe The Council says you can change your belief about the possible breakup pain, if you desire to experience something else. Love, Bob & Cynthia.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | November 13, 2016

  8. Hi! Sorry I am late, but wanted to thank you again for the guidance! I am unsure yet of the deepest meaning of this message, but I can say that I definitely have some beliefs about relationships that I need to meditate on. One of the reasons I believe Lara would inflict pain is because someone told me that it’s not a life-long relationship, and that’s exactly what I want with her. Maybe I could learn a lot from it, but I’m not sure I can ever change that belief about the possible breakup pain… maybe it’s time to create new space for someone else. Thanks again!

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Gabriela | November 13, 2016

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