How Do I Deal with Feelings of Ill Will Towards My Mother?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Ph, who wants to ask about their relationship with their mother. They say, I don’t like her and I guess I fear her because she was abusive and manipulative during my childhood and also later. The Council says when you were in spirit you both agreed on how she would treat you.
Ph says, I feel angry for having to interact with her and I’d prefer to never see her again. At the same time I feel guilty about this and I feel like I should be able to forgive her and have a normal relationship with her. The Council says there’s no purpose in feeling guilty. Your mother’s behavior is something that was planned in spirit and you both played your parts.
Ask yourself, what has this experience done to your thoughts and your feelings? If you cut off communication with your mother and if you choose to never see her again, will you feel that there’s no closure and no understanding? The part we’d like you to understand is that you planned this in spirit because it was an experience you wanted to go through to see how you’d handle this situation. Would you be able to turn your mother’s behavior around and have understanding why she behaved this way towards you? What did you learn from this? Did it make you fearful? Did it make you know your mother was someone you didn’t want to be like?
Going forward can understand forgiveness isn’t really necessary because no one forced this situation upon the both of you. You both agreed to have this experience. Can you look at your mother without hate and not wanting to be together with her again, and realize you are a powerful spirit? You can be with your mother and you can be in control of how you act with each other. You have the power if you allow this relationship into your life, but you decide to live it differently.
It’s important for you to constantly know you are a powerful spirit. You can get control of what direction this relationship goes in. And if you feel this relationship is something you don’t wish to go further within this lifetime, you can cut it off. We’re sure the two of you will come together again in another life to finish this lesson.
Ph says, I feel sad, angry, and confused because I want to care for myself and not deal with my mother. At the same time I feel I need to have compassion. The Council says as hard as this is to believe, you both agreed to experience this difficulty. You planned this in spirit step by step because this was something you wanted to experience.
Your mother came into your life to help you with what you wanted to learn and grow from. You went through the experience of growing up with her. That part is finished. Now ask yourself what you’ve learned. Do you want to put an end to it now, or do you bring love into it instead of blaming her for the way you were treated? How brave of you to go through this experience with her and have her teach you to hate her until you learn this is what you both wanted.
You both wanted to find compassion. If you understand who you are as a spiritual being and who your mother truly is, and if you choose to go the route of showing compassion, you will see a change in your relationship.
Ph wraps it up by asking what’s there for me to learn and do. The Council repeats, compassion and love, but first understand who you are. First understand you both agreed to experience the relationship the way you did. Now that this part is finished, where do you go with this? How do you want to take this relationship the rest of the way? That’s what you need to focus on.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Ph and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Unfortunately the quality of this recording in this post and the next two posts isn’t up to our usual standards. We’ll do our best to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
If you’d like to ask The Council your own question you can do this by typing it in a Comment box that appears at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
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If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
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Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 
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