Getting Over Attracting an Abusive Relationship
This post answers questions from a reader named, Kristina, who recently broke up with her abusive ex-partner of two years, but she still maintains contact with him because she felt he was the love of her life.
The Council says it’s wonderful to leave an abusive relationship because it hurts you physically and/or emotionally. And The Council asks why you would keep in contact with this abusive person. You say it’s because you feel there was a great love there, but The Council emphasized that love is not abusive.
At this point The Council feels having something to do with this person is an excuse because you think there’s love there. You’re in a place where the relationship is familiar and you believe it will change. And yet the part of your spirit that doesn’t need to experience abusiveness is telling you it’s time to end this relationship.
What have you learned from being abused? There isn’t any love in abuse. Love is supportive. Love is compassionate. Love is understanding. The choice is yours, but why would you want to connect with someone abusive? If you think about it, the part of you that wants to experience something better has already left this relationship.
Kristina says this man walked away leaving her heartbroken and her pain and anxiety is through the roof. The Council says anxiety will come from being abused. This relationship took away your power. You were smart to get out.
Kristina says she can’t understand how she attracted this abusive man into her life when she was never in an abusive relationship before. The Council says this abuse is a lesson you wanted in spirit to experience; to feel it, to grow from it, and know this isn’t the kind of energy you’re here to bring in.
When you put a stop to this abuse and you give yourself time to recover, you can think of the kind of relationship you want. With these thoughts you can bring a loving relationship into this reality. And as more and more people bring love into this reality it affects everyone on the planet. This is your purpose. There is no reason to stay with the hurt of this abuse. Think about what you’ve learned from this relationship and what you’ll create? And The Council says stay with positive thoughts.
Kristina asks how she can get over the deep pain she’s experiencing. And The Council says by knowing this abusive relationship was pre-planned in spirit between your soul and the soul of your abuser. On a soul level this man is wonderful. He’s come into this reality and played “the bad guy” so you can learn from this experience. Now you can let go of this abuse. Change your vibration with your thoughts and find the power within you. Abuse takes away your dignity and your good thoughts about yourself. Many who are abused blame themselves instead of the abuser.
Read past life books by Robert Schwartz and you’ll learn about abuse and why you asked for it in your life. Know that you broke off this abusive vibration and are no longer in it. You don’t need an excuse to remain in this vibration. Go with positive thoughts. Thank the spirit of this abusive man for playing his part. Think about what happened and how you can help others who experience abuse who come into your life. Work on the issue of deserving better. Meditate and pray on this.
Love this soul that helped you learn about abuse and thank him for what went on. Understand this was an experience and it wasn’t supposed to permanently take love away from your life. Your wanted to go through this to find the strength to look at the abuse, learn from it, and then become the strong soul that you are. Find the love within you. The abuse was only to take you to a place where you find your power. You find your knowledge that you have choices and you can create what you want with these choices.
Listen to the audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kristina and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel.
If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.
Tell others about this post:
2 Comments »
Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question
Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
Ask The Council a Question
If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
Finding Your Way Around the Blog
Home Page
The left-hand column on the Home page contain a long chronological series of posts with the most recent on top. Each post begins with a title. Clicking on a post title will take you to a blog page dedicated to that particular post. Following each post is a Like button where you can indicate to us and other readers if you like the post.
The footer section of each post identifies the date the post was published, the Categories the post has been assigned to, the keyword/keyphrase Tags assigned to the post, and a Comment link. If readers comments on a post, the Comments link will indicate the number of comments. If a post has no comments yet, the Comment link text appears as “Leave a Comment”.
Clicking on the Comments link takes you to a Comment text box on a post page dedicated to that post. Here you can type a comment in the text box and click the Post Comment button to have your comment displayed just below the text box. If you are replying to someone else’s comment, your comment will appear indented underneath the comment you are replying to.
At the bottom of the left column on the Home page is a ‘Previous Entries’ link that will take you to a page with a list of earlier posts.
Blog Features
The right-hand column of most blog pages contains this Welcome message. Below the Welcome message in the right-hand column are some useful features:
Email Subscription: Use this to subscribe to blog posts. You will receive an email notification with a link back to the blog each time a new post is published.
Search: Type a keyword or phrase and click the Search button to get a list of posts in the left column that contain the keyword or phrase.
Archives: The Archives list indicates the number of posts for each month listed. Clicking on the link for a month will display in the left column of the page a list of the posts published that month.
Categories: This is a list of keywords used to categorize posts. Posts can be included in more than one category, if applicable. Clicking on a category link will display in the left column a list of posts assigned to the category you selected.
Navigation Bar
The Navigation Bar at the top of each page contains a link to the blog Home page and links to the following additional pages:
Welcome: A link that displays this Welcome message in the left column (and the right column). At the bottom of the Welcome message is a Comment box where you can post a general comment about the blog or ask The Council a question.
Questions & Answers: Use this link to display a list of introductions to our longer posts, most of which are responses to reader questions. This is an easy way to check out these more in-depth posts. They are listed in chronological order with the most recent post on top. Clicking on the post title will take you to the page where you can read the complete post.
Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 
Very interesting question, Jane. We look forward to doing a session with The Council on it and publishing a post as soon as it’s ready.
LikeLike
Dear Cynthia, Bob, and The Council,
Thank you for sharing this information with us.
I have a question about pre-planned relationships versus creating our own reality. Can you please help me understand how it’s possible to create our own reality and have a pre-planned relationship at the same time, a relationship that we have not attracted with our thoughts? Doesn’t this counteract the idea that we create our own reality?
I was in an abusive relationship which ended more than seven years ago, but I still don’t feel like I have moved on with my life. I don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time getting past it. I can understand and forgive the abuse, and I can understand and forgive myself for taking it at the time, but I’m having a very hard time accepting the way I acted in that relationship. It was so out of character for me and I feel like I wasn’t myself at all when I was with that person.
It felt almost as if I was being mind controlled, for lack of a better word. When I was with that person, I didn’t feel that I was acting like myself at all. I want to forgive myself for staying in that relationship for as long as I did and move on with my life, but I also want to understand why I was compelled to stay in it when I knew that this wasn’t the right person for me. I never confused abuse with love, but for some reason I couldn’t make myself get out of this abusive relationship until the other person let me go.
I’m having a really hard time understanding what happened there and why I’ve been having such a hard moving on with my life.
I guess my question is, if this relationship was pre-planned, then what creative power did I have over my life at that point? Could I have thought more positive thoughts and not have attracted this relationship? Or would I have been forced into it no matter what thoughts I was thinking?
I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that we create our own reality, yet at the same time most of our life is already pre-planned (or at least the most important parts are, like our relationships).
I’ve wanted a loving relationship for as long as I can remember, but I’ve never experienced anything even close to it in real life. I want to understand if being on my own is something I have created (and keep creating) with my thoughts or if I was meant to be on my own until now and there’s nothing I could have done to change it?
I do feel like things are shifting for me. And I don’t think that I would have this dream if it wasn’t possible for me to create the relationship I want. I would like to ask The Council if I’m on the right track to create the kind of relationship I want or if there’s something else I need to work on? I do feel that I still have some unresolved feelings from my past relationship that are holding me back and I would appreciate any advice you can give me on how to leave it behind me and move on with my life.
I’m sorry for the long post. I hope this wasn’t too confusing. I would appreciate any advice you can give me.
Thank you for your help!
LikeLike