Getting Pregnant At 40 After A Stillbirth
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Janette, who says, You answered a question from me years ago regarding my daughter’s stillbirth and I’m writing again with questions that have recently been eating away at my thoughts.
Last year, leading up to my turning 40 years old, I was overcome with the desire to have a baby. Our daughter was stillborn in 2014. Our son, who’s now 6 years old, was born in 2015. Ever since our son was a toddler the name, Haven, started appearing to me everywhere. I came across this name so regularly that it was overwhelming and I knew I couldn’t deny the universe was trying to tell me something.
Between turning 40 and the occurrence of this name I was convinced was speaking to me, we tried to get pregnant and I immediately did. Being that Haven means “a safe place,” I convinced myself that it was either our stillborn daughter reminding us she’s in a safe place in heaven, or it could be another spirit baby trying to communicate that they want to come to us.
The Council says: No, it was you who set up the situation with the name, Haven. It’s your higher self trying to communicate with you to believe it’s safe to go through a pregnancy again and give birth. Your higher self created a word that means something to the human part of you. It was very clever of you to create a word that means “safe”.
Janette says, I absolutely know this means something. The Council says it means you’re supposed to believe. Believe in safety. Believe this is a whole new opportunity. Believe this pregnancy is something you wanted. And believe you created this. You’re giving yourself another chance to expand your family. It’s all you creating this.
Janette says, So this little boy I’m pregnant with will be named, Haven. What’s even more miraculous than me getting pregnant so fast at 40 is that this baby’s due date is March 25, which was the same as my stillborn daughter’s. The Council asks: Can you see how wonderfully you’re creating your current pregnancy? It’s like you’re having a do-over. You’re having a new birth that you’ll create in whatever way you want, and we see here you’re creating it wonderfully and safely so that you’ll have this child.
Janette says, I lost my stillborn baby when I was 33½ weeks pregnant on February 7, 2014. When that day approaches this upcoming week I’ll be exactly 33½ weeks pregnant with Haven. The Council asks: What will you do leading up to that? What will you do when that day comes? It’s important not to be afraid something can happen. Don’t focus on the loss that can happen. It’s wise to think: Here’s this date again and it’s a wonderful day. I have a chance to be happy and create what I want.
Janette asks: What does this all mean? It can’t be a coincidence. I’d love The Council’s thoughts on this. The Council says it’s not a coincidence. You’ve planned this beautifully.
Janette says: Because of the loss of my stillborn daughter, with my 6-year-old son and now the little boy I’m pregnant with they’ve done fetal monitoring on me. I go in twice a week to have the baby’s heartbeat checked thoroughly, which is reassuring. But this is very triggering for me. I sit there and ask myself: What if they did fetal monitoring with my stillborn daughter? Would she be here today? The Council says they weren’t supposed to do it because you were supposed to have that loss so you can see how you can recreate your life. It wasn’t planned for your daughter to survive that pregnancy.
Janette says: They would have noticed my daughter didn’t move a lot if I just would have been monitored. The Council asks if Janette sees how she’s created all of this back then so that, at this point in your life you’re going through this all over again but in a better place? You have a chance to create what you want. That monitoring wasn’t supposed to happen. It would have changed your plan. As the creator, you could have had the monitoring and created your situation differently, but it happened the way it did to show you that you are the creator, and you wanted this stillbirth in your life. You’ve given yourself another chance now. It’s a wonderful thing you’ve done. That monitoring wasn’t supposed to happen, and it wasn’t supposed to change what you went through.
Janette says: It haunts me almost eight years later, that I could have done something to change the outcome. The Council says instead of beating yourself up or blaming yourself for not changing the outcome, you created it and went through it exactly the way you wanted it to happen to get you to the current point in your life.
Janette says: How didn’t I know my baby wasn’t moving? The Council says you didn’t know and it was fine, and she is fine. As a spirit your daughter agreed to go through the stillbirth with you. You’re all exactly on the right track.
Janette says: I was 33½ weeks along with her pregnancy, and if they could have caught something with extra monitoring, I feel like she could be here today. At 33½ weeks she could have survived, even if they had to have me deliver her at that point. I just make myself sick thinking about the what-ifs. The Council says you’re at a point in your life where, instead of beating yourself up and asking what if this and what if that, you should be in a place of gratitude and so happy you have the chance to have this new baby, bring it full term, and have your child. This is where your focus belongs.
Beating yourself up will do no good. It won’t make you happy. It won’t give you relief. It won’t make you wonder: Suppose this and suppose that. You’re supposed to let go of this stillbirth. You’re supposed to know: Yes, I went through this, but how wonderful it is that I have a chance now to do this differently. That’s what I need to think about every day. How wonderful, I’ve given myself a gift.
Janette says: I’m still struggling to reach peace and I’d love to hear from all of you. The Council advises you to be proud of yourself and what you’ve created, and recreated, and how wonderfully this is working out for you. Stay in the vibration of joy.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Janette and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
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Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
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1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
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Bob & Cynthia
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