Can You Help Me With How I View Sexism Around Me
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader.
Anonymous: I struggle with what I suppose I view as sexism in my environment, and in friends and family who are dear to me. I’d like guidance on how to mitigate this challenge with grace or remain undisturbed. I don’t know if I’m too sensitive, or if others are insensitive.
Council: Does it matter if others are insensitive? If you feel you are sensitive, that’s where you are right now, and that’s what you work with.
Anonymous: I don’t know how to hear things that upset me so much and remain at peace. I feel disturbed when I hear men speak about women dismissively, or congratulating each other for sleeping with as many women as possible, or getting laid, or exploiting a sexual encounter with demeaning accounts of their experience with a woman.
Council: Can you bring yourself to a place where you allow this to be? You want to change the way people think, their ideas, and how they act. You can’t do that. The only thing you can do is work on yourself. How you handle it. And not everyone will feel the same as you.
So others are allowed to think and say what they want. That doesn’t mean you have to stay there and say nothing. You are allowed to say what you need to. But also remember, many times that will cause arguments. And so one of the things we’re all here to learn is to allow others to be who they are. They are on their path. They are dealing with what they need to learn, or what ideas are in their head, and whether they want to complete this life the way it is, or they want to learn how to change.
It’s very important that you allow others to be who they are. And when they say things that upset you, you can acknowledge that it upsets you and then remind yourself that’s not your path to change anybody. Your path is to allow them to be who they are, walk away, go into another room, and keep asking yourself, “Why does this upset me?”
It comes from other lifetimes where women weren’t treated right. There was a lifetime as a slave in the South, and again you saw a lot of horrendous things happening to women. So when you hear people talking like that it pushes buttons. It’s a trigger of something you remember unconsciously. And then you have to get to a place where you say, “Okay, I think I understand where this is coming from. I don’t like what I’m hearing, but I am a spirit, these people are spirits, and we’re all on our own path.” And allow them to go their way.
Anonymous: I feel that some men’s behavior is shallow, harmful, and self-serving. I contemplate whether to speak up or try to change the part of myself that’s offended.
Council: You don’t have to change the part of yourself. You have to acknowledge you feel offended and then make the decision. Do I say something? Will it bring this subject to a close? Will it cause an argument? And then decide what to do. And there’s always the allowing. Allow them to be who they are, but you don’t have to be around it.
Anonymous: How is it that I’ve come to be so hurt by these things? I don’t think women should regard men this way either. I don’t understand the nature of our attitudes towards sex on this planet, and what looks to me like ignoring that the other sex is a whole person rather than a useful subject to masturbate with.
Council: But remember here that everything you’re experiencing you have brought in. So you’ve brought these kinds of people in for you to learn how to turn it around where you are more comfortable now.
Anonymous: I’d like to see more care and love employed in the way we relate to one another.
Council: That would be wonderful, and we’re all here working on that.
Anonymous: Some input to help me understand myself and others would be so appreciated here. Thank you so much.
Council: It’s all about you. Remember that. How do you make yourself feel better? How do you allow others to be who they are? And when you can do that, your feelings around this won’t disturb you as much as they do now.
And so we wish you all a great journey, and to find love on your journey everywhere you can. Show it every day you can. Feel it for yourselves every single day and you’ll begin to change your life.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time. For the time being you don’t have to attach your name to the comment, but there have been a lot of anonymous comments lately and it can be confusing for us to keep track of a lot of anonymous comments. It would help us if you made up a name rather than using no name.
If you prefer to keep your comment private, you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.
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Bob & Cynthia
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As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
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Ask The Council 
Hi, Anonymous. We’ll be happy to ask The Council your follow-up questions about allowing negative behavior when we have time, and we’ll post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Thanks for your follow-up questions. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia
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This reality is very dualistic. Some of us are beginning to appreciate more oneness. I think it’s good for this listener to have a dog in the fight when it comes to unkind words and sexist language. It shows their sensitivity and desire to see more oneness and kindness. ❤️ The work is to not let it consume you.
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I do have a follow up question for The Council regarding this topic. You mentioned to “allow” people to live their own path. I have a hard time “allowing” this behavior. Why must we allow negative behavior? Sexism is degrading and demeaning. I personally don’t feel like women should tolerate that behavior, or “allow” it when it comes to themselves or when they see other people being victimized. Should we not help to raise people’s thoughts and vibrations? Allowing negative behavior helps perpetuate it. A father who is a womanizer can easily pass that behavior and thought process down to their sons. When we have the opportunity to teach better options, should we not take it? I simply cannot turn my head and “allow” this negative low vibration way of thinking. Sure, we can’t make someone think a certain way, but we can educate.
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We agree that this is a great topic, Anonymous. Thanks for your appreciation for The Council’s stand on allowing. If you’ve listened to many other posts you probably understand allowing is a big issue for The Council.
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Thank you for your comment, Anonymous. We hope we answered all your questions, as well. We’re glad you asked this question also, Anonymous.
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This is a great topic. I’ve always said that I was a human first, female second. Like a designation rather than defining myself as female solely. It has surprised me when that is regarded as strange or untrue as often as it has been in the past. It seems to obvious to me. Human Soul first. But things are changing and it that seems to be understood by more people now, both genders.
I find that I’m triggered deeply with stories of abuse and sexualization of both women and men, girls and boys. Highly likely I too have another lifetime (and likely quite a few) as a victim.
I appreciate the Council saying to allow those objectifiers to follow their own path. I do find that I feel better walking away from it and not subjecting myself to talk, movies, etc that perpetuate these atrocities to either gender. Thank you Anonymous.
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Great question, anonymous! I am struggling with the same issues currently. I’m tired of the objectification of women. I’m tired of women only being looked at as sexual objects. We are HUMAN BEINGS, not a toy put here for the sexual gratification of men. I literally typed a similar question to the counsel last week but didn’t publish it, so I’m glad you did!
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