Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

How to Create Harmony and Balance in a New Relationship

A Question from Sky

This post is a response to Sky’s question for The Council about how to find “the highest and most loving way to create harmony and balance in my new relationship.” Sky’s full question can be found here.

After reading Sky’s question to The Council, they expressed a desire to address it sentence by sentence to make sure they address each issue.

You Have Access to Higher Wisdom

The Council enjoyed Sky’s reference to them as “Beloved Council.” And they love that Sky is thankful for their higher wisdom, but they remind Sky and the rest of us that humans are spirit in a physical body and we have the potential to access the same wisdom, but we tend to forget we’re spiritual beings with this ability. The Council says it’s their desire to remind us of the wisdom we have within us, and they do this by “knocking us on the head a little bit, and opening the door of our heart a little bit” to help us access this wisdom within ourselves.

Challenges, Arguments, and Fears Can Help Perfect Your Relationship

In response to Sky’s comment that the relationship is “revealing more of myself, and reflecting back how much more I need to trust and love myself,” The Council suggests that this is perfect. They go on to point out that “many people think the perfect relationship is when there are no arguments and no challenges and there is always agreement.”

The Council says they see challenges, arguments, abandonment fears, and other fears that arise in relationships, as part of an agreement at a soul level between participants in a relationship. This is an agreement to help each other acknowledge within themselves the presence of unwanted emotions, so that each partner has opportunities to consciously choose better feeling emotions, and experience the joyous expansion these better feeling choices bring.

In response to Sky’s statement that she is “seeking the highest and most loving way to create harmony and balance in my new relationship,” The Council reminds Sky and the rest of us that since each of us is truly a spiritual being having a physical experience, from this point of view “your relationship is perfect, no matter what happens in the human experience.”

Your Desire for Perfection Immediately Creates it in a Vibrational Reality

The Council adds that a desire to create perfection or love or harmony and balance immediately becomes a vibrational reality that individuals and partners in a relationship can choose by giving their attention to it rather than remaining focused on challenges, arguments or fears that inspired the desire for a better feeling experience in the first place.

“And so being in the human body you say: with whatever we face together or whatever we bring up in each other, let us bring that loving, that harmony, that balance into that situation. But as a couple you truly already have it.”

Note: The following posts give a more in-depth description of what The Council says about this idea our desires become instant vibrational creations that we can manifest in our physical lives:

What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire?

Our First Audio Post – A Complete Recorded Council Session on Manifesting What You Desire

A Helpful Meditation

In response to Sky’s question about “daily practices or meditations for us to do, or special words and affirmations we can invoke together that will help deepen our bond and create more trust and connection,” The Council says there are lots of helpful meditations, but they love the Crown/Heart Meditation they came up with for another reader in one of our earliest posts: Meditation for Spiritual and Emotional Inspiration. (Note: If there is enough interest from readers in this meditation, we may post a downloadable audio recording that can be listened to as a guided meditation.)

A Helpful Affirmation

In response to Sky’s question about special words and affirmations, The Council suggests that toward the end of each day Sky and Sky’s partner sit across from each other holding hands and tell each other one or more things they are aware of appreciating about the other from their experience that day. These will be affirmations of their appreciation for each other. The Council emphasizes that a single appreciation is all that’s needed, but more is also okay.

Acknowledge Your Uncomfortable Feelings

The Council likes that Sky recognizes the partner isn’t responsible for Sky’s recent troubling emotions. The Council explains that increased awareness of good feeling emotions like love, joy, beauty, harmony, and balance are often accompanied by an increased awareness of unresolved unpleasant emotions like jealousy, fear of being alone, abandonment, and rejection, any of which may have been experienced earlier in life, or in what is sometimes thought of as “past” lives. The Council adds that our awareness of an uncomfortable emotion is an indication of our willingness to heal the discomfort and let it go.

The Council encourages Sky and the rest of us to acknowledge our uncomfortable emotions, and the meditation they recommend can help us experience these emotions in less threatening, more productive ways. The more connected we feel to who we are as spiritual beings, the easier it becomes to experience uncomfortable and even painful emotions as an inspiration toward better feeling emotions.

Try Playing with Uncomfortable Feelings

The Council also says that sometimes by sort of playing little games in our head regarding uncomfortable emotions, we can experience the discomfort dissipate and feel some much-desired relief, even if slight. The Council describes this as the beginning of letting go.

Sometimes analyzing an uncomfortable emotion from different points of view can give you enough distance and relief to begin feeling more the way you desire. Asking questions like the following can sometimes be useful: What is going on that is bringing up this emotion? Why might I be feeling the emotion? Where might it be coming from? What was I thinking that might have brought it up? Does the emotion remind me of something that happened at another time in my life? This process often leads to the feeling of a light bulb turning on and shedding light on your situation so you can see more clearly that you don’t need to keep feeling the uncomfortable emotion to the same degree, if at all.

Questions like these can be helpful as long as you don’t dwell on the uncomfortable emotion for an extended period. The idea is to find better feeling ways of focusing your attention rather than keeping your attention focused on what is uncomfortable for you.

In Summary

Regarding Sky’s desire to “spend my life building a health home and family with the one I love, in total freedom, balance, and real soul growth,” The Council re-emphasizes their belief the Heart and Crown Meditation will help Sky and Sky’s partner do this.

“It is very powerful. And if you do it as often as you can, you will bring all that you want into your relationship. And not only into the relationship, but into oneself – how you feel and what you are aware of and what you attract. And so we do recommend this.

“And we do see much love. We do feel the love and the harmony Sky is looking for. Look within, it’s already there. And you have brought it with you.

“And so, as you take time to recognize you are both souls, you are both spirits that have come together at this time to experience this, and grow and expand and bring that harmony and that joy and that love into your relationship and into yourselves. You are truly on the path of what spirits are – in their own ways – doing.”

Let Us Know What You Think

As always, we hope you’ve benefited from the information in this post and we’d love to know what you think of this material. Look for a Comment box or a Comment link below this post and feel free to let us know if you have questions about ideas mentioned in this post, ideas in other posts, or topics we haven’t written about yet. We look forward to hearing from you.

April 2, 2012 - Posted by | Emotions, Feelings, Meditation, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Hi K,
    Thank you for your questions. This is to let you know we’ve already done a session with The Council to answer your questions, but it may take a while to publish a post with the answers. We’re working on two guided meditations that The Council would like us to make available to readers. Meditation is actually the answer The Council gave to your question about how people like yourself can communicate with spirits. There’s also quite a bit of information in the session on your questions about the support that spirits offer to all of us in physical reality. We found this information very comforting and we imaging you and other readers will also find it helpful. We’ll publish the post as soon as we can.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | July 17, 2012

  2. Hi there. I recently had a reading and was told that there were 3 “dead people” standing behind me. My question is: Are these spirits always people that were in your life? Could they also be relatives or individuals you never knew? What causes them to come out? Is it a show of support? Is there anyway for individuals such as myself to communicate with these spirits? Can they (if asked) produce a sign of some sort that they are there? Etc. You get the idea ;-).

    Thanks, and light and love. -K


    Comment by Anonymous | July 13, 2012

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