Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Should I Have Sex with My Best Friend?

This post is inspired by questions from a woman named, Lavender, who asks The Council if she can have a casual sexual relationship with her best friend, or if The Council sees this becoming an issue later in their relationship. Lavender also asks if The Council sees a past life connection with her best friend.

The Council says sexual intimacy is definitely not a new feeling for her and her best friend. If they go ahead and have sex, their feelings for each other will change and The Council sees the situation eventually becoming awkward, but it would be okay in the beginning. They say if Lavender is interested in keeping this relationship on a friendship only basis, then having sex is not the direction to go.

The Council says if Lavender can be at ease with a sexual relationship it will be easier to create what she wants, which The Council seems to suggest would be a deeper more permanent relationship if that’s what Lavender ends up desiring. And they say if Lavender is worried sex will negatively change the relationship or ruin the friendship, it will be more difficult to create a loving atmosphere from this place of fear.

Even though Lavender would like a definite answer The Council says there are no definites because she is creating as she goes. They see it will be very lovely for a while, but Lavender has the ability to change the situation according to how she feels. Lavender’s current path is headed in a nice direction and whether it stays that way depends on what she creates.

The Council says they don’t feel, from what Lavender is currently thinking about creating with her best friend, that casual sex is meant to be a permanent change for the two of them. The Council appears to be suggesting the relationship could develop into so much more, even though this doesn’t appear to be what Lavender is asking The Council at this time.

The Council says if they can have a sexual relationship and be open and happy and have a positive feeling, that is what they’ll create. Go in with a vibration of love. Go in with a happy, hopeful feeling with the thought you’ll enjoy this and see what you can create.

The Council says adding sex to the friendship can become an issue later in the relationship if one or both become clingy, possessive, or picky, for example. If one wants to go in one direction and the other doesn’t it will create different experiences. But The Council adds it would be wonderful if Lavender can just go in and create a joyful situation.

The Council says Lavender and her best friend have been connected in other lifetimes and when they come together as friends in this lifetime, The Council believes there will be a lot of comfort because there’s a recognition and they know how to be around each other. But they are in a new life and the two of them will create it according to what they believe.

Lavender appears to be asking about a light and fun sexual relationship with her best friend. The Council appears to be saying this will be okay for a while, but the feelings will eventually change. The Council seems to suggest being open to a deeper and longer lasting relationship and seeing what develops.

Listen to the entire 7-minute recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Lavender and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

July 26, 2017 - Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Feelings, Love, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers, Relationships, You Create Your Reality | , ,


  1. Hi, Very Confused. Thank you for your relationship questions. We’ll ask The Council and post their response as soon as it’s ready. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | July 31, 2017

  2. Dearest Council, Cynthia, and Bob,

    I deeply appreciate the beautiful thing that has been created here. I’m completely honoured to be able to take in all of the love and wisdom, as well as to be able to ask my own questions. Thank you.

    I fully believe that I get exactly what I ask for. It seems as though I’m at a point to be able to do so fairly quickly, and for that I’m grateful.

    At the moment, I’m in a romantic relationship that for all intents and purposes is what I asked for. I spent months recognizing the beautiful parts of other relationships so that I could use that feeling of love to create my own. Most of the things I knew I wanted are present, save for a few that I’m finding to be crucial.

    Is this a test for my self-love? I’ve gone from abuse as a child, to abuse as an adult in intimate relationships, to discovering a tiny seed of self love, to nurturing it enough to be able to create a good partner. But I’m finding now that my partner isn’t good enough, and I suspect it’s a lesson that my self love isn’t quite where *I* intend it to be, and this is another lesson to propel me closer to it.

    If that’s the case, why the step in between? Why not find myself in the relationship I intended?

    Or is there some other purpose in it I’ve planned or he’s planned and I can’t see it yet? Is this an opportunity where prolonged, deep, nurturing love can be found or am I to accept him as he is in this moment and choose self love? I tend to look at everything that happens day by day with an objective viewpoint to analyze its meaning, and I’m wondering if this is actually working against me.

    Where am I headed with my life? What’s my purpose?

    Yours truly,

    Very Confused


    Comment by Very Confused | July 31, 2017

  3. Thank you so much. The council’s words have really hit home on a lot of levels and really helped in clarifying my true position and the inner turmoil I’ve been going through. As I’ve taken my time analyzing the possibilities, I was straying to conclude that I do feel happy in my current path, so why try and change a good thing. However, I couldn’t decide if it was fear holding me back or my inner voice guiding me. Thank you again for taking the time to help. My heart is singing from your wise words and kindness.


    Comment by Lavender | July 27, 2017

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