Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

A Past Life Reason for My Mother’s Poor Treatment of Me?

This post answers questions from a reader who goes by the name, ImportantOrNotBlog, who wants to know if there’s a past life reason for her mother’s poor treatment of her.

She says her mother kept her hair very short and wouldn’t allow her to wear dresses. When people called her a little boy her mother would laugh and say she didn’t have time to deal with long hair. She was bullied at school and her parents just expected her to deal with it. Any negative reaction she had was perceived as wrong by her parents and she felt bullied by them. Both of them made fun of every picture of her throughout her life. She felt she had to participate in the activities her parents wanted to gain their approval, but never enjoyed what she was doing.

The Council asks ImportantOrNotBlog to look at the way she feels now, because this is what she planned to learn how to deal with in this lifetime. They ask how it feels to be put down, to be made fun of her looks, and whatever you do isn’t acceptable or enough. How does she imagine it feels to be looked down upon?

The Council says in another lifetime, they believe in France, ImportantOrNotBlog was born to nobility, was very beautiful, and you felt no one around you was up to your standards. You had a way of having the people around you feel less than what they were and not accepted. The people around you thought you were beautiful and smart, and tried to be there for you in a caring way, and yet you only saw these people as annoying and boring.

The Council asks ImportantOrNotBlog to look at her current life. How are her parents treating her? Do they make you feel less than? Do they make you feel unaccepted and not smart? Do they make fun of you?

You had asked in your current lifetime to experience the other side of your previous lifetime in France. What have you learned from this and how do you treat other people as you move forward?

The Council says her parents in her current lifetime have agreed in spirit to treat her the way she describes. They add she’s experiencing the flip side of the coin of her lifetime in France and it’s just an experience she wanted to have. The Council says as she understands this and treats people around her better, including her parents who didn’t treat her properly, this poor treatment will fall away. She will have more understanding and she’ll get along with her parents and the people around her.

Imagine what you created in the lifetime in France and what it felt like, and being the wonderful spirit that you are you wanted to heal this. The Council advises you to be the person who can’t understand why all of this went on, but still doesn’t treat people the way she did in her other lifetime, and comes from a good place within her heart as she moves forward.

ImportantOrNotBlog says she wants to start over and The Council advises her to take the knowledge she received in this post and work with it and she’ll see her life start over.

The Council closes by saying ImportantOrNotBlog can know that what she’s experienced in her current life isn’t from a lack of beauty or talent or not being accepted. She is playing her life out the way she planned in spirit so she could understand it better. The suffering you are experiencing in this lifetime isn’t your fault and it’s not because you’re a bad person.

You bravely came into your current lifetime to see what the lifetime in France was all about. Can you get to a point where you can see your parents and not blame them and feel anger, hate, or confusion towards them, but thank them for agreeing to play this role with you so you can feel better about yourself. Once you learn how to do this, feelings will change because you have seen what’s going on in a different way. You have seen it from the point of view of your higher self and when you accept yourself as the wonderful being you are, the rest will fall away.

Listen to our entire 9-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance for ImportantOrNotBlog and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.

April 14, 2018 - Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Healing, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Reincarnation, Spirit | , , , , ,


  1. Hi, P.E. We’ll ask The Council about your mother’s role in your life when we have time and we’ll post a recording of their reply on our blog when it’s ready. Thanks for your question. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 4, 2018

  2. Dear Cynthia, Bob and the Council

    I was wondering if I could also ask a question about my own distressing relationship with my mother. I have been so scared to ask because she triggers so much anxiety in me which I don’t understand. Would you be able to help me figure our her role in my life?

    I don’t know why but I am very afraid of my mother. She is very manipulative and makes me feel used. Most of my life I used to think she was a victim of her circumstances and I always put her first. But after my dad passed away I learnt a few hard truths about some terrible things she had done in the past and it made me more and more aware of how hurtful she can be. Now I am often in fear of being used, especially for money and favors because it often leaves me feeling worthless.

    She is also in chronic pain with numerous illnesses and this compounds the toxic mix of emotions I have about her. I don’t feel love for her the way some people do about their Moms, just fear and sadness which I can’t explain. Even writing this post makes me anxious. I would really appreciate any insight into this matter.

    Thanking you in advance.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by P. E. | May 4, 2018

  3. Our pleasure, ImportantOrNotBlog. By the way, we don’t think your higher self enjoys tormenting you. Hang in there. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | April 16, 2018

  4. Thank you Bob, And Cynthia. Not a question. Just a comment…

    Wow and yikes! I always wondered if I’d done something in another life that caused this. I wish I hadn’t been like that. Looks like I decided to cram a lot of painful lessons in one lifetime. I wonder why? It seems like my life has been dominated by shame, regret, and pain. Forgiveness doesn’t come easy to me. It feels awful. I suppose this is another lesson/experience I chose. Maybe my higher self enjoys tormenting me. Right now I feel like I’m just clinging to a little tiny speck of spirit that keeps me going. My souls feels shattered.

    I try to remember that I am a spirit. having a human experience. But it is not easy. Growing up, I was always told that people who had spiritual experiences/past lives etc. were “nutters.”

    I want to do better in the next life. I don’t want to hurt myself or anyone else ever again -in this lifetime or the next.

    Thanks Cynthia, Bob and The Council. Light and Love.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by importantornotblog | April 16, 2018

  5. Hi mariner2mother,

    I wish I could figure out my mom. They never wanted kids and I always felt like a burden to them. As I became and adult, my success/failure was a direct reflection on them. I have always tried to be very kind, but Ibwas also raises to be very passive. I realize now that I am weak. I have made terrible decisions in life due to my weakness. Some of those decisions cannot be undone and will affect me for the rest of my life.

    I wish I could plan out my next life right now. I would like a respite life next go-around

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by importantornotblog | April 16, 2018

  6. ImportantOrNotBlog, I don’t know if this is helpful, but my mother treated me at times very poorly throughout my life. It helped me to understand that her poor treatment of me was directly reflective of her feelings toward herself. When I would do or say certain things, it would trigger my mother’s own internal pain, and she’d take it out on me. She was not allowed to be independent by her own mother, so when I’d come off as independent, it would set her off at times. Being able to see through her eyes, to know her internal pain helped me feel compassion toward her.

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by mariner2mother | April 15, 2018

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