Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

A Challenging Ex-Husband and Dependence on Her Mother

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Amorist, who says, in my life I feel I’ve been coping with relationships with many overbearing individuals. I assume there’s a purpose, but my ex-husband has been such a challenging person who I think fits the description of a narcissist. Empathy doesn’t come easily to him and he has very toxic ways of dealing with others.

The Council tells Amorist, you’re someone who’s trying to learn that you are a spirit in a physical body and everyone on Earth is also a spirit. Take a look at how you’re seeing these other people as overbearing and your ex-husband as being narcissistic. Instead of seeing these people as spirits that are pressing your buttons, see them as people who are pressing your buttons to see if you can look at them differently.

You may find these people overbearing and annoying, but can you get yourself to a point where you realize you don’t know what goes on in their lives. You don’t know what they’re going through. Can you see these people as spirits that are here with their own problems and experiences that they wish to go through and turn around? You’ve all agreed to be in this life together and to press each other’s buttons.

We love you as a spirit and we love you for everything you go through. But you’re in a place where you look at people negatively, which is fine because this is there to help you turn it around. Look at these people in your life that are annoying or overbearing and begin to see them as going through their stuff and trying to learn from it.

And in their own way when they get to a certain point they’ll see they are their higher self. You may not know it consciously, but your higher self is here because you want to turn your thinking around. We want to accept everyone for who they are and wish them well on their way.

Amorist asks about her history with her ex-husband beyond their current lifetime. The Council says because of what you wished to learn, knowing about your history is not important. What’s important is focusing on your present. You didn’t plan in spirit to focus on the past. You need to focus on what’s happening now and that’s what you wanted to do.

Amorist asks what her children are learning from her ex-husband. The Council says your children are learning from you how you respond to your husband. Do you speak negatively about him or about others? Your children will learn how you speak. How you handle these situations and how you speak will help your children on their path. Look at people differently, and have patience with them. Understand something is bothering these other spirits. You may not know what, but you can begin to understand we’re all here to have the fun of changing your thoughts and your life for the better. When you do this you’ll see how your world will change.

Amorist says, as a result of my ex-husband’s influence I’m concerned for the well-being of my children. The Council asks you to be loving and positive around your children. Amorist says things were so difficult for a long time. It was heart-breaking. Perhaps there’s something you can tell me about this situation that will ease my anxiety or help with my outlook.

You’re still focusing on what you’ve gone through with your ex-husband and your children. It was a difficult situation, but how are things right now? Is it still difficult? Do you still find the people around you to be obnoxious and difficult to get along with? Are you picking up on people’s bad traits? Are you judging them because they aren’t the way you believe they should be? It’s not so much about the other people, but about you, the way you are thinking, and how you handle these situations.

Amorist says, my mother is someone who is a very emotionally reactive and controlling individual who I feel seeks out disappointment and problems. The Council asks Amorist if she hears her judgemental words. This is what you see within your mother. Take another look. Look at her differently and understand your mother has her problems and difficulties, but there must be something positive you can see in her. Even if it’s the littlest thing we ask you to please focus on that.

Amorist says we’re living with my mother now and I’m really struggling with this situation. I want my own home so badly, but I don’t see the path forward toward that goal. The Council says when you become more accepting of everything, when you become grateful that you have a place to live with your overbearing mother, and when you can see good things in others your life will change. You’ll be able to move forward and have a better life, a home, and everything else you need, but you have to change your thoughts.

Amorist asks, how will I make ends meet and find a safe space for me and my children? The Council says safe space begins with love and positive thoughts. Do you play with your children? Do you talk about beautiful things? Do you point out what’s good or how other people are trying? Do you show this to your children? When you do these things you’re teaching them to look for the good in others.

Amorist asks, why am I dependent on my mother? The Council says it’s because you’ve decided to be in this place to learn from it. Amorist says, I love my mother but I feel sort of trapped, as though I don’t have space or privacy. I just want everyone to be happy and okay. The Council tells Amorist you must be happy and okay within yourself and then you’ll be able to see it in others. If you feel trapped in a jail cell, you’re the one with the key. We can promise you if you work hard to look at the good in others, if you can find the love you feel for people, if you can be grateful for what you have and teach that to others around you, when you do these things you’ll get what you need.

Amorist closes by asking, who am I in all of this? The Council answers you are a spirit who’s created this situation to learn from it, to grow from it, to bring love into this reality, to help others around you, and we’ll all grow together.

Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Amorist and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question in a Comment box at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

April 29, 2021 - Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Life Purpose, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , ,


  1. Glad to hear you’re making progress loving people who are pushing your buttons, Amorist. Be well.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 8, 2021

  2. Hi, Gabby. We’ll be happy to ask The Council your question about your co-worker when we have time and we’ll post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Thanks for your question. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 8, 2021

  3. Hi, I wanted to ask the Council about this situation I have with a coworker that has become very serious. I remember that since the first meeting with her I felt something about our connection, that I translated as romantic interest. It is something very intense. But upon interacting with her for the past year or so, not only it doesn’t seem that this will be romance, but also it became very toxic and full of drama. I gave her so much love, but it is like she has a wall that can’t accept any of it. When I stopped giving so much, I noticed that there is nothing there, which makes me very confused, how can you have all this connection with someone and at the same time, it being absolutely nothing? I don’t think this has ever happened before in my life, I don’t even know how to interpret it. What is the purpose of us meeting in this lifetime, if our intense connection simply is… unconnecting? What do both of us need to learn? I am at the end of my rope here!

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Gabby | May 7, 2021

  4. Thank you, Lilydaisy!

    Liked by 3 people

    Comment by Amorist | April 30, 2021

  5. This response to my question makes me smile (like hooo boy, did I ask for a tough lesson) because it’s so challenging, and yes, it’s a bit hard to swallow though I agree with developing a loving outlook, always. I am happy to say that trying to find acceptance and love has been the route I try so hard to take. I did indeed feel that what I was writing about these people sounded really negative and I struggled with that while I wrote it. I did not know how else to describe what we have coped with. This is a man who beat his own child upon finding out that he was suicidal, after years of emotional abuse. How else can one describe this… So, to ask the child, the mother, or anyone else to listen to how negative they sound in their struggle to understand such a hurtful situation like this strikes me, emotionally, as insulting at first. If the challenge here is to continue to find a way to love the other person I am happy to report progress with that, and it is indeed one of the biggest challenges of my lifetime. I feel like I want to explain that I really am not so negative like this. It isn’t a typical trait of mine. I have spent time working on seeing the wounded human who suffers their own plight behind this. Thank you for validation that I must keep doing this and remember what to be grateful for. ❤️🙏🏼 And thanks for your time. It is true, things are better now. I will try to let go if a need to understand the past.

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by Amorist | April 30, 2021

  6. 15 months ago The Council told me to change my thoughts too, and I have a completely different, better, happier life!

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by lilydaisy | April 29, 2021

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