Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Do I Pursue My Ex-Partner Or Try To Move On?

This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Lee. We previously published the post, Should I Continue My Relationship With My Current Partner? in response to Lee’s original questions.

Lee: Following up on the answers to my questions in the post above, I unexpectedly and completely fell in love with this man. He makes me feel loved and safe, and I would spend the rest of my life with him if he asked.

Council: He’s here to show you what you can experience, but not with him.

Lee: But he told me he doesn’t want a relationship anymore.

Council: And this is true.

Lee: We live in different states and he was supposed to move to be with me, but now he’s changed his mind and doesn’t even want to carry on the relationship long distance. I’m confused and heartbroken, of course. He seemed so cold and defensive toward me. I’m trying my best to stay away and not contact him, but my heart hurts. It’s so hard, and it brings back the pain of losing my husband and I don’t want to feel like that again.

Council: Losing your husband and finding this person, it would be normal to think that this relationship would be forever because it feels so good again. But it was a transitional stage to make you feel happiness again, to give you some joy, and to point out all the things you like in a relationship, and then move forward and create that in someone new.

Lee: I guess I’m just looking for why he feels he doesn’t want me anymore.

Council: At this time he doesn’t feel that he’s ready to commit to anyone. These are the challenges that he faces – wanting someone then not wanting someone and being afraid of permanency. At this point it’s very loving for you to just let him go and for you to let him deal with what’s on his plate, so to speak.

Lee: What do I do? Should I pursue him? Or should I try my best to forget him and move on, which I don’t really want to do? But if I’m forced, I have no choice.

Council: We advise you not to forget this man, but don’t pursue him either. When someone doesn’t want a relationship, and someone pursues them and pursues them, it only pushes them further away because they feel that what they want isn’t being heard or isn’t being honored. We say do not pursue, but also don’t forget.

Find all the things you loved in that relationship and start focusing on those things, and how you’d like them in a partner that’s looking for a commitment and looking to be with someone permanently. You will create that.

We do see there’s someone for you if you do the work and you focus more on the positive. You’ll bring this in.

Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lee and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

July 23, 2022 - Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Creation, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , ,


  1. Dear Anonymous. Thank you for sending love and light to Lee and for your encouragement. We’ll ask The Council your questions about being positive in a world that seems negative when we have time and we’ll post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Thanks for your question. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | July 28, 2022

  2. To Lee, I remember how devastating heartbreak can be when the other person doesn’t want to be with you. It’s really, really hard. I’m sending you love and Light. One step at a time–you can do this! Please do at least one thing today that makes you happy, like taking a nice bath or listening to some music you like. Hang in there!

    To Cynthia, Bob, and the Council: I would like to ask a question, please.
    There is a lot of chaos in our world right now, which I understand from you is a series of challenges that we chose in order to turn it around. But a lot of people are convinced that humans are fundamentally flawed (greedy, prejudiced, etc.) and basically that we and our earth are doomed. The scorching temperatures around the world are only making people feel more negative. I understand that everyone has their own path and timeline for understanding that we are powerful spirits who can manifest what we desire. Sometimes I wonder if my positivity is enough, though, when so many others are feeling so negatively. Can the positivity of one person override or outweigh the negativity of many in one’s own reality? It feels a bit scary to ask this because it feels like asking, “Is the weight of all the world’s problems really on me to solve?” But I’d like to clarify how effective being positive, meditating, and manifesting is when we live in a world with other people with different beliefs and desires–sometimes oppositional beliefs and desires!–all clamoring for attention. This also relates to politics, which shapes our worlds in big ways; if I want a law that I think is just, humane, and will bring happiness to more people passed, but there are other people who are against it, how does my (positive) thinking counter their (negative) thinking? Can it overcome their repression? It’s hard to not get stuck in a place of anger and even hatred when it comes to politics (and I don’t just mean the US, I mean globally). Having a new way to think about my own power and agency would be very helpful and would allow me to escape that trap. Thank you very much for your time!

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Anonymous | July 24, 2022

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