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How Do I Let Go Of An Ex-Friend With Love?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Lindsey.

Lindsey: I’d greatly appreciate The Council’s insight on a friendship that I’m having a hard time letting go of with love. We’ve known each other for about 15 years, and the last five years haven’t been great. During this time I’ve felt the friendship to be somewhat toxic and one-sided. There was a breaking point for me about three years ago, but I still showed up in group settings. I’ve since distanced myself more this past year, declining gatherings if she would be present. I dream of her often, which I find odd since we’re not in each other’s lives currently.

Council: It’s because subconsciously you do think of this person all the time without being aware of that. And so you would dream of this person, you’d have memories come up about this person, and you’d be, with your human brain, trying to figure out what’s going on, where in a situation such as this you’d have to come more from your heart and not your brain.

And so if it’s a toxic relationship, it’s fine to put an end to it if that’s what you want. But would you stay out of social situations because of this one person? And if you did, then once again your focus is on this person. There would be other people there for you to talk with and hang out with. And so think of it this way. If you need to let go of this relationship, that’s fine. But look at the surroundings, the people you want to be with, or don’t want to be with, and then make the decision for what you really want. And make yourself comfortable in that situation, and learn to focus on these other people. And you would see your feelings would be different hanging out with others in that group.

Lindsey: These past few years I’ve done a lot of self-work and I’m unwilling to allow people in my life that bring down my vibration, or don’t have good intentions.

Council: Ahh, right there, you don’t want people in your life that will bring down your vibration. Let’s see. We will put it this way. You are in control of your thoughts. And so other people that are around you, how you choose to see them will bring your relationship up or down.

Are you practicing accepting people the way they are? Maybe not understanding them. Maybe not even liking the way they react to things, or the way they treat you. But if you could find one good thing, even it’s, “Well, you know, I really don’t like being around this person, or this person annoys me, but they are going through their stuff, and I’ll send them some love.”

Or if I can’t do that, don’t focus on their negative qualities. And so when you don’t focus on these negative qualities, your vibration will not go down. You can simply think, “Oh, they’re on their path. I don’t get it. I don’t have to get it. I don’t have to understand it, but I can accept that.

Lindsey: Do you know if this is a relationship from a past life?

Council: We’d say, yes, there were several past lives. But what we’re trying to teach now and get people to understand, that past life doesn’t matter. It could have been wonderful. it could have been horrible. It could have been some of one and some of the other. You are here now to learn how to focus and create the relationships and life that you want.

And so even though many people like to know about the past – did I have a life with this one, did I have a life with that one – it really doesn’t matter. You are taking leaps up the ladder of enlightenment and growing, where you can let go of the thoughts of the past and see what’s going on now, how you handle it, how you can accept someone, and then just let it go and put your focus somewhere else. You will see a huge change in how you feel, and how your vibration is.

Lindsey: Do you have any advice on how I can be more at peace with the distance between us so I can honor the boundaries I feel are needed?

Council: Honor your boundaries, the ones that make you feel comfortable. Know that you had a relationship for a while. Try to remember the good parts of it and now say, for whatever reason I don’t understand yet, it’s time to let that relationship go. It’s so simple. It’s your choice.

Lindsey: Many thanks for all your guidance.

Council: So focus now on what you want – a new someone in your life, a more peaceful relationship with people around you, being able to feel more love from your heart. Even if you don’t like someone, you can just understand you are a spirit, they are a spirit, and you are all on your own paths.

And so as always, we wish you love and fun in your creations, and learning from them, and moving on, and helping the other spirits in your life on their path. And always remember, bring in the love, bring in the love. You can always find it in anyone if you truly look for it.

Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lindsey and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages and we’ll answer it when we have time.

Or you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.

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January 9, 2024 - Posted by | Acceptance, Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Decision Making, Desire, Love, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Vibration, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Hi Cynthia, Bob & The Council,

    I hope you are all doing well. I am in what is turning into a dire situation and I desperately need some help, clarity and guidance. I have been married for 21 years and have recently found out that my husband has been engaging in secretive behaviors that he has been lying to me about. I found out he has been hiding and lying to me about these behaviors for most of our marriage, which that alone has completely destroyed me and the foundation of our relationship. During the past year, my gut has been telling me that he is still lying to me but he denies denies denies. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but my intuition is not letting me move on. I still feel like he is lying to me in order to keep me from leaving him. I have tried everything in order to get the full truth out on the table so we can confront it, heal it, learn from it & move past it, but he just wants to sweep it under the rug and move on. During the last year, my self esteem has been eroded and I’ve found myself suicidal for the first time in my life. I have tried to find concrete proof of his behavior but I am coming up short. I have a hard time ending my 21 year marriage based on my gut feeling with no definitive proof. I am really struggling. Why am I taking the word of a liar over my own intuition? He has been gaslighting me for over a year and I am doubting myself now. I don’t want to break up our family and I want to believe him but I’m lost. I’m scared I’m going to make the wrong decision and have regrets. I do love him but our relationship is not in a good place right now. I personally am not in a good place right now either because I feel frozen and unsure of myself. We cannot keep going on like this. I would like to ask the counsel for any insight about this situation that they can give. What lessons are in play here? What is the best way to handle this situation? I don’t know how to reach him and I’m afraid too much damage has been done. Thank you for any insights you can give me.
    With many thanks,
    Kristi

    Liked by 1 person

    Unknown's avatar Comment by Kristi | January 9, 2024


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