Finding Gratitude in Marriage
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the initial, A.
A: Hi, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. Thank you for taking our questions. I would like some insight into my marriage. I don’t feel like I can be myself around my husband. It feels like my heart is closed off. I have a lot of resentment towards him, especially since having a child, and where the first few years I received almost no support from him.
Council: And so why are you now staying in that past, and what you experienced in the past? Can you see anything that you can be grateful for in your marriage now? Look at your partner. What is there that’s positive about him? Look for the good. When you do this you will find it. And the more you look, the more you will find.
A: I have found his behavior to be very selfish. I try to move past the resentment, but each new selfish act reminds me of the past. I no longer feel joy when I am around him.
Council: And so, when you see him do something you consider selfish, take a look at it. Is it really selfish? Or are you just going back into that feeling of how it was before? And if you see him doing something selfish, can you replace it and force yourself to find something that’s good? We ask you to look at this so that you can make a decision for yourself that’s more of what you want.
A: We have brought up divorce quite a few times. I’m not sure if this is the route I want to take.
Council: And that is why it’s good, at this point, to look for stuff to be grateful for in your marriage.
A: When I imagine that [divorce] future, part of it feels more freeing, but not all of it. I also don’t want to remain in a relationship where I feel alone and misunderstood.
Council: And when you feel like this, what usually happens in your human existence is you look for someone else. Someone that would give you the littlest bit of attention. And so we say, before you go there, look and see what works, and if there is great kindness in your marriage.
A: I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much from my relationship. I know I need to learn independence, but I’m not sure if this is the real problem, or if it’s just incompatibility between us.
Council: So again you’re saying you need to learn independence. What can you do to experience that now? Take that step in changing yourself. Take that step of learning something that you feel you need to learn. It is wise that you know that. So instead of waiting until later, do it now.
A: Another strange thing has been happening. I met this man…
Council: Ahhh!
A: …that I have hardly spoken with, and when I’m near him, I think about him. I have very strong feelings that cause me to question my marriage. This has happened twice now. I’ve never felt feelings like this towards another person.
Council: Because there is a longing in you that is looking for something new, something easy, something happy.
A: Who is this person to me?
Council: It is a spirit that you have called in because you feel something lacking in what you have now.
A: Are these my feelings, his feelings, or both?
Council: It is your feelings. And you can create it to go in any direction you want. But we say, question yourself, look for the good, come up with an answer, and then start the focusing and imagery on how you want your life to be.
A: Thank you very much for any insight you can provide.
Council: And we send you peace and love.
Listen to the entire 2-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for A. and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
And lastly, if you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
Ask The Council a Question
If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
Finding Your Way Around the Blog
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At the bottom of the left column on the Home page is a ‘Previous Entries’ link that will take you to a page with a list of earlier posts.
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The right-hand column of most blog pages contains this Welcome message. Below the Welcome message in the right-hand column are some useful features:
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Navigation Bar
The Navigation Bar at the top of each page contains a link to the blog Home page and links to the following additional pages:
Welcome: A link that displays this Welcome message in the left column (and the right column). At the bottom of the Welcome message is a Comment box where you can post a general comment about the blog or ask The Council a question.
Questions & Answers: Use this link to display a list of introductions to our longer posts, most of which are responses to reader questions. This is an easy way to check out these more in-depth posts. They are listed in chronological order with the most recent post on top. Clicking on the post title will take you to the page where you can read the complete post.
Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 