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Why is a Time Lag Necessary Before We Get What We Desire?

This post is the second in a series describing 2 sessions to answer 3 new questions from a reader named Jose. In the first post, How is It Possible There is No Separation Between Spirit and Human? (Jose’s Question 2.1), we address Jose’s concerns that spirit isn’t as unconditionally loving toward the human mind/body/ego as The Council and other spiritual teachers would like us to believe.

Jose’s Question

This post focuses on answering Jose’s second question, which you will notice is closely related to his concerns that we address in the first post.

“Why does there have to be a time lag in the physical to get what one desires?

“Is it because spirit wants to have it’s ‘negative’ experience in between, and once fulfilled it grants the body/mind/ego what it wants, if at all?

“Is it like a game where spirit always wins, but the body/mind/ego may or may not win at the end?”

When people hear the spiritual teaching that spirit immediately creates whatever the human desires, or the teaching to ask and it will be given, it’s not unusual for people to ask: If these teachings are really true, why does it takes so long for what spirit is creating and giving, to show up in my physical experience? This is Jose’s question, but with a twist.

His belief that spirit selfishly pursues expansion at the expense of its human part’s happiness has Jose speculating that spirit creates the time lag to frustrate its human part, because he thinks spirit’s expansion feeds on human disappointment.

We don’t feel it’s important to understand the negativity part of Jose’s question in order to benefit from The Council’s answer, but if you’re curious about this aspect of Jose’s question, you can learn more about it in the first post. Since we address the “negativity” issue in plenty of detail in that post, we won’t spend much time on it in this post.

Experience the Journey of Creating

During the session on Jose’s questions, when it felt like we had pretty well addressed his opening comments and to some extent his first question, we moved on to his second question. As I read it to The Council, they laughed. They seemed particularly amused by the idea that spirit always wins, but the body/mind/ego doesn’t. This is probably because they just spent a lot of time explaining that from a spiritual point of view there’s no separation between spirit and physical.

“We want to say here, if everyone was to get what they wished for instantaneously, you would create such havoc in your lives. Have you no memory of wanting something, or someone, and later finding out this wasn’t really a good choice?

“So there is a lag, and the lag is to have you try and create it. Or as you are trying to create it, [to] come to the realization that you don’t need this… whatever it is. And so it’s not to punish you and have you go through a negative experience.

“Sometimes you have to take into account what is going on in the whole situation… and then it’s the fun of trying to create it. It’s (as they say) the journey and not the goal.

“So it is always a lot of fun as you are trying to create something. And as you see it coming into your life… the experience… the expansion… is each step of the way while you are trying to create it. Once you have it, you will then have it and want something else to create.

“But there are some things that you think at one time or another that you really really need, you really really want, and then spirit gives you time because it knows it’s not the right direction to go in. So it will give you time to experience… whether to help the other person or persons, or for you to see this is not needed or wanted. And that is why there is the lapse.

“Imagine if you sat in your living room and you watched a movie, and it was a great safari. And all of a sudden… you love elephants and you want one. And then you create right in your living room a real elephant.”

“Let’s put it this way: spirit did not jump into this world to snap its finger and get everything it wants. It wanted to experience the journey of creating.”

Bob:” So based on what I’ve heard you say in other sessions, the buffer of time (as it’s often referred to) makes it easier to understand the process of manifestation in a physical reality?”

“To experience the process. You want the experience of creating.”

Bob: “Right. And so without the buffer of time there’s less awareness of the creative process?”


What You Really Really Want

The chaos explanation for there being a lag or buffer of time seems pretty easy to understand, as illustrated by the elephant example. Somewhat less intuitive is the idea that we need a buffer of time to manifest our desires in our physical reality because it takes time for us to realize that a lot of the things we initially think we really really want turn out to be things we don’t really really want after all.

Why Wait?

The idea that creation is a journey, not a goal, seems like good advice, as well as popular advice. The Council reminds us that once we get something we want, we are typically inspired to want something else. This means if we have to wait for our desires to manifest in our physical reality before we can enjoy them, our enjoyment will be limited. But if we can find a way to enjoy the entire process of creation, from initial desire, to manifestation, to new desire, and so on, our level of enjoyment expands considerably.

Helping People

We understand what The Council means when they say the lapse of time makes it easier for us to determine if a desire is really really wanted, but it wasn’t as clear what they mean when they say the lapse gives us time to experience helping other people. We think they are referring to the choice we make as spirit to sometimes help other spiritual beings have an experience they want in a human lifetime, by agreeing to play certain roles in our own human lifetime that let these other souls have the experiences they desire.

Parting Thoughts

We are very interested in the idea that all human beings are the creators of the realities we experience. If you’re interested in reading other posts we’ve published on this idea, they appear in our post category, You Create Your Reality. The Council’s answer to Jose’s question about the reason for a lapse or buffer of time feels like it provides some additional insights into the process of deliberate creation. Thanks to Jose for his thought-provoking question that inspired the session with The Council on this information. And thanks to The Council and all spiritual beings who’ve contributed to this effort to share this information.

Next Post

Jose’s third question is an interesting one about free will – a subject The Council has given a lot of importance to in many sessions. We intend our next post to describe The Council’s answers to Jose’s questions on free will.

Other Questions from Jose

If you find Jose’s question and The Council’s answer interesting, you may also be interested in reading these other posts inspired by some questions asked by Jose a few months ago.

  1. Every Question is Important
  2. Why Do People Appear Unable to Fulfill a Spiritual Intention to Have Fun and Remember Who We Are?
  3. Does Spirit’s Pre-Birth Planning Negate Human Free Will?
  4. Future Lives, Connecting with Famous ‘Dead’ People, & the Importance of the Present
  5. What Is Spirit Up To?

 Let Us Know What You Think

Thank you for taking time to read this post. We hope you feel your time with it has been well spent. We’d love to know what you think of this material. Please consider leaving a comment in the Leave a Reply section below. If you have any questions for The Council about ideas mentioned in this post or other posts, the Leave a Reply section is a good place to submit your questions. For questions not related to a specific post we suggest you write them in the Leave a Reply section at the very bottom of the Welcome page. We will be notified by email and reply as soon as we can.

An example might be a soul who wants to see how much love they can bring into a human situation where they are challenged to love a parent who behaves in ways that are difficult to love, like emotional or physical abuse. You might agree to incarnate as that soul’s human father, and choose to play the role of abusive parent so the other soul is able to experience the desired challenge this situation presents.

July 22, 2013 - Posted by | Desire, Helping Others, Questions & Answers, You Create Your Reality | , , , ,


  1. Hi Jose,
    It’s taken a lot longer than we expected to publish a post describing The Council’s answers to the question you asked about free will on June 17. With that in mind we thought you might like to listen to an audio recording of the session. We emailed you a link that will let you download the audio tracks that make up most of the hour session. Feel free to let readers of this blog know what you think of the session recording. -Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | October 3, 2013

  2. Hi K,
    This is a quick note to let you and other readers know that we did a session with The Council last week on your recent questions and we sent you an email with a link to an audio recording of the session. We hope you find it helpful and that when you get a chance you will let other readers of this blog know what you think of The Council’s answers. Thank you again for these questions. We suspect other readers will benefit from The Council’s guidance when we find time to describe the session on your questions in a post.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | September 29, 2013

  3. Hi K,
    Thank you for your kind words and your appreciation. We look forward to getting The Council’s point of view on your recent questions. We’ll let you know what they have to say.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | September 17, 2013

  4. Thank you for taking the time to respond in such detail amidst such transition and chaos in your outer life. 20 years!! Wow. Good luck with that. I just wanted to acknowledge your kindness and thoughtfulness. Will read the mail in detail and also wait for any additional input from the council if any, when you are more settled in. I value yours and Cynthia’s personal input just as much.

    Thank you. My best, K


    Comment by K | September 13, 2013

  5. Hi K,
    Good to hear from you. Cynthia gets the impression that The Council suggests doing what you can to bring more fun into your decision making process. This sounds like good advice. It’s easy to get the impression from your comments that your focus on the issue of your relationship with your husband is way more serious than it is for the part of you that is spirit. It also occurs to us that the feeling of well-being you desire in your relationship with your husband probably has less to do with any choices you make regarding external actions you take, and more to do with whether you can choose, in any given moment, to believe and feel that you and your husband are loving spiritual beings in physical bodies.

    Your question about how apparently opposite or contradictory thoughts can feel so aligned with spirit sometimes and the opposite at other times, seems like a common experience for many of us. We look forward to The Council’s insight on this question.

    Regarding whether it’s possible for two strongly conflicting thoughts/desires to come from spirit, we like to think spirit is not a source of conflict. We like to think spirit is a source of unconditional love that helps resolve and uplift conflict.

    We agree with your understanding of The Council’s guidance for Jose, that there isn’t anything in your human experience that is unwanted by who you are as spirit, but we wouldn’t necessarily draw the conclusion that your soul likes mental challenges and solving puzzles (although this certainly seems possible). The first thing that occurs to us is that your soul likes the opportunity to bring the feeling of love that you experience as spirit into these situations you experience as conflicted, challenging, and puzzling.

    Regarding your comment that spirit-based choices may feel difficult in physical experience, we like to think our resistance to spirit-based choices is what’s responsible for feeling something is difficult, rather than thinking spirit is creating something physically difficult for us to experience as humans. The best way we know of to make choices in harmony with who we are as spirit is to pay attention to our feelings in any given moment, and recognize that uplifting feelings are the result of increased alignment with who we are as spirit, and feelings of diminished well-being are the result of focusing our attention in ways that spirit doesn’t focus.

    We hope this helps until we can provide The Council’s point of view. Please be patient. We’re in the process of moving from an apartment we’ve lived in for over 20 years and we’re finding it a challenge to maintain our usual focus on this blog.

    With love, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | September 13, 2013

  6. To elaborate, a little bit on that thought, question…could two strongly conflicting thoughts/ desires both even be from the same source ( the spirit)? Is that even possible? When this happens, then is one strong thought deeply rooted in the mind because of an unmet desire that is really a product of the mind habit or the ego which makes it feel equally “real” or give it equal importance when it is not?

    Then again, council said in an earlier (Jose) post that there is no separation between the body, mind and soul so there is nothing that happens in the body or mind that the soul does not want. So maybe this conflict or challenge ( within a challenge) is also my souls creation?? So my soul likes mental challenges as well:):)…fair enough but I am sure just like every who likes to solve challenging puzzles and crosswords, my soul certainly must also yearn to solve it instead of just experiencing and facing (staring at) the puzzle with as much love as possible!!! :).

    I think I have come a long way in making the choice to pick a better feeling, spirit based loving thought into what feels like a conflict ( to the physical) but I want to know how to truly truly recognize and make spirit based choices even if they feel what the physical considers as difficult.

    I am sure there are many others who are ready for this guidance and hence I was drawn to ask this on the public forum after a bit of deliberation.

    I am ready and willing, dear council. Guide please.


    Comment by K | September 10, 2013

  7. Beloved council, Bob and Cynthia,
    In a personal session with me regarding my relationship with my husband, when I was ( still am) trying to find out for sure what I really desired on that issue and what would be in the highest spiritual interest of all of us you had said that my spirit already knows what that is. I am believing , pretending ( when I am having trouble believing) that I am in perfect tuning with my spirit and am bing guided by it already,
    but am still unable to get out of a state of ever changing flux of ideas that are opposites, on the same issue. Higher feeling of love seems to be in both ideas of letting go and healing back the relationship and both also bring a sense of fear or panic too. Please, please suggest how better to be in tune with my own souls calling… I know I am not too far off but why two sets of exact polar opposite ideas which both feel right and both feel wrong with almost similar intensity at times.

    This issue is certainly a big part of my souls path and I so want to hear and be directly guided by it this time instead of creating further challenges and further complications.

    Thank you so much again (and again).


    Comment by K | September 9, 2013

  8. Hi Jose,
    Thank you for your appreciation for The Council’s guidance and these posts.

    For the past couple weeks since we published the post on your question about the reason there’s a buffer of time in physical reality, we’ve been thinking about publishing a post on our sessions with The Council that not only answers your recent thought-provoking question about free will, but also sheds some light closer to the root of the collective concerns you’ve expressed in your earlier and recent questions and comments.

    Until now it felt like that root was eluding us, but your question, “why can’t my spirit guide show up and talk to me like a friend would, loud and clear?” feels like the answer we’ve been asking for. At or near the root of your most challenging questions it feels like there’s a powerful desire to experience the eternal spiritual being you are, combined with beliefs you have about the challenges of human reality that make it difficult to believe you’re an eternal, unconditionally loving spiritual being.

    According to our understanding of what The Council has been teaching us, the short answer to your question is a simple one, but not necessarily easy to put into practice if your habits of thought aren’t in sync with The Council’s advice. The short answer is that the only thing keeping the part of you that is eternal spirit from showing up in your human experience and talking to you loud and clear like a friend, is your human belief you aren’t able to have this experience. The Council says the more you are able to believe you can have this experience, the more you will notice what you desire in your human experience.

    That’s it in a nut shell. The connection to free will is that The Council says every human being has the free will in any given moment to choose what we believe. What we choose to believe about the physical reality we experience can have a powerful influence on our ability to experience spiritual realities.

    Movies and dreams can be helpful metaphors for describing the relationship between spiritual realities and physical realities. It’s our understanding that from a spiritual point of view, human realities may be perceived as happy, funny, and even dramatic, but we question whether spirit finds human realities horrific, or even tense.

    We find it a better-feeling thought (belief) that we don’t have to wait until the end of our physical life, or even a near end, to realize our spiritual nature. We agree our body/mind/ego is like a vessel, and we like the idea that the thoughts and beliefs we fill this vessel with will determine where this vessel can take us in our human realities.

    Believing a movie or a dream is any less real than any other experience seems to us to be a choice. As long as it’s a better-feeling choice, it seems like a good idea to keep choosing it until an even better-feeling choice (belief) comes along.

    Congratulations on what seem to us to be some seriously better-feeling thoughts than the ones that inspired your earlier and recent groups of questions. We encourage you to take time to feel appreciation for how those earlier, not-so-good-feeling thoughts have contributed to the better-feeling thoughts you seem to be thinking lately. And the next time you choose to explore some not-so-good-feeling experiences, perhaps you can remember how earlier similar feeling experiences with no obvious human usefulness or purpose, eventually helped you have satisfying human experiences you may not have had otherwise.

    We look forward to seeing how the post on your free will question turns out now that we have a focus of attention about it we feel good about.

    Love and Light,
    Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | August 10, 2013

  9. Thank you guys, the lessons are golden. As of lately, it has become my belief that physical life is like a movie. As an infinite being, we get to watch all movies (lives). Some movies are happy and funny, others tense and dramatic, and some full of horror, but we get to watch all movies. We experience all kinds of lives but we only realize it when we become one with the Universe (after passing). If you choose a horror movie (life)- that was your choice, that was your free will as spirit, that is what you manifest and thus what you get to live for ~70 years. What is ~70 years to an infinite life? Nothing. Comparatively speaking, it’s much less than a 2 hour movie or a sleeping dream. Physical life is just a dream, a very short dream in the big picture of infinity, and our body/mind/ego is just a vessel- like the clothes we wear or the seats we take when we go to a movie, bottom line, they don’t matter. Those who commit suicide hoping to end their misery are akin to those leaving the theater before the movie is over. Letting go of all fears would be like realizing that the movie is fake, some can do it but others can’t. Then there are those who die and come back (NDE experiences) who finally figure it out. Those are the ones that left the theater, realize that real life is not the movie (safer and better), and get to come back (go back in the theater) and tell everyone that the movie is not real and just “hang in there knowingly” for the experience.

    Not that I am advocating death to prove it, but oh how do I wish to have the vision one gets in an NDE to have the knowledge that physical life, like a movie, is not real. Why can’t I manifest that knowledge? Why can’t I just know? Why can’t my spirit guide show up and talk to me like a friend would, loud and clear? Thank you Bob, Cynthia and The Council for showing up where my spirit guide or infinite self dares to not.


    Comment by Jose | August 9, 2013

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