Confused About Relationship with Her Boyfriend
This post is inspired by questions from a reader who goes by the name, Ivygreat, about her confusing relationship with her boyfriend. When she tries to tell her boyfriend he’s done something to offend her and they need to talk about it, he twists her words and she ends up feeling worse.
The Council says one of the great lessons Ivygreat would like to learn in this lifetime is independence, living on her own, and being able to take care of herself.
Being with her boyfriend will show Ivygreat that perhaps it’s better to leave this relationship and become more independent, or does she wish to stay in this relationship and experience the unhappiness.
The Council feels if Ivygreat was to become more independent, be able to support herself, and not be afraid to go out on her own, this relationship will change.
Ivygreat is in a place where her boyfriend knows he is needed and she is sort of under his thumb. The relationship will remain this way until she finds a way to change it by doing what she can for herself.
The Council says Ivygreat’s boyfriend isn’t able to hear and understand what upsets her about his behavior. He imagines he’s being attacked when she tries to talk to him about these things. For the time being The Council advises holding back this criticism and not trying to explain what’s wrong. Instead The Council advises Ivygreat to let what she doesn’t like about her boyfriend to challenge her to grow.
The Council says as Ivygreat experiences how good it feels to be independent, this feeling good and the ability to meet the challenge and create what she wants will change the relationship for the better.
Listen to our entire 6-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Ivygreat and the rest of us, and let us know your feelings.
We’re glad you loved this post, Jan. Thanks for the feedback.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this post! It resonates so much for me and I wish I’d had access to this advice when I spent many years being ‘pushed to grow’ by an unhappy relationship, before finally having the courage to become more independent. I’m sure The Council’s words will help many others.
LikeLiked by 1 person