Problem Being Estranged From Her Family
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Kali, who’s concerned about being estranged from most of her family. She says the estrangement feels terrible, but she hasn’t found a way to reconcile with her family. Kali asks if there’s a soul contract reason for this estrangement and how she can move forward. And she asks for advice on how she can reconcile with her family, or how she can be peaceful with the estrangement.
The Council says each person in this family is on their own path and wants to learn different lessons. You’re all here to learn about love and forgiveness.
This family does have a soul contract: it’s to come together and allow each other to create the atmosphere they need to learn.
You wanted to figure out who you are as a spiritual being, and see each person in your family from a spiritual perspective. Each person has a hardship and one or more lessons they have to go through. As you begin to see your family from this more spiritual perspective, what goes on in the family begins to change.
What has this estrangement from your family done for you? How do you see yourself in this situation? Do you feel less than because your family isn’t close? Do you blame yourself for certain things? Are you dealing with anger? If you’re going through any of these feelings, why are you taking on these negative thoughts? Change the perception of who you are by focusing on yourself and what you’re learning from each person in your family.
You’re family has chosen to come together, not so much to learn about everyone else, but to learn a little bit about everyone else. Now take the focus and put it on yourself. Your family situation was created for each family member to go deep inside themselves and see what you think about yourself according to how you’re being treated by the family. Are you feeling abandoned? How do you feel about all the fighting and verbal abuse? Do these feelings make you feel less than the spirit you are? You’re still part of all spirits that are here trying to create and learn.
As you figure out who you truly are as a spiritual being by watching the other members of your family and understanding, even if just a little bit, that it’s difficult for everyone and your identity doesn’t hinge on how your family treats you. You’re a brave spirit who came to this reality at this time to learn about yourself.
The agreement between the souls in your family was to learn about the family dynamic, learn about forgiveness, learn about love, and learn about abandonment and hurtful feelings. In the middle of this learning, begin to remember you’re all spirits wanting to learn about these feelings, and then put the focus on yourself, especially when you feel the estrangement can’t be fixed.
What is your part in this family? It’s just a small part of who you are as a spiritual being. Can you look at the people in your family with kindness by allowing them to be who they are? Each person in your family has chosen to be there to learn about themselves. Some will learn and some won’t.
Appreciate who you truly are as a spiritual being, not only in your family, but with friends and coworkers. Are you taking the love we’re here to bring into this reality and use it wherever you can, whether it’s accepted or not?
In your family the dynamic that was set up is like a keg of dynamite, but this is a good thing. The family didn’t come in and say they’d all get mad at each other. They came in and said, some how we’ll find a way to learn about ourselves. We’ll do whatever is necessary for as long as necessary to look at each other, and maybe after a while feel some sadness that there’s no connection. And then they’ll question the sadness and begin to wonder how that can begin to change. And when the desire to change is there and the true looking at one’s self begins to happen, changes must come.
The courageous souls that these family members are, came together to learn about themselves. What they’ve created is a situation where there’s understanding that everyone in the family will eventually accept what’s going on, accept their own behavior, and then move on from that behavior. As they move on, the family may not change, but you’re all wonderful spirits who have chosen to help each other grow by learning about yourselves.
It wasn’t your agreement that members of the family will do one thing or another and then all make up and come together. What was arranged was that family members will learn about themselves by being in this family. They will try very hard to bring love into this family dynamic and grow from this. No matter how this family situation turns out, everything with the family does not have to be resolved. Because the family members allow each other to go on one’s own path, this creates a great spiritual leap.
It can be difficult to accept a lack of resolution for the family situation. But when you come into this reality and say: let me learn about myself no matter what goes on around me; let me have the understanding and calmness to allow everyone to deal with what they need to deal with in their own way; and as I learn about myself and begin to change, and my energy begins to become lighter, it will reach each family member to help them on their path. This is what you’ve agreed upon.
In spirit, when you learn about yourself and you search for ways to handle situations with love, without blame, and accepting the behavior of others, the vibration will change and you must grow. It was with this thought that this family has come together.
Listen to the entire 15-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kali and the rest of us and let us know what you feel.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
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Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
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Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 
Hi Kali. We’re glad you were able to spend time with your family and that it wasn’t horrible. We’ll be happy to ask The Council your follow up questions about ways you might be able to improve your situation, whether it’s important to like your family, and whether it’s true that giving up any desire to be understood by your father has been helpful for your spiritual growth. We’ll post an audio recording of our session with The Council as soon as it’s ready. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia
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Hi,
May I ask a follow-up question? I have been working on this issue very hard, taking your advice about acceptance, compassion, allowing, and self-examination. I feel I have made progress. I was able, for example, to attend the holiday celebration last week which included all members of my family from whom I have been estranged. It was not horrible, but I did not enjoy myself. At this point I am wondering if you have any follow up advice for me to improve the situation even more. I would like to like my family members – is this important? Also, I feel like giving up any desire to be understood or validated by my dad has been really helpful to my spiritual growth. Do you see that as being true? And any advice on where to go from here, if anywhere? Thank you so much for all your help!
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Thank you so much for your appreciative comment, Danna. We’re glad it’s helped you feel better and give you some meaning and direction. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia
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Hello! Thank you so much for this! I tried to reply on the page before but it wouldn’t let me. This is really affirming and supportive for me and I’ve felt so much better since listening! Really gives me a clearer sense of meaning and direction. I’m so grateful also for the clarifications you made so that I can truly understand.
Again… I so appreciate what you are doing!
Much Love,
Danna (Kali)
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