Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Why Am I With My Husband Rather Than the Love of My Life?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused, who says her soulmate (who’s the love of her life) lives in another country and I’m unable to be with him. I don’t understand why I’d choose this separation when there’s no one I’d rather be with and would have been ecstatic to spend my life with him.

The Council says you planned in spirit to experience the feeling of having this love of your life, and then be given a chance to work through this to see there’s not just one soul you can have this kind of relationship with. You planned to let go of the belief you can have only one love. There are many souls that will come in and out of your life. If you allow it to happen, there’s another person that will come into your life and fill this loving role.

You want to see there’s always a way to change what you’re going through. There’s always a way to create love in your life in any way you need it. Work through this belief you have only one love and you’re life is stuck because you can’t be with this person. Release these unhappy thoughts there isn’t any joy in your life or other love for you. You created this situation to experience the change you’re able to make in your life if you’re open to it.

Confused says she’s married, but I have little in common with my husband, and I don’t want to break up my family. The Council says you don’t always need a lot in common with your spouse. You’re together to see what you have in common and what you don’t have in common, to see what this other soul is like and what he’s capable of. Are you willing to help your husband advance in this lifetime? Are you willing to show love to your husband and allow yourself to feel the love in return? That’s your purpose for being together.

Bob asks if Confused can have a loving relationship with her husband similar to the love of her life. The Council says if you go through life thinking your soulmate is far away, I can’t be with him, I have to settle for something less, then how you see your life and your beliefs about your relationships would never allow this to happen.

The Council says they don’t know what Confused is going to create as she goes through this lifetime. It was spiritually planned to be married to her husband and maybe not see her marriage as the love of her life. But when she understands it’s not possible to be with her love, can she have the faith and trust to let him go and give her husband a chance. Or if that isn’t possible because of Confused’s beliefs, then she can create something new. Variety is an important aspect of learning how to create. You aren’t stuck here in an unhappy marriage. With your thoughts and beliefs it’s possible to change what you think a marriage is into something you’d like it to be.

The Council says Confused chose both to be with her husband and to experience the man in the foreign country as the love of her life even though she couldn’t be with him.

Confused says she wants to share her next life with her true love without any complications. The Council says if you want to create a new life with this man you feel is the love of your current life, and if that soul is open to this, you’ll create it.

The Council says Confused’s purpose in her current life is to be in her marriage where she doesn’t feel her husband is the love of her life. The purpose is to look differently at your husband and see what this soul is really all about. Give this person a chance to grow. Be there for your husband.

The purpose you chose for this lifetime was to meet one person who you believe is the love of your life, but to have a husband who’s already in your life, and see just how wonderful your marriage can be if you give it a chance and see your husband differently. Feel gratitude for having your husband in your life. Realize you’ve chosen this, whether you believe it or not, or whether you think it makes you happy or not.

How can you send love to your husband? How can you change the way you feel about your husband by looking at him through the eyes of love? You are souls that have come together to experience this life together and see where that takes you.

Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

May 7, 2020 - Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Life Purpose, Love, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Reincarnation, Relationships, Soul, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , ,


  1. Thank you for your feedback, I am looking forward to your answer and I am sending you my gratitude for your efforts to shed light every single time to all of us!

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Evelyn | July 30, 2020

  2. Hi, Evelyn. Thank you for your questions, but there are too many for us to answer on the blog. We noticed you posted a question on 5/24, which we’ll answer when we have time and we’ll post an audio recording of The Council’s response as soon as it’s ready. If you want to ask another one or two questions after we post The Council’s response to your question about the violinist, please repost them. Thanks. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | June 19, 2020

  3. According to the questions of the followers and since brevity is the soul of wit, I would like to focus on two questions, given the fact that in my case always my heart mattered the most.
    I would like to know if I shared a previous lifetime with the violonist, with whom we were together ten years ago, and also if I will be able to maintain a contact with the man, that the Council had in a previous question replied, that we had a mother/son relationship. I am really grateful for these two people in my life, because they have changed me a lot in a good way.
    I always wanted to keep people in my life, who had really been important to me and I strongly hope that I will be able to do so this time as well, especially with the second situation, because we have been out of touch for a long time now.
    I will be very grateful to hear what the Council has to say about these two questions.
    Love and light to both of you,

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Evelyn | May 24, 2020

  4. How can the Council explain that in many of the answers that you give, it is like I hear once more dialogues in my mind about how I should behave in challenging situations, like for example relationships with my parents or my partner? The Council is like our Higher Self or sth like that?
    I would like to ask very spacific questions about my role in this lifetime: I suffer from pains in my back, and I do yoga exercises almost every day, but I haven’t been able to get rid of the pain once and for all. Does this have to do with a previous lifetime? Is there any other suggestion that I should follow? I would also like to ask about something that I always felt very intense in my life. I feel a very strong connection to a man, with whom I had a relationship ten years ago, a devoted violonist, he is married now and has two adorable children and we talk from time to time and I always feel that I want to be there for him, especially when he gets old. Do we share anything worth to mention from the past? I have the same feelings for a man, with whom I was recently and we could almost have a child together. I have asked you once again in the past, and the Council has told that we used to have a mother-son relationship in a previous lifetime. We don’t talk anymore, but I wish with all my heart that we could somehow find a way to communicate again with no strings attached in a more sincere way, that would benefit both of us.
    My last question has to do with my biggest love of all, the german language, which I have been studying for many years. How is that I feel so absorbed, when I deal with this fascinating language? Is there an explanation? I really love german and one of my goals is to be able to be a good translator one day.
    I would like to thank you a lot for the time you devote to all of your readers.

    May light guide your souls, every step of the way.


    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Evelyn | May 16, 2020

  5. Hi, Harmony. We’ll ask The Council your question about whether you made a pre-life plan to meet this girl you’re asking about and we’ll post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Thanks for your question. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 11, 2020

  6. Hi, Eden. This sounds like a question we answered for you in February of this year. When we have time we’ll ask The Council again and post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 11, 2020

  7. Hi Bob and Cynthia,

    I would like to Ask The Council about a girl I just met a couple of weeks ago. She seems pretty nice, and I enjoy being around her some. I feel she might like me in the romantic way. But I dont know if I should try to pursue a romantic relationship with her. I kind of feel like I dont want a serious relationship at this time. But perhaps that would be good for me. It also makes it more difficult that she lives very far away from me. Was she someone I agreed to meet before coming into this lifetime?

    Thank you very much. Much love and light! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Harmony | May 11, 2020

  8. Hi Bob and Cynthia,

    I would absolutely love it if you could please ask the Council the below question for me 🙂
    Why can’t I let go of my ex partner? We were only together for a year and it’s been almost 2 years since he ended the relationship and I still can’t seem to move forward. I feel like I have tried everything yet it still consumes me and I have no idea what to do. Sometimes I feel like I don’t really want to be on Earth if we can’t be together. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you xox

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Eden | May 8, 2020

  9. I love this!

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Anonymous | May 7, 2020

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