Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Is This Man At Work Interested In Getting To Know Me Better?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused.

Confused: I’m interested in someone at my workplace and I really feel that he’s interested in me as well. I asked him to have coffee with me and he agreed, but he didn’t follow through.

Council: And so when you asked him to have coffee with you, did you put it out there to this person? Part of this lesson for you is moving forward and being able to ask for what you want. And so when you perhaps mentioned coffee, did you say, “Is there a time you’d like to do this? Is there a good day for you?” So you take the situation further, and ask the question, and see how this person answers. But it’s all about you being able to ask for what you want.

Bob: As opposed to her waiting for him to ask?

Council: Yes.

Confused: I don’t want to ask him again since I was clear with my intention.

Council: That isn’t helping you grow. You need to be clear with your intention and to make sure from his response that this person knows what you’re speaking about.

So again, if you’d come across and say, “You know I mentioned before about us having coffee. Are you open to that?” And then if you get a yes then you say, “Well okay, then let’s plan a day or a time that works.” Take it further. Don’t be afraid to speak up for what you want for yourself instead of playing that sort of let’s wait and see game.

Confused: I do feel there’s attraction between us. He comes to the office twice a month so I don’t get to see him often. However, since I asked him for coffee, he was texting me daily for one month, but his texts were lacking substance. I decided to take a step back and stop interacting with him on a personal level and keep it very professional.

Council: So let us imagine here – because you don’t know what this person is going through – you took a step back. His texts were lacking substance. Maybe this person thought that was the safe way to go. Again, you stepped back. It’s time to move forward. And when you stepped back, because you don’t know what the other person goes through, that could come across as you not being interested.

And so, again, the both of you are sort of playing this waiting and questioning game. So one of you – and it was your wish for you to grow – one of you should take the relationship forward.

Bob: It sounds like you’re suggesting that Confused be more assertive.

Council: Yes, exactly, with the thought in your head that it doesn’t matter what answer you get, whether it’s yes or no. But for your growth you’ll feel good about yourself knowing you spoke up for what you wanted.

Confused: He has also stopped interacting with me as well. I’m confused because I thought there was something between us. Did I misread the signs?

Council: You didn’t misread the signs. It’s that you’re both having similar issues. So we’d say again, when you feel comfortable and you can say it in a funny, kidding way, ask him about having coffee. But lock it down. Ask for a date. Ask for a time. If you don’t get an answer, then you know it’s time for you to wait and to step back. But it’s really – and it’s important for you to understand, no matter what the answer is – it’s all about you. Your soul wanted to grow in this particular reality and to ask for what you want.

Confused: Should I let go if this feeling or the thought of us getting together and getting to know each other?

Council: Well that’s entirely up to you. If this is what you want, then see it. Be very kind when you do see the person, when you get together again for business. But being kind and being friendly won’t work against you. So there’s no reason at this time to let go of getting to know each other more. See it, feel it, and do the inner work.

Confused: He’s giving me mixed signals and I feel very confused.

Council: And he’s thinking the same thing about you. (Laughing)

Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

April 15, 2023 - Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Questions & Answers, Relationships | ,


  1. Hi, Lost. We’ll be happy to ask The Council about your relationship when we have time and we’ll post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Thank you for your question. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | April 30, 2023

  2. Hello Cynthia, Bob, and The Council. Your guidance is always clarifying for me, so I was hoping you’d help me once more.
    I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years with a woman I love very much. I do think that she is a pure soul and that we have been together for a reason. What that reason is, I’m not sure. But I can feel it. Recently, I’ve just felt like I’m unsettled in this relationship. Like it’s holding me back. I would like clarification on how to figure out what path I wanted to take before coming into this life. How do I differentiate between simple things that I may want and the bigger picture of my life? I’m not sure if my wanting to leave this relationship is because I know my plan and what I wanted for this life and it will get in the way of that… or if it’s just a feeling that will pass. Thank you for your time and guidance!

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Lost | April 26, 2023

  3. Hi, Clueless. We’ll be happy to ask The Council your question about the guy at work when we have time and we’ll post an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready. Thanks for your question. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | April 21, 2023

  4. Wow, I’m experiencing the same thing! I haven’t asked the guy at work for a coffee, but everyone says I should.
    So many people at work think he’s interested but I see no signs-at all. I’d love to get to know him as a friend, as we have so much in common, but I fear the rejection.
    Whatever others are seeing, I’m not seeing it from him. He’s an awesome guy, but I don’t know if he’s shy, or purely just not interested.
    Please let me put Cynthia, Bob and the council.
    I’m clueless.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Clueless | April 15, 2023

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