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Is it Possible to Change Your Life Just by Changing Your Thoughts? + Helping Others

This post is inspired by the following simply stated questions from a reader named Freddy:

  1. How do better-feeling thoughts affect your life?
  2. Is it really possible to change your day-to-day life and your future with just a change in your thoughts?

On Thursday, June 14, 2012 we did a session with The Council to answer Freddy’s questions. During this session The Council surprised us with some related guidance about a question on Cynthia’s mind.

They observed that many of us who follow spiritual guidance related to the law of attraction and better-feeling thoughts, are limiting ourselves when we focus primarily on satisfying desires that aren’t also helping others.

The Council reminds us we are spiritual beings and that we planned with other spiritual beings to help each other bring the love we are as spirit into this physical dimension.

When we expand the focus of our attention to include these plans we made in spirit to help each other, these better-feeling thoughts allow us to experience the kind of spiritual expansion we came here for in the first place. The guidance on helping others begins under the heading: Cynthia’s Question about Helping Other People.

Recorded Audio Content

Images like this one  in the post represent an audio player that can play a sound recording of a portion of our session with The Council. Typically the segment is related to the text that follows the player.

The quotation text in the post is an abridged and slightly edited version of the recorded session and is intended to provide a good sense of what we consider the most relevant aspects of the conversation. The posted audio segments often include additional session content that is edited out of the written post. It’s our hope these sound recordings help you connect more easily with the feeling of what The Council is talking about during the session.

To play an audio recording, left-click on the triangle on the right side of the audio player. The segment name displays in the player along with the time left in the recording. To pause the audio player, left-click on the icon that looks like this: . You are also able to left-click along the length of the recorder to skip forward or move backward in the recording. The volume can be adjusted by left-clicking on this icon: ; click on the right side to increase volume and the left side to lower volume. Copyright ℗ 2014 Bob & Cynthia Dukes

You Sort Of Light Up

“First of all, better-feeling thoughts affect the whole body…your whole mood…your whole vibration.

“You can tell the difference between a thought [like]: ‘I hate this job…I have to get up and go there…’ [or:] ‘Oh, my legs hurt…my back hurts…my head hurts…I have to go to the doctor.’

“And then you have a thought: ‘Oh, I’m so looking forward to this vacation we planned in the Berkshires. Oh, I remember the first time I went to the beach…I was 5 years old…I can still remember the sand castle we built.’

“Each thought has a different vibration. The better-feeling thought is what we call a quickening vibration. It’s like you become more alive; you begin to sparkle. When we look at you…you sort of light up.

“The better-feeling thought also affects your body. When you have the better-feeling thoughts, every cell in your body reacts to it.

“Now is it true that it changes your life? Yes.”

“When you really focus over and over again on better feeling thoughts, your thought…your feeling, is a vibration that goes out into the Universe. And as you are all learning now [about] the law of attraction, you must get back the same vibration that you are putting out. So what will return to you is a vibration that will bring to you more and more of things that will help you feel better.”

—The Council
Similarly formatted text throughout the post represents The Council’s comments during the session. Text [in brackets] was not spoken by The Council, but has been added (where appropriate) to help you follow the conversation.

To be truthful, The Council actually began their response to Freddy’s questions like this:

“No, it doesn’t work [short pause, then a hearty laugh].

For a second I (Bob) didn’t know what to think, and I quickly realized they were having some fun. One of the things we really enjoy about The Council is their sense of humor and their joyous attitude toward spirituality.

Non-Physical isn’t ‘Out There’–It’s Right Here

“Everything goes out. Your thoughts and your feelings go out like radio waves, like TV waves. It goes out into the Universe. Thoughts are alive…feelings are alive…they go out.”

“It’s a vibration that moves.”

Bob:     “I’m sort of thinking that where the better-feeling energy is coming from when I’m thinking a better-feeling thought…is more coming from non-physical reality.”

“Yes…you connect more to who you are.

“And so as we’ve said before, when you have the better-feeling thought, that vibration goes [out]…and you are more connected to who you truly are [as a spiritual being]. And that is how you bring the loving feeling from the non-physical into the [physical], which is what everyone plans to do when they come into the physical plane.”

“You must remember you are non-physical. It’s only a small part of you from the spirit world that comes into the physical reality to help you move about in your physical bodies.

“So you are the non-physical. There is not non-physical ‘out there’–it’s right here.”

“When we say your vibration goes out there, [we mean] your vibration expands. And as you expand…that tiny spiritual part that came into the body also expands and you become more aligned with the rest of you that is still in the non-physical.

“And so from the non-physical you create the better feeling, and you create whatever it is that you’re trying to create in your life.

“So there is not a place in your Universe [from which] this better-feeling thought brings something back to you. It is you expanding, connecting with your higher self, that allows you to be more in the vibration of love and happiness that brings the continuous good feeling and manifestation that you are searching for.”

This last comment seems like it might be contradicting The Council’s comment earlier in the session that our vibration goes out into the Universe and a vibration returns that brings more and more things that will help us feel better.

More than One Way to Think About Better-Feeling Expansion

I (Bob) raised the issue of this apparent contradiction and The Council replied:

“Many people believe there is a heaven, and then there is Earth. And so this image of a vibration going out and bringing something in is very helpful to many, many people.

“And yet once you realize who you are in the physical body, and that you are always attached to the rest of you who is still in non-physical (where there is only love…where there is only joy and good feelings); when you realize that, then you can begin to–and this is for some–understand how, as you have the better-feeling thought, your vibration grows [and] you become more connected to the rest of you that is in the non-physical.

“And it is always you that is creating the good and what you consider the bad in your life. It comes from nowhere else.”

“The better-feeling thoughts are like a balloon escaping and going up into the clouds and disappearing. When you have a feeling or a thought that is not that good, not only is it like a bag of sand falling to the ground; you feel it in your body…you do not feel as good. There is sometimes even a feeling of heaviness when you have these so-called negative (not positive) thoughts.

“You can always tell what your feelings are creating by how you feel–not only emotionally, [but] physically. Your emotions are so strong it affects the body. This comes from what you are thinking–what you are focusing on.”

The Council seems to be suggesting there are different ways of thinking about how better-feeling thoughts attract better-feeling experiences; and even if the different ideas appear to contradict each other, what matters more is whether the result is better-feeling vibrational expansion.

When Feeling Better or Feeling Anything Doesn’t Seem Like an Option

The more we talked about better-feeling thoughts, the clearer it became how important it is to be aware of our feelings as much as possible, because that’s the only way to know whether a thought is better-feeling or not. I remembered times when I was afraid of feeling “too good” because I imagined I’d somehow be punished for it and the good feeling would be taken away. And I remembered times when it seemed like I couldn’t feel anything at all, or didn’t want to because I was afraid it would be too painful. I imagined others might be in similar situations and asked The Council to comment.

“Oh, of course. This also goes back to your beliefs.

“Some people believe that if they have too much fun and they’re feeling good for a long period of time, somewhere within them they are waiting for that other shoe to fall…that maybe they don’t deserve to be this happy. It’s what you believe.

“And so, as often as you can stay focused on better-feeling thoughts, the fear or the anger that comes into play that makes many, many people go numb, can be changed easily when you know you are spirit in a physical body…when you know you are truly okay and that your purpose here is to take as much love as you can–with better-feeling thoughts—and bring it into the physical world. Is that understood?”

I replied that I thought I understood for myself, but I was also trying to understand how we can present this information so it’s understandable for our blog readers (and listeners when audio is included).

Cynthia’s Question about Helping Other People

At this point in the session The Council offered a relatively lengthy comment related to better-feeling thoughts, which I initially found confusing .

“Let us include in this [session], a question that Cynthia has been asking us. It is constantly on her mind.

“Now what we see that many people are learning right now (and there will be a change in this again) [is] that you are here to make yourself happy…that you want to have a good time…and you want to experience all the good things you want to manifest–and the better-feeling thoughts will bring you there.

“And the conscious thought goes to one’s self…constantly on yourself.

“Now we (and we do say we) who come into the physical world did not plan while you were in the spirit world to come into the physical and just go along and have a good time by yourself.

“You planned to interact with people. You planned there would be challenges and there would be good stuff. And somehow through everything, you would take the love that you are so familiar with from spirit, and bring it into the physical.

“Now there are many challenges that come up, and people don’t know how they’re going to handle it. How is it going to work out?

“When you concentrate on your better-feeling thought, whatever—and we can promise you this–whatever it is that is going on that is challenging or upsetting must change. Your vibration changes and therefore what you begin to create must change.

“You are here to help one another. It is not where you are here only to help yourself. It is very important to understand that. When you help another, of course you are helping them expand, but you are also helping yourself expand.

“If someone is hurting, you do not walk away and let them figure it out themselves, or think: ‘Well they created this…let them find their answer.’ That is not what we planned when we are in the spirit. We come in here saying: ‘If you are facing something and I know a way to help you through it, I will offer that to you…I will show you kindness…I will show you love. You will allow it or you will not allow it.’

“But we are never, never in our planning to come into the physical…to walk away and leave someone alone, or not offer help or guidance or caring; because we are all trying to bring the love, the joy from spirit into the physical world, so eventually your planet…your reality…will change, and there will be more love and less sickness and less wars.

“Is that understood? You are not here to concentrate only on yourself.

“And yes, you want to make yourself feel good. You want to do things that–with your thoughts–make you feel better. But every time you offer help to someone else–and you’ve planned this before you come in–you now are doing what you wanted, and you will both expand.

“Is that understood?”

Is That Understood?

“Not so much,” I replied. I felt confused by what The Council is saying here; not because it didn’t make sense, but because it seemed to contradict our understanding of the Abraham teachings, which have also been a strong influence on our beliefs about who we are as spiritual beings in a physical body.

Our understanding of Abraham’s guidance is fairly well summarized by The Council in the second and third paragraph of the quotation above. The focus of these teachings appears to be much more on oneself and less on others. Here are two examples:

Abraham’s Elevator Speech

In 2007 the Abraham-Hicks organization uploaded a 5-minute YouTube video of a workshop segment where someone asked Abraham for an ‘elevator speech’ that explained in one or two sentences–short enough for a brief elevator ride–what the workshop was about. Abraham suggested people say: “This is an environment where I selfishly devour the beauty of life. Then they added: “Now that’s the right answer, but there are a few things wrong with that answer.” And they explain how the word ‘selfish’ may put some people off, and maybe softer words will be better received.

Abraham Workshop – April 2012

In their closing words at a Houston, Texas workshop in April 2012, Abraham said:

“Sometimes you feel like: ‘Well it has to be more than that. It has to be more than my personal satisfaction. I need to do something that is more meaningful, something that will help more people.’

“And we say there is nothing more meaningful and nothing that will help more people than you understanding your own personal basis of vibration and tending to it deliberately, so that you can demonstrate with ease, and grace, and consistency, the goodness of your life and the goodness of your world, to which everyone you know also has access.”

In this more recent quotation, Abraham seems to be saying that since everyone has access to the goodness of life and the goodness of the world, we can do nothing more helpful for others than understand and take care of our own personal vibration. Compared to The Council’s guidance that we are not only here to concentrate on ourselves, the difference seems noteworthy.

How Do We Know What Helps Another Person?

As if it wasn’t confusing enough that The Council was giving us guidance that seemed to contradict Abraham’s teachings, this guidance also seemed to contradict their own guidance from a session less than 3 weeks earlier (on questions from Joe about difficulties with his children).

Bob:     “It’s easy to get the impression you don’t want people to think so much about themselves; you want them to think about other people. But in a session, [or] two sessions ago, it sounds like you’re saying there are circumstances where the opposite is equally important.”

In the earlier session, The Council explained how it was out of love for Joe that his children acted disrespectful to him. The Council also explained that Joe and his children agreed as spiritual beings that the children should do something like this if Joe wasn’t learning to feel love for himself, because their disrespectful behavior would inspire Joe to find the love for himself he wanted to experience in this lifetime.

Bob:     “So how do you tell, as a human being, whether somebody’s behavior is loving and helpful?”

“What we are trying to stress here–no matter [what] the examples are—what we are trying to stress [is] that you are not here just for you to only concentrate on yourselves. We are also here to bring in the love for ourselves, but [also] for the other spirits that we have called in to [be] actors (so to speak) in our lives.

“We–in every situation–want to take the love from spirit and bring it into the physical.”

This didn’t answer my question about how to tell if seemingly uncaring behavior is really caring, and vice versa, but The Council’s persistence with this guidance got me thinking it might be a good idea to be more open to it. But that didn’t stop me from more or less debating with The Council the legitimacy of this guidance for the next 12 minutes of the session.

At one point I reminded them how they repeatedly discouraged Joe from making an effort to improve things with his children until he made things better about himself. At the time, this seemed like advice against helping others. The Council replied:

“And so is it not possible to work on feeling better and bringing love to yourself…and also showing it to others?”

Offer and Allow

A turning point in the session occurred when The Council commented:

“When you are the type of person that wants to help someone, you usually find yourself drawing in many people that need help. And so (of course) lovingly you offer what you can.

“You can offer and bang your head on the wall, and get upset if the person doesn’t follow what you are offering. Or you can offer and – here’s our famous word – allow them to respond to whatever challenge they are going through, in their own way.

“But in your offering…in your caring…in your wanting to help, you are sending out the positive vibration of love. Now allow this other spirit to do with it what it needs to do with it, and let go and not bang your head on the wall, or get upset, or bring it into your own life.

“It is the offering the vibration of love…the wanting to help, and then knowing you are a spirit in a physical body…and this other person (or these other people) are also spirits in a physical body; you offer and allow them to take it in whatever direction they want to take it.

Freddy’s Situation

Speaking of banging one’s head against a wall, we were almost 40 minutes into the session and I felt like I was banging my head against a wall trying to appreciate this new guidance. It occurred to me I was in need of a better-feeling thought. Then it occurred to me if The Council is right about helping others, I should feel better if I think about helping someone.

I wondered for a second who to think about helping and it occurred to me we were doing this session to help Freddy answer questions about better-feeling thoughts.

Bob:     “It seems like we’re getting a little far off Freddy’s question about better-feeling thoughts and how they can change [a] life.”

“And so from day-to-day, as many times as you can, have a better-feeling thought and feelings of appreciation, [and] your emotions must change. When that changes, your vibration changes; your life, your surroundings, the people you interact with must change. You must see a change in your life.”

Bob:    “Can you tune into Freddy’s situation and give him some guidance as to what might be better-feeling thoughts for him?”

Health Conditions

“Yes. We see here he has had health conditions…health challenges going on. He has changed the physical reports that were given to him, [in] that they are quite different and much more positive.

“We see that Freddy–with his thoughts of healing–is seeing the results of his thoughts, which is excellent!

Can This Process Create Lasting Change?

“Now there is the deep belief…the problem…the fear that he is dealing with that comes out [like this]: ‘Is this [change] going to be permanent? Is this [process] going to work? I see it working. Is it true it can change your life, day-to-day?’

“And even though he is seeing the changes beginning, we want to urge him to keep having these positive visualizations…these feelings of healing and all is well. And he will continue to experience this, and this whole health situation will change. And so that is why he has asked this question.

“And yes, the positive thoughts will change your day-to-day life.”

Bob:     “So it sounds like you’re saying that Freddy is already experiencing some benefits; he’s already practicing trying to think better-feeling thoughts…”

Take a Good Look, Freddy

[Laughing] “Yes, and he just wants to make sure: Does this really work? [Sill laughing] And yet we want to tell him: Take a good look, Freddy. You see that it is working.”

Bob:     “So he’s not sure that his better-feeling is the result of his better-feeling thoughts. It sounds like maybe he’s thinking that it’s just a coincidence that he’s feeling better and maybe it doesn’t have that much to do with his better-feeling thoughts.”


Bob:     “And he’s looking for some reassurance that there is a relationship, and that he can continue to feel better if he thinks better-feeling thoughts.

We See You Walking

“And we would like to say to Freddy: We see here, as your thoughts go out as they are now, that you will get back to quite a normal life. And we do see you walking.”

Bob:     “So he’s having trouble getting around on his legs and feet?”


Bob:     “And if he continues with the better-feeling thoughts…

“Yes. It is only the fear and the doubt that is sort of creeping in–and this is part of human reality. But we do want to encourage him…encourage him to look at what he has already manifested, and he can continue to manifest, and make better and better.”

Bringing These New Thoughts to Family and Friends

Bob:     “Any comments on Freddy’s intention as a spiritual being in the choice of the physical challenges that he has experienced…?”

“Yes. He did want to create this accident because he did want to turn it all around, and help the people that are in his life see the power of this new thought. And as they see him progress and get better, they will (as they already are doing) wonder about these positive thoughts.

“And so it was his way to not only experience this and change it for himself, but to bring that new thought into many of his family’s and friends’ reality. And so it was love for himself and all these other souls to expand and learn more about who they truly are, and the benefits of thinking better-feeling thoughts.

“And Freddy, you are doing a wonderful job.”

An Example of Hope to Many

Bob:     “So Freddy experienced something that many people would call an accident and as a result of this experience that he had, he’s found it difficult to get around on his legs…”

“Yes. His reports were that he wasn’t going to walk.”

Bob:     “Oh, he actually had doctors tell him that he would never walk again?


Bob:     “And so he was interested, as a spiritual being, in having an experience like this so that he could bring the love of who he is as a spiritual being into his physical experience…to experience the expansion of turning the physical challenge around…being able to walk…and to be an example for…”

“…an example of hope also…to many…”

Bob:     “…that thinking better-feeling thoughts [and] connecting with who he is as a spiritual being can make the kind of difference in physical experience that experts like doctors often do not believe is possible?”


Many Need This Information

“And so there are many that need this information. And this question was one that Freddy not only needed to see the answer that will be coming forth, but [the] many others this will be shared with.”

“And so once again, when you work on yourself and bring that love in…and that belief is so strong that you can change what you are going through and you find a way–and with Freddy it was finding out how to have better-feeling thoughts–you not only have found the answer for yourself, but for many others. And now it will be shared.”

Teaching the Power of the Mind

After we received this information for Freddy, I took a few minutes to talk to The Council about something they said in the session on Joe’s questions that I wasn’t clear about. At the end of this discussion they closed the session, but as I was about to turn off the recording equipment, The Council offered the comment for Freddy as sort of an afterthought:

“One of the things Freddy was going to do was to teach people the power of the mind.”

Try a Better-Feeling Thought About Helping Others

During the session when I was feeling confused, almost out of desperation I decided to experiment with the advice The Council was giving, and I wondered how I might be helpful to someone. Almost immediately an answer came to me and I noticed a rise in my vibration–I started to feel better. Just after that we received some very good-feeling information about Freddy.

Maybe I was just lucky. Maybe the good-feeling end result was unrelated to my thought to try and be helpful to someone. What happened seems too new to draw a definite conclusion, but the experience has inspired us to be more open to what The Council is suggesting.

If you feel the least bit curious about this guidance to look for better-feeling thoughts about being helpful to others, we encourage you to experiment with it. We’d love to hear about the kind of experiences you notice as a result.

Thank You, Freddy

Thank you, Freddy, for your questions and your interest in The Council’s answers. In our session with The Council to answer your questions, it feels like they introduced us to important new guidance that has the potential to help us experience new levels of better-feeling vibrational expansion.

Let Us Know What You Think

We hope you’ve benefited from the information in this post. We’d love to know what you think of this material. Please consider leaving a comment in the Leave a Reply section below. If you have any questions for The Council about ideas mentioned in this post or other posts, the Leave a Reply section at the bottom of any post is a good place to submit your questions. We will be notified by email and reply as soon as we have time.

July 3, 2012 - Posted by | Abraham-Hicks, Audio Content, Connecting With Spirit, Feelings, Helping Others, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Vibration | , , , , , , , ,


  1. Hi, Howard. It’s been a while since you asked your question about karma, but we finally got around to asking The Council about it and here are some highlights from that session:

    1. Souls sometimes choose to repeat or re-do life experiences. And you sometimes choose to repeat these experiences with souls you know from other lifetimes.
    2. If you choose to repeat a certain life experience, it is because you see how you handled this experience in one or more lifetimes and you want to do it better in a new lifetime.
    3. It is never a duty or a punishment to come back and fix or correct something you’ve done in another lifetime.
    4. It is always the choice of the soul to come back and redo a life experience. Or there can be the choice to completely let go of previous life experiences and move on to different experiences.
    5. The underlying reason for choosing to re-do a previous life experience is the desire to bring more love into that experience in a new lifetime.
    6. What you need to know about the uncle/father is not why or what happened, but that is always the soul’s choice whether to have the experience again.
    7. The uncle, who was the father from another lifetime, chose to come in with a familiar soul so both could have an opportunity to see what could be created.

    Thank you for this question, Howard. We hope this gives you some answers that are helpful. If you haven’t read our post on karma, What is Karma and How Does it Work? you may also find this helpful.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | May 17, 2014

  2. Hi Howard,
    Thank you for your question about karma. If you haven’t read our post, What is Karma and How Does it Work? published 8-15-2010, we suggest you take a look. That post was in response to a question about karma that was very similar to your question.

    Regarding whether your friend’s ‘nasty’ uncle in this lifetime was the ‘nasty’ father from another lifetime, we suspect The Council would say that the more attention your friend gives to anyone’s nastiness in any lifetime, the more likely your friend is to continue to experience nastiness in this lifetime. A more productive question might be: How can these experiences of nasty people inspire me to focus my attention on better-feeling thoughts that will attract people into my life that I feel better about?

    After reading our earlier post on karma, let us know if you still have questions and we’ll do our best to answer them.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | July 21, 2012

  3. Dear Council,
    I’ve always wondered about Karma and whether we souls truly come back to re-do events because of the karma we incurred in a previous life (or in the current life, for that matter). Recently, I was talking with a friend about our ‘soul group(s)’ and my friend wondered if his current uncle (who has since died but was a nasty person in this life) who had been his (nasty) father in a past life (a life he saw when he went to a regression conference) was simply reaping karma not yet finished from a past life or if he was still trying to relearn a lesson from a past life. It made us both wonder about karma and how it works and about lessons and how they repeat (or if we choose to repeat them).
    Look forward to hearing your take on it!


    Comment by Anonymous | July 20, 2012

  4. Hi Beth,
    Thank you for your questions. We expect The Council’s point of view on the situation you describe will benefit many people with similar feelings.

    Regarding your comment that you “often feel sad wondering how those two Souls…feel/felt that I chose to terminate their little lives,” there are a few things The Council frequently reminds us that may help you feel a little better about your situation.

    1. All souls choose for themselves. It may feel to you like you like the souls you speak of had no choice in the termination of your pregnancies, but we are confident The Council would remind you the other souls were equally involved in the choice to experience what they experienced.
    2. Your reference to “their little lives” doesn’t seem to take into consideration these souls are eternal spiritual beings. ‘Little’ may be how it appears from a human perspective sometimes, but The Council says we all are spiritual beings capable of a more spiritual perspective.
    3. The Council frequently points out that all souls in spirit feel only feel love, joy, and similar pleasurable feelings. If The Council is to be believed, then perhaps you don’t need to feel sad wondering how the souls feel/felt. They feel love for you and all other souls.

    We will do what we can to shed some light on the nature of your spiritual relationship with the souls in question. Please be patient. We are working on several posts and it may take several weeks before a post on your questions is ready to be published. Thanks again for your questions.


    Comment by Cynthia & Bob | July 13, 2012

  5. Hello Council,
    I have a question about abortions as it relates to the Soul and the Soul’s agreement…the Soul of the child, specifically. You see I have unfortunately had to make the decision (twice) in my life to terminate what I perceived as ‘untimely’ pregnancies. I have a lot of guilt around these decisions, not because of any religious reasons, but more because I am not sure what I did was the right decision for my life’s path. Also, I often feel sad wondereing how those two Souls (or maybe it was the same Soul) feel/felt that I chose to terminate their little lives. I fully believe that those Souls made some type of agreement with me, but I’m wondering if you could shed light on what those agreements may have been. Did those little Souls know that they would play this role? Is it the same Soul trying to come back in? Would I be able to find out more about them, and who they might have become had I chosen differently? If we come back in similar Soul groups, could this Soul have been one that I also lost in a previous life (I believe I was pregnant when drowned)
    i realize that these are many questions, not one, but I am grateful for your input.


    Comment by Anonymous | July 11, 2012

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