Insights into a Relationship
This post is inspired by a reader named Diana who asks The Council for insight into her 6 month old relationship with her male partner. She’s 42 years old and wants to settle down, but she’s torn about whether to continue this relationship. On one hand they have a deep connection and compatibility on many levels. On the other hand Diana finds her partner’s struggle to cope with the daily practicalities of life quite unsettling. The thought of ending this relationship feels almost unbearable, but she feels stuck with moving forward in the relationship.
The Council suggests Diana look at all the things to be grateful for with her partner. The relationship is not enough for her because she focuses on his shortcomings. Start focusing on things in the relationship that bring her joy.
As Diana begins to appreciate this relationship, The Council asks her to look at what she’s doing to help her partner. Relationships come together as an opportunity to show love to each other, show each other how to grow, and how to transform their challenges. When Diana feels her partner isn’t making good life choices, rather than blame him she can speak with him about other choices and gently show him the way. The Council sees that over time the circumstances of this relationship can improve.
The Council recommends if Diane doesn’t want to move forward with marriage or living together, move forward on how she views these activities and with the thought of helping her partner. If she can take these steps, the relationship will become more of what she wants.
The Council says looking for her partner to improve to make her feel better is not the answer. As Diana begins to appreciate this relationship and sees her partner change, there will be a softening within her and she will allow herself to see what she wants to change within herself.
The Council feels that while the choice to leave this relationship is always Diana’s, they see at this time there is no reason to leave. There is a lot that can be changed and much more that can be appreciated about each other that will help the relationship grow and become more of what she desires.
Listen to our entire 8-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all the guidance for Diana and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.
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