Why Don’t I Have a Best Friend or a Partner?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Diana, who says she’s struggled with deep loneliness most of her life. I have good friends, but I’ve always craved a best friend who’s always there and I can trust 100% for support. I’m 46 years old and single, and I’d also love to have a partner or a husband. Is there something I’m doing wrong?

The Council suggests instead of focusing on not having a best friend, look at your situation differently. If you have many friends, they can all be a best friend. There’s always something in each person that will make you feel close to them. You’re lucky to have many friends. If you had one best friend and they moved away, you’d have nothing.

Be grateful you have these best friends. The more you can focus on being grateful you have them, one of them will become the way you want a best friend to be. Or you’ll meet someone new and you’ll bring this person in and they’ll act the way you want a best friend to be. Be more grateful for the friends you have. The more grateful you feel, the more you’ll be able to bring your life closer to the way you want it to be. By focusing on not having a best friend you’re attracting more of not having a best friend into your life.

Diana says, I’ve been attracting the wrong people. What can I do to change this? The Council says to appreciate your friends. They’re not the wrong people. They are spirits that have come into your life to teach you to learn about each one of them, and to teach you to be grateful and feel happiness they’re in your life. When you do that it forces you to grow. It allows you to bring people in your life or new people to a point where you can allow closeness. This is with friends, people at work, and with a relationship.

If you can’t be grateful for the friends you have, you’ll never bring in the right partner because you’re searching. You’re searching for a best friend. You’re searching for closeness. And this searching prevents closeness from coming. When you’re satisfied and grateful for what you have, your friends become closer and the partner you want will appear. It’s all from your gratitude.

Diana asks, Will I find my tribe and husband one day. The Council says it’s all there for you. Change your thinking and it will happen. She asks, Should I move locations and start a new life, or is that just escaping my issues? The Council says your issues will follow you wherever you go. If there’s somewhere you’d genuinely like to move to and have a new start, that would be fine. But if your thinking doesn’t change, if you’re not grateful for what you have, what you want won’t come to you because you’re resisting it with your thoughts and you’ll stay searching.

Diana closes by saying the loneliness is really affecting my mental health and I’d be grateful for your advice. The Council says don’t focus on your loneliness even though you’re feeling lonely. Begin changing your thoughts. Get excited about new friendships and a new partner in your life. Imagine how it will be in every way you can and in every detail. Keep thinking these thoughts and everything will change.

Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Diana and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question by typing it in a Comment box that appears at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

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