Does a Past Life Explain Why I Can’t Make Friends?
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who’s 22 years old and says, Since I was small I never seemed to have any solid friends or long-term friendships. They always seem to end in either dramatic ways or simply letting each other go one day and never speaking again.
The Council says they see a particular past life where a similar situation was experienced because Anonymous never behaved how you truly felt. You behaved as if you were being of service. There was no true friendship. You tried to make and keep friends by serving and doing everything for these people. You changed your personality and were the way you thought these people expected you to be.
In your current life it’s quite different. What you’re doing in this life isn’t serving as much as being of service to these other people. What you’re experiencing and what you planned to do was to be in communication and in a relationship with these different people, but to be in a way that would annoy them and have them find fault with you and pull away.
What you volunteered to do was to teach these people how to respond to others who aren’t exactly the way they want these people to be. In your current life you offered to help others, to be of service again, but just by being yourself and to have traits that these other people weren’t interested in.
What you set up was, at a very early age to somehow feel that you weren’t worthy to have friends. You set this up at an early age so that as you grew, you created relationships where you didn’t feel wanted and you experienced this by family and other people pulling away.
As you move forward, what needs to be done for you to change this pattern is to be who you truly are, but take the focus off yourself and show true interest in other people. Ask other people about themselves. Listen to what they have to say. When you show interest in others, that energy will come back to you and you’ll find others who now want to be with you and be interested in who you are.
This was a big challenge you set up. All these people that dropped out of your life, how they handle it and how they learn from it is a lesson for them. It’s not your concern how they learn from this situation. You did your part by trying to teach these people to be different, to accept how they were, and to see you for who you really are. It was you helping many souls.
Anonymous says, I always wracked my brain why I can’t make friends because most of the time, especially since I was around 16 years old, I’ve tried my hardest to be a good friend and fit in. The Council says don’t try to fit in. Be yourself and focus attention on truly learning and being interested in other people.
Anonymous says, In high school I thought once I got to college where I could be with a new group of people and have space away from my parents, I’d surely be able to make tons of friends. But the same cycle continued and now I’m about to graduate. Currently I feel I have two true friends, my fiancé and my mother. I’ve also always butted heads with family members and in certain periods of my life I didn’t speak to one or both of my parents. I’m aware that when I was little my parents would sometimes say tell me I was unlikeable, but my current situation seems bigger than just a self-fulfilling prophecy. It feels like this is something I’m meant to overcome as part of my life purpose, but for a reason I don’t understand. Do I have a past life that could help explain why I feel, at the root of my soul, like an unlikeable outcast?
The Council asks you to connect the past life they mentioned earlier in the session to now. Decide you’ve done enough from that past life and you wish to have a new path in your current life where you truly appreciate yourself, don’t try to fit in, and be your true self. When you do, you’ll bring into your life the kind of people that are also able to appreciate you. Fitting in is what you did in this past life.
When you act one way because a person likes you that way, and another person likes you another way so you behave in that way, you are not being yourself. You’re being who you think these other people want you to be. Be yourself. Be kind. Be compassionate. Focus on positive thoughts. Be interested in what people are doing. Share your stories and you’ll see a difference.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Bob & Cynthia
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Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
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As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
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Ask The Council 
Thanks for your kind and sympathetic comment, Phindezwa. Continue being true to yourself. Love and light, Bob & Cynthia
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Hello Anonymous. I just wanted to say that I’m 38 and I may not know exactly what you are going through but part of me completely understands the difficulty of forming genuine friendships, the desire for them and the inclination to try and morph yourself to form connections. I admire you for recognizing this early in your life. It’s taken me a while and I crave those kinds of connections intensely and only now am I learning the necessity of being true to oneself. Wishing you will wonderful relationships going forward!
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