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A Broken Sacred Contract and How to Move On

This post is inspired by a question for The Council from Chris who asks how to move on when someone she feels she was meant to spend her life with broke a sacred contract by leaving. She also asks if it’s possible to find another partner under the circumstances.

Sacred Contracts

The Council observes that souls frequently agree to come into physical bodies during the same lifetime and help each other in their physical lives, but the Council isn’t inclined to understand these agreements as binding sacred contracts, as implied by Chris’s question. The Council believes the idea of an unchangeable binding sacred contract goes against one of the most important principles in all of creation: the free will that all humans, all souls, all spirit is given by our creator to choose, in any moment, from an infinite variety of possibilities. The Council’s idea of a sacred contract is the agreement each soul makes to unconditionally love the part of itself that comes to experience life in a physical body.

Remembering the Love

In the case of the person who didn’t stay with Chris, The Council sees this person as agreeing to help her remember the love she truly is – the love we all are and we all come from as spirit. Chris’s strong desire to be reminded of this love is what attracted this person to her, but The Council observes this person has a strong desire to live as a free spirit in this lifetime and Chris has the ability to attract a more desirable long-term partner. This is the answer to Chris’s second question about finding another partner.

Practice the Feelings You Desire

Chris’s question about how to move on with life when we feel almost hopelessly stuck, is a question that many are likely to ask at some point in our lives. In order to move on from stuckness to something more desirable, The Council advises us to practice feeling the feelings of what we desire. In Chris’s case, if she desires a partner, Chris should practice feeling the way she’d like to feel when she has the partner she desires.

We Create Our Reality With Our Feelings

If this seems a little confusing, it’s probably because most of us are used to waiting until something occurs in physical reality before we pay much attention to our feelings about it – if we pay attention to our feelings at all. The Council assures us we create our reality with our feelings, and when we practice feeling what we desire rather than what troubles us, we’ll experience more of what we desire in our lives.

Appreciating Unpleasant Feelings

This doesn’t mean we need to criticize ourselves when we have unpleasant feelings. The Council suggests we think of unpleasant feelings as helpful reminders we’re not allowing ourselves to feel the unconditional love our spirit continually offers us. Rather than continuing to focus on an unpleasant feeling, The Council suggests we use the unpleasant feeling to help us determine how we prefer to feel and then begin practicing the preferred feeling.

If we’re used to paying more attention to uncomfortable feelings than comfortable ones, it can be a challenge to change this habit. Appreciating uncomfortable feelings because they help us get in touch with more desirable feelings can help us with the transition to feeling more desirable feelings and experiencing a more desirable life.

Find a Good Feeling Memory

The Council understands that when we feel really stuck, it can seem impossible to imagine anything other than being stuck and feeling stuck. If this happens, The Council suggests looking for a good feeling memory and practicing that – something you’ve experienced in your past that will put a smile on your face, make you laugh, or just help you feel a little bit better. Trust your spirit and intuition to guide you to one or more better-feeling feelings.

Feeling Better in the Present

Notice how remembering something that feels good makes it easier to remember other things that feel good. In Chris’s case she might remember something about the person that left her that made her feel good in the past. If thinking about this person is too unpleasant, she can look for any memory of a time where she felt good about being with someone. As we let ourselves focus attention on good feeling experiences we’ve had in the past, we can experience feeling better in the present.

Feeling Good about Something in the Future

The more we’re able to feel good feelings in the present, the easier it becomes to practice feeling these good feelings about something we desire in our future. This is what The Council promises us will bring what we desire. Remembering one or more good feelings from our past, allowing ourselves to feel these good feelings in the present, and then letting ourselves begin to feel these feelings about what we desire in our future is The Council’s advice for moving on when we feel stuck.

Reminder

If you have any questions about the information in this post or our other posts, please feel free to ask a question in the Comment section at the bottom of the post. We’ll do our best to answer in a comment or a separate post. Also feel free to ask The Council an unrelated question if you have one. We’ll do our best to respond.

July 11, 2010 - Posted by | Karma, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , , , , , , , ,

14 Comments »

  1. Hello,
    My partner of 9 years abruptly broke up with me (it was the second time). I felt a very strong connection with this person but it was also a very painful relationship. He previously broke up with me immediately following my mom’s death and more recently broke up with me following another stressful time. I feel like he was constantly pulling me in and pushing me away and I will admit, I withstood a lot of heartache to be with this person. Prior to our breakup a month ago he told me he was “all in” and professed his desire to create a family and a home together. Then, just like that… he was gone. Please, please advise.

    Comment by kips | June 1, 2016 | Reply

    • Hi, Kips. We’ll be glad to ask The Council about your relationship with your ex-boyfriend. When the session is ready, we’ll post it. In the meantime, try to focus on things you like about yourself. Bob & Cynthia

      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | June 1, 2016 | Reply

      • Thank you, I appreciate that immensely. I would like to add that I lost both of my parents when I was in my twenties. I am in my early thirties now and am finding this is the next big loss. I’m wondering if there is light ahead. I would like to experience love with a partner and to build a family. With gratitude…

        Comment by wildgrown | June 1, 2016 | Reply

  2. Hello, my soulmate broke up with me almost a year ago. During this time we continued in touch, but two months ago he decided to move on with a new relationship and stopped talking with me. From this moment to now I feel pretty lost, heart broken, hopeless and stuck. Please help me because I know we will be together again in this life, but I only want a life with him as my husband. Am I crazy? Please help me.

    Comment by maria hoyos | September 17, 2015 | Reply

    • Hi, Maria. We’ll ask The Council as soon as we can about your relationship with this man and whether he will be your husband. In the meantime, try to focus on what you have learned from being with him. We’ll post The Council’s answer.

      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | September 18, 2015 | Reply

    • Dear Maria,
      I understand your anguish. Before coming to earth we make agreements with other souls to learn certain lessons. It looks really good up there! But when we come here we start using our free will and we can go far away from where we thought we would be.

      Maria, the only true contract is with yourself. To be happy and to be with someone who reciprocates your love!! Good news, everyone has a soul!! And you can have a beautiful deep connection with someone else, if you allow it. It will take time to deconstruct your idea that he’s the only one you want to marry, because love not reciprocated is not love, it’s fear if being alone.

      This is the time to look at who YOU are because who you are is beautiful. Take time to look at how you enter relationships and who you truly see as a husband. Take time to heal but don’t stay thinking he is the only one because he is not, unless you decide he is and stay stuck and alone.

      Use your free will to say, “Hey wait a minute. I know there is a soul connection but is it love or a connection of souls?” Love feels amazing!! Love would not go away!! That’s your hint :). Start to let go. I know this is hard but until you do, your Heart will be closed to experience true love.

      (Note: This post was edited by Bob & Cynthia prior to posting.)

      Comment by natashaiszler | September 18, 2015 | Reply

  3. I have suffered for the last 20 years regarding a soul contract with my soulmate that is repeatedly broken by him. I seek to release this suffering which is extreme. We both recognize our connection, but he has chosen to fear it. He creates relationships instead with women he does not “feel” with, believing he can control that. Ultimately, they end up controlling him. He is drained, emotionally and otherwise by them and then eventually leaves. He stays wasting time out of a sense of duty, but seemingly finds no duty with me, because I guess he feels I will always be there. I want out. His dance has killed me inwardly, and I doubt that I will ever truly feel love again, although I’d like to. I have no interest in anyone I meet, despite them being interesting. I want to forget I ever met him. What can I do to release this? Please help. It has monopolized so much of my life and kept me in stagnation. Help.

    Comment by Anonymous | October 11, 2014 | Reply

  4. I feel there is more to say here…when a soul breaks an agreement is very painful for the soul who stayed on track, the soul might even consider exiting the experience on earth because there was something important to do with this specific soul. What needs to happen next is very hard work because there is a revision of the contract and the soul needs to adjust to it here on earth while living. There needs to be a rewritting of beliefs, in order to move on you MUST believe this person is not your soulmate, it is in the spirit world but not here. The personality here is not the intended to be, the soul couldnt do it, something happened to them, whatever the reason they are just NOT who they planned to be. If you accept that you wont see them as soulmates anymore. The challenge is to recognize that the feelings of a soulmate encounter come from the souls need to fullfill the contract, not real feelings from this lifetime, feelings here develop with time, comparing this slower development with the one of a soulmate is painful and frustrating. The truth is we cant live in fantasy, in a future that eludes us. There are souls who come with no agreements at all and that doesnt mean they wont find love. To move accept the soul is not who he or she planned to be, be compassionated because breaking an agreement is painful for the soul, is a loss on their part and they will see that when they return to the spirit world. If they are not who they inteded to be they are not your soulmate and therefore there is no agreement. you can attract a loving partner who is truly who he/she is meant to be. There wont be the crazy attraction you think is love because there is no rush other than experiencing love, because the desire is a lifepartnership not a lesson, what matters is who we are here and nothing else. Dont give them away your power to have an amazing life.

    Comment by Natasha | September 12, 2013 | Reply

    • Thanks for your heartfelt comments, Natasha.

      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | September 13, 2013 | Reply

  5. Hello, I am in a similar situation. I feel a soul agreement I had with someone has been broken on his end. I am wondering why. This is the most painful experience of my life. And it is the second time it has happened with the same individual. Any help would be greatly appreciated. In my case, he did not leave like he did the first time. He led me to believe we would finally be together, only to pull away. I made the decision to cut him from my life. I had to. Now I am just wondering why he feels the way he does when things were so perfect, both of us never having had such strong feelings for another before. 😦 Heartbroken.

    Comment by Tanya | March 19, 2013 | Reply

    • Dear Heartbroken,
      Your description of your situation does sound a lot like Chris’s. We hope some of the guidance in this post has been helpful. When we can we’ll ask The Council about your specific situation and see if they have some specific guidance for you concerning this relationship.

      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | March 19, 2013 | Reply

      • Thank you very kindly. I feel I was directed to your website for guidance, indeed. Many blessings, and I hope to hear back from you. Tanya

        Comment by Tanya | March 20, 2013 | Reply

  6. Hello, I am dealing with an issue relating to a twin soul that has to do with the notion of contracts in this post. Is there a way to ask privately about this.

    Comment by JaneDoe | September 18, 2010 | Reply

    • Hi Jane,
      We’ve set up a Contact Us page on the blog for readers interested in paying for a private session with The Council, Cynthia, and me. Sessions are 30 or 60 minutes. Rates are posted on the Contact Us page, which has a link on the navigation bar at the top of each blog page. If you’d rather not to pay for a private session, we encourage you to post a question in a Comment box regarding your twin soul issue and we’ll do our best to post an answer from The Council, free of charge, on this blog as soon as we can. We look forward to hearing from you.

      Comment by Cynthia & Bob | September 19, 2010 | Reply


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