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Understanding Your Spiritual Intentions for Your Human Experiences

This post is inspired by a question from Susan, who wants to know why some people (particularly a man she knows) experience childhood abuse or other types of trauma and end up with addictions, unemployed, and homeless; and other people (particularly Susan) move past their childhood trauma and take advantage of opportunities to improve their life.

What humans and spirit consider improvement can be very different

“But what you do not understand here is that your idea of what he needs to improve his life, and what his spirit needs to improve his life, is totally different. Is that understood?”

–The Council
(Text formatted like above throughout the post represents quotations from the session)

This was intriguing and we spent most of the session getting a better understanding of what The Council meant by this. The result was some impressive insights into the relationship between who you are a human being and who you are as a spiritual being. As an added bonus The Council offered some fascinating insights into the subject of multiple realities.

Audio recording

The audio player below (if your browser supports it) contains a recording of the session with The Council to answer Susan’s question. The session is divided into multiple audio tracks listed below the audio player bar. To listen to the entire session select Track #1. The rest of the tracks will automatically play in order. Text above the play bar indicates the track that’s playing (or ready to play if the recording is paused). Copyright ℗ 2014 Bob & Cynthia Dukes

Play: Click triangle (►). Pause: Click icon (||) that replaces the triangle while the recording plays. Fast Forward/Rewind: Click to the right/left of the play bar during play. Mute on/off: Click speaker icon. Volume: Click bar to the right of the speaker icon.

You have no idea what spirit wishes

The Council continued from their previous comment above:

“So if you [Susan] feel that he has had several opportunities to change his life or perhaps somehow deal differently with his abuse, yes that would make sense to many. But you have no idea what his spirit wishes.

“And what we see here is that it is his wish to be in this lifetime and to experience this addiction, to experience the abuse from what you would consider an unhealthy attitude toward what he has come through.

“What you do not know is that he has experienced this before (or as we would say, now [but] in another reality) and he has experienced it where he is dealing differently with his abuse and (perhaps) handling it in (what you would consider) a much better way [in his current reality]. Is that understood?”

The Council re-emphasizes that from a spiritual point of view something very different is going on than what Susan perceives from her human point of view. As improbable as it seems, The Council says it’s actually the spiritual intention of Susan’s acquaintance to experience addiction and what appears to be self abuse rooted in traumatic childhood experiences.

The Council adds that this lifetime isn’t the only lifetime where he chose to have an experience like what Susan describes. And although it may not be apparent to Susan how he is taking advantage of opportunities in his current lifetime, The Council says he is actually living an improved version in his current lifetime.

Throughout the rest of the session The Council explains this seemingly improbable spiritual point of view and the result is a way of thinking about your human experience that’s giving us lots to think about.

The influence of multiple realities

Part of their explanation involves the concept of multiple realities that The Council has discussed in several sessions. If you’re open to the idea of reincarnation and multiple lifetimes, you can think of multiple realities as similar except that from your spiritual point of view all lifetimes occur simultaneously because the dimension of time doesn’t exist in spiritual reality (according to The Council and other spiritual teachers).

From your human point of view it’s often easier to think of your other lifetimes or incarnations as occurring sequentially going back through time. But from your spiritual point of view all your lifetimes are occurring in an eternal and expanding present moment. It’s a little like each lifetime is a different television program broadcast on a different channel (frequency), but they are all being broadcast at the same time.

Different parts of who you are as a spiritual being are in different lifetimes/realities. How you experience yourself in what you think of as your current lifetime is just one of many realities the spiritual part of you is experiencing in the present moment. Throughout the session and particularly in the last part The Council shares several interesting insights into multiple realities and how to understand this concept better. At the end of this post we’ll include links to a few of our other posts that attempt to shed light on this subject.

Appreciating and learning from life’s challenges

“In this particular reality there are many that can learn from what he [Susan’s acquaintance] is going through. And perhaps the way you would show him love is to allow him to live out this particular lifetime in the way he chooses, and that is showing great love. Is that understood?”

“When someone wishes to experience what we would consider [a] negative or a hard life, it is because they want to experience the emotion that goes with this particular situation, and from that emotion much is learned.

“And so when you have a lifetime which is similar and you come through it beautifully and you let go of the abuse, or you carry it (perhaps) for a while and then let go of it and bring love into your life, you are experiencing it in what you would consider a much easier way, a much better way.

“But when you go through it differently, which you would consider negative or hard, there are emotions that that spirit wishes to experience because he is already setting up another life (you would consider a future life) where he would live that particular life knowing what it would be like to be in an abusive situation and to not be able to conquer it, not be able to deal with it… to perhaps scrape the bottom of the barrel. Because in that future life when (perhaps) he wishes to meet someone that is experiencing that [difficulty or abuse], he would understand and help them through it.”

“And so you do not understand the full reasons why his spirit chooses this. And so most of us do not know why the people around us choose what they choose to go through.

“Some are very lucky and have wonderful, easy lives. And others have very hard lives. Maybe they have dealt with this before and moved through it beautifully. Now they would like to see how it is when it’s difficult and how to try and change that difficulty, or perhaps experience it and take that emotion into their expansion into another reality so they can help others that are in that same situation.”

You are living in more realities than you are aware from your human point of view

It’s been an ongoing challenge to understand what The Council means when they say that who you are as a spiritual being sometimes chooses human experiences that feel unwanted and even painful from your human point of view. It’s been easier to think of spirit as choosing only loving, good feeling human experiences. And when your human experience seems less than loving it’s been easier to imagine the cause or source of these difficulties is something worldly, not spiritual.

But the Council emphasizes that from a spiritual point of view there are benefits to experiencing difficult human experiences, even if it’s not apparent from your human point of view what these benefits are.

From your spiritual perspective you’re aware of being in more realities than you perceive from your current human reality, and The Council says your spirit will sometimes want to go through certain experiences in one human reality because you can see how this experience will contribute to your expansion of love in the other realities you are also living.

There are many different ways to bring love into a situation

“Know that planning this and coming into this particular lifetime, and volunteering oneself to go through something that is difficult and to teach others while he is going through that – that is bringing love into the situation. That spirit loves itself and all that will be around him in this lifetime so… that he would happily go through this.

“And so bringing love into a situation can be brought in in many different ways. And the way you would allow some love to come in is to accept (maybe not understand, but accept) this part of his life.

“How he chooses to experience it is the soul’s choice. And in allowing that, you send that spirit love and help them be stronger going through what they go through. Is that understood?”

Allow others to experience the life they are choosing

“When some of you pray for someone that is in a difficult situation, whether you pray for them, whether you send them light, whether you send them love… the intention should be not so much that they change, but they go through it with strength and feel the love. The spirit feels the love and support from you and others around this person. Is that understood?”

“And so many people have that saying that they understand: I cannot change another person, I have to change myself or how I think about this, how I deal with this. And that truly is the answer.

“So the more you send that spirit love, and bless it, and with your thoughts help it to go through whatever it wishes to go through, you expand in that love. That soul feels it, and hears you, and expands from that love to go on its journey.”

The person who aggravates you the most is doing what you (in spirit) asked

“And we laugh because many, many times when you are in spirit and planning with other spirits the lifetime you wish to create, this new reality you wish to experience, many times we say if we are going to play the part of someone mean or difficult we laugh and we say, ‘While we’re down there creating whatever we need to create, don’t forget who I really am’ [as spirit].

“And it is sort of a funny joke here in spirit because we [as humans] do forget who we really are. And the person that aggravates you the most… this was planned. And they are very brave and show much love in being that person for you in your experiences. So that is why we say it is so important to send love, good thoughts, and allow everyone to be who they must be.”

The idea that you plan as a spiritual being with other spirits for them to give you a hard time in your human reality can be difficult to accept. But if you’re open to The Council’s idea that as spirit you choose to go through challenging human situations to expand the love you are in spirit into your human reality, it begins to make more sense that the most aggravating people in your life are doing exactly what you asked them to do.

Each of your lifetimes contributes to other lifetimes

In response to Susan’s comment that she’s always searching for ways to improve her life and better herself emotionally, physically, and spiritually, The Council commented:

“And you do that to use it for the next lifetime, or the newer lifetime you wish to create.”

“And you use it as you move forward and create new lifetimes after lifetimes. Each lifetime will bring you new experiences, new ways of seeing things, new emotions that are felt and new ideas – how to create another lifetime and experience it differently, or the same way but handling it (maybe) a little bit differently, or bringing different family members in.

“Every lifetime you come away with expansion, with so much information, with so much love. And it is from these lifetimes… when you move forward and create new ones… it is from all these (what you consider past) lifetime informations.”

The Council has mentioned in other sessions that you can access talents and abilities you have in other lifetimes you’re experiencing as a spiritual being. But this session is the first we can recall them mentioning the idea you sometimes deliberately plan to go through difficult experiences in one lifetime in anticipation of using what you learn from that in one or more other lifetimes/realities you are experiencing as a spiritual being.

You are here to bring love in

In response to Susan’s question why she isn’t a drug addict or alcoholic living on the street, when it seems like this could have easily happened, The Council said it’s because she planned as a spiritual being to have a different experience. And when Susan asked if she’s really so different from the man she describes because she keeps reaching for a better life, and why this man doesn’t seem to find a way to help himself, The Council answered:

“You have just chosen a different way. And the way he has chosen is a better way…  for him. Is that understood?

“If everyone went through every reality they create and they did not experience what you consider having addictions, having problems… it would be all very, very easy and very, very boring. And so it is always [your] intention to come in not to suffer, but to experience, to learn from it, to grow from it, to create new lifetimes from it. And that is why we are here, to bring the love in, and there are many ways to do this.”

How your spirit views human suffering

I asked The Council about the apparent contradiction between saying it’s not your intention to suffer in your human reality, and saying it’s the spiritual intention of Susan’s acquaintance to experience the life of an out of work, homeless alcoholic.

“If you go to see a movie or you see a play and someone has a horrible disease and they die in the movie, or they’re thrown from a horse and they’re laying on the floor with broken legs… they are play acting, they are not really dying, they are not really there with broken legs. And so in the spirit world when you create these lifetimes that are difficult, you do not think of it as suffering.

“You think of it as, ‘I’m going in to experience this. It is not real, but I want to experience and see the emotions I feel and how do I grow from this? And how does it help the people I invite into this lifetime?’

“So we are never in spirit saying, ‘I’m gonna go in there and really suffer and hurt.’ It is that we are creating lifetimes of illusions to learn from it. And in spirit we know we are all safe, we are all well, and whatever play or movie we create with our lifetimes, when it ends, it ends and we are fine.”

“We always believe, ‘I can handle that.’ Of course for some it is very tough because when you come here you do forget who you are. And that’s why so many of us [in spirit] are here to remind you of who you really are: so that reminding and your remembering will make your lifetimes easier.

I asked if The Council is saying that from the spiritual point of view of Susan’s acquaintance he’s not suffering; he’s experiencing emotions he desires to experience that contribute to his overall spiritual expansion and the spiritual expansion of all that is, including Susan, The Council, Bob and Cynthia, and all other spirits. And The Council reassuringly answered:


And then they suggested we recommend reading a spiritually inspirational little book written for children by Neale Donald Walsh (author of Conversations With God). The title is The Little Soul and the Sun and it cleverly sheds light on this subject of the difference between your spiritual point of view and your human point of view.

Acknowledge your human reality and let spirit determine how you handle it

In response to my comment that it’s easy from a human point of view to think of life’s difficulties as awful and unwanted, The Council replied:

“Do not disallow your human condition, because with this human body and the mind, and what you [as spirit] have set up, [the human condition] is very important.

“But remembering that you are spirit and letting the spirit drive you in your life and how you handle it… that is what we are here to remind you. Because when you remember, when you really begin to remember your challenges, you will handle them much easier, [and] quickly.”

You are the creator of the realities you experience

Susan’s question and The Council’s answer got me thinking about a similar question during a recent group session and a somewhat different answer from The Council. A grandmother asked how she could help her very sick granddaughter heal. The Council advised the grandmother to focus as much as possible on the thought and the feeling of how she wants her granddaughter to feel, and this will help the grandmother experience her granddaughter that way.

But interestingly The Council also said the granddaughter may choose the challenge of continuing to feel ill and having her grandmother worry about her, and each of them will create separate realities, and part of each of them (as spiritual beings) will be in both realities allowing each of them to experience what they desire. This is a fascinating concept and I asked The Council if Susan wants to experience her acquaintance as living a better feeling life, is it just as loving for her to create that reality as an alternative to allowing this man to live what she thinks is an unimproved life.

“Yes, because he will go on with what he wants to experience, and a part of her consciousness that is needed in that lifetime for him, will experience it his way. But if she takes her thoughts and her feelings and begins to see him the way she wants to see him in (what she would call) this particular lifetime, she may be able to change that.

“But what he wants… what he has created… he will still experience. And if she is trying to create a different way of seeing him and how he lives out the rest of his life, he (perhaps) will send off another part of himself so that she can have that experience.

“Sometimes this is very hard to understand, but with time people will begin to understand these different parts of our self, these different realities, and how it is created.”

“And so we ask you to take your time with this. This is quite a bit that we have given you [chuckles]. And to sit with it, and process it, and think about it, and use your imagination… and then the feeling will come and more understanding will come. There is no rush. None of us are going anywhere else.” [laughs]

The Council says if Susan really desires to experience this man as living a better feeling life, by focusing on how she wants to experience him differently it may be possible for her to have that experience in her current reality. And The Council says this won’t interfere with the man living the life he desires because the new reality Susan creates and experiences will be a separate reality from the reality the man continues creating and experiencing – like two separate TV programs, but both are on at the same time and Susan is watching the one she wants to watch and the man is watching the one he wants to watch.

To make this possible The Council says part of who Susan is as a spiritual being continues to allow a part of itself to be in the reality the man desires to experience, and Susan allows him with love to live his life as he intended. And part of who he is as a spiritual being allows with love a part of itself to be in the reality Susan desires so she can have the experience she desires.

You will always create the reality you desire, but…

Based on The Council’s guidance in several sessions that your ability to manifest what you desire in a particular reality depends to a large extent on whether your human desire is in harmony with your spiritual desires and intentions for the reality you are living, I speculated out loud that Susan’s ability to experience this man living a better feeling reality depends a lot on the intentions of the spiritual part of her. and The Council responded:

“You will always be able to create what you want. You may not experience it in this particular lifetime. And yet you will create another reality where you are experiencing it. But this particular consciousness [that you experience as your current human lifetime]… this particular part of you will not experience it.”

Similar to the way The Council said at the beginning of this session that Susan has no idea what this man’s spirit is intending to accomplish by living the life he’s living, it sounds like they’re also saying you are always creating the realities you desire to experience, but you’re not necessarily aware of them as you go through the reality you experience as your current lifetime.

I asked what determines our experience in the reality we are primarily aware of.

“What you have planned for coming in.”

“It could be that you [Susan’s spirit] want to experience this reality with her friend who never gets over his addiction, and she will go through this reality with that experience. And when you transition and come back to spirit you say, [enthusiastically] ‘This is wonderful. I did it exactly the way I wanted.’

“But along the way, because you have free choice and you wonder, ‘I wish it could be different,’ and you feel it, and you picture it, and you want him to be better. You will also experience that. You will create that reality, but in this particular one you will not know it.”

Bob:     “So it sounds like you’re saying that as a spiritual being the way Susan is experiencing this man as (maybe) continuing with the tragedy of earlier in this lifetime, [this] could be exactly what Susan as a spiritual being intended to experience [in her current lifetime].

“Exactly… and how she will handle it… what she will learn from it… and how she will create the love in this situation. And we always say, if you allow others to be who they are, you are loving them.”

In closing

Thank you, Susan, for your question and how it inspired an answer from The Council that’s helping us expand our understanding of who we are as spiritual beings and the relationship to who we are as human beings. We particularly appreciate the new information on:

  • Why spirit might choose to go through a difficult or painful human experience.
  • How spirit is able to create multiple realities.
  • How spirit chooses to go through experiences in one reality so parts of yourself in other realities can benefit from those experiences.
  • How we plan with other spiritual beings to aggravate us in our human reality so we can uplift the aggravation with the love we are as spirit.
  • Human suffering from a spiritual point of view.

Other posts on the subject of multiple realities

If you’re interested in the subject of multiple realities, here are a a coupleof our blog posts that are primarily on this topic. The first two were written when we didn’t understand this multiple realities very well, but they give you some insight into the evolution of our understanding of this subject.

October 22, 2014 - Posted by | Audio Content, Challenges, Choice, Desire, Free Will, Helping Others, Love, Multiple Realities, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Suffering, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , ,


  1. Thank you Council, Bob and Cynthia so very much for this illuminating answer to my question. It is very helpful.


    Comment by mariner2mother | October 24, 2014

  2. An amazing post, Cynthia and Bob. I can imagine just how hard it was to combine that huge download of information into a clear and coherent message.

    Still struggling to make sense of the final part. It’s heartening to have confirmation that we can create these alternative realities, which are playing out on a ‘different TV channel’, as it were. What I’d like now is a better remote control, so that I’m not stuck watching the same programme when I’d like to switch my attention to another…!


    Comment by janonlife | October 23, 2014

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