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Why Do I Attract Abusive Behavior Into My Life?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Waimarama13, who asks: Why do I keep attracting abusive behavior into my life no matter how hard I try to keep myself safe? When I think I’ve closed the door on abuse, it finds me again in unexpected places and ways. The Council says with all the work you’ve gone through, the part of abuse you haven’t focused on is your fear of it. As you go forward and meditate, go into the fear. What does it feel like? What thoughts does it bring up? It touches on the part of you that feels alone, that feels a victim, that feels helpless. In your meditations, ask to see the source of what this fear is bringing up. It’s not necessary to go back into past lives about this.

How do you handle this fear? Do you ask for help when you’re abused? There’s no need to be alone in this abuse. There’s no need to feel frightened and confused. The part of you that’s strong and connected to spirit wants to handle this fear in a very adult and calm way. Have you reached out to get help for this abuse? What are the steps you take? We’re not talking about the boundaries you create to help yourself.

Waimarama says, I’ve been through three abusive relationships in my life and I ended the last and worst one in 2017. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with a kind and respectful man, and all I want in my life is to settle down with someone nice. After the last relationship ended I did so much work on myself to gain knowledge, strength, confidence, and self-worth to ensure I never got into another relationship like that again. I also did spiritual work. To this The Council repeats that Waimarama hasn’t dealt with the fear.

Waimarama says, I vowed my home would be a safe zone free from abusive behavior. For two years I’ve been with a nice man who treated me well, but now even this relationship is on the verge of ending because he can’t cope with how my youngest daughter behaves, and I can’t cope with it either. I’m so confused about why this is happening. The Council says it’s happening because you’ve all pre-planned it.

Waimarama says, This time it’s my eight-year-old daughter who’s abusing me. She’s an extremely lovely girl, but she’s mildly autistic, which means she has a lot of trouble with her emotions, especially anger. Her dad was my last abuser and I feel she’s learned his abusive behavior, but when she’s angry she’s actually treating me worse than he did.

2021 has been the worst and hardest year of my life. Early this year my daughter told me her dad and new stepmother were abusing her. I took over her full custody, went through court to fight for her safety, and eventually won. The Council says while you were doing all this with the thought of protecting your daughter and taking full custody, what have you done to prepare to take care of her? What are all the ways for you to get help for your daughter? Pulling her out of an abusive relationship is a wonderful thing, but your work doesn’t stop there. Your daughter has her lessons, which coincide with your lessons. Even though this is pre-planned, it’s up to you to make the environment what you want. Are you calm and strong when you see your daughter is becoming emotionally upset? When you see there are touches of violence coming from her, what do you do in the beginning?

It would be wise for you to teach your daughter about spirits. Teach her how she can reach out to spirits that are there to help her. Play games with her about energy. There are many wonderful books you can find and read with her about energy. Teach her to feel it. Teach her to know spirits are around her, loving her, and helping her through everything she’s going through. It would be nice to sit and speak of happy thoughts. Plan happy adventures, and start redirecting your direction and her direction. Instead we see you in fear, whether you feel it consciously or not, waiting to experience her next outbreak of violence. With the fear and your waiting for it, you’re pulling it in.

Waimarama says, While we were going through court my daughter broke down emotionally and her behavior, which was already very bad, turned insanely bad. She viciously attacked me many times, was very destructive, and could barely sleep at all due to long night terrors that lasted hours every night. She was also extremely violent during these night terrors.

The Council asks what are you doing when this is going on? Do you realize your daughter is helping you deal with your lessons of fear, lessons of being a victim, and lessons of being alone and helpless? And you’re helping her with becoming more than she is, and to have a greater understanding of what’s going on. These lessons that you’re bouncing off each other are right there in front of you. It’s important your daughter sees you’re getting her help. There are many places that will help you deal with the violence and abuse and how to physically stop it.

Teach your daughter about spirits when she’s angry. Start with the color red and see the number seven, as a game. Next can you see the number six? Six is orange. What else do you see with the number six? Let’s move on to the number five. Five is all yellow, almost like a daisy. What does that five feel like? Now let’s go to four. Four is all green, like a Christmas tree. Then we go to the number three. Three is all blue like the sky. Can you see clouds with the number three? Then we go to number two. Two is a beautiful dark blue. Are there stars in the blue? When we get to one we’ll feel wonderful. It’s purple. Can you see the purple around the number one?

You can do this as many times as it needs to be done. It will bring your daughter’s emotions down and will have a calming effect. Start slowly. As she does this, do it with her and tell her what you see. As you explain it to each other the emotions are blending, and with your intention you’re helping each other. Bob asks if associating the number and the color with locations in the body is a good idea and The Council says it’s too much at this time.

Waimarama says, I thought I was going to lose my mind and that I might have to give my daughter over to foster care to look after her. I also called the police quite a few times. Luckily in the last two months she’s been pretty good, calmed down a lot, stopped being violent, and isn’t so aggressive. I’ve spoken to her about how this is a peaceful home where we don’t attack each other. She says she understands, but she also says she can’t control herself when she gets angry. The Council says this is the feeling of being uncontrollable, which is one of your daughter’s issues. The colors and numbers will help.

Waimarama says, Unfortunately in the last week she started getting aggressive and angry again. Last night she kicked me in the face so hard she injured my neck. I feel so dejected, disappointed, confused, and let down by life. The Council says this is understandable, but what physical actions are you taking to help yourself deal with this, learn other methods to give your daughter the help she needs, and learn how she can understand what’s going on and help herself? It’s all about her learning about herself, what she needs, and asking for it. And it’s also about you asking for help as you go through this. You’re both helping each other with the challenges you wish to experience in this lifetime.

Waimarama says, I’ve done everything I can to keep myself safe and to ensure I only have respectful and safe relationships in my life. The Council says you can see everything you’ve done, and everything you think you can do isn’t working. There’s always more.

Waimarama says, Now it’s my own child who’s abusing me, and because I’m the only one who can protect her from her father’s abuse, I’m trapped with her, protecting her while she abuses me. This is so unfair. The Council says you’re protecting your daughter from her father’s abuse, but who’s protecting you? Why aren’t you taking further steps? Everything must be done on an energy level first. Work with the colors and the numbers. Take as much time as you can to see your daughter getting better. See the calmness come over her. Direct your thoughts to help you have the relationships and the calmness you want in your life in the future.

Waimarama says, I just can’t understand why abuse keeps following me like a bad smell. I realize there must be some kind of lesson to learn, but I thought I’d learned it by strengthening myself and my boundaries. When my child starts abusing me I wonder what the lesson must be. I haven’t willingly invited this abuser into my life. She’s my child and no one chooses to have an abusive child, or a child with neurological and emotional problems. The Council says, As a spirit you’ve willingly invited your daughter’s abuse into your life. Many people have also chosen to have a child with these problems, and you have chosen this also. As your daughter’s spirit came along to work with you, she chose to be this kind of person to help you.

Waimarama says, I’m concerned for my daughter’s future. If she behaves like this when she’s eight years old and unable to control her extreme rage, what will she be like as a teenager and an adult? Will she get herself into trouble abusing and attacking others? The Council says of course she will, unless you do the work and you work with her.

Waimarama says, I’m such a peace-loving person. I don’t know how to deal with my daughter’s problem and help her to change for the better. Obviously my peaceful ways haven’t had any positive influence on her over the years. I wonder where this is coming from within her, as I’d like to be able to help her. Has she learned this behavior or inherited it from her father, or is it her autism, or both, or something else? The Council says the autism was created and pre-planned by the two of you. That’s a part of the problem. What she’s learned from her father has also been part of the problem. Seeing you unhappy, in victim mode and not knowing what to do about it instead of being in your strength, which is the place you want to get to, is also a contributing factor. As you help yourself and you help your daughter, the situation will all come together.

Waimarama says, Will I ever be able to keep a nice man and have a healthy relationship? I’m forty-five years old now and because I’m having this huge difficulty with my daughter, I feel like there’s not much hope left. My lovely man says it’s too much for him to deal with and that he doesn’t want these problems in his life. Just when I need my partner the most, he leaves me to deal with this situation on my own and distances himself from us, which hurts so much and breaks my heart.

The Council says, These problems aren’t part of what this man wants to create in his life moving forward. We understand you’d like a partner, but before this can happen you must get to a place of strength, independence, and knowing how to handle what’s going on in your life. Your focus should be on your daughter, how to help her feel better, and have tools to make herself better. When you have this up and running, the right man for you will come into your life. Before that happens and before you start putting all your energy into finding a man, work on yourself, and see yourself happy in the future. You don’t need to know how this is going to happen. Just imagine yourself and your daughter are happy and everything will begin to fall into place.


Listen to the entire 18-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Waimarama13 and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking on the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

September 30, 2021 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Emotions, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Soul | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What’s the Purpose of Nazi Holocaust Victim’s Suffering?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Juan, who asks if the spirits of the Nazi Holocaust victims were aware they agreed to be worked, tortured, and starved to death?

The Council says the spirits of Holocaust victims all volunteered to come into that lifetime to play those roles. They knew in spirit before they came there was going to be a mass crisis to teach millions of people what happens when you aren’t in the vibration of love.

The victims knew ahead of time it was going to be a difficult life, but they also knew that lifetime would create opportunities for learning for every soul who lived during that time. And the history that was made will be passed down to future generations who weren’t there to experience it.

Many spirits who where Holocaust victims held the light for everyone who was there. Many came to be with the children who were victims. These brave souls had no idea what they were going to face in that lifetime, but they knew they’d come through it with as much love and caring as possible.

Juan asks The Council, if the Holocaust victims agreed to the horrors they faced, what was the purpose of going through this? The Council says the purpose was to bring in more love and caring and to learn that no matter how bad things get, you have the choice how you’ll face your challenges. The victims found a way to feel love and take care of each other, and to believe more in something greater than themselves. And this lesson spread throughout the world.

Juan asks if the Holocaust was due to a karmic debt and The Council says there is no karmic debt. It was just souls that realized in this world that’s being created, what can we do to bring more love in?

Juan asks what possible benefit can come from the atrocities of the Holocaust? The Council says the benefit that we learn from the experience, never forget what happened, and learn you are so much more than what you think.

Juan’s last question is, what is the purpose of coming to this material dimension to suffer pain, anguish, and agony. The Council says we don’t come to Earth to suffer these things; we come to have a good time. And even though we go through horrible times, when we decided to go through this in spirit we weren’t afraid of it because we knew we’d be coming home to spirit again. This is something we’re going through to learn from. How will we help each other out while we’re here and what will we take back to spirit with us?

The Council closes by reminding us that you always come into the Earth reality with the thought that no matter what happens, I will find a way to show love and change the reality to a more loving one. What can I do to face these challenges? Will I remember who I really am as a spirit in a physical body? Will I choose joy and love? Will I be compassionate no matter what I’m going through? And when I bring more love into this reality, when my time there is over, I’ll have done what I set out to do.

Listen to our entire 12-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Juan and the rest of us on the Holocaust, and let us know how you feel about it.

April 19, 2018 Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Challenges, Channeling, Choice, Helping Others, Karma, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Spirit, Suffering | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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