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Why Do I Attract Abusive Behavior Into My Life?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Waimarama13, who asks: Why do I keep attracting abusive behavior into my life no matter how hard I try to keep myself safe? When I think I’ve closed the door on abuse, it finds me again in unexpected places and ways. The Council says with all the work you’ve gone through, the part of abuse you haven’t focused on is your fear of it. As you go forward and meditate, go into the fear. What does it feel like? What thoughts does it bring up? It touches on the part of you that feels alone, that feels a victim, that feels helpless. In your meditations, ask to see the source of what this fear is bringing up. It’s not necessary to go back into past lives about this.

How do you handle this fear? Do you ask for help when you’re abused? There’s no need to be alone in this abuse. There’s no need to feel frightened and confused. The part of you that’s strong and connected to spirit wants to handle this fear in a very adult and calm way. Have you reached out to get help for this abuse? What are the steps you take? We’re not talking about the boundaries you create to help yourself.

Waimarama says, I’ve been through three abusive relationships in my life and I ended the last and worst one in 2017. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with a kind and respectful man, and all I want in my life is to settle down with someone nice. After the last relationship ended I did so much work on myself to gain knowledge, strength, confidence, and self-worth to ensure I never got into another relationship like that again. I also did spiritual work. To this The Council repeats that Waimarama hasn’t dealt with the fear.

Waimarama says, I vowed my home would be a safe zone free from abusive behavior. For two years I’ve been with a nice man who treated me well, but now even this relationship is on the verge of ending because he can’t cope with how my youngest daughter behaves, and I can’t cope with it either. I’m so confused about why this is happening. The Council says it’s happening because you’ve all pre-planned it.

Waimarama says, This time it’s my eight-year-old daughter who’s abusing me. She’s an extremely lovely girl, but she’s mildly autistic, which means she has a lot of trouble with her emotions, especially anger. Her dad was my last abuser and I feel she’s learned his abusive behavior, but when she’s angry she’s actually treating me worse than he did.

2021 has been the worst and hardest year of my life. Early this year my daughter told me her dad and new stepmother were abusing her. I took over her full custody, went through court to fight for her safety, and eventually won. The Council says while you were doing all this with the thought of protecting your daughter and taking full custody, what have you done to prepare to take care of her? What are all the ways for you to get help for your daughter? Pulling her out of an abusive relationship is a wonderful thing, but your work doesn’t stop there. Your daughter has her lessons, which coincide with your lessons. Even though this is pre-planned, it’s up to you to make the environment what you want. Are you calm and strong when you see your daughter is becoming emotionally upset? When you see there are touches of violence coming from her, what do you do in the beginning?

It would be wise for you to teach your daughter about spirits. Teach her how she can reach out to spirits that are there to help her. Play games with her about energy. There are many wonderful books you can find and read with her about energy. Teach her to feel it. Teach her to know spirits are around her, loving her, and helping her through everything she’s going through. It would be nice to sit and speak of happy thoughts. Plan happy adventures, and start redirecting your direction and her direction. Instead we see you in fear, whether you feel it consciously or not, waiting to experience her next outbreak of violence. With the fear and your waiting for it, you’re pulling it in.

Waimarama says, While we were going through court my daughter broke down emotionally and her behavior, which was already very bad, turned insanely bad. She viciously attacked me many times, was very destructive, and could barely sleep at all due to long night terrors that lasted hours every night. She was also extremely violent during these night terrors.

The Council asks what are you doing when this is going on? Do you realize your daughter is helping you deal with your lessons of fear, lessons of being a victim, and lessons of being alone and helpless? And you’re helping her with becoming more than she is, and to have a greater understanding of what’s going on. These lessons that you’re bouncing off each other are right there in front of you. It’s important your daughter sees you’re getting her help. There are many places that will help you deal with the violence and abuse and how to physically stop it.

Teach your daughter about spirits when she’s angry. Start with the color red and see the number seven, as a game. Next can you see the number six? Six is orange. What else do you see with the number six? Let’s move on to the number five. Five is all yellow, almost like a daisy. What does that five feel like? Now let’s go to four. Four is all green, like a Christmas tree. Then we go to the number three. Three is all blue like the sky. Can you see clouds with the number three? Then we go to number two. Two is a beautiful dark blue. Are there stars in the blue? When we get to one we’ll feel wonderful. It’s purple. Can you see the purple around the number one?

You can do this as many times as it needs to be done. It will bring your daughter’s emotions down and will have a calming effect. Start slowly. As she does this, do it with her and tell her what you see. As you explain it to each other the emotions are blending, and with your intention you’re helping each other. Bob asks if associating the number and the color with locations in the body is a good idea and The Council says it’s too much at this time.

Waimarama says, I thought I was going to lose my mind and that I might have to give my daughter over to foster care to look after her. I also called the police quite a few times. Luckily in the last two months she’s been pretty good, calmed down a lot, stopped being violent, and isn’t so aggressive. I’ve spoken to her about how this is a peaceful home where we don’t attack each other. She says she understands, but she also says she can’t control herself when she gets angry. The Council says this is the feeling of being uncontrollable, which is one of your daughter’s issues. The colors and numbers will help.

Waimarama says, Unfortunately in the last week she started getting aggressive and angry again. Last night she kicked me in the face so hard she injured my neck. I feel so dejected, disappointed, confused, and let down by life. The Council says this is understandable, but what physical actions are you taking to help yourself deal with this, learn other methods to give your daughter the help she needs, and learn how she can understand what’s going on and help herself? It’s all about her learning about herself, what she needs, and asking for it. And it’s also about you asking for help as you go through this. You’re both helping each other with the challenges you wish to experience in this lifetime.

Waimarama says, I’ve done everything I can to keep myself safe and to ensure I only have respectful and safe relationships in my life. The Council says you can see everything you’ve done, and everything you think you can do isn’t working. There’s always more.

Waimarama says, Now it’s my own child who’s abusing me, and because I’m the only one who can protect her from her father’s abuse, I’m trapped with her, protecting her while she abuses me. This is so unfair. The Council says you’re protecting your daughter from her father’s abuse, but who’s protecting you? Why aren’t you taking further steps? Everything must be done on an energy level first. Work with the colors and the numbers. Take as much time as you can to see your daughter getting better. See the calmness come over her. Direct your thoughts to help you have the relationships and the calmness you want in your life in the future.

Waimarama says, I just can’t understand why abuse keeps following me like a bad smell. I realize there must be some kind of lesson to learn, but I thought I’d learned it by strengthening myself and my boundaries. When my child starts abusing me I wonder what the lesson must be. I haven’t willingly invited this abuser into my life. She’s my child and no one chooses to have an abusive child, or a child with neurological and emotional problems. The Council says, As a spirit you’ve willingly invited your daughter’s abuse into your life. Many people have also chosen to have a child with these problems, and you have chosen this also. As your daughter’s spirit came along to work with you, she chose to be this kind of person to help you.

Waimarama says, I’m concerned for my daughter’s future. If she behaves like this when she’s eight years old and unable to control her extreme rage, what will she be like as a teenager and an adult? Will she get herself into trouble abusing and attacking others? The Council says of course she will, unless you do the work and you work with her.

Waimarama says, I’m such a peace-loving person. I don’t know how to deal with my daughter’s problem and help her to change for the better. Obviously my peaceful ways haven’t had any positive influence on her over the years. I wonder where this is coming from within her, as I’d like to be able to help her. Has she learned this behavior or inherited it from her father, or is it her autism, or both, or something else? The Council says the autism was created and pre-planned by the two of you. That’s a part of the problem. What she’s learned from her father has also been part of the problem. Seeing you unhappy, in victim mode and not knowing what to do about it instead of being in your strength, which is the place you want to get to, is also a contributing factor. As you help yourself and you help your daughter, the situation will all come together.

Waimarama says, Will I ever be able to keep a nice man and have a healthy relationship? I’m forty-five years old now and because I’m having this huge difficulty with my daughter, I feel like there’s not much hope left. My lovely man says it’s too much for him to deal with and that he doesn’t want these problems in his life. Just when I need my partner the most, he leaves me to deal with this situation on my own and distances himself from us, which hurts so much and breaks my heart.

The Council says, These problems aren’t part of what this man wants to create in his life moving forward. We understand you’d like a partner, but before this can happen you must get to a place of strength, independence, and knowing how to handle what’s going on in your life. Your focus should be on your daughter, how to help her feel better, and have tools to make herself better. When you have this up and running, the right man for you will come into your life. Before that happens and before you start putting all your energy into finding a man, work on yourself, and see yourself happy in the future. You don’t need to know how this is going to happen. Just imagine yourself and your daughter are happy and everything will begin to fall into place.


Listen to the entire 18-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Waimarama13 and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking on the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

September 30, 2021 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Emotions, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Soul | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spiritual Insight Into People We Consider Autistic

This post answers questions from a long-time reader named, Jan, who say that in her many years observing people on the autistic spectrum she’s noticed the following:

  • Sudden disorientation and panic for no reason
  • Sudden personality changes
  • Moving from very outgoing and friendly to insular for periods ranging from a few days to many months
  • Memory lapses is some areas, but highly detailed memory in other events
  • Extreme desire for anything predictable and and unchanging, which seems to comfort them
  • Levels of psychic ability beyond that of most other people

The Council say this different way of living that most of us call autistic is chosen by the spirit and the main reason is to teach the people around them. You’ll notice they live their lives very differently. What do you do to understand this difference? Do you accept how they are? Do you try to communicate with them in ways they’re trying to teach you?

When an autistic spectrum person goes into panic or withdraws it’s because they exist in several realities at the same time. Although all of us experience many different realities at the same time, we’re not usually aware of it except maybe in a dream or a meditation. A spirit that chooses to experience autism allows themself to be in more than one reality and to know it and remember it.

Sometimes these people jump from one reality to another and this can be frightening to them because their world can change in a moment. These souls require lots of patience and love and it’s your role to supply this. Understand that these people may not be present in your reality right now and at these times it’s not a good idea to touch them and try to bring them back into your reality. They’re experiencing something in another reality and can come back to this reality when they’re ready.

This type of behavior is confusing for most people who see it, but aren’t able to understand it. And it’s very challenging for the spirit that’s going through this experience. They’re mainly trying to teach people who just experience one reality that there’s more than one reality going on and how to look at it. Ask yourself what’s going on for this person? How can I communicate with this person when they’re experiencing this? How can I let them know they’re safe, even if they must jump from one reality to another?

The Council says the sudden personality changes in these people are caused by them experiencing these different realities, but their physical body is still here and it can take on the personality of what that spirit is focusing on in another reality. When an autistic spectrum person is in your reality, whatever you can do to help them see and feel familiar things will help them.

Jan says many years ago The Council suggested to her that when a close autistic spectrum friend of hers becomes uncommunicative for a while, she’d be able to communicate with him telepathically. She’s been doing this, but as they communicate there are often inconsistencies between his experience and memory of events and hers. The Council says when you try to communicate telepathically with this spirit, it’s felt in whatever reality he’s experiencing in that moment and that’s the reason for these inconsistencies.

Jan asked her own spirit guides for guidance on her autistic spectrum friend’s situation and was given information similar to what The Council has described, but Jan says she has difficulty understanding this guidance or even believing it, although she says it does offer an explanation for much of his behavior.

The Council advises Jan to learn a little more about the realities her friend experiences when he’s back in their shared reality. Ask him in a non-threatening way what’s been happening in his life lately. See what he says and don’t think it’s crazy or it doesn’t make sense. In this way you can learn about where he goes and what he’s experiencing. It was part of your purpose to learn there is more to life than the reality you experience. You’re also here to learn about other realities.


Listen to the entire 12-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Jan and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. It’s a little longer than a lot of our sessions, but there’s a lot of information here and we feel it’s definitely worthwhile.

If you like this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

November 10, 2019 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Psychic Ability, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

How to Communicate with Autistic People

In this post a reader named EG asks The Council for advice on how to communicate with people who have Autism, after reading one of our previous posts on Autism.

The Council says to show these people love, compassion, and joy. Speak to them through your mind. In the beginning, if they allow you to touch them, it’s very helpful to reach out and touch their arm or their shoulder while communicating with them. When they’re feeling safe with you they’ll let you touch them.

When speaking with Autistic people it’s helpful for you to form pictures in your mind of what you are trying to communicate.

Meditation will raise your vibration and give you the support you’re looking for when communicating with Autistic people.

Autistic people are very wise and quick to pick up on your feelings. Surround yourself with the happiest, most loving vibration you can while you’re around people who have Autism.

EG closes by saying they guess they aren’t evolved enough to communicate with Autistic people, but they’d still like to try. And The Council laughs and replies that EG is more evolved than they believe.

Listen to our entire 3-minute conversation with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for EG and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel.

November 12, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Feelings, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Spiritual Significance of Autism

This post is inspired by a question from a reader named, EG, who asks The Council why so many people are born with Autism if we plan our lives in spirit before we’re born. We encourage you to listen to the recording of this session, which is posted below. There’s more information than we included in the written portion of this post.

The Council says spirits that come into this reality that have chosen Autism have done this to show others here that there are different ways to perceive things, different ways to communicate, and that there are other realities. People who have chosen to be Autistic are very advanced souls who come from other star systems where talking isn’t necessary and they communicate with their minds. Autistic people are filled with love and are very happy living this way. Most people think they are living in their heads, but they are communicating with other advanced souls in the star systems they came from.

It’s very brave for Autistic people to come to our Earthly reality and be so different and try to get the people in this reality to understand them. Autistic people have gone beyond living the way we live in this reality. As they’ve moved on and learned other ways to be and other ways to show love, they have chosen to return to our Earthly reality to teach us these ways.

When these ascended souls who have chosen to be Autistic return to Earth, they wish to be accepted and wish the people around them will feel love for them even though they are so different and so misunderstood. These people aren’t less than us; they’re more advanced than we are. As we learn to love Autistic people, the door opens to deeper understanding of our reality. They come to Earth to teach us greater understanding and to open to differences beyond what we currently understand. This is Autistic peoples’ purpose.

Autistic people are our teachers and we need to sit with them more and experience a loving feeling for these individuals. As we stay in the vibration of love, things advance on many levels. There are many angels around Autistic people feeding energy and love to the people around them so we can get to a place where we have greater understanding.

There isn’t something missing from Autistic people . They don’t need fixing and to be like us, as we often think, but they can teach us. They are here to help us grow in many ways. As we begin to understand this, things in our reality will begin to change.

Autistic people understand what’s going on, but they want to show us another way. This is why sometimes in trying to get us to understand them, they become frustrated when they can’t get their ideas across to us.

The Council says words are an ancient way of communicating and if we could look at how individuals in other realities communicate, we’d realize we’re in the Stone Age. As we advance to other forms of communication we won’t need words, and The Council says we’ll get there in time.

Listen to the recording of our 14-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Very Confused and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

August 4, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Other Realities, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Jan & Will’s Telepathic Communication

This post is inspired by a question from Jan about an important friendship with a former student named Will who became like a son to her when his mother passed away. Jan describes feeling a spiritual connection with Will and believes that as spirits before they were born into this lifetime they planned to be in each other’s human lives.

But as Will developed from a child with autism into a young adult he proceeded to withdraw from friends, family, and finally Jan, to the point where she hasn’t heard from him in over a year and hasn’t seen him in three years. After reading one of our blog posts describing The Council’s advice to a reader experiencing a similar separation from her biological twin brother of 70+ years, Jan asked The Council for their view of her friendship with Will.

Click here to read the rest of this post→

March 9, 2013 Posted by | Connecting With Spirit, Expansion, Helping Others, Law of Attraction, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Reincarnation | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

   

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