Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

How Do I Let Go Of An Ex-Friend With Love?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Lindsey.

Lindsey: I’d greatly appreciate The Council’s insight on a friendship that I’m having a hard time letting go of with love. We’ve known each other for about 15 years, and the last five years haven’t been great. During this time I’ve felt the friendship to be somewhat toxic and one-sided. There was a breaking point for me about three years ago, but I still showed up in group settings. I’ve since distanced myself more this past year, declining gatherings if she would be present. I dream of her often, which I find odd since we’re not in each other’s lives currently.

Council: It’s because subconsciously you do think of this person all the time without being aware of that. And so you would dream of this person, you’d have memories come up about this person, and you’d be, with your human brain, trying to figure out what’s going on, where in a situation such as this you’d have to come more from your heart and not your brain.

And so if it’s a toxic relationship, it’s fine to put an end to it if that’s what you want. But would you stay out of social situations because of this one person? And if you did, then once again your focus is on this person. There would be other people there for you to talk with and hang out with. And so think of it this way. If you need to let go of this relationship, that’s fine. But look at the surroundings, the people you want to be with, or don’t want to be with, and then make the decision for what you really want. And make yourself comfortable in that situation, and learn to focus on these other people. And you would see your feelings would be different hanging out with others in that group.

Lindsey: These past few years I’ve done a lot of self-work and I’m unwilling to allow people in my life that bring down my vibration, or don’t have good intentions.

Council: Ahh, right there, you don’t want people in your life that will bring down your vibration. Let’s see. We will put it this way. You are in control of your thoughts. And so other people that are around you, how you choose to see them will bring your relationship up or down.

Are you practicing accepting people the way they are? Maybe not understanding them. Maybe not even liking the way they react to things, or the way they treat you. But if you could find one good thing, even it’s, “Well, you know, I really don’t like being around this person, or this person annoys me, but they are going through their stuff, and I’ll send them some love.”

Or if I can’t do that, don’t focus on their negative qualities. And so when you don’t focus on these negative qualities, your vibration will not go down. You can simply think, “Oh, they’re on their path. I don’t get it. I don’t have to get it. I don’t have to understand it, but I can accept that.

Lindsey: Do you know if this is a relationship from a past life?

Council: We’d say, yes, there were several past lives. But what we’re trying to teach now and get people to understand, that past life doesn’t matter. It could have been wonderful. it could have been horrible. It could have been some of one and some of the other. You are here now to learn how to focus and create the relationships and life that you want.

And so even though many people like to know about the past – did I have a life with this one, did I have a life with that one – it really doesn’t matter. You are taking leaps up the ladder of enlightenment and growing, where you can let go of the thoughts of the past and see what’s going on now, how you handle it, how you can accept someone, and then just let it go and put your focus somewhere else. You will see a huge change in how you feel, and how your vibration is.

Lindsey: Do you have any advice on how I can be more at peace with the distance between us so I can honor the boundaries I feel are needed?

Council: Honor your boundaries, the ones that make you feel comfortable. Know that you had a relationship for a while. Try to remember the good parts of it and now say, for whatever reason I don’t understand yet, it’s time to let that relationship go. It’s so simple. It’s your choice.

Lindsey: Many thanks for all your guidance.

Council: So focus now on what you want – a new someone in your life, a more peaceful relationship with people around you, being able to feel more love from your heart. Even if you don’t like someone, you can just understand you are a spirit, they are a spirit, and you are all on your own paths.

And so as always, we wish you love and fun in your creations, and learning from them, and moving on, and helping the other spirits in your life on their path. And always remember, bring in the love, bring in the love. You can always find it in anyone if you truly look for it.

Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lindsey and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages and we’ll answer it when we have time.

Or you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

January 9, 2024 Posted by | Acceptance, Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Decision Making, Desire, Love, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Vibration, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Questions About an Abusive Separated Husband

This post answers questions from a reader named, Jolanda, who says 18 months ago she ended an 8 year relationship with her verbally and emotionally abusive husband, but because they have a child together they communicate almost daily, which gives him opportunities to manipulate her emotions.

The Council doesn’t think it’s necessary to have contact with your husband almost daily. It’s something you need, but your husband doesn’t. Is this because you don’t want to let go of your husband? If this relationship is hurtful, why would you want to stay in it? You can co-parent a child without having daily communication with your spouse.

One of the lessons you’ve created for yourself in this lifetime is protecting yourself and learning how to make boundaries. The Council says they don’t see this boundary-making happening. There’s no need to punish yourself. If you can begin setting these boundaries you’ll feel a little more powerful and you’ll allow the relief and healing to come into your life.

The Council says they don’t see a reconciliation with the husband occurring at this time. Recognize him as a spirit on his own path and learning his own lessons. You feel the love for him because you recognize him as a spirit. Wherever he is on his path, you can love him and let him go, and make the boundary to protect yourself, and change your life to a more powerful and peaceful one.

Jolanda says she and her husband agreed a few weeks ago they weren’t getting back together and she feels betrayed that he’s apparently moved on with a new girlfriend. The Council asks Jolanda to find the energy to understand this agreement between the two of them. And if he changes his mind and says he wants to be with her again, can she make the boundary and say, “No. Enough. I can’t be in this type of relationship.” Instead of waiting to see where your husband is in this relationship, make your own boundaries. Think about how you’ll move forward and how you can get free from this relationship and find the happiness you wish for?

Jolanda says she’s pining for the love she had with her husband and wishing for someone else to love, but feels like she’ll never love anyone but her husband. The Council says the love she and her husband had isn’t there right now because there are lessons Jolanda needs to learn. Wishing for someone else to love is a wonderful direction to go in. Focus on this. What kind of person do you want in your life, down to every detail you can think of? And be ready to let this relationship in? When you can focus more on the new person you want in your life, things will change in this direction.

Jolanda says she feels her marriage was a divine bond and that she and her husband are deeply connected at a soul level. The Council says of course there’s a soul connection. This relationship was all agreed to in spirit so you could discover the role of independence, the role of boundaries in your life, the role of speaking up for yourself, and the role of learning how to protect yourself.

The Council closes by telling Jolanda: When you begin to love yourself enough to protect yourself; when your begin to believe there’s another way, and there’s more for you, and the soul who is your husband needs to go on with his lessons; when you begin to focus in a whole new direction on what you truly want in your life; The Council promises Jolanda her life will begin to change for the better.

Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you like this session, please consider clicking the Like button in the section below the recording to let us and our other readers know. Thanks.

October 7, 2018 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Choosing Two Abusive Marriages to Learn What You Want

This post is inspired by follow-up questions from Vacha who has been in an abusive marriage and has moved back to India with her parents. This is Vacha’s second marriage and both husbands were physically abusive.

The Council asks Vacha if there’s any question in her mind that she did the right thing when she left her husband. They imagine if you’re in an abusive situation, you’d feel comfortable that you had the power and the knowledge how to get out of this relationship.

Vacha asks The Council if she has any karmic accounts with her two husbands, and The Council says this in not the case.

The Council asks Vacha if she sees a pattern in why she chose these two abusive marriages. These have been lessons about awareness. The signs of abuse were there before each marriage. What has Vacha learned from these relationships? The Council says if Vacha doesn’t start asking herself this question, she will bring another abusive relationship. She has created this situation so she would learn about awareness, self-worth, courage, and how to create what you want.

Vacha asks if The Council sees her in a good relationship in the future. And The Council says she must do the work they describe if she wants a good relationship. Let go of the fear of what she’s experienced and let go of the question if there’s someone better for her. Focus on herself and find within the strength to believe she deserves better. Visualize a better life. Think of the abusiveness as a learning lesson and then let it go.

Vacha asks if there’s a chance she planned to have these abusive relationships before coming into this world, and The Council says definitely.

The Council says Vacha needed to fail in these two marriages in order to see what she wanted to learn. And she’s right on track; there’s nothing wrong here.

Listen to our entire 7-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Vacha and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

February 25, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Karma, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , | 1 Comment