Ask The Council

What will you ask Spirit?

Did The Man I Was With Not Want To Commit Because I Wasn’t Young And Pretty Enough?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Violet.

Violet: Hello, Bob and Cynthia. Thanks in advance for answering my questions; there are two. The first one is about a man who I ended the relationship with because he did not want to commit. I have always wondered, was it because I was not young and pretty enough? What did he come to teach me?

Council: He did not want to commit because, at that time, the lessons he was looking to learn were different from yours, and you could not give him the lessons that he needed to learn. So it’s about his higher self letting him know, right now, this is not the path to go on because there is something else you want to learn. And that’s all that is.

Violet: The other question is about physical appearance. I have a condition that makes me look very tired and sick, and I have not been able to accept this condition, and let go of the need to be prettier so people would not reject me.

Council: You do not need to be prettier so people do not reject you. You need to feel better about yourself. If you feel you look tired and worn out, well, there are many things in your reality you can do. You can do makeup, you can do hair, you can sleep more, you can eat better. You can take care of that.

But we would like to say, in almost every relationship, whether it’s with a husband, a wife, good friends, or people that work together, what makes you appealing is your smile. No matter how tired you are, when you smile, your eyes will smile. It puts out a welcoming energy, and people will come to you because there is something in the smile. And they don’t know…wow, the energy from this smile… but the smile… When you force yourself to smile, when you make the corners of your mouth turn up, your energy changes. It comes from the eyes, it comes from the heart, because the smile is the sign of love.

And so we would say, smile more. Feel good about yourself. If you can do it, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. And that is a very hard thing for many people to do. But the beauty will come from inside you when you smile. When you smile, you say to people, “Hello, you look interesting.” And they feel it. And then they look at you, and all of a sudden, you look differently. But it’s not your physical features. It’s how you feel about yourself and that smile. We would say, practice it a lot. You will see a difference.

Violet: What do I have to do and learn from this experience? Thank you again.

Council: What you have to do is smile. What you will learn is how powerful your smile is.

Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Violet and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

And lastly, if you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know.

March 29, 2026 Posted by | Channeling, Relationships, Questions & Answers, Audio Content | , , , , | Leave a comment

Is This Man At Work Interested In Getting To Know Me Better?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Clueless. after she read our previous post on a similar subject, Is This Man Interested In Knowing Me Better?

Clueless: Wow, I’m experiencing the same thing. I haven’t asked the guy at work for coffee, but everyone says I should.

Council: So everyone knows what’s best for you, and what you should or should not do.

Clueless: So many people at work think he’s interested, but I see no signs at all.

Council: There’s your answer. That is what you have to learn. It doesn’t matter if one, two, fifty, or one hundred people tell you what to do. Do you see it? Do you feel it? Do you feel it’s right to go and do this? Does it make you comfortable? Does it make you uncomfortable? Forget what everyone else says. Learn to follow your intuition.

Clueless: I’d love to get to know him as a friend, as we have so much in common, but I fear the rejection.

Council: Everyone in your reality doesn’t like rejection. But you must remember that if you are rejected in this lifetime, that doesn’t mean you won’t create with this person in another lifetime.

But is this experience teaching you to ask for what you want? It might be good for you to become friends with this person, but how does it make you feel? That’s where your answer is. Forgetting what everyone else says, forgetting about the rejection, is the Earth going to explode if you are rejected? Are you going to walk down the street and get hit by a car, or better yet get hit by lightning because you’re rejected? No.

Can you take the chance of asking this man to have coffee with you, and if you get a, “No”, can you say, “Alright, so I was right and those other people were wrong.” And so I’ve had that experience, and let it go. It’s just an experience. But if there’s a part of you that wants to ask him to have coffee, that wants to be friends, take the chance. Nothing horrible will happen.

So what do you learn from rejection? It doesn’t feel good, but at least I took a chance. And the next time it will be easier to take a chance. Or someone will take a chance and ask you to have coffee.

So it’s all about following your intuition. And if everybody is thinking, “This guy is interested,” then you can always tell these people that he should ask you. And if they say, “Well, he’s shy,” you can just laugh and say, “Well he’ll get over his shyness if he wants to know me better. But be playful about it. Don’t take things so seriously.

You know we’ve all come here to learn and have fun. And jumping into this reality we knew whatever happens, I can handle it, but let’s see what I learn from this lifetime. Let’s see what I learn from this creating. Will it make me strong? Will it make me proud of myself? And that’s what this is all about. It’s not that if you are rejected the world comes to an end and you can never go forward. It’s taking a chance. Pat yourself on the back. It worked, I took a chance, it worked, or it didn’t work. Okay, that person is not ready. I was ready, but that person wasn’t, so this isn’t the time. That is all that it is.

Clueless: Whatever others are seeing, I’m not seeing it from him. He’s an awesome guy, but I don’t know if he’s shy, or purely just not interested.

Council: So you have a choice here to wait until you see some sign from him, or to just jump in and ask, or to just wait. Just follow your feeling if it tells you to wait. And that’s the answer. Do you take a chance? Can you stop relying on what everyone else is saying and wait it out, or take the chance? In your imagination, in your thoughts, you can always see him asking you out. Having the feeling: Oh, I’m so surprised, this feels so great, he’s asking me. Create it that way, from joy, from happiness, and you’ll get what you want.

It makes us very happy to help. It’s so much fun for us to give answers to help people move forward. That’s our purpose right now.

Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Clueless and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages and we’ll post their answer as soon as we can.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

May 4, 2023 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Creation, Imagination, Questions & Answers, Reincarnation, Relationships | , , | 2 Comments

Believing in a Loving and Benevolent God When Life Sucks

This post is a response to a question for The Council from Chris, who wants to know how she can believe a loving and benevolent God exists when her life feels like evidence of the opposite. Chris asks how she can learn to believe and know she is heard and is important when she’s unable to perceive the presence of a loving and benevolent God in her life.

What Is God Like?

Among people who acknowledge the existence of God or a higher power (92% of Americans according to a university survey) beliefs tend to vary about what God is. According to this survey, beliefs in what God is like tend to fall into the following four types: Authoritarian (31%), Benevolent (25%), Critical (16%), and Distant (23%).

Where is God?

Whether we think of God in one or more (or none) of these four ways, we often think of God as being “out there” somewhere—like in heaven or throughout the Universe—rather than inside of us. But The Council advises all of us that it’s important to find God within ourselves—in our own consciousness. This can be a difficult concept to grasp if we’re accustomed to thinking of God as outside of us and we’re used to looking for evidence of God’s existence out in the world.

This is an introduction to this post. Click here to read the full post→

May 19, 2010 Posted by | God, Questions & Answers | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Are Pure Spirit in a Physical Body – Part 1

Robyn’s Request

This post is the first part of a response to a comment by Robyn (click to view comment) who asks The Council for support and guidance to:

  • Get past feeling it’s not safe to be herself
  • Stop believing she will be rejected if she expresses her true feelings
  • Start speaking and living her truth

Robyn adds that she:

  • Seems to have spent most of her life running away from herself
  • Has tried being almost anyone but who she really is
  • Has tried to make herself more like people she’s admired
  • Never got to know who she genuinely is, and suspects the reason is that she won’t be able to love and accept herself
  • Is tired of pretending

Thank you, Robyn, for your comment. If it hasn’t occurred to you already that your questions are evidence you’ve started speaking your truth, you may want to give this some thought.

This is an introduction to this post. Click here to read the full post→

March 30, 2010 Posted by | Connecting With Spirit, Questions & Answers | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments