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What Can I Do About My Dysfunctional Relationship With My Mother?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name Anon Reader.

Anon: Hi, Cynthia, Bob, and The Council. I was wondering if you had any insight into my lifelong tumultuous relationship with my mother? My sibling and I have always felt that she is controlling, self-centered, cruel, and emotionally violent. I can appreciate from a distance that we all do what we feel we have to do or say, and function according to our programming, but I also can’t continue with this dysfunctional relationship in its current form, and fear I should seriously prepare to walk away if that’s best.

Council: Well #1, we would say there is no programming going on. What’s going on is choices and free will, and that’s what you’re here to learn about. Free will that no matter what kind of relationship you have, how does it make you feel? Can you improve it in any way? What choices do you have?

And so, we see the three of you in several lives together as children, and not getting along, and fist-fighting, and tumbling around on the floor, and beating each other up as children, and trying to get each other into trouble.

And so, it has come forward in this lifetime as one of you as the parent, and then the other two as children. But it was your wish to see how you could create a life where one of you is the adult, how they would handle it, how you would respond to them instead of just three children fighting. It was to learn how to not be in competition, how not be in, “Who’s the boss, and who’s going to get their way?”

And it’s just a lesson from past lives that you have brought forward. You want to see how it can be done with one of you as an adult. And then, if for some reason you choose to walk away and not work it out, you may, the three of you, choose to come back as two adults and a child, or three adults. It is just the lesson that is wanted. It was how to get along, and how to get through difficult times, and jealousy, and attention, and abandonment issues all coming together, how you would handle it.

And so, as you think of this, now see how, with this knowledge, you handle this lesson

Anon: I’d appreciate any advice, and thanks so much for all of your work.

Council: It’s quite fun if you could sit down and picture the three of you as children, and what it might have been like in several lifetimes, fighting, and who was controlling, and who was the boss, and who was going to get their way. Imagine what they might look like. Imagine a certain age that you were all at. What does that look like?

And you can bring some funny thoughts into this lesson. And as the feeling about this lesson changes, in your reality, what you live through will change. So to start the change, to understand it, and perhaps change how you all get along now, which is what is wanted, you will do it by just daydreaming about what the heck it could have been like when you were children.

And who knows? Maybe tonight you’ll dream of us. And of course we have to add, you can see us every night, you can talk to us every night, you can dream of us, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to remember. But what we teach you, what you need to know, is within you. And when you need that information, you will remember.


Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anon Reader and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

November 19, 2025 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Free Will, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , | Leave a comment

Finding Clarity in Unplanned Pregnancies

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named L.

L: Hello again, Bob & Cynthia. You were kind enough to ask for clarity for me a couple of years ago when I became pregnant unexpectedly. It was a tough time, and I lost the baby at the end of the first trimester. I could not go through with a termination, and offered to the spirit [of the fetus] that I would leave it to them to stay with me, or go. Our world was a little rocky, and the babe left.

I now find myself unexpectedly pregnant again at 42 years old. Again, my husband is not happy. I am shocked, but less so than before. Our relationship was already in conflict, and this is pushing the limits of mutual disrespect and fighting. I don’t feel as rejected as my last pregnancy with him, but I definitely don’t feel embraced.

I would love some clarity from The Council regarding this pregnancy and the way forward. Part of me hoped that we could make this pregnancy work, and bring us closer together, and [create] more harmony, but it has not. At 10 weeks pregnant, we can barely be civil to each other.

Council: We find that many people in your reality have the thought that bringing a new soul into this existence will solve one or many of these problems. Part of why this happens is to show you that nothing will change until you look at yourself, and what you are part of in this relationship, and why there is so much turmoil.

And so we ask you, what work have you done to look at this relationship? We’re sure that [with] what you’ve created in your reality, you are not all of a sudden aware that, “Oh, we’re having problems in this marriage, and whoops, we’re pregnant.” We feel that there have been things that needed to be looked at and talked about, which would change the relationship. And so, when there is another child, you are in a much better place.

And so we would say, it is your responsibility as a parent to try, always to try, to give your children a loving atmosphere. Love is #1. To give them education. To give them good character. And so, in your relationship, as it is, do you see this as possible?

And so then, when you decide if it’s possible or not, and things are always possible, but both parties must work on this. If it is possible, then you begin to behave, handle, and solve things differently. If it is not possible, then it is your place to decide: Do I bring this child into this atmosphere? Or wanting the child, [do I] change the atmosphere, leave the relationship, or get spiritual or mental help? Whatever you feel is needed that will take you through the steps in a healthy relationship.

And so we ask you, before you make a decision on what to do, really spend a lot of time on whether you want this child. If you don’t want this child, if you want this relationship to work, you really, really work on it, and not just be angry with each other.

L: I’m not in a position to be a single mother of three; however, I’m so sad at what our relationship has become for myself and our children.

Council: And so we ask here, you’re saying a mother of three. So you already have two children in this relationship. It just didn’t automatically happen. You have both created this so you can work on it and learn from it, learn about yourselves, and learn how to care for other people – your children.

One of the lessons in this is, there are already children involved. Now you wanted to learn [about] your responsibility, and how much you want to give them. And how much you want them to experience and learn in this relationship, so that when they go forward, and they are older, they would make choices, and they would have memories of what has gone on now.

So because it has been going on for such a long time, two children are already in this relationship that is unsettled, and now there may be a third. Again we ask you – you brought this in – the lesson was to learn about yourself and how to care for, not only the children, but each other. It is a lesson from other lifetimes, and it’s about caring.

And so we ask you to take your time, and to go into this, and truly do the work.

L: I’m looking for the light, as I feel at times so lost being pregnant at my age, and in an unhappy marriage with two young children.

Council: So again, because the lesson here was how you treat others, imagine how your children are feeling in this unhealthy situation. Do you want to change it for them? Or do you simply want to walk away and still change it for them, and then make it better for them on your own? Those are your choices. Or you continue as it is until you realize what must be done.

L: Any guidance would be appreciated. I wish for a happy, peaceful life with my family, and good health. Thank you, L.

Council: And so we would say at this point, sit down with yourself, with your thoughts, and say, “What is necessary to change this? What can I do on my end to make this better?” And concentrate on yourself. If you begin to work on yourself, your husband must do the same. He will see the choices you are making. He will see how you are responding. And so it would be the little domino effect. And then you will work on yourself, your husband will work on himself, and the children will see how different the relationship can be. You can change any situation you are in. And how to always use love as the answer, and treat each other with kindness.

And who knows? Maybe tonight you’ll dream of us. And of course, we have to add, you can see us every night, you can talk to us every night, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to remember. But what we teach you, what you need to know is within you, and when you need that information, you will remember.


Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for L and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

October 30, 2025 Posted by | Audio Content, Love, Marriage, Other Lifetimes, Pregnancy, Questions & Answers, Relationships | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Did My Ex-Partner Come Into My Life And Ruin It?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Zumzulis.

Zumzulis: I was writing before about a pregnancy with a person who smoked weed. I terminated the relationship, and we split. What happened after that was that he came running back after two months, and promised that he really wants a family, and we can create one.

Council: And was there something there that made you believe there was a change and it would be different? Look at what was said. Why did you go into this again?

Zumzulis: So I got pregnant again with him, and this time I regretted so much that I got back with him. He mentally abused me during the whole pregnancy and asked me to abort the child, or he would ruin my life.

Council: And so that is the second time you were in this relationship, and the behavior was abusive. And so, we would hope that at this point you would see it.

Zumzulis: I couldn’t believe that he trapped me again. It was even too late to terminate the pregnancy, and I felt mentally exhausted from the previous termination because I wanted a child so much, and we had planned it. So long story short, I have my child, and I ran from him when my baby was only 1½ months old after being treated like crap in my own home.

Council: And so, after these continuous getting back together, you have still experienced the same behavior, but now you have your child.

Zumzulis: I’m not going to get back with him this time for sure.

Council: Well we would hope so, because this will happen continuously until you get that lesson. And why would you put yourself through that over and over again? Even if this person were to come on their knees and beg you that they have changed, why would you take the chance and abuse yourself in this manner? So we would want you to be aware of this.

Zumzulis: I learned he is a narcissist. Now my baby is almost four months old, and I feel quite helpless because I am raising him almost on my own. The narcissist dad manipulates and abuses me by not looking out for the baby so I don’t have time for myself.

Council: And so, again, you are being abused. You don’t have time for yourself. At this point in your life, because of the choices you have made, the priority should not be who abuses you and what you have gone through, but how you are moving forward on a path for a different life for yourself and for your child. That is where the focus should be, not on blaming. It doesn’t matter. Where do you want your life to go now?

Zumzulis: I have sisters and a great mother, but my sisters are tired from their own kids, and my mother lives with my narcissistic dad on the other side of the country.

Council: So there’s a narcissistic dad also. So there are these interesting titles that you give to people. And yet we would say, look at yourself. This whole problem that you have is not about who is what, or how they treat you; it is about you. You are here to learn about you, what you will accept for this life, when you will get to the point where you know you are a spirit and you deserve better, and you can change it. All of this is about you, to learn about you. Take the focus off of everybody else and put it on yourself. You are capable. You can do this. You need to focus on where you want to go in the future.

Zumzulis: So when I came back to my parents, my father started abusing my mother, and I couldn’t stay any longer. So basically I have no help. Could you please give me any guidance on why this person came into my life, and ruined it, and still keeps trying to destroy my life, even if the cost is to abuse his own child?

Council: Because you set it up this way. Because you have decided this is the lesson you wanted to learn about yourself. And so, this lesson of being abused, and blaming others, and not having any help, keeps saying to you, “What do I do about it. What do I do about it?” And that’s where the focus should be.

So there is no blame on anybody else. It is a lesson that you called in, that you have created, that you wished to change. And when you get to that point, you will find where the right people will come into your life, and not think this man will track you down again, your father is abusing your mother, you know, maybe the neighbors will abuse each other. The point is to get away from that energy and know that, “I am strong, I have a child. It is my duty, my responsibility to take care of this child.” And you start to think like that. You will find the way.

Zumzulis: Another question I have is about my dreams. When I got pregnant, I had a very, very light, loving dream about my first boyfriend. After the dream, when waking up, I felt that I was free, and I will no longer have to suffer from this toxic relationship. But what does The Council say about that? What did it mean? Did the soul [of the child] that I got pregnant with save me. And what did it have to do with my first boyfriend?

Council: It has nothing to do with your first boyfriend. It is a wonderful memory. It is a dream that makes you feel good. But again, the purpose is not to go backwards, not to look for someone to take you away from this abusiveness. But look at this dream. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a relationship like that with someone? And you can find it. You can create it when you learn about yourself.

Zumzulis: I texted him and he is engaged already. I couldn’t stop thinking about him for the past couple of months. I started to feel like we broke up just yesterday, even though it’s been 10 years. Why do I feel this way if he’s engaged?

Council: Because you want that loving feeling. You think, “Oh, if their engagement broke up, maybe I can be with him. It will be wonderful.” Of course you could create that, but that is not the purpose. The purpose is, once again, what can you do?

You remember how it was. It was wonderful. You would like someone like that in the future, but how are you getting there. Do not go back into the past and think you can go into this relationship. What would you do if he married? Go into an affair? Would that be the right thing to do with that person’s wife? Would that be the kind of relationship you want? You would want someone for yourself that is good to you, that is good with you and with your child. And so going back only reminds you that there are good relationships and feelings you would like to have again. And so we would say, with this, move forward.

Zumzulis: Another dream I had was about my baby’s birthday. I dreamt he would be born on the 9th of November, and he was. Does it mean it was pre-planned?

Council: It could have been. It could be a sign that you decided that it would happen this way so that you’d know things are pre-planned. You can pre-plan, and you can take what you’re living now and plan the future the way you want it. And so take that sign as, you do have the power. You do have the availability to see signs that are sent to you to bring you where you want to be.

And so, we wish you love, and peace, and happiness on your journey, and just enjoy. Find things to enjoy and the rest will take care of itself.


Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Zumzulis and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

September 6, 2025 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Marriage, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Do I Create A Successful Romantic Relationship, And Start A Spiritual Business?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Soul Peace.

Soul Peace: Hello, Council, Bob, and Cynthia. Thanks for all the guidance you provide through the blog. I want to ask The Council a question. I have faced relationship and emotional abuse issues in previous marriages. What kind of changes do I have to bring in myself in order to create a successful relationship?

Council: First, we would ask you to look at these relationships, and they always come with a lesson. And when you don’t get the lesson, it will happen again, and you’ll have another opportunity. And when you don’t get the lesson, it will happen again. The people may change, but the lesson is there.

So we ask you to look at this. What happened in each relationship? What did you do that you feel brought some of this on? There is always your part in it. What did you settle for? What did you not appreciate about yourself? There is always, always a lesson. And then when you acknowledge what it is, to thank yourself, to thank your higher self, and find ways – meditate on how to change your behavior.

Everything that happens to someone is part of their growth. It is always something they have created. So we would like you to understand this didn’t come out of the thin air, and no one’s trying to get even with you, or do this to you. You called it in, and it is your way of learning how to grow.

Number one, before you start anything, you must find a way to love yourself. Whether you look in the mirror every day and just tell yourself you love yourself, or appreciate yourself. Find things during the day that you appreciate what you have done. It is in honoring yourself and loving yourself that you would bring in the right people to love you. But if you have the negative words that you speak to yourself, or if you have doubts about who you truly are, which is spirit, all of that will get in the way. You have to find a way to find love for yourself. The rest will take care of itself. You will find the right relationships. Work on yourself first.

Soul Peace: My other question is around starting my company. I have always been inclined toward spirituality and metaphysics.

Council: That’s wonderful.

Soul Peace: Lately I have also faced emotional issues such as anxiety, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Council: And when you grow in one, which is spiritual, the second problem will disappear. So they go hand in hand. You become more spiritual, you meditate, you pray, you go out in nature, you walk on a beach. Whatever that is, the littlest thing, sit in a chair and look at the trees. All of that will begin to change your vibration. And when that changes, you make room for new ideas to come in, for new paths for you to go on. And that is another thing you can start to do right now.

Soul Peace: I’m thinking of creating something that helps people tackle these issues. How can I do this? Should I create a blog, or an app, or write a book that can help people?

Council: All three sound wonderful. But the easiest would be to start a blog so that you can write your feelings and what you’ve discovered. And have people write on it also, maybe to answer you or ask you questions. And so, the reaching out to other spirits with the intention of helping is what makes this happen. Of course, eventually a book would be wonderful, and you are very capable of all of this.

But we would say, when you begin this, make it very personal. Not just for you, but maybe for others whose stories you have heard. When you connect with people, they don’t want to feel like they are reading a book and getting information. They want examples. They want stories that feel real. Stories that you have gone through, and how you have gone through it, and changed it. Or people you know that write to you, or talk to you about how they have changed their lives.

Always make it about the person who has grown from the experience. Perhaps it was very hard in the beginning, but there was a way. What way did they choose to change it? Because that way will work for others, and that’s why you are there. To put this out. To get the ideas across that there is always a way. And by sharing with different spirits, the way will come forth.

Soul Peace: Being a spiritual and emotional coach is very different from my current line of work. I want to ask The Council if this is a direction I should go into.

Council: It’s a wonderful direction. How wonderful that by helping others, you’ll be helping yourself. By wanting to heal others, healing will come to you. It is a wonderful direction.

Soul Peace: And if this is a direction I should go into, what should be the starting point, and how do I grow this? Thanks.

Council: Begin to play with a blog. It’s very simple. Just throw out some ideas and see where it goes. Put yourself out there.

And so our wishes for happiness, and joy, and fun on your path go out to everyone.


Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Soul Peace and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

June 1, 2025 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Meditation, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Vibration, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Why Did I Plan This Great Work Opportunity?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Anonymous_Question.

Anonymous: Hi, Cynthia, Bob, and The Council. Thanks so much for your work, and Happy New Year.

I had a lot of difficulty for the last few years with a manipulative manager in my last job, and went through a traumatic workplace situation recently in which I was nearly buried under a lot of misinformation and misperceptions about me. I responded to this with documentation refuting some of the claims, and then was soon laid off, which was a relief given the situation. I also have what seems like a great opportunity lined up that I will start soon, which came essentially immediately.

Council: And we would say to go into this new job, not with a fear of having trouble again or misinformation, but to see it as a gift that the universe has sent you. And you will work with very nice people, and you will love your job. Start that thought immediately. See it and feel it.

Anonymous: I was wondering if you had any clarity or insight into this situation as to if or why I might have planned this? Thank you.

Council: It’s an old past life where you had troubles, were very misunderstood, and you were not in a great household. Part of it (we see here), there was a lot of learning. Some things you weren’t interested in, and you seemed to get into a lot of trouble because you wanted something else, and in that particular life you were supposed to just be grateful for what you had. So it’s the tail end of healing this.

So it should not be hard for you to put an end to that lesson by starting off going into this new place very excited, very happy, that you have met the right people, the right job, and you will be very happy. Do not start thinking: suppose this happens like the last job, or I’m afraid to say this, or I’m afraid to say that. If you do, you will bring that lesson with you. You need to go in there with positive, wonderful, happy thoughts.

We are sending you all love and light. That is very much needed right now. Many, many people are having old, old issues coming up, old problems that many of you are trying to heal before you go forward into a new life and better experiences. So we say meditate. Meditate, meditate, meditate.


Listen to the entire 3-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous_Question and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

April 18, 2025 Posted by | Audio Content, Career, Channeling, Healing, Meditation, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers | , , , , | 2 Comments

What Can I Do About My Husband’s Debt Problems?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Lost89.

Lost89: Hi, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. I hope you guys are doing well. I have been so depressed and lost for the past couple of years. Nothing has been going right for me. My husband has made very poor decisions regarding our finances. We are in a huge debt now because of him. The situation keeps getting worse. I try to make him see reason and control his habits of spending money in an unwise manner, but he just doesn’t seem to understand. He keeps getting into more debt.

Council: We’d like to say here that this is a lesson from, we would say, three past lives that are affecting him now. And that’s why it’s so hard because he’s having a hard time with this lesson. And there was one life back in ancient times, and he had nothing. He was a slave who served. And his attitude, how he handled that, was being unaccepting. He could not find gratitude that he was a servant, but in a very good house. He wanted to be free. He wanted lovely things that he saw around. And he died in that same position of having nothing. And at the end, he didn’t even understand and was upset about that.

And then many years later, he brought it again. And it would be in a time that you would call the Old West in the United States. And he was not only a gambler there, but he was a drinker, and in a lot of trouble, and killed a lot of people. And he always wanted to gamble. More, more, more. More money, more money. He didn’t feel it was enough because he was carrying the feeling from the prior life. So in this life, the Western, he was shot. He was murdered. And he was shocked. When he was shot, he was not ready, and did not have the time to have a thought about what happened, and try to change his life.

And then we come further into the 1930s, and he was in Germany and had a beautiful house, and it was the time when the Germans were taking over and using the extermination camps. So the beautiful house that he finally achieved, the money, the paintings, the clothes, everything he wanted in the prior lives he had, but he lost. It was taken from him. So once again, he had a feeling of not having enough and not being safe.

And so when his life ended in that lifetime, he has brought it forth this time because his soul really, really wants to heal this. And from what you’re saying, he’s having a hard time again. And unfortunately you have to follow the rule of: let him be. Let him learn by himself. Let him see how it’s affecting your life and his life. And so he really wants to and needs to do it. And he will create a way either to fix it, learn from it, or carry it forward again.

And so that’s why it’s such a hard lesson. And you are part of it because you agreed to help. And so you are helping by being there, but you will help even more by allowing him to do what he can. Now you, in any way you can, make as much money as you possibly can, but always keep some for yourself. And so there is always some money, but he may not know that.

And so we ask you to learn how to meditate. If not, then daily sit in a chair, even if it’s only for ten minutes. And see, now that you know what is happening, see it changing. See that image. Feel in your body how happy you are when you see he’s beginning to change. And that’s how you heal it.

Lost89: We are starting to even get letters about lawsuits from the Supreme Court of Creditors.

Council: Yes, this is part of it.

Lost89: He bought an expensive car that I didn’t want and that we didn’t need. We barely have any money to even buy groceries and pay rent because all our money is going toward debt and expenses.

Council: Now when you get these letters, when you get the bills, even if you think it does no good, sit down with him and show him. Say, “Read this,” or read it to him. “Look what’s happening.” Point it out. That is part of your job. You can point it out and say, “What is your plan? What do you want to do about this?” So by you doing that, you are putting the lesson in his face. So every time there is a notice, every time there’s a bill that’s not paid, you stop him, and you sit down, and you show him. “Okay, here’s this again. What are we going to do?” And that’s how you teach him.

Lost89: It seems like no matter how hard I try to save money, things just keep getting worse. It’s always one thing or another. Please help put some insight and guidance to this matter. Thank you. Love and light.

Council: You must do it energetically first. And because you wanted to be there to help that person, and it helps you grow when you learn to accept, when you learn to be nice, even when it’s so hard for that person. You will be working on issues that are coming forward with you. So we would say, take these steps, and you will see a change.


Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lost89 and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

April 12, 2025 Posted by | Acceptance, Audio Content, Channeling, Healing, Meditation, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers | , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to Set Boundaries with Toxic In-Laws for a Healthier Life

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Starfish.

Starfish: Hello, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. Thanks for doing all the amazing work. I have a question for which I’d like to seek The Council’s guidance.

I’m having issues with my husband and in-laws that are causing a lot of mental anxiety, and lung-related issues for me. My husband is too attached to my in-laws, and is not able to have healthy boundaries. My in-laws have certain toxic traits, and they come to have an extended stay with us, causing a lot of disruptions in my health.

Council: Has this always been this way, or are you just aware of it now? So we’d ask you to take a look at this.

Starfish: My husband prioritizes his parents and is not able to see the wrong behaviors done by them. I want to check if it’s possible to have a future for me where I can stay with my husband happily, and not have to deal with or live with my in-laws?

Council: And so we would say this would all be up to you; how you see it and how you work with the energy. It is possible for you to speak to your husband about this and come up with something that would work for the both of you. If there’s no cooperation on his side, then we would say, well what can you do? Can you have your in-laws in your home and not spend too much time with them? Are you able to look at how they behave, then do the work, and try to learn what makes them like that? What are they trying to accomplish?

There’s always a lesson in these difficult challenges. And so we would say, play with that and see what comes out of trying to learn from it. But again, you have to do the work of meditating and seeing the way you want it.

We feel right now you are more on the path of: Can I leave and make a good life for myself, rather than trying to fix it. And there is no wrong answer. The choice is always yours, but it is now time for you to realize the choice is yours. What can you do to try to live with this behavior? Can you talk to his parents? Can you tell them this is upsetting, and will not be accepted anymore? Can you be honest and have this kind of conversation?

But to be there and let it go on, and not say anything to your husband and to his parents is just sitting in this lesson, and we do know what happens. If you don’t fix it now, if you don’t learn from it, you will repeat it in another life until you get the lesson.

So we would suggest that this time do everything that you can to learn from this lesson. If you still feel that it’s not for you, then you make the decision to leave. But always know it is your decision. This will not come from anybody else. So if you see yourself not being able to communicate with your in-laws, you will create that. If you can do the work and see things getting better, then that will happen. But what are you doing with the visualization? How are you working on this?

Starfish: The other option is for me to move away from my husband and create a different life for me and my son.

Council: Yes, you can do that, but then again, look at the whole picture. Is that what you want? How will you move forward? In what area? How will it help you be a better mother? How would it help you make your child happy and give him a good environment? If it will make things difficult for you when it comes to finances, how will you handle that? What will you do with it? How you handle things means a lot. So you don’t want to take your child and move away, not have the right finances, be nervous, maybe take it out on the child, or be worried all the time. Make a plan. If you decide to leave, where will you go? How will you work? How do you see your life moving forward? And this again is visualization.

Starfish: Can The Council please guide me on which path me and my son will find happiness and peace? I want to understand whether it will be on the path with my husband, or leaving my husband.

Council: And no one can make that decision but you. We can not tell you, “Oh yes, you will be happy,” because we don’t know what will be going on in your mind in the future. Are you thinking the wrong thoughts so that you’re creating the wrong outcome? It is always, always up to you. You decide what you want and then do the work of what you want. Will you stay, or will you go? It is entirely up to you. You are the creator.

Starfish: Looking at my anxiety issues and lung disorder, I don’t think I can deal with my in-laws in the same house with the current attitude of my husband. My son and I have suffered a lot in this relationship and I don’t think I can suffer more, and I don’t know how to create a future with my husband without my in-laws’ influence. Sometimes I think my in-laws are here so that I can see the true colors of my husband and move on.

Council: Oh, no, no, no. They are here to see the true colors of yourself, and how you will respond to all of this. And remember, this is something you wanted to learn to grow from it. So this is always about you. And it’s easy to blame the husband, or you know, go off in different directions. It is always about you learning about you.

Starfish: Also, I’ve been told by The Council that if I move away from my husband, my child is going to learn different lessons without his father.

Council: How wonderful. Then there are different lessons.

Starfish: Can The Council please guide me on what will be my and my child’s lessons without the father?

Council: Without the father there will be many other lessons. And again, it’s what you create. Do you create a good home environment? If not, then one of the lessons will be for you or your child how to live in that, how to create it differently, how to move forward differently if it’s not what you want.

And so, until you decide what you want, you will not create the environment that you want. And so we can not tell you to do this or do that. First decide what you want, then devise a whole plan on how to do this where you are truly comfortable.

So your son and you will have different lessons, but that was all chosen, that was all pre-planned. Now which way your decision takes you will allow what other lessons you need to learn, and that you need to go through this lifetime to learn from. And it’s that simple.

Starfish: Thanks.

Council: It is our duty, shall we say, it is our work to help the souls that are in a human reality to learn that: #1, you are the creator. We are not here to give you answers. We are here to show you how to get the answers. And so we say, take your time. You can go back and forth with your decision until one day you will decide: This is it.

And so we all send you all the love from spirit for you to take in, to feel it, to picture it, and send it out again. And then you are on your way to healing not only America, the United States, but the whole planet. This is your purpose.


Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starfish and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

February 15, 2025 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Desire, Healing, Meditation, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Reincarnation, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , , , , | 5 Comments

Is A Soul Waiting To Be A Member Of Our Family?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Eva,

Eva: I found great comfort in your answer, and I really want to thank you once more for your effort to really help people who are in need of a better understanding of our reality.

My question as well has to do with the possibility of having a baby of our own with my current partner. To be perfectly honest with you, I still feel guilty for the abortion I had in the past, and I wonder as well if he and I deserve a baby in our lives.

Council: This is not about who deserves what. This is about not only forgiving yourself, which is not even the right direction to go in. It’s not about forgiving. It’s that you completed what you wanted to do with this other spirit. The spirit agreed to it. What did you learn from this? It’s all about learning. And so, take it into your life now. Okay, you went through that. What have you learned? How does it change the way you live now? How would it change your future?

But we would definitely say, forget the guilt. It’s not necessary, it’s old baggage, and begin to appreciate yourself, that you went through this, what you planned. And so you went through it, you don’t have to go through it again, take the lessons. Really listen for the lesson and move forward with that.

Eva: We both try to spend as much time as possible with the kids we already have.

Council: That is a good step.

Eva: And I feel that if we had a chance to have one more child it would be really helpful for them, as well.

Council: So we would ask you, why are you putting this on another child? If you want more happiness, create it now before you decide to bring another soul into this.

And so many, many people, when their marriages are not working the way they want, they feel: Oh, we’ll have a child and that will fix it. No, it won’t, because you don’t know what you have agreed to with that spirit coming in. Will it make it harder because that’s what was agreed upon? Is it a way to get you to become more independent? Is it a way to fix what you have, and give more love to each other and to the children you have now before you bring another soul in? Or maybe then realizing you don’t need another soul. So this is a big question for you, to take the time and look for those answers.

Eva: I wonder if there is a new soul out there waiting to be the new member of our family?

Council: There is a soul that is available if it’s needed, but it’s on that basis, is the time right? Is it okay with that soul when you’re wanting to bring it in? It has the choice to look how you’re living now. If you’re in a miserable relationship, most souls don’t want to come into that unless it’s agreed upon by you and this other soul that things are worse, but you’re going to work through it.

So there’s always lessons around it, but the answer is to focus now on what you have and bring love in there first.

Eva: Many thanks for your love and understanding.

Council: And so we send you great love, happiness, understanding, hope, and kindness for the New Year that you are now going through in your reality. Ask for enlightenment when you pray, or when you meditate. Ask for understanding. But always ask to be connected to the love and the light in your heart, and that on a daily basis you can send it out and show people this love, this light, a kind word, a smile, and understanding even if you don’t understand.

Just being supportive, that will help you grow. And as you grow, the person you affect grows also. It’s a wonderful thing, we are here to help each other, and that will continue on larger and larger areas of our lives. And so remember, to be of service, find the love you have for yourself, and then share it with others.


Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Eva and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.

If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.

February 1, 2025 Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Questions & Answers, Soul, Spirit | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Can I Attract A Loving Relationship?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Jay.

Jay: I’m just so confused. Why is it that the guy I didn’t have any energetic connection with ended up being the guy I could open myself up to, while the guy I had a connection with triggered something in me to shut down?

Council: How could you think there’s no energetic connection if you can open yourself up to someone? We would say to take another look at this because if you feel safe enough to open up in any way that you imagine, there is a positive energetic connection there. So look for it, feel it. It’s definitely there.

Now it may be not what you want at this moment, but you have to give it time to grow, and watch it, and learn from this. And when there is no energetic connection, what do you mean by energetic connection? A love attachment, Intimacy? There’s much more than that in a connection.

And so watch and look at how you feel with both people and learn from it. And be aware of what’s going on. Be open to what you see.

Jay: I don’t know if I should continue dating or not. It seems to drain my energy, so I’ve decided to focus on creative pursuits to build myself up a bit more.

Council: So why does it drain your energy? Are you trying so hard to make something happen? Is it not going in the direction that you want?

You can date and keep things very light, and learn about yourself in these relationships, and learn about these people in the relationship. So there’s a lesson in there. There’s a learning that you wish to go through.

Jay: I did reach out to the first guy to be friends with him because I felt it was easy to open up to him, but I’m worried I could be setting myself up for an attachment.

Council: That’s because it’s something that you want, a relationship. It doesn’t mean it will be with this person. Can’t you have a friendly attachment to this person and then see how you feel? Or let things grow? Or fall apart? But watch these relationships?

Jay: What can I do to move past this and attract and keep a loving relationship with a man I desire, especially since I’ve never been in a relationship before?

Council: So if you’ve never been in a relationship before, imagine how you’d like your relationship to be. Nobody can do that for you. Nobody knows what you want.

So you have to do the work of getting yourself in a good vibration. Either meditate or think of happy thoughts. Anything to raise your vibration. And then imagine with the person you want, or a brand new person, how would you like it to be? And focus on that, and feel that.

And that’s how you bring in what you want. You always do the vibrational work first. It’s already happening for you. So for you to bring it in, imagine the way you want it.

These are fun questions. We love being part of this, we love watching you, we love giving you supportive energy, and we love seeing you grow. And when you come back here (to spirit) we’ll have a great parade, we’ll have a dinner, we’ll have happiness and dancing, and we’ll all be together again.

And it might help, when you do something that makes you happy, or you help someone, to say to yourself, “Wow, wait till I get back home. Wait till I share what I did with this.” And that’s part of the fun.

And we wish you all love and light, and take out your crayons and your paint brushes, and create the colors, the happiness, and the feelings. Create anything you want.


Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jay and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time. For the time being you don’t have to attach your name to the comment, but there have been a lot of anonymous comments lately, and it can be confusing for us to keep track of a lot of anonymous comments. It would help us if you made up a name rather than using no name.

If you prefer to keep your comment private, you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

February 6, 2024 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Imagination, Love, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, Vibration, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why Is My Son Estranged From Me?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Lon.

Lon: It’s taken me so long to ask this question because I wanted to ask it wisely and from an enlightened perspective.

My beloved 27-year-old son chooses to be estranged from me. The only explanation I have is that his father brainwashed him against me, especially after my separation from his father 10 years ago. But I suspect his father had been brainwashing him all during my son’s life, as I was often humiliated or invalidated by his father in our son’s presence.

Council: What should be remembered here is that even now at the age of 27, this is his choice to not have you in his life, even if the father brainwashed him and was very negative with what he said about you. It is still your son’s choice whether to bring you back into his life or to just let you go.

And so going through this, the lesson you learn is to accept him the way he is and send him light. Don’t try to force this reconciliation to happen, but in a loving heart and loving energy, send him energy. The energy of love will reach him and it will be his choice whether to accept it.

And we can say here you are in his thoughts, but can you learn the lesson of letting him be who he is? He has to work out his issues around everything that happened. And you, before coming into this incarnation, agreed to be part of this so that you would both learn.

Lon: I only learned two years ago that there was such a thing as parental alienation. My son was my joy and fulfillment in life, and we were truly bonded and always got on well. I thought by now,  after a bit of a break, and now that his father passed on two years ago, that he would reach out to me. He’s now living in another country and I found out on social media that he’s married, which broke my heart because even that milestone didn’t cause him to think of me.

Council: And once again these are his issues to work through, and by trying to connect with him or have any sort of communication would not work at this time. If he’s in a place where he doesn’t want to have you in his life, by you trying to force it, it will only push you away.

So we would say work with the vibration of love and do not worry, do not focus on what the father did or what the father said about you. That only brings that energy in and will keep the two of you apart. Just in your mind picture beautiful energy and love going to your son from you. That will change things faster than any letter, any phone call, or anything where you try to make it happen.

Just keep the thoughts positive. Focus on him calling you, or writing you, or coming to see you, and then you have the chance to heal it. That’s what you should focus on. Not what the father did and how hurtful it was. And we understand how hurtful it is at this point. It can be changed if you do the work.

Lon: The only means I have of contact is his email and I don’t know if he blocks the ones I send regularly.

What caused me to bring this heartbreak to myself in this life?

Council: Because you both agreed to it so you could learn to stay in the vibration of love, even when you’re hurting and things aren’t going your way, and that you lost your son right now. And for your son to learn forgiveness for whatever was said to him about you, and to want you in his life. So the both of you agreed to do this.

Lon: And what amends can I make for us to get back together in harmony?

Council: No amends are needed, only the energy of love, thinking of him positively, thinking of him appearing in your life, hearing from him, and that you now have the opportunity to fix this rift and heal it.

And so we wish you love, and happiness, and fun in creating your lives. You are the creator in your life. No one else is.


Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lon and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.

Or you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking on this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

January 2, 2024 Posted by | Acceptance, Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

How Can I Deal With My Difficult Son?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Ten.

Ten: I asked a question previously about creating a loving and lasting relationship with someone, and how that works with soul contracts. I’d like to understand what’s happening with my current situation. The person I’m imagining being with has moved to the other side of the world, which is perhaps the exact opposite thing I would like to have created.

Council: When you are creating, do you go into great detail on how this would happen?

Now this person moved away. Does it occur to you that things would come together and this person would move back, or you would move there? You don’t have to know how it’s going to happen, but just see yourselves together and believe it will happen, because every time you doubt, it slows everything up, and what you’re trying to create can’t come to you.

You can’t create what you want from being in a place of feeling the lack of what you desire, of thinking you don’t have it, of thinking it’s not working, of thinking it’s not going to be, and of thinking what’s wrong. So you have to get into that state of believing and feeling it’s already happening.

Ten: I have some understanding there are some things that are more or less predetermined, and this is making me doubt my ability to create the long-term relationship I want to have with this person.

Council: So if you listen to what you’ve just said, it’s making you doubt. The doubt is there. You keep creating doubt about how this would happen, or that you can even make it happen.

Ten: And I also doubt my free will.

Council: Ah. So doubting your free will it will never let it happen. Everyone has the free will to create whatever they want. And how fast you bring it in depends on: do you meditate on it, do you feel it all the time, do you see it all the time, and not go into the doubting, doubting, doubting?

You have free will. Of course you can create this, but you must get to the place where you know. You don’t have to know how, but you know it’s going to happen.

Ten: Is this somehow a wrong person that I have very little free will to create a happy relationship with?

Council: There is no wrong person if this is the one you want to create your life with.

And so, while you can’t control how the other person feels or works, you can create what you want. You want to have a relationship with this person. And so pretend like a little child would pretend they are an astronaut. Pretend it’s already in your vibration because it is. It is already in your vibration, but it can’t get to you when you keep going into: pererhaps it’s the wrong one, or I doubt this, or I doubt that. Keep thinking like this and you will not create it.

Ten: You mentioned “the right person” in the post above, Is The New Man I Met Right For Me? I’ve been imagining and feeling good about things until he moved away, and I still believe it’s possible, but I still belive it’s impossible and my efforts will be in vain.

Council: And so that’s part of the human condition. You believe something can happen, but suppose you’re wrong and you don’t want to get hurt because it won’t happen. And that’s exactly why you’re here. You are here to realize you are the creator. You are very powerful. You can use your mind, with discipline, to create whatever it is that you want.

And so that’s why you’re going through this now. It’s a lesson to show you that part of you knows it can create, but the fear comes in because you don’t want to be hurt, and suppose it’s the wrong person, and suppose it doesn’t happen.

So now you have a choice. Do you go with the good-feeling thought and keep thinking of the way you want it, and most of all, keep feeling it? Or are you going to let the fear take over and hold back everything that’s already there for you? Keep working on creating the dream you want.

And so we send you love, and light, and the thoughts to keep you in the positive vibration, and little by little learn how you are powerful spirits, and that you can create all of your desires.


Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Ten and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.

Or you can pay $60 to personally speak with The Council over the telephone for half-hour by clicking on this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call.

If you like this post, please click the LIKE button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

November 21, 2023 Posted by | Audio Content, Beliefs, Channeling, Choice, Creation, Doubt, Feelings, Free Will, Imagination, Meditation, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , | Leave a comment

How Can I Overcome Authority Problems With My Students?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Christea17, who works as a teacher who’s having some difficulty with her students. Some of them are very disrespectful, lack interest in learning, and it’s difficult to teach them anything. Unfortunately I feel I lack the authority, strength, and energy I need to change the atmosphere in my classes.

The Council says this feeling of lack is exactly where the problem comes from. If you don’t believe in yourself and what you’re able to accomplish, you won’t be able to manifest what you desire into your reality. What you need to do is start within yourself to be aware of what you want to accomplish. Be aware of the training you have and that you know how to handle this situation.

In your current lifetime you wanted to work with very young children. If possible, we suggest you find a position where you’re working with very young children, even what’s considered daycare, and start there. Build trust in what you have to offer to these children and it will be accepted.

Christea says she doesn’t know how to deal with unpleasant situations. I like teaching, but rarely do I feel like I can teach my students something. Sometimes it’s really depressing what’s going on in my classes. The Council points out that you don’t know if you have the ability to teach and if these children could be interested. There’s so much doubt in your thoughts and your beliefs that at this particular time this teaching isn’t something that will work for you until you work on yourself.

In the beginning, when you get a new class to take care of, show an interest in each child. Instead of going right into the educational requirements, express to these children that you’d like to know all about them. One at a time, have them tell you something about themselves and see if you can connect with that. See if you can say something like, I went through that also, or that’s funny, or look how you turned the situation around and you went through it. What are your interests? Ask your students if they could be in a classroom and could choose what you wanted to learn about, what would that be?

Get more of an idea from the children what they want. The students would begin to see you as someone who’s interested in them, and then share part of your path. What was your childhood like? What do you go through now? Ask them about their interests. This is very important. The way the educational system is now isn’t interesting to most children.

Find ways to get the children’s interest and then teach them a little about what they want. For an hour in the morning you can take one child and talk about what they’re interested in, and tell them as much as you know about that subject. After that you can go into what they need to learn as far as the education system is concerned. The next day pick another child. You can ask them if they could learn anything, what would that be? Always show the children you’re interested in what they want.

The Council says there’s a past life connection in the early 1700s where you were part of a group of children that lived in the same area and had to work to help their family exist, grow food, and make clothing. There was always the thought of going to a proper school, learning in large groups, and sharing knowledge, but this wasn’t possible in that particular life. In your current life you’ve created a situation where you not only want to learn, but you also want to teach. Your doubt of how to do this and how to handle unruly children is part of the lesson you’ve brought into this lifetime.

The easiest way to teach these children is to find things they’re interested in, and show you have an interest in them as people. Always ask them what they want to learn. If they could teach this class, what would they want to learn? And when they act unruly or give you silly answers you can laugh with them and tell them it’s funny, but bring the conversation around to what they’d do if they were the teacher. Get their minds going by imagining what they’d do if they were in charge. You’ll see a big difference. If you can’t handle this right now, we advise you to try and work with smaller and younger groups until you feel more confident. This confidence must come through you first.

Christea17 says, I wish I knew how to deal with these situations better and how to interact more positively with my students. The Council advises Christea17 to be a regular person. Show interest in your students. Tell them about yourself. This will change the atmosphere.

The Council adds that there’s a little exercise you can do. Sit in front of the classroom before you start your lessons. Picture a beautiful green energy in your heart. If there are twenty people in your class, send out twenty ropes of energy from your heart, one to each child in the room. See that rope of green energy going into them, circling around, and coming back to you. Make this connection and this will also help. Everything begins with energy first. The green light energy is healing, it’s love, and it works with the heart.

The Council closes by wishing everyone peace, love, and light. They say have fun on your path. Always look for the fun. The happiness will bring in everything you wish to create, whether you know what it is now or not. Your higher self knows. And when you stay happy it can bring it in.


Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Christea17 and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button found in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

December 26, 2021 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Other Lifetimes, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Requesting Guidance for a Never-Ending Divorce

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Amy. She says it’s a full year since I asked The Council about my divorce and it’s as if time has stood still. My divorce is no further along than it was then. I’ve tried everything to move the divorce forward, but my husband is intent on going to trial, and he has so much to lose. The challenges he’s faced with emotional abuse and substance abuse will now play out publicly in court and it’s possible he might lose custody of our children.

The Council says this is the way your husband wants the divorce to go. How would you like the divorce to go? If you put the thought in your mind that your husband is intent on going in the direction of court, does it bring up fear? Does it bring up frustration? Or are you satisfied with this and think we’ll go to trial, but I know his behavior and abuse will come out and the trial will go in my favor?

Find thoughts that bring you satisfaction and joy. The timing of when your divorce is finalized doesn’t matter. What will make the divorce move forward is if you take your thoughts away from frustration and appreciate your life. Go about your business and do what you want with your children and know that this divorce will eventually happen when you accept the way it’s going and know for sure, without a doubt in your mind, that everything will come out okay for you and your children.

Your husband has his lessons to go through. At this point your lesson is to accept what’s going on. Don’t think of the divorce as a battle and you’re going to war. Your husband is bringing on this challenge. You can accept it with peace in your mind and things will turn out in your favor.

Amy says, Losing custody of our children isn’t what I wanted for my husband, but he watches TV all day long and on TV you don’t see reasonable people gracefully dismantling their lives with their children at the center. I feel I’ve been fair and I’ve tried to settle this divorce fairly and quietly for the sake of our children, but there’s something blocking this divorce. The Council says the block is what you and your husband have come together to do and the lesson to be learned in it. You may not realize that spiritually your husband may have decided he wants to lose his children and learn what that’s about. You don’t have to know the reason, or what your husband is creating. This will show itself to you.

Amy says, We still live together, I still support him, and he refuses to work. The Council asks Amy why her husband should work if she lets him live with her and supports him? This doesn’t seem sensible. If you want to keep him living in your home and supporting him, that’s fine, but know you’re agreeing to this. You’re allowing this to happen. If you want something different you’d handle the situation differently.

Amy says, I can see so clearly what my life looks like with my children when I get to the other side of this divorce. I’ve deepened my relationship with myself over the last year and I’m anxiously awaiting the change and the experience it will bring to my family overall. The Council reminds Amy to do the inner work, keep seeing the pages of a calendar flying by, and the time has passed and your divorce is happening.

Amy says, I’ve been getting ready to get ready, as Abraham-Hicks teaches, and I feel good. It’s surprising to most people that I feel no animosity toward my husband. The Council says this is wonderful because animosity isn’t necessary and that in spirit you both created this situation.

Amy says, Our life is far more peaceful than it ever was before, living without the emotion and intensity our marriage held. We’re co-parents living in the same house and it feels a little like a dress rehearsal. The Council says without saying too much about your husband, some of what he’s created is to go through life easily and have things done for him. What he’s creating and will continue to create is to have people come into his life and make it easier.

Amy says, I’ve recently come to the point where I stopped trying to control the outcome and I’ve even given up on the timeline for the divorce. Right now I get to be with my children every day while the divorce works itself out and I’m grateful for every minute with them in the same house. Having said that, it’s time for me to move on. I feel a strong pull towards something else and I have no idea what that is. This is exciting – nervous excitement. There’s not another love interest or even a thought of one, or a friend or a family member pulling me along so I know this is a different calling.

The Council says it’s wonderful that you’ve stopped trying to control the outcome. This is the way to make the divorce happen. Stay in that feeling of excitement. Stay in the feeling of being pulled toward something new and wonderful. Even if you don’t know what you’re excited about, stay in that excited, happy feeling.

Amy says the universe takes care of my husband. Life just happens for him. He just seems to walk through life carelessly without consequences. No matter how badly he treats people or screws up, someone picks up the slack. It’s as if you can see him being carried. I know we all have a higher power watching over us. It’s just easy to see with my husband that he’s always taken care of no matter how bad his behavior is or how much he alienates friends and family. The Council says this isn’t any part of what you need to experience. He’ll go through all the emotions and all the experience he needs on his path.

Amy says, I can’t be the person I’ve been for my husband anymore. I need to move on, but I feel a block and I can’t seem to clear it. The Council says there isn’t any block. Think of the divorce moving forward. You’re on the correct path. All that you wish, if you continue to focus on it, will come to you. Let go of the time factor. It’s not necessary. Stay in a vibration of happiness and love and you’ll see your divorce come quickly.

The Council says you’re all so much more than you think you are. You’re all on this wonderful path of growth, and understanding, and realizing there are many lives you’ve experienced and many more you’ll create when you’re ready. Focus on being the creator. Focus on bringing joy and laughter into your life and everything will come to you. When you’re happy, you’ll see the connections that are being made. There will be more understanding. Stay in that feeling of joy.


Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Amy and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council a question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section following the audio recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

December 1, 2021 Posted by | Abraham-Hicks, Acceptance, Audio Content, Channeling, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Why Would We Pre-Plan in Spirit to be Abused in Our Life?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Free2BeMe13, who asks if our lives are preplanned with spiritual contracts and agreements, why would we choose to be abused, victimized, or even killed.

The Council says you choose these things to learn a lesson, to learn how to change that lesson situation into something better, to teach the people around you how to experience fear and then forgiveness, to learn how to love, to see when you’re in physical reality how you’ll handle your situation, and most importantly to learn how to love yourself if you’ve gone through so much fear and abuse.

Free2BeMe13 asks why would the perpetrator of this abuse agree in spirit to do these things to you? The Council says this is a very good question. They suggest you read, The Little Soul And The Sun, by Donald Walsh, and you’ll see why a spirit would agree to be a perpetrator. You’ll see that when you’re preparing your current physical reality and you’re talking with spirits and telling them what you want to learn, you may decide you want to learn how you’re going to handle going through abuse. Some spirit will come forward and say, Because we’re all here to help and love each other, I’ll be your abuser in your life so that you can have the experience you desire so you can learn from this experience, and I can learn what it’s like to be an abuser. Can I learn to forgive myself? Can I decide to change and not be abusive anymore? There are all kinds of reasons, but we suggest you read that book to learn more about them.

Free2BeMe13 asks, Can someone who signs a contract on a soul level steer away from what he or she contracted to do? The Council says, Of course. You always have free will. If you have a contract and some soul says, I’ll do this for you, and they come in your life and they’re handling whatever lessons, challenges, and happiness they wish to experience, if for some reason they don’t want to go through what they agreed to, there’s always another spirit who will come into your physical reality and take that soul’s place and become the perpetrator so you can learn the lesson you desire. That’s how much we love each other. We’re willing to play the bad guy in this movie we call life so that we both learn.

Free2BeMe13 closes by asking if we’re able to choose not to come back and have experiences on Earth or other planets and simply be part of the energy field? The Council says of course you can do that, but as we in the spirit world all know, we always want to come back. We always want to help someone. We always want to have fun when we arrive on the Earth path. We always want to learn something and grow. And most of all, we want to take the love that’s in the spirit world and little by little, fill up our physical reality with it.


Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Free2BeMe and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.

If you like this post please feel free to click the LIKE button that appears in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

November 13, 2021 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , | Leave a comment

How Can We Change the Life We Pre-Planned in Spirit?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, PE, who wants to know how to change the pre-birth plans they made when they were still in spirit, and they give the following example. If you’re very sick, can you decide you’d rather not deal with the issue of sickness in your current lifetime and your body will heal itself?

The Council explains that the experiences we wish to go through once we enter our physical lifetime are chosen by us in spirit to help us grow. During your spiritual pre-birth planning, sometimes you pick a lesson that will be very difficult once you enter physical reality, although in spirit it doesn’t feel like it will be difficult. The spirit chooses to have the experience because it wants to learn from it and grow. When you pre-plan something in spirit, your higher self knows why you want to go through this. But in your physical lifetime as you face these difficulties you may say, “I’ve had enough. I don’t want to deal with this.” But your spirit knows better; it knows how much it wants to go through this experience to learn and grow from it.

When you’re going through an experience and find it too stressful and it prevents you from experiencing other things you desire to experience in that lifetime, you can go through part of it and decide to continue it in another lifetime instead. But that’s the human part of you making that decision. The spiritual part of you will help you get through a difficult experience and when you finally learn the lesson, the body will instantaneously heal.

Sometimes all you need to realize is that the healing comes from within you. When you realize you’re a powerful spiritual being in a physical body, you can change your life. Many people who go through an illness don’t feel powerful and go through it without understanding this is something they chose in spirit. They think let me ease this experience and continue it at another time. The Council says it’s possible to do this.

But The Council adds that what you experience is what you believe. If you believe you’ve chosen this difficult illness in spirit, you can speak to your spirit in meditation and prayer and ask for this difficulty to change. If your faith and your belief are strong enough, you can do this. You, as a human being, are always in control with your thoughts, with how you look at each experience, and how you try to understand the lesson behind the difficulty.

The Council says whatever lesson we choose to go through in this physical reality we always come for one reason and that’s to figure out how to bring love into the lesson we’re going through? How can I learn to love in this situation? How do the people around me learn to love in this situation? Always know you can reach out to your higher self in meditation or prayer and ask to be shown the lesson you wished to learn. Ask to see this lesson the way you presented it to your spirit guides when you pre-planned it. And ask to remember who you truly are as a spiritual being and that you have a choice in your physical life.

As a human being having an uncomfortable experience you can say, I’ve had enough, I don’t want to deal with this difficulty any more. But who you are as a spiritual being knows it has to push you through this difficulty. It was your desire to get through this experience. But if it seems too much for you right now, you can ask to let yourself learn from what you’ve experienced so far, and continue this lesson in another lifetime.

When you meditate and connect with your higher self, a dialogue begins and your higher self will know how to get you through this difficulty, how to make it easier, or how to change it. You are your higher self. You have access to your higher self when you meditate, whether you feel it consciously or not. You have access to your higher self when you pray. You have access to your higher self when you dream.

When you learn you are your higher self, which creates the human part of you that’s going through this difficult experience, that spirit part of you is coming with you on this journey and is seeing how you handle each experience. Your higher self understands what was agreed upon before you came into your physical reality and it knows how the human part of you can handle the difficulty.

Meditate and visualize healing energy around you. Know your connection to your higher self is there, even if you don’t feel it consciously. The more you think of the way you want your life to be, your life will adjust to these thoughts. Take time to meditate and speak with your higher self. You may not remember what you planned. Your life may be difficult and you think you can’t learn from it. Can you find a way to change your life? Can you make it less traumatic? But you have to reach out with your thoughts, knowing that you’re connected to your higher self.

Many people believe there’s the human part of you, and your spirit part is way off somewhere else. It’s not. You are that spirit part of you. When you think you bit off more than you can chew, the higher part of you knows what you planned and why you planned it. If you believe your higher part can ease your difficulty, it can. If you believe your higher part can cure your illness, it can. Each lesson you go through brings you to the understanding you’re not a victim. When you know there is an answer to your questions – and you don’t have to know how your answer will come –  the answer will come when you’re open to it. But you have to think, “I am the one who will change this. I am the one that will connect with the part of me that has all the answers.” And when you let go of the fear and the discouragement the answers will come.

Play with the reasons you could have planned your difficulty. Many people use illness or a disability as a punishment. The Council says that’s only a thought in the human mind that you’ve carried with you into this world, and you’ll create the disease or the disability if you feel there’s a reason for this. When you connect to spirit, you’ll know that everything you think you should be punished for was just an experience for you to learn from. There’s no one here keeping track of how far you’ve come or if you’ve been punished long enough. The answer comes in prayer and meditation. In your quiet time your answers will come.

The Council ends by saying they think some who hear the guidance in this post won’t find it easy to understand, and they say this is fine. Listen to it again and again and do the mediations, and talk to your spirit, and you’ll see the difference in your lives.

Listen to the entire 17-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for PE and the rest of us. A session like this one is particularly difficult to recap with just the highlights, as we’ve attempted to do in this written summary. And let us know what you feel about this session.

April 2, 2019 Posted by | Audio Content, Beliefs, Challenges, Channeling, Connecting With Spirit, Love, Meditation, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Is My Boyfriend Interested In Marrying Me?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, Curious, who says she’s been with her significant other for about 12 years. Curious has been married twice before and her partner has never been married. In the early years of their relationship she didn’t want to get married again because of her experience in her two earlier marriages.

At this point The Council emphasizes that Curious has made clear by her actions and her words that she doesn’t want to get married, and her partner has taken this point in.

Curious goes on to say that about 3 years ago her feelings about marriage changed and she told her partner in what she considered a no pressure way that even though she wasn’t interested in marriage before, she was interested now.

The Council says because Curious changed her mind about getting married and she let her partner know, she expected her partner to accept this new idea before he was ready. The Council says what Curious is hopefully learning from this experience is to allow her partner (and everyone else) to be who they are. The Council adds that while it’s wonderful that Curious is aware of this change in her thinking and is able to express her desires to her partner, part of her lesson is to allow her boyfriend to have a different opinion at this time and accept that maybe he doesn’t want to move forward as fast as she does.

The Council says there’s nothing in the way of an eventual marriage, and asks what Curious has done in her visualizations to create this change she seeks? Is she working on seeing the marriage happening? Is Curious putting happy feelings into the thought that the marriage will occur at some point, rather than focusing on why her partner hasn’t changed his mind yet? The inner work to create this marriage is very important.

The Council feels Curious’s partner is comfortable with the relationship the way it is and he’s not ready to change the relationship at this time. Both souls have agreed in spirit to create this situation. For both of you this is a lesson in patience, understanding, and allowing. When these lessons have all been learned, there will be movement towards the marriage Curious desires.

Is Curious enjoying being with her partner, or is she stuck thinking when will this marriage happen? Enjoy every part of the relationship like you did before you told your partner you wanted to get married. The more Curious is able to find things to be grateful for in the relationship and do the inner work of thinking how she wants the relationship to evolve, the easier it will be to create the marriage she desires.

Curious says a month ago someone introduced her partner as her husband and he commented, “No, just boyfriend,” and laughed. This hurt Curious’s feelings, but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to pressure her partner. The Council says Curious’s partner is speaking the truth and they ask why this hurts her feelings? They suggest it’s because the marriage isn’t happening at the exact time she wishes it to happen.

Curious asks if she and her partner are meant to take their relationship to the next level, and The Council says, “In time.” She asks if her partner is interested in marriage and The Council says, “Cautiously, yes.” If Curious falls into feelings of impatience and has negative feelings about the relationship, this can change the path of the relationship into something that causes problems she has to learn from before she can move forward.

The Council’s parting thoughts are for Curious to bring more love into the relationship with her partner and create happy experiences along the way. And they emphasize again the importance of her doing the inner work necessary to create this marriage.

Listen to the entire 8-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Curious and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about this.

If you like this session, please consider clicking the Like button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

September 12, 2018 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Gratitude, Marriage, Questions & Answers, Relationships, You Create Your Reality | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why Am I Still Single?

This post answers questions from a reader named, Melissa, who asks what’s the purpose for her being single and not having a relationship in this lifetime?

The Council asks Melissa when she thinks of a partner, does she think about how a partner is missing from her life? They say if her focus on the absence of what she desires, she’ll never bring a partner in.

There was a desire to learn a lot about independence while being alone. In another lifetime this wasn’t possible and you had a desire to come into this lifetime and be in charge and be strong.

When you get to a place of being independent and you’re loving this independence, it’s from this place of happiness that you can begin to think of what you want in a partner. Would you like to keep the independence you’ve achieved while in a relationship? What kind of relationship will you have? How would you maintain a sense of equality? How would you form a relationship where you both can grow?

In this lifetime you’re spirit wanted to be strong, capable, and independent because of your experience in your other lifetime. In order to accomplish this you took the time to be alone. But if you hang on to the feeling and the thought that you can’t attract a suitable partner, more of what you’re feeling and thinking will be created in your life.

You’re stalled without a relationship because you’re waiting for it to come along, but you’re not thinking enough about how you want this relationship to be. How can you keep your independence, stay strong, continue to grow, and take care of yourself? You need to focus on the type of partner that will match your desires and also worked hard to become who they are. Enjoy the freedom of who you are and now attract to yourself the partner who will enable you to go even further.

A partner has already been planned for you in spirit. You wanted to attract a partner when you were strong enough to call in the specific ingredients that will put this relationship together. Focus on the relationship specifics you desire instead of the lack of them and you’ll attract this relationship to you.  You’ve followed what you’ve planned. You’ve worked on yourself a lot. That’s exactly what you wanted to do. Now you’re in a place where you can begin to attract this partner.

The Council informs Melissa that it’s not her plan to remain single in her current lifetime. She’s worked out in spirit who will come along and how the relationship will progress.

Melissa closes by saying she’s discouraged by her situation and can’t understand the lesson she’s supposed to learn in what’s going on right now. She feels powerless.

The Council says Melissa has followed her spiritual plans perfectly. It takes a powerful person to go forward and become who they wanted to be, because when you’re on the Earth path you don’t remember what you planned in spirit. You’ve accomplished what you spiritually intended because spirit speaks to you and has brought you on your path. You’ve done the first part of what you wanted, and there’s no reason you can’t attract a suitable partner now.

Know that you have choices. You’re a powerful spirit and now you’re ready to attract the right partner. Be in the vibration of happiness and excitement and know that as you’ve specifically created what you wanted in your life so far, you can also create the partner and relationship you desire in your life. And The Council closes by saying if the work is done without doubt, the relationship won’t take too long for Melissa to draw it into her life.

Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Melissa and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you like this session, please consider clicking the Like button in the section following the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks.

September 1, 2018 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Other Lifetimes, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Is There a Lesson in a Friendship with an Old Flame?

This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the initials, PE, who says she confessed her love to a friend a few years ago, but the friend didn’t feel the same way and PE was heartbroken and embarrassed. PE and her friend became distant after this and she let go of her pain over the embarrassment.

Recently this old flame came back into PE’s life and he wants to reignite their friendship by PE spending time with him and his new girlfriend. But when PE spends time with this couple she ends up feeling sad and doesn’t know why. She let go of the feelings she had for this guy and she’s not interested in him romantically any more. PE asks The Council if there’s a purpose or a lesson for her from this situation?

The Council sees PE and the guy she liked planned in spirit before they were born, to be together in this lifetime, but it was also planned if they were unable to find a way to be together romantically, they would at least be friends and be in each other’s life.

If PE is sad when she’s with this guy and his new girlfriend, the best she can do at this point is wish them well, accept the situation, and then take these good wishes into herself so she’s able to find her own partner. As you can be happy for this couple, that happiness will come back to you. If you’re unable to be with this couple for a while, find a way to get comfortable with this, but know that on a soul level you and this guy planned to be in each other’s lives, even if not romantically.

It’s PE’s choice to take the relationship in whatever direction she wants. He found a way to bridge the distance that was created previously and ask for a friendship. He’s following that part of their soul agreement, even if he’s consciously not aware of it. Now it’s up to PE to see what direction she wants to take her life. The Council adds if PE isn’t able to be a friend with this man in this lifetime, they can promise her she’ll have other opportunities in other lifetimes until they work out the relationship.

The Council says when you’re able to change how you see your situation and realize there’s another option that you both chose in spirit, perhaps you’ll feel differently. PE can feel good about telling her friend she loved him because she was following the original agreement. But because you and your friend have free will, it doesn’t always mean what you planned in spirit will come together easily. So you planned another way, which was to remain in each other’s lives, but as friends. Can you get to the place where you’re able to be friends with this man? If not, why?

As difficult as it may be, wish this guy and his new girlfriend well. Send them love. If you don’t feel it, fake it until you can make it happen. When you can truly feel happiness for them, your life will change. The feelings you have will affect your life, not theirs. Work toward feelings of forgiveness for him, for yourself, and for plans that didn’t work out. And know that you made a back-up plan which you still have a chance to follow. And if you’re unable to follow your back-up plan, you’ll be able to do it again in another lifetime.

Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for PE and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.

If you like this post, please consider clicking the Like button in the section below the recording to let our other reads know. Thanks.

August 17, 2018 Posted by | Agreement, Audio Content, Channeling, Choice, Free Will, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Questions & Answers, Relationships, Spirit | , , , | 4 Comments

Will the Soul I Aborted Return in a Future Pregnancy?

This post is inspired by a question from an Anonymous reader who asks The Council if the soul she recently aborted will return to her in a future pregnancy. She says this abortion wasn’t an easy decision for her and her husband and she’s been missing the baby and feeling like a guilty, bad mother. She says oddly she didn’t feel connected to the baby while she was pregnant. Only after the abortion did she feel connected to this soul.

The Council says she wanted to experience how she’d feel when someone she loved passes on and she created this in a way where she was pregnant and aborted the child she felt no connection to. Now that the child is gone she feels the connection and has the opportunity to learn the lesson that love is forever. The connection she felt in her physical reality isn’t broken when one soul returns to spirit.

The Council says she pre-determined in spirit to be able to become pregnant again and it was agreed that this same soul she aborted would return in this future pregnancy. She was not a bad mother. She was creating a lesson for herself, and they ask her to remember that lesson when others she knows pass from this lifetime.

There is a sadness from not being connected in physical reality, but she can still feel them and talk to them in her mind and dreams. They say this connection was an important lesson for her to learn and to share with others.

The Council says the spirit of the baby that was aborted was part of this decision. It knew it would be aborted so the mother could learn the lesson about love transcending physical reality. But this soul would not go away and if Anonymous brings this soul back there will be many new lessons they will learn together. Anonymous did exactly what she pre-planned in spirit and has no reason to feel bad about terminating her pregnancy.

In their closing The Council asks us all to remember our promise as we all came into this physical reality to bring love into this reality, no matter what the reality is. Listen to our entire 7-minute session with The Council (below) to receive all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.

April 12, 2017 Posted by | Audio Content, Channeling, Love, Pre-Incarnation Planning, Pregnancy, Questions & Answers, Spirit | , , , | 9 Comments